Chapters Ditzy sat in an ally way she looked down at the puddle she tried her hardest to align both her eyes to look at the puddle but ultimately failed. The one eye that did manage to look at the puddle showed Ditzy something she wished she didn't have to see. A mare covered in filth scrapes and cuts decorating her face and body.
"I just don't know what went wrong". Ditzy sighed her sight was becoming blurry from her tears she didnt want to cry anymore.
. . .
It was just another day for ditzy she was out delivering mail to Twilight the package was unusually heavy than what she is used to carrying but it didn't matter.
"Nor rain nor sleet nor hail i shall not fail to deliver mail i serve Equestria news daily." She giggled as she arrived at the library.
She arrived at the library and knocked on the door. A Purple unicorn answered her knocks.
"Hi there is that package for me?" The purple unicorn pointed to the box the mailmare had strapped to her sidebag.
"If you're Twilight Sparkle then yes this is yours". She unstraps the bag and hands it to Twilight.
"Thank you very much." Twilight grabbed the bag and looked at the mailmare
Ditzy stretched her wings as if she was about to take off
"Wait whats your name?"
"Its Ditzy now I have to go i am in a rush to finish up and have some free time."
"Before you go I just wanted to say you have really pretty eyes."
"Thank you very much now bye" Ditzy gave her a smile and flapped her wings soaring off into the sky heading to her home.
"Well now that I'm done with that all i gotta do is go home and-".
Ditzy was interrupted by a blur of color it struck her out of the sky as she fell towards the ground something odd happened.
Ditzy swore she saw a pony but not a pony she didn't know what to think but he was amazing, a pegasus with a dark brown coat, his mane a bizarre arrangements of colors it looked like it was changing colors actually, as she fell the pegasus swooped in and grabbed her but his touch caused something deep in her break or even vanish but something else took its place then she blacked out.
. . .
Ditzy awoke to find herself on a bed in a white room with a window open a small breeze came in and ditzy felt calm and soothed at the same time but yet she felt something deep inside her she hasnt felt before she just pushed the thought out of her head and looked around her surroudings.
A mare trotted into the room and looked at ditzy in disguse and avoided eye contact obviously Ditzy noticed there was a light coming from the mare it was an odd green with slips of red infused Ditzy was confused the light seemed to come from her body she noticed that the mare wasnt looking her in the eye as she spoke
"Um Ditzy is it?, you seemed to have been in an accident and it has messed with your vision we preformed all types of magic to fix your eyes but nothing seemed to work all of our tries though seemed to give you a nurological problem you may forever be uncoordinate". As the mare finished she left in a hurry obviously distraught at something.
. . .
Ditzy was released from the hospital , as she left she teared up knowing that she wont be able to continue her job she decided she wasn't going to back at all. As walked to Fluttershy's cottage she was passed by a few ponies, they all looked at her as if she was a monster she ran off fast teary eyed but determined to get to Fluttershy's home. A few tears later she was at the doorstep of the most understanding pony in equeastria. Ditzy knocked and Fluttershy answered the door, Ditzy had tear stained cheeks shy' just simply nodded understanding her intentions and invited her in.
. . .
Run. Hide. Cry
This has been my new life my daily routine for three days no pony has came looking for me but I'm glad no pony cares i don't care either! I am still running looking for a place to go I have arrived at sweet apple acres but im only here to sneak a few apples im terribly hungry ill be here for a few more days until I feel I'm nourished again. A big stallion spotted me creeping around but I dont think that he realized i wasnt a part of his imagination it was dark after all.
"Hey applejack can you go get some trees I gotta go break the rocks on the dirt road?" A deeper stallion voice said these words.
"No problem Mac." Applejack said as she galloped off to the orchard.
"You can come out now ma'-am?" The stallion said
I was shocked that he actually knew I was there I was hiding in the bushes sure he couldn't see me but i guess he must of noticed me somehow. I get out of the bush and walk to him my head hanging low I felt shameful.
"H-hi there sir". This was my first time being close enough to him to see his color it was extraordinary nothing i have ever seen it was a gold with a white outline I haven't seem anypony with white in there color at all i found it enchanting.
"Aint no need for that mess, now tell why didn't you tell us you were here?"
He spoke calmly but he gave me a big toothy grin it was kinda cute...wait cute?! He is a huge stallion and I say cute for him? Thats the wrong word but then what is the right word....he is staring at me...probably judging me..or waiting for me to reply come on Ditzy don't be so pessimistic..there goes another word I never used before.
"U-umm I was hungry sorry." I didnt know what else to say!!!
"Oh well in that case come on inside I can cook you something up mighty quick." He was already pushing me to the barn in fact he lifted me up onto his back.
"Oh no please I dont want to intrude -another word I havent used- on you please." I couldnt help but like the warmth his body gave offI may of actually clung to him
"Dont worry itll be my pleasure helping a pony who needs it please you are my guest." He trotted into the barn with me but this barn was blank nothing put up to decorate the interior.
"Its empty inside here I thought your family would like decorations-" he cut me off before i could finish
"Well thats because this barn is for me made it myself and I dont really have a taste in decoratin."
I smiled and got off of him and sat on a haystack he went into a different room and not so long after he left I could smell it the smell of baking goods!!
