The ponies stared at the boxes, not trusting them in the least. Something could explode, or kill them, or let loose an evil upon the world.

Pinkie squeed happily, tearing open her gift with the gusto of a fat person starving in a truck full of Twinkies.

"Pinkie, wait!" Twilight yelled. But it was too late. The box was open. Though, what was in it seemed strangely... harmless.

Pinkie stared in confusion at the gift. A cake. A see-through cake. She circled it multiple times, even looked at the top and bottom of it. But she didn't understand it. "What is it?" she asked herself.

Rainbow Dash looked at it with a raised brow. "It looks like a cake," she said, needlessly.

Pinkie reached out a hoof to touch it.

There was a bliping noise, startling them all. But what was more, the cake was no long see-through. It was a normal cake, with white frosting and pink borders. On top were frosting balloons and streamers, as well as a large candle in the shape of a smiley face.

Pinkie gasped in excitement of the cake. Extending her jaws to impossible proportions, she engulfed the whole thing, swallowing it in one bite. But the cake was still there. She gasped again, once again swallowing the cake whole. The cake was still there. She squealed with excitement. "Infinite cake!" she screamed, stuffing her head into the cake and munchig on it loudly.

The rest of the ponies looked back to thier gifts. He openly insulted and hated Pinkie, and he gave her infinite cake. What could he have given them?

Rainbow Dash tore open her box. What was inside, though, confused her more than Pinkie's gift confused Pinkie. She pulled out a small black box with a comically large red button on top that said in big black bold words "DO NOT PUSH".

Twilight looked at the box skeptically. "Rainbow, maybe you-"

Rainbow pushed the button. In the next second two things happened. One, a large hulk of metal appeared next to her, nearly crushing her friends. Two, a note floated down and landed on her muzzle. She grabbed it with a hoof and looked over it.

Dash, I'm sorry I left you. But to make up for it I gave you the fastest jet known to Mankind. It has a top speed of Mach twelve. To my knowledge, that's faster than you after you hit maximum speeds and create that rainbow bomb thing. Enjoy.

- A Friend

She put the note down and looked at the jet. A smile started creeping across her face.

Applejack and Rarity exchanged a look before both of them opened their boxes. They both pulled out things that made little sense to them.

Applejack pulled out a pair of keys between her teeth. They jingled once, and something large and green appeared next to her. Again, just like with Rainbow Dash, a note floated down. She read it.

Applejack, as much as I dislike you, you're a friend of a friend. This is called a tractor where I'm from, and it can plow a field twenty times the size of yours in half the time you could with your old plow. Take it.

- A Friend of a Friend

Rarity pulled out what looked to be a rock. A simple, dirty rock. A rock with a note on it. She took it in her hoof, because magic didn't work.

Rarity, I don't like you. But because you're friends with my friends, I'll give you this. Crack it against the floor, put it together, then do it again

- A Friend of a Friend

She quizzically looked at the rock, dropping it on the marble floor. It burst open, and countless gems and jewels of every shape, size, and color tumbled to the floor.

Her eyes widened as she put ot back together, then quickly bashed it against the floor agian. And again, more and more gems came out of it.

Fluttershy slowly took the wrappings off of her gift, folding them neatly at her side and peering into the open box. Her eyes went wide.

The thing jumped out of the box, knocking into her and tumbling her over onto her back. It licked her face.

Fluttershy squeed and hugged the adorable baby wolf tightly, snuggling it closely.

Twilight, the last one to open her box started carefully tearing off the paper. She peeled it off carefully, as if scared that whatever was inside of it would try to eat her. She tore off the last piece of paper, and the box sprang open. She tentatively looked inside.

"Hello, master," a posh, slightly british voice said.

Twilight screamed, jumping backwards almost ten feet.

All of her friends were instantly in defensive positions, glaring at the open box. Something, or somepony, was alive in there.

"Master? Hello?~ Master?~" the voice called.

Twilight slowly crept up to the box, peering inside once more. Seeing what was in it, she cocked a brow and reached in, pulling out a blank, simple book. She stared at it. "Um, hello?" she tried.

"Hello, master," the book said, pulsing with light with every syllabol. "How are you this fine evening? Well, I hope."

Everypony present was eyeing the book curiously at this point. "You're... a book?" Twilight said dumbly.

The book sighed tiredly. "Yes, I'm a book," it said, as if it were tired of this particular situation. "I'm made of dead trees and chemicals. I contain words. Ooh, mysterious.~" It huffed loudly. "Not that anybody actually reads anymore besides the master."

Twilight looked at her friends who all shrugged. "Who's... 'the master'?" she asked.

The book sighed dreamily. "Ah, the master. He took such good care of me. Cleaning me off every day, listening to me complain about life..." It sighed again, as if remembering a fond memory. "I love that man like a brother."

"You mean that violent psychopath that likes to blow things up?" she asked, not believing that they were talking about the same person.

The book cleared its throat, however that worked. "He prefers the term, 'mentally unbalanced'," it said with an edge of anger in its voice.

Twilight's eyes went wide. "You mean...?"

"He was actually crazy?" the book finished. "Oh yes, he was quite mad. I would often times overhear his arguements with himself in the middle of the night. Sometimes, he even lost." It cleared its throat again. "But, I still think the doctor he saw about his, erm, hallucinations, was a quack. We never even got to see his credentials."

