What makes a mare?

Are thou sure you want to host a party?" said Luna, trailing behind her sister. "I hear the

element of laughter is already hosting a party for loyalty." Celestia nodded. "While I would

probably gain a lot of attention attending a small local party, I really do want to honour the

elements...I also want to tell everypony in Equestria about Rainbow Dash." spoke the sun

demigod. Luna frowned. "Why does thou care what her name is?" Celestia smiled. "Because it's

funny and the author enjoys writing us completely out of character." Celestia was right, I

did enjoy making her seem completely out of character and an asshole. "See sister?" The duo

trudged down the dark corridors of the palace. They spoke about little things like current

affairs and the upcoming party. Finally they parted ways, going towards their respective

chambers. As Luna reached her chamber doors she stopped to address a patrolling gaurd. "Have

the castle chef fetch me some McDonalds." The guard looked a little confused. "Isn't

McDonalds made of cows?" asked the guard hesitantly. Luna slapped him. "Cows are delicious!"

she yelled in her Royal Canterlot voice. And with that she walked away.

~

They were gone. GONE! Rainbow Dash tried to rescue her social isurence card and ID but they

had turned to ash. Actually now that she thought of it, they had burned like a piece of

paper. Her cards were made of plastic, which was strange because they should have melted. The

author then realized that the pegaus with the rainbow hair was on to her. "What?" Nothing

assured the author...Nothing at all...Anyway, Rainbow Dash was beyond livid, without two of

her forms of Identification she couldn't apply for a name change. She paled. Who knows how

long she would have to live as Lesbian CarriageWasher? Damn! This meant also postponing her

application to the Wonderbolts Academy as well. Sighing yet again, she decided that maybe it

would be best if she went to sleep. Besides, its not like she was going to go to that damn

party Pinkie Pie was hosting for her. Stretching, she trudged off to bed.

~~

She really should have seen it coming. After all she had know Pinkie Diane Pie for a little

over seven years. She should have expected her to kidnap her and drag her against her will to

a party she wanted nothing to do with. She should have also expected that half of the towns

male population to suggest she get "together" with a mare while they watched. She glanced

around the bakery at all the decorations. Two giant banners hung above the door of

the bakery. One read: Happy Coming Out! and the other read: Welcome Lesbian CarriageWasher!

Rainbow coloured streamers and balloons were all over the room, and in a corner there was a

table filled with rainbow coloured food. Lesbian trudged up to the food table and grabbed

tankard of Apple Cider. Thankfully this stuff was the alcoholic kind, so she was gonna make

sure she got drunk so she could forget this night. "Hey baby!" CarriageWasher froze, turning

around slowly she came face to face with the town drunk: Berry Punch. "Oh hey I'm not gay

so...." Rainbow Dash backed away a bit. Berry Punch glared at her. "I wasn't talking to you.

I was talking to Bella!" Rainbow Dash was confused. Who the hell was Bella? Before she could

ask the other mare pushed her aside and began making out with punch bowl.

"OH YES, BELLA!!" Rainbow Dash slowly made her way to the other side of the room and sat in a

booth. Maybe she should leave. Almost instantaneously Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere and

held a knife up. "Leave and I will slice you." And with that Rainbow Dash decided that maybe

she should just enjoy the party. Pinkie smiled at her. "Good girl, don’t even think about

leaving again." And with that she disappeared again. Rainbow Dash si- "STOP WITH MAKING ME

SIGH" screamed the pegaus. I replied by dropping a lighting fixture on her. Anyway, Rainbow

Dash sighed and picked up her forgotten tankard of cider and began chugging slowly it. As the

night wore on, and after a few dozen more tankards of drinks AND watching Berry Punch propose

to "Bella" AND a getting a few congratulations about finally "coming out" Rainbow Dash found

herself on the dance floor, chugging cider and vomiting on the other dancers. "WOO!" screamed

Rainbow Dash, puking into the mouth a passed out pegaus stallion.

Just then a loud scream came from the other end of the room causing the dubstep music that

was playing the background to stop. Stopping her binge drinking for a minute she decide to

investigate like everyone else. The source of the scream turned out to be Twilight Sparkle.

"There is a giant ball of light in the sky!" scream Twilight pointing out the window. Lesbian

took a glance outside. She found nothing but the moon and a few Jesus Crust worshippers

dancing around a portable stove top which had a pizza on it. "You mean the moon?" she asked

the obviously drunk mare. "No, that big white ball with the dents in it" replied Twilight

pointing at the moon. "The moon." Twilight slapped Rainbow Dash. "NO! That's not the moon."

she screamed. Rainbow Dash sighed and then glared at the other before turning to Fluttershy

who was standing nearby eating a hot dog.

"How much has she had to drink?" she asked. Fluttershy tilted her head and swallowed a bite

of her hot dog. "One third of a beer." she stated. "That's it seriously? And she is drunk?"

said Rainbow Dash. "I think she is just pretending" whispered the other pegaus. "I AINT

PRETENDING NOTHING! I DON'T NEED TO PRETEND I'M TWILIGHT DAMN SPARKLE! I'VE ACOMPLISHED A THOUSAND THINGS! I DEFEATED NIGHTMARE MOON AND DISCORD!" screamed the unicorn. "Yeah but not by your self." Lesbians reply resulted in a slap across the face with a fish. "I DID IT! ME! ALL ME! YOU PONIES DID NOTHING! NOTHING! I'M GOING TO BE AN ALICORN!" Twilight ran off leaving the party behind. "She has her expectations high doesn’t she?" said Rarity, who randomly appeared from nowhere. "HEY BITCH RANDOMLY APPEARING FROM NOWHERE IS MY THING" Pinkie Pie jumped on Rarity and began punching her. Rainbow smiled. This night turned out to be okay after all. She still hated her name though.