"I hope you like muffins."
"MUFFINS?!?" I squeaked out the word into a half shrill and shout, I felt my cheeks warm up.
"I take that as a yes i'd reckon."
A few minutes later he came out and oh the sight was glorious he had two plates full of muffins a dozen on each to think a stallion like him a big chunk of pony knows how to bake and oh filly did they smell good.
"They smell delicious!" I was giddy I love muffins so much
"Because they are but in order to have some you have to tell me the truth on why you are here."
Great a curious stallion who is holding my biggest weakness against me!
"Fine but don't hate me" i meant it he will think I'm a freak I'm surprised he hasn't laughed at my eyes yet.
And so I began I told him about the mysterious pegasus about the way i can see colors how ponies have laughed at me.
The whole time he was looking at me with a sincere look be never looked away for a second honestly it was a bit creepy for a minute but i passed that thought grateful that someone will listen to my story.
"You are welcomed to stay here for as long as you want please I would be glad to have a beautiful mare like you in my barn" his color not his body but his aura...his light it changed to an odd texture colorless but there transparent -another word- first time I saw that to he is defiantly something special and I liked it.
"Thank you very much but please keep me a secret ok I don't want anyone else to know about me being here ok?"
"Yes now that we have gone through all that may I know yer name miss-"
I interrupted him, "Ditzy...Ditzy Doo."
"Hi miss Doo I'm big Macintosh or just Mac." He gave a smile and for the first time in a while I gave a small giggle in return.
"Now miss Doo dig in!" As soon as those words left his mouth I attacked the plate knocking him down with it I devoured the whole dozen on one plate he managed to have six muffins on his plate before I was upon him."
We shared laughs we laid there all day talking to each other about our lives he didn't have many stories but each one he told me I clung to enjoying the thought of having a friend but honestly I felt more for him all through the night his light his aura kept changing it was amazing to watch. He didn't have another bed so he let me sleep in his bed made out of hay but late at night while he slept I snuck into the guess room and snuggled up next to him if he wonders why i'll just say it was cold.
It has been about six days and let me say that I have never felt like this Mac and I have spent these days talking, working on his barn and even being all close we would always sleep in the same bed and hold each other close.
. . .
As always I can never stay happy Mac and I was sleeping one night together when I was woken up.
"What in tarnations are you doing in the same bed with Big Mac?" It was the famous rodeo winner who always had her signature hat on, Applejack. Her light was odd because it wasn't even a light it was like a window glass, a texture, transparent like anypony could look into it and see her as her nothing else, no cover to the book. Another thing that was weird is that I could see her words not as in letters but like a smooth flowing river my. My eyes crossed I couldn't focus on anything her presence was overwhelming.
"Oh-oh I um...am a friend of Big Mac." I honestly was scared not of Applejack I know she was nice but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to live here anymore.
"Yeah yeah whatever I need Mac so wake him up and tell him to get to the house." With that Applejack left in a hurry, as she left the barn my eyes returned to be aligned.
I shook Mac and nuzzled him until I saw his eyes slowly open his light was a soft gold with white circling around his heart.
"Huh? Whats wrong?" He was still half awake and I could just kiss him he was so handsome so...I don't really have words to describe it.
"Applejack knows about me and she needs you in the house it looked important." My voice came out a bit shaken I could tell by his face and his light change he was worried. His light shifted from gold to grey but yet his heart remained encircled by white.
"I'll be back stay here please." He took off before I could respond to him.
. . .
Its been three hours I have been sitting here waiting for the return of Mac. I could no longer wait I galloped out of the barn and straight to the house where I saw Mac and Applejack talking I wasn't close enough to see there light but they were obviously arguing and Applejack seemed to be winning.
(Big Mac's POV)
"Get her out of here we cant have someone putting out family in danger!" Applejack shouted at me
"I didn't know that she could be a threat please let me find another way maybe we can protect her!" I pleaded to Applejack but I already know when she has her mind set upon something she will do whatever it takes to make it happen.
"Either you can get her to leave without hurting her or I will get her out!" I flinched back at this she wasnt going to joke around
"Seriously Mac you saw that note we cant keep her here I'm sorry I know you like her but she must go." I knew she was right that note wasn't even written with ink. I didn't say anything to her I just simply nodded and trotted off to my barn when I got there she wasn't waiting for me.
All I could do was lay in the bed and wait her scent still fresh on the hay I shut my eyes a tear rolled out onto my cheek I sighed and fell asleep dreaming about her and our short times together.
. . .
(Ditzy's POV)
I ran, I ran as fast as I could, I caused harm to someone's family I didn't know what was happening but I had to go I truly know now that I have to be alone or I will hurt whoever is next to me.
Run, Hide, Cry.
I ran into Ponyville and by my luck it began to rain. I took shelter in an ally way then I just simply sat next to a puddle and looked into the reflcetion.
Minuets, hours, days...it seemed like years...no decades before I could feel...feel anything I was empty alone and afraid...afraid of indifferance. The fact that the one stallion the one pony I thought cared about me wanted to kick me out. I am alone, pathetic, a FREAK .