All of their faces lost a bit of color when they heard that he was indeed, very much insane. "So, why are you calling me master?" Twilight asked the book.

It sighed in annoyance. "Well, I suppose it was inevitable, really. The master always said how much I needed a vacation, and now that he's found somebody he believes can read like he does, he's given me to you."

Twilight opened the book out of curiousity. Flipping through the pages, she found it blank. She closed the book again. "Well, how am I going to read you without any words?" she said, slightly annoyed at being made fun of by a book.

The book sighed again. "Let me clearify, little horse. I'm not a book. I'm the book. The beginning and the end of literature as it exists."

Twilight raised a brow at this.

The book sighed again. "My name is Paige. Yes, I know that's a girl's name, but that's what the master named me in honor of his cruel sense of humor." The book, or, Paige, cleared its throat again. "You see, I'm magical. I can sense when words are being made, erased, or read. And in my memory, I can recreate any writing of any language from any time in any plane of existance. Hence, why the master wanted to give me to you." Paige sighed again. "He thinks that because you owned a puny, insignificant little library, that you must be competent enough to handle reading from me."

Twilight glared at the book. "I'll have you know that my library is second only to the Canterlot archives!"

The book scoffed. "Oh please, I was there when these 'archives' were made. The master was niether impressed, nor interested in reading your primitive pony scribblings. The master only reads things that are worth his time, or that can hold his very picky interests."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

Paige sighed again. "I'm saying, little horse, that the master is above your species. He has read your precious archives' quantity ten times over in his free time alone. Had he decided to become a scholar, the master would have easily transcended even the greatest works of art."

Twilight's eyes slowly widened as she realized what was being said. "You mean... that..."

"That the master is a genius?" it finished for her once again. "Yes, he is. He actually broke a scientific record, believe it or not. A test to determine one's reading ability. A test designed by real scientist in a lab somewhere. Well, his adeptness in the literary arts was so high, he wasn't able to be qualified for the test. His score was a twelve-point-nine, simply because the test couldn't go any higher."

Twilight eyed the book, thinking about the man that came to their world. "He's a mad genius..."

The book chuckled lightly. "Yes, that's one way to put it, I suppose. Though I wouldn't, personally."

Twilight's eyes lit up. "I want to know everything! Show me everything!"

Paige sighed again.

Away from the six ponies, two alicorns stood together, staring at the box that was as big as them with well-hidden fear. They could detect no life within, nor anything else for that matter. It was an alien expirience to them, not being able to do anything at all with their magic.

"Should we open it?" Luna asked.

Celestia eyed the box with interest. She would not lie, this box intrigued her more than anything else in the long years of her life. An alien being from another dimension that can do anything, make anything, and the very fabric of reality and beyond bends to his whim with the wave of his hand? It was like meeting Discord all over again, but this time it didn't threaten the world, only the two of them. But the others got pleasant gifts. Wonderous gifts that made them smile. What could be in this curious box?

Celestia set her jaw and reached for the box with one hoof. At her touch, it exploded open with a loud bang.

Everypony in the room looked at the cloud of smoke that the box made with interest.

When the smoke cleared, a simple little box floated in the air. Suspended by means invisible to them all.

Celestia grabbed it in her hoof and looked at the small words on the screen. "Please activate to spawn," she read aloud. She frowned. "What does that mean?"

The box's screen suddenly flashed bright white, blinding them painfully. Beeps and whirs and other such noises were heard before the light faded. And when it did...

There, standing where the box had previously been, was a pony. A pegasus stallion sporting many deadly weapons. He smiled evilly, opening his mouth and spoke in a horrifically familiar voice. "So, you didn't think this was over, did you?" he said.

***

As the lone earth pony mare walked down the broken streets of Canterlot, she sighed. Her head was hung low, her glossy black mane obscuring her vision slightly.

Everything was going so well for her. She had finally found somepony special. Somepony who didn't shun her and treat her like a monster. Somepony who would have probably loved her even without that stupid bucking spell!

She growled to herself, kicking a large piece of rubble as hard as she could. Her crimson red coat had been stained by now from the mess that was Canterlot city, so the bits of dust she got on her from the rubble didn't bother her. In fact, it almost matched her sandy eyes perfectly.

She sighed, dropping her head low again as she thought about that. They weren't her sandy eyes. They were that stupid sergeant's sandy eyes. They-

Something hit her on the head, bouncing off and falling in front of her.

She rubbed the back of her head as she looked at the thing that had hit her. A small parcel wrapped in black paper with a red ribbon on it.

Picking it up, she pulled the ribbon off with her teeth and nosed the lid off. She gasped.

Inside was a necklace. A golden locket. The shape was of a heart with a large, jagged crack running down the center.

She flipped it open, and tears started running down her face again. Tears of sadness and joy, mingling together.

Love and Hate go together well.

- A Distant Love

Author's Note

So, it's finally over. I had fun, and that's all that matters in the end. Not much to say except for thank you. Thank you to all of the people that kept reading this disaster of a story. Thank you for keeping me going with your comments and support. Without you guys, I'm just a lonely guy sitting at a computer with a half-talent for entertaining people. If I were a pony, my Cutie mark would be something that represents my ability to fuck up everything around me beyond belief. I'm just glad I can do right by some of you out there in writing these things.
Have a nice day.