The Swiss-German Lance

Chapter 3

        After me walking for quite a time towards the treehouse and meeting other humorous houses, I saw that the treehouse really was gigantic like I said last time.

        I came up to the door and knocked. It’s a fucking library! Why am I even knocking? I looked down and saw I had a hoof, and there was a knob. Oh yeah, that’s why. After waiting some time, I thought nobody would be inside. So I turned around and tried to go, but I heard then a door open. I turned around and saw a lavender pony a rather darkish purple mane with darker violet and pink stripe, and with a horn.

        “I never saw you here, are you new here?” She asked me.

I just answered with a simple “Yes, are you the librarian here?”

She looked at me and beamed, answering with a smile “Yes.”

“Can you help me with a book? I need a book about humans.”

That got her off guard, she just looked at me, mumbling with a frown “Oh god not another one.” Then resuming with a smile, saying louder “We do have some books about humans, why do you ask?”

That made me rather happy, and from the looks of it she actually saw me smiling, I then said “Perfect, I need a book of it because I need to get back home.”

        She looked at me like I’m drunk, sighing, and then making place, letting me in. I got in, and looked around, the inside was massive, so many books.

        She then cleared her throat, which got me her attention, she then said “Anthropology books are in the ‘races’ section.”

        I nodded and walked started searching for the section, after searching for it I found some books, I took it and started reading them, looking what they know and if there were humans here.

        I opened one of the books and started reading it, finding some stuff that is true, some that isn’t true. I closed the book later and putten it back to place, good thing it was rather low placed and not high up.

        I’ve stood up and walked of to the librarian asking her if those books are up to date.

        “Of course they are,” she said “I always keep the books up to date, why do you ask?”

        “Because it’s like hundred years old?” I answered with a questionmark face, she just looked at me like I’m lying.

        “You’re very bad at lying, sir. Why do you even interest to read those books?” asked the librarian. Because I’m a human and you never take me seriously, that’s why, Smartass.

        “I’m from a different universe where I was human and are much more experienced and researched more then here.” Except magic.

        She looked me like I’m now about to pass out or if I’m now drunk and high, saying “Can I ask your name and do you mind if I ask you some questions? Just to prove if you’re really a human.”

        “Uhh...alright?” I was now not so sure what she will ask me. “Skyfall. Now the question’s, are they personal?”

        “Some of them, yes, but you can skip them if you feel uncomfortable.” She answered, which made me smile because I will skip hell of a lot, if I’m able to do that.

        She then took out a scroll and quill and cleared her throat, then coming out with the dumbest question ever “Are you a virgin?” …Seriously?

“Skip, definitive skip” I asked, nearly yelling at the end, but she shook her head.

“I need to know this, are you a virgin?” She asked, looking at me, I then put my head down, saying quietly “Yes” I fucking hate you.

She made a tick, looking at the scroll, then asking giving a rather more reasonable question “What is our race called?” Come to think about it. I don’t even know!

“Sexual Pleaser?” I asked, wearing a face that shows ‘I don’t know’

She just looked at me, not even giving out a reaction, just saying “Unicorn, how can’t you know that?” She asked with a surprised face. I told you that I’m a human of another planet or even universe, you bitch!

“Human, told ya” I told her simply, giving her a smile, not even caring if she disagrees, she didn’t disagree surprisingly, just making a tick, continuing.

She looked like she didn’t even understand the third question she wrote, then blushing madly, saying only “Let’s skip question number three and skip to four, okay?”

I didn’t understand her at all, but I still nodded, waiting for her to ask the question, readying my brain for the question as well.

“How did you come here, where did you live and what did you do before you came here?” Aren’t those like three questions now? Meh, whatever. I shrugged the best I could as a pony and said “I came here by a dream, I lived in Switzerland, near Germany and I was lying in the bed.”

She made a tick, and then wrote something, then questioning “How far are you with technology and researching?”

That made me actually think, I always used but never thought about it, I came up with the most dumbest or funniest idea, I don’t care, at least it’s an answer.

“Like thirty times?” I said, making a derp face, not even knowing if that’s true or not.

Her mouth dropped open, so open I thought it’s not even physically possible, thinking now I broke her, I touched her.

        “WHAT?!” she yelled at me, scaring the living shit out of me, making me jump back like one foot.

Jeez control yourself! Don’t freak out in a massive burst! Wait, I’ve done that as well…”

        I looked at her, scared what will happen next, the then took a deep breath, and did a tick, closing the scroll, and putting the quill back to where she took it.

        “Alright, we’ll take you to Princess Celestia, she might be able to help you about this…problem you got.” She said, that freezed me. Me, infront of a princess...HELL NO!

        “Don’t! Please! Don’t bring to a princess! I don’t want to die so early!” I yelled, nearly about to cry just because I didn’t get it right. She looked at me like I’m now fully dumb like bread, giggling, answering then with “Oh don’t worry, she won’t kill you or put you in prison, she will just interrogate you and try to bring you back home.”

        “No, I won’t go to her.” I said harsh, not wanting to see her at all.

        “Why not?” asked the librarian

        “I just don’t want to, I get just too nervous when I’m in front of somebody-”

        “Somepony.” She corrected me, though I didn’t pay attention, continueing to ramble on, until she smacked me, having enough of me trying to avoid meeting the princess.

        “You will go Princess Celestia, end of discussion.” she said angrily, glaring at me.

I rubbed the spot where she’d hit me, it really hurted to be honest, I sighed and then nodded, and then realized, I don’t even know her name! I opened my mouth but she glared at me, I instantly closed it again.

“Okay, we could bring you to Princess Luna if you don’t want Princess Celestia.” she answered, hoping it would raise any chances.

“What’s the difference about them anyway?” I asked, Now hope she won’t say like ‘They control sun and moon.’

“They control the sun and the moon.” The librarian said, giving me a face hoping she didn’t break me, she sadly did, and shortly after, it was dark. Congratulations me! I was so broken I fell into unconsciousness!