I was gazing down at the puddle when a different pony...a pegasus..the pegasus gazed back at me from the puddle. I jumped back a bit but I continued to look at the pegasus actually being able to see his appearance. He was unlike anypony I have ever seen, his mane seemed to glow a soft yet sickly forest green with stripes of red and jet black. His facial features were bold yet subtle. He spoke but his lips did not move.
You know who I am don't you.
"A MONSTER." I shouted at the puddle not caring if anypony were to see me at this point, I needed to understand why, why in all of Equestria would he do something like this to me!
He simply stared back at me didn't smile didn't frown didn't give any emotion or grimace to me one bit his reflection faded and mine reappeared I saw my eyes my weird freak eyes. Alone once again...good.
I heard my stomach growl and rumble I placed a hoof upon it, worried then finally realized to just waste away. Disappear into nothing, just die here and rot so nopony would ever have to see this wall-eyed freak. I looked away from the puddle disgusted with myself. I looked up to see a wide pair of eyes staring at me blue iris eyes. A pony slowly trotted into few but before I could get a fix on the pony it was gone, a bright blur of pink. My normal eye scanned for the pony but my other eye the one that so happened to be staring at the ally wall, or would have been if a pink mare wasnt in the way of its sight. The pink mare stared into my eye. And my eye stared back looking at her light of course just like her fur and her mane it was pink, but it was beyond intense it hurt to look at the dancing shaking pink light but yet there was an odd black color hiding underneath I could see it even through her ruse, after trying so hard with the intense pink I could see then black hole within her circling her heart for some reason I felt sympathy for this mare, but she was still staring.
JUDGING YOU SHE KNOWS YOURE A FREAK!
"Cool eyes gold is such a pretty color!" She said in a happy upbeat voice.
"U-um excus-" I couldn't even finish my thoughts before she spoke again
"I wonder how it would be to have gold colored eyes maybe it would look pretty on me but, if I had gold eyes instead of blue then I wouldn't be me, and if I wasn't me than who would I be I love being me!" She continued to ramble on i tuned her out but there those last words she spoke her pink light broke it was only for a second but it broke. She was hiding her true self and I could see through it with my freak eye.
"And if I wasn't me then I couldn't cheer up sad ponies like you!" I had her tuned out but I heard her say that, it stopped me in my thoughts.
"Wh-what?" I stuttered I began to realize she wanted to help me...but the last pony who helped was gonna get hurt by something I caused.
"I cant stand seeing a friend sad and lonely!" She said that as if it was a habit so practiced so fake. Her light her bright and yelling pink turned into a quiet grey as she spoke out those words.
"No it isn't me that needs help its you." My words came out rough and jagged like a broken blade that has been left to rust.
"What I don't need help, I am as happy as can be, you miss Ditzy need help." She knows my name. Her dull grey light began to turn to a quiet and weeping blue the light cried out to me begging for help.
"How do you know my name?" I was a bit worried that people may have been spreading rumors about the freak mare hiding in the ally way.
"Well I know everypony's name!" She shrieked out those last words she was falling apart.
"Well can I know yours?" She took a minute and finally replied
"Pinkiepie!" Her light shivered at the name like it was a putrid smell.
. . .
After many hours of rambling and arguing we decided to go into her home she had so many colors painting the walls.
So fake!
"What are you hiding Pinkiepie." I decided to just go at what my gut is telling me what to do.
"I have no clue to wh-" For once it was my turn to interrupt someone.
"I know you arent all sunshine and smiles tell me what is the true you!" At this point I wasn't speaking but I was fully aware of what I was saying.
"Stop." She could only manage out that one word before I was upon her with my words.
"I know you're hiding the true you." Her color released itself from its insipid prison and finally turned black.
"Go away." A new person has came out her mane was no longer puffy and fluffed but now flat and limp.
"Not yet, don't hide whom you are but change it, don't cover yourself in a mask or paint over the holes, you must fix yourself you are too busy trying to help everpony else but yourself."
"Please let me be alone." She sobbed out these words broken, sad, and true.
"You must make repairs Pinkie please, not for others but for yourself." A spark in her color a small white light in the darkest black.
"You are right but nopony will like the true me." The light began to dim out, but I wont let it go out.
"When it's Darkest is the best time to find your true light it sticks out easily, like a star in the night, waiting to be touched to be embraced!
Her light went off like an explosion, white true glee shined from her she had her eyes shut, but she smiled I took this as my time to leave quietly. I am glad I could help somepony maybe this freak has found out how to be useful.
Its been a few days and I have realized that this curse with my eyes wasn't meant to help me. It may be the worst thing that has happened to me but it is the best thing that has happened to other ponies.
Let me list some pros and cons
.............
I can help ponies who need it...pro
Everypony thinks of me as some stupid, clumsy, freak at there first sight of me...con
I can see ponies true nature and intentions...pro and con..I mean yeah in certain situations it would be nice to know how others felt abut a topic but..what if people were thinking bad of me I wouldn't want to know about that..or even with surprises..theres just mo surprise...
I sigh and trot back to town from the woods that I have been staying in for these last few days, it isn't that bad lots of foods and water for me.
. . .
As I trot into town I notice a wide assortments of streamers and sparkly rocks strategically organized and placed in certain areas all of them pointing towards a shop which I couldn't help but felt drawn to. I speed up my trot into a gallop and ran towards the shop being called by all of the decorations that were leading me there.
Decorations, designs, and dresses...when I arrived to the shop thats all I could think when the display window caught my eye..so much effort was put into these dresses must of took a long time to make a dress like one of these let alone three of them.
The first dress sparkled white and purple due to the ribbons that enveloped the body while the hat upon the poniken's head was shouting for attention, its frame was bold and hard as if it was sturdy as a rock but it seemed delicate as a flower. To me this dressed screamed out 'Don't stand in my way'.
The next dress that was to the left of the center dress was quiet. It whispered with its calm light green color, a slight nice dull yellow stream spiraled up the poniken's legs and spread of into the body disappearing into the green flickering off the ends. There wasn't a hat and that fit just right this dress was meant to be worn with somepony who could hide behind there own long hair, as if there hair was to be part of the dress. This dressed didn't speak to me but I could understand that it wanted to hide and only be found by certain ponies.
The third and final dress to the right of the center dress didn't seem to be anything..didn't speak out didn't show emotion..and didn't have as much effort to it at all..yet something about it struck me as familiar. The dress had a dark grey body that had no designs into it. Upon the neck a gold necklace hung there as if it was just stuck in a situation it didn't want to be in. The legs were again a simple grey but this time there were gold and black veins that seemed to pulse underneath the color. I didn't notice I was practically pressed against the window until I looked at the poniken's face...it wasn't blank it had a mare with gold eyes..gold wall eyes that couldn't focus upon anything..
"Um, I see you are interested in my dressed." A white mare with luscious purple mane spoke to me.
I didn't know I was staring into my own reflection until there store owner spoke those words I jumped back at the sudden sound for I was in a complete trance, utterly lost in the thoughts of my own mind.
"Oh yeah, um I don't know this dress caught my eye for some reason...why did you make it?" I finally looked at her and saw her color.
The white mare had a remarkable glow of purple light mixed in with some sparkles which made me feel..warm..I dont know how to explain it exactly but it just made me feel...comfortable.
"I still have no idea why I made this dress but theres a dress for every mare and this one just came into my head for no reason...either way its here and ready for purchase..but I feel wrong trying to sell it..yet I am suppose to..right?" She seemed confused and thats when I saw it..her light changed a bit, a green glow mixed with red vibrating dots began to radiate from her puple color.
Think Ditzy what could that mean she is questioning herself about selling it but feels as if it shouldnt be sold like it was meant fro a certain mare. Think. Think. THINK.
"I never asked your name miss-" I interupted here.
"Ditzy, my name is Ditzy and yours is?"
"Rarity."
Rarity...rarity...I remember that name...the mane six..corrupted by..GREED! Aha! Ditzy you genious!
"That's a nice name...." How am I going to go about this, how will I help, how can I...
"Hey I could work out something with you if you want this dress." Her words were stressed as if it hurt to speak.
"Sorry I have no bits." Her eyes went glassy as if I just killed her.
"Then you have no reason to be here." There she left heart exposed so now I can take a stab.
"Greedy much?" Thats all I needed to say two words would easily stop her.
"Greed?! I am of no such thing I am the element of genorsity how can I be greedy!?" Her words were spat out as if something bitter had touched her tongue.
"Just cause I have no bits I cant browse your beautiful dresses?" I was going to go about this smoothly and sneakily.
"W-well no but..why bother it doesnt make sense?" Confused...good I have her confused.
"Just think I could have told friends about this store and they may have bought something here."
"What kind of friends could a wall eyed freak like you have!" Her words struck like venom of course they hurt..words hurt me more them anythinf else. I am weak.
"And now you have gone making insults towards my looks! How could you possibly be genorosity!? Generosity isn't just giving people material items its also about being there to help! You're suppose to give people truthful words but not to be mean but to help! You are suppose to HELP ponies in there time of need! Thats the correct generosity! You suffer from greed...you're to busy worrying about how your own reputation rather than worrying about ponies that need a caring hoof!" I sucked in a breath of air for I was breathless after saying all of my words without a pause.
"...." Silence her light began to shake and vibrate violently but then it exploded brightly, a blinding white came from her and she smiled right before she collapsed..good thing no other pony was nearby or it would have looked like I hurt her so I galloped of quickly smiling that I just helped another pony in need.
I know what I am here for no pony is useless no pony is nothing, I now have a new meaning.
A week later...
I have finally managed to muster the courage to go and see Fluttershy again...I know it has been a while since I have spoke to her but..I feel as if I need to, maybe I just feel guilty? I did sort of just leave her without any type of warning...yeah I am feeling guilty. I wonder if she ever felt worried about me..oh Celestia how selfish have I been..I left her with no warning no chance..nothing she must of been worried something bad happened to me! Or maybe even that she hurt my feelings somehow oh Fluttershy always was really delicate. I gotta go too her..to make sure she knows I am OK. I must go make sure she is OK. I spread my wings feeling confident that and determined to go meet an old friend. Somepony who has never let me down who was always there for me even if she wasn't next to me.
I'm coming Fluttershy
. . .
I was flying, oh the sweet joy of flight it has been so long since I have actually felt flight....I may of been flying before, but not like this, I was always in a hurry to deliver the mail or get home p, I was always busy when I was flying I never took the time to feel the wind in my face flowing through my mane. I was always stressed, but this time I can actually feel it..as if I am no longer numb to the great things Equestria still has to offer...maybe there is more than just helping ponies left for me. Hopefully I can continue to live my life after I have completed whatever it is I'm doing.
. . .
I reached Fluttershy's cottage quickly too quick honestly, the joy of flight only lasts for so long, when you're heading somewhere time goes by way too fast when you have a task at hoof. I landed at her door and lifted my hoof to knock but I heard voices so I decided to hold my knock and eavesdrop.
"How could you just let them hurt me I thought you were a friend my only friend! The only pony who would be there for me!" I didnt recognize the stallions voice but if he was shouting at Shy' so help him....
"I'm sorry please forgive me!" Fluttershy didn't sound scared but I could feel the sadness in her voice.
"No I can never forgive you...YOURE JUST AS BAD AS THE REST OF THEM!!"
All that I could hear in the response of the stallions shouting was a weak whimper.
I couldnt listen no more I took my ear off of then door and backed up just a bit but before I could bust in,I heard more thuds and right before I could move out of the way the door flew open and hit me right in the muzzle. Anger.
I was stunned but I saw him look at me and mouthed a word out but I couldn't read his lips due to the fact my eyes were still spinning from the door slamming into my face. He spread his wings and in one mighty effort he took off into the sky, so fast so quick...as if he was going to leave this world as if he would transcend the sky and go farther. He was running from something and it couldn't of been Shy'. Who would run from such a kind and sweet mare.
Fluttershy ran out and reached out for him as if she could reach out and touch him..as if she could reach into the stars and pull him back to her....Fluttershy's eyes were filled with tears she sobbed heavily and her light wavered..so desperately for him to come back her usual soft pink with smooth rivers of light green rivers pouring into the body of pink was now a dull grey..nothing else just plain grey.
"S-Shy?" I still couldnt focus on her but she looked down at me her light then refocused itself and finally her eyes released the tears that she was holding back and I couldnt help but release my own.
She picked me up and held me and I held her too, it seemed to take forever but when we were finally ready we let each other go and headed inside her cottage.
. . .
"He calls himself Broken Star..but his true name is Bright Star" Fluttershy finally spoke after the several minuets of silence.
"Were you two close"
"I was his only friend he was always bullied as a child, he was beaten up laughed at...even his own parents abandoned him." She sobbed at the end of her own sentence.
Alone. I know that feeling all to well..but to live with it his whole life...that must wear away at his heart. I only have been aline for months now but..an entire lifetime of pain..how could he cope how is he still breathing..what keeps him going. I must end his suffering I have to help...but how.
"Were would he be now?"
"I have no idea.." She looked lost.
I could tell by her soft eyes she wanted to be with him to help him, to comfort him, to care for him.
"I'm sorry Shy'"
"Hm?"
"I left you with no warning what so ever you must of been worried sick or something."
"I wasn't worried that you left....I was worried that you left because I did something wrong....maybe I said something or did something that upset you." At this point she sniffled.
"Come on no more crying, and besides you couldn't ever do anything you're so kind....probably the best mare to be alive. You could never do anything wrong." I tried to be reassuring but she broke down into a delirious state of broken sobs and muffled breaths.
"I did do something wrong! I wasn't there for him! I just let them bully him. I let them beat him up, call him names, and even throw rocks through his windows! I was always watching but I could never help him I just let them hurt him! Let them break him! I couldn't help him I was to scared! Why couldn't I just speak up, hug him do anything to let him know that there was somepony who cared! He wouldn't of had to live his whole life being alone he could of been happy! I couldn't do anything I am just a big mess!" She opened her mouth to speak but I quickly hugged her trying anything I could to make her stop. I held her head to my chest stroking her mane as a mother would do to her colt or filly if they had a nightmare.
"Shhh..shhh...it all in the past Shy' all that matters now is we help him..or...no I must find him you just stay here and Incase he comes back. I will set things right and I promise you that the friendship you two had will be back to normal!" With that I let her go and set off towards the door but before I left Fluttershy whispered out.
"Thank you Ditzy."
Two words that mattered so much thank you..nopony ever appreciated anything I have ever done..It gave me hope..it gave me strength, and I WILL give Star this chance at a good life.
. . .
A problem needs to be repaired or fixed but what happens when that problem is broken..broken beyond repair unfixable..and cant be helped. What happens then?
. . .
"I need to find him I need to get to him. I have to I made a promise!" My own thoughts screamed in the back of my head as I flew towards his trail...his black, revolting trail of devastation...everything screamed against me. Every rational thought told me not to follow it...everything told me that in wont end good..every last part of me..but thats not possible because I still was following him. Maybe because I made a promise, maybe because I wanted to help, maybe because his loneliness reminded me of myself and it pushed me that much further. It might of even been all of these..I didn't know but I still followed the trail.
I could see his trail of light...no this wasn't light..this was darkness. I followed his darkness and I knew it was his I felt it, I cant explain but I know it is his. The trail went into the sky then took a sharp fall towards the ground, straight towards the Everfree. Great, just great.
I flew down and hovered above the treetops. I had to go down there, but oh how my body fought against me.
. . .
Finally my wings slowed there furious beats at the air and let me descend into the forest. I continued the hunt following his trail once again, but at a clearing in the forest the trail just stopped..I trot further into the clearing to see him...just laying there looking up at the dark night sky..it was filled with stars...but they seemed so insignificant to him..to here right now..everything seemed small compared to what is here..what is now.
"You cant help." His words weren't filled with anger...hate..sorrow...they were just there...but definite like an everlasting wall. As if, he has thought about himself for longer than his own existence.
"Everything can be helped." I wasn't close enough to look at his aura but there was a deep vibration resonating from the air at this distance from him. It shook me violently and I could feel the crack being formed into my own being..into my own soul. My eyes drifted opposite ways once again but it wasn't like the other times where as it was from a hit or a though it was from his very existence...Once again everything inside of me told me to run..to get away, to hide from this nightmare...only he was real and this wasn't a dream.
"Not things that are already broken."
"Come on lets go to Fluttershy she wants to apologies."
I blinked and he was no longer laying down where he was but now he stood maybe ten hooves away from me. His presence..this close..cant..think...STRAIGHT.
"HA HER SHE IS AS GOOD AS THE REST OF THOSE PONIES!!!" His words were destroying me and it wasn't because of his shouts or the meaning put behind these word but it is his PRESENCE! cant think straight.
"Usually anypony would have broken down into tears or ran..why are you different?" He placed his hoof upon me but I still couldnt look at him as if there was some sort of....thing that wouldn't let me..I knew he was there but my eyes kept staring at two different directions.
"Why..cant I...look." He cut me off.
"You cant look at me because I decided I don't want you to." He turned and trotted off into the distance my thoughts finally start to come back to me.
"I-I can help please let me!"
"You are afraid...why try to fix something that you think will hurt you?"
"I made a promise."
"That you can't keep!" He returned quickly as if he knew I was going to say those exact words.
"I can if you let me!"
"Nothing can help me."
I looked up at him but he was still too far from me to see his aura..my vision went blurry from the un welcomed tears that invaded my eyes. I wasn't afraid of him...but something in me was..yet I wasn't crying because of this. I was crying because deep down...I knew I wasn't going to be able to fix the forever broken pegasus that stood there in front of me...wait in front of me? When did he?
"Look at me...eyes to eyes,"
I look up into his eyes...his eyes! They were two different colors one completely black the other completely white. No pupils no iris...just the whole eye itself filled with black and white. I let out a gasp.
"You see..how can you fix a freak."
"You aren't a freak!" I hated that word!
"You're right."
What he agreed!?
"I am not a freak I am broken...how can you fix me when my whole life I was raised to be this...this thing...this nightmare!"
"I..I dont know!"
"You don't know because there is no answer, I am broken and will forever be until death." His words were complete. There was no helping him. I broke a promise. It was too late and I knew it.
"I wish I could of helped."
"Thanks but you were to late. Not that there was ever a chance." With his words finished I could see his aura now...it was black with crack of white streaming through him. The white was hope..It wasn't truth. It was nothingness, not empty but nothing.
"Its not to late." A last desperate attempt to help.
"You're a bad liar, you know."
"Yeah, I know." I sighed.
"Tell Shy' that I am gone, tell her that nothing can help, but also tell her I wish it could have been different..as for you..I can see your light." Before I could ask him or even take a breath he was gone. Just gone as if he. Blinked out of this world..or as if he fell through a crack that was there in existence...or as if he was never there to begin with.
I stood there waiting for something..anything, I was waiting for something amazing, but I knew I would of had to wait longer.
. . .
So, what happens when you cant fix something that is unfixable? You get nothing. Absolute nothing. I went to Fluttershy and explained she cried at first of course but I explained and told her what he asked me to. She just nodded and understood something that wasn't there.
Sometimes there are things...ponies..that were meant for something different. I may not be able to understand what it is but its is unstoppable its fate. I hope he is in a better place.
Nothing. Absolute. Finale. Complete. Done...maybe I cant comprehend it maybe thats why I call 'it' nothing.
It has been another week, surprisgly I havent founf anypony who needed some kind of help so today seemed as good as any to relax. Yeah thats what I need a day to relax. Now..how can I relax.
I walked towards nowhere specific, I just walked and kept thinking what could be relaxing for me? Maybe a day at the spa? No, too boring and muddy. Hanging out with Fluttershy? No, she was still in the mourning process of loosing her friend, I definatly didnt need any sad thoughts going through my head for today. Hmm....when was the last time I felt relaxed..and truly relaxed. Then it hit me..no I mean it literally hit me, to be specific it hit me right in the damn face, a tree, an apple tree.
The tree knocked me back into reality, I looked around and instantly knew were I was. Of course. I was at the Orchard and of course guess what stallion was out plowing the field right now.
I looked at the red hunk of stallion, his toned muscles on his back stretched and flexed as he pulled the plow through the field. His coat shimmered slightly from sweat and his mane was matted down with dirt. I instantly felt the heat start from my face. I flapped my wings and flew to him and hovered above him, apparently he had no idea I was there until the breeze from my wings started to hit his coat. He shivered.
"Why in tarnation is it so coo-" he stopped talking as he saw me his jaw hung open and he stood there dumbstruck. Honestly it was pretty cute in a manly way I guess.
"Hey there Big Mac." I smiled. He is the last time I truly felt relaxed. He was the last time I felt like I belonged with somepony.
"D-Ditzy!" He took off the harness connecting him to the plow then stood upon his hind legs and pulled me out of the air into he hug crushing my lungs.
"A-Air!" He let go and looked embarrassed...damn his coat but I knew he had to be blushing.
"Hi." I gave him a little wave and giggled but what happened next shocked me, he started to cry. No warning whatsoever, tears just happened, his aura was still his normal gold but this time there was a thin line..a thin crack of blue that ran from the edge of one side to the other side crossing through his heart.
"I-I-I am SO SORRY! I didn't want to hurt you but I couldn't let my family get hurt, there was a letter that said if we continued to hold you up here my family would be hurt! I just couldn't! Forgive me please I didn't wan-" I interrupted him with a kiss on his forehead and a gentle hoof on his shoulder.
"I understand, I know you didn't want anypony to get hurt so you did your best but I made my decision on my own, you didn't kick me out Mac."
His breathing slowed down and he seemed to be calming down a bit. Good.
"Now lets go somewhere cause I don't want to attract the attention to whoever wrote that note."
He looked at me and wiped his tears.
"We got another note...from the same pony."
"But I havent even been here lately..sorry I'll go I gue-"
He laughed and hugged me again crudhing my sides but maybe the lack of air was worth it this time.
"The note said that if you come back you can stay for as long as you want!" He squeezed me as he told me this. Ok now this was starting to hurt!
"C-cant!" He let go but his face was now pressed agaimst mine our lips meeting eachothers, I could feel the heat off of his face. I knew he was blushing! I didn't resist the kiss one bit, I let him kiss me and I kissed back...actually I was more like taking over. I had my hooves on his shoulders feeling his muscles that gathered beneath his coat. I lead with my mouth kissing him with all I could, I felt something prod against my lips and instantly my cheeks reddened. I pulled away from the kiss and took a deep breath and took his hoof guiding him to his barn in a quick gallop.
"Ditzy, I never knew you could be so raunchy." He gave me a sly grin and I gave him a quick wink.
We entered his barn and shut the door behind us. We stood there in the center if his bedroom for several minutes just looking at each other silently gathering up what we should do. My cheeks were burning hot, legs shook so slightly, my breaths were fast and shallow, even my eyes were having problems keeping aligned.
Big Mac looked as if he was going to pick me up and throw me onto his bed any second now but something in his aura told me he wanted to wait for a more appropriate time. that tease .
"How about we just cuddle again..like last time?"
"His aura flickered and shone bright I could no longer see the thin crack that corrupted his beauty.
"That would be perfect!"
He went over to his bed but I stopped him with my hoof.
"Whats wrong?" His deep voice caused the tips of my ears to vibrate slightly causing me to giggle a bit.
"You"re not going to bed all sweaty and covered in dirt like that now are you?"
His eyes widened a bit and he looked at his own body as if it were covered in something grotesque.
"O-oh,..uhh err umm."
"Its ok I see you just forgot go take a shower and come back alright?"
He nodded and quickly left his barn.
I smiled and sat upon his bed. It has been so long since I felt this comfortable this relaxed..this happy.
. . .
What seemed ages later, two minutes. I grew impatient, oh how I wanted to hold him again. A quick knock at the barn door and in came a certain blond maned earth pony that wore a blank expression on her face. She looked at me as if she knew I arrived.
"Look her Miss Doo!"
"How did you know my name?"
"Dont interrupt me, I don't know why you're here but if my family is harmed in anyway whatsoever and if it has even a small chance to do with you bein here than you better hope you're gone by then cuz imma find you, and it will not be pretty!"
"I know and I really don't wish to hurt anypony or get anypony hurt from me being here." I gave her a reassuring smile.
"I believe you but....please don't let harm come to the Apple family." I gave her a nod, she then simply left and Mac came in right as she exited the door.
He gave me a worried look and walked up to me. I gave him a hug and sniffed his coat.
"Ah thats more like it."
He neighed and muzzled me making my face heat up again.
"So I reckon we can-"
I was already on the bed before he could finish his sentence. I patted a spot beside me.
"Heh." Adorable how that a big strong stallion such as Big Mac could still get embarrassed like any other pony.
He sat on the edge of the bed.
"Oh no! Were not having any of that shy stuff going on here." I wrapped my arms and pulled him fully down on the bed. I then laid next to him and kissed his cheek. He put his hoof around me and gently pulled me close to him. I laid my head upon his chest and felt his deep slow breathing along with the beating of his heart. This is exactly what I needed...and still need. I don't want to leave and so help me I wont.
. . .
We laid there, holding one another every once in a while a quick kiss or muzzle session was in order but like everypony says when you are having a good time flies by fast.
"What time is it." Big Mac managed out as his eyes started to shut and struggle to reopen.
"I guess its time for sleep."
"I'd reckon you to be right."
"Have good dreams Mac."
He looked at me and yawned.
"With moments like these who needs dreams?"
I blushed and buried my face into his chest, shortly after I could feel his breathing slow and become steady. He was asleep, I shut my eyes and the calm night took me into a dreamless sleep.
Perfect. This is all I ever needed. Happy. He is the pony that will be there for me no matter what my problem is. Acceptance. He accepted me even when I looked like a broken freak. I love this stallion. Goodnight Big Mac.
Last night I slept next to Big Mac and didnt dream. Yet, I did have a dream onlynit wasnt a dream it was more like a memory- YES exactly ot was a memory but of what. Ugh these things are never easy. Remember. Remember. What was it? It was a pony, but it wasnt a pony. What was it than? You already know.
. . .
A certain red earth pony had his hoof around my waist keeping me close and warmer then what was needed. I didnt mind it felt good to be close to him. I kissed his cheek and began to nuzzle his chest. Im going to try and wake him up as gently as I can. I begin to nuzzle with more pressure. It would make perfect sense if Big Mac was a heavy sleeper, I mean with all that hard work he does out on the field...making himself sweat heh..and his muscles heh. *POMF* *SMACK*. My wings fully extended and slapped him across the face, he gave out a quick snort and woke up.
"Wh-what in tarnatio-" for once I could notice the obvious blush that burned underneath his entire face.
"Uh-uhhh....good morning?" I myself had a blush that would put a tomato to shame.
"Should I give ya some time?" I simply nodded.
He laughed a small bit then got up and left the room. Leaving me to me wingboner.
"Ugh dammit why did I have to be born a pegasus." THERE! That's what it was. It was a pony more specific..it was a Pegasus.
I think it about time I got some answers...who exactly was that pegasus. Hmmm. My wings dropped as I began to think hard. A spark a small tiny ember that could light a forest on fire. That was all I needed just give me that spark to remember. Please? I looked at my own two hooves. What can I do to find him?
"You all done in ther? Its been like ten minutes?"
Woah I didn't realize that it has been that long it felt like it has only been one minute.
"Oh yeah I'm done sorry about that I don't know what happened." I gave him a giggle which made him smile. Perfect.
"No problem, now I got to go out and work on the farm, gotta go buck some trees." He smiled and gave me a hug then turned away.
"You will be fine here?" Big Mac looked at me as he spoke.
"Actually, I meed to go into town today I need to go find out something." He had a concerned look on his face..
"Alright but be careful don't want no one hurtin mah precious flower." He left the barn
. . .
It was only a five minute flight to Ponyville. On my way there though...the more I tried to remember about who that Pegasus was the more my head hurt...yet, I kept thinking. Think. Think. My eyes crossed and my wings were no longer in my control. I was falling, falling, falling...it didn't matter I have taken higher falls it wouldn't hurt to bad just depends how I land..I pull my legs in to my body and prepare to hit the ground hard. This might actually hurt. I see the ground rushing towards me. Five . Big Mac...what would he think when I came home with a bunch of scrapes and bruises. Four . I might of underestimated my height and speed so this will hurt more then what I thought. Three . Will I be able to find that pegasus? Two. A tree...the library heh kinda funny I was heading there either way. One. I closed my eyes preparing for the pain.....Zero. .......Negative one. ....Negative two. ...hmm why haven't I hit the ground. I opened my eyes to see a certain purple alicorn. Her aura was purple heh funny just like her coat...but her aura had something more, there were sparkles that twinkled around the edges like some sort of shield of stars. They begged to be noticed...they were eager to see..eager to learn. Hmm.
"Uh..hi." I waved and smiled at her.
"Hi there Ditz- oh." She was looking straight into my eyes....I know that look..I have seen it so many times but now from Twilight? To think she said my eyes were pretty once.
"Thank for saving me and all but I need to get into the library I gotta find something out."
Her horn began to glow and a bright flash of white occurred...and just like that I was in the library.
"B-but we..we were just outside..a-and-" she interrupted me.
"A basic teleportation spell but now I have to ask, what happened to your eyes they are all...'derped'." She kinda held onto that last word there.
"That what I am here for, I wanna find out how and why."
"Sorry if I seem rude I'm just curious....I haven't seen anything like this at all it is some sort of medical mystery, oh! Have you been to the hospital?"
"Thats where I was when....when they told me my eyes would never be normal again..BUT I can make them look normal if I try!"
"Was it some sort of accident or did it just happen?"
"Sort of both."
"What do you mean."
. . .
About ten or fifteen minuets later of explaining she was looking around frantically in the library. She was hellbent on finding a book that could explain who or what that pegasus was.
"FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!!!" Ow..my ears.
She galloped up to me and help the book out with her magic she then blew the dust of of the cover.
"Now what is the name and author of this book that might help out as well." She began to turn it around in circles only to see there wasn't a name to the book or a name of an author.
"Huh? Maybe it on the inside of the cover." She cracked open the book and looked on both of the covers front and back, beginning and ending.
"There is nothing..."
"Then how do you know that is the right book?"
She shrugged "I just...knew."
She opened the book and held it up to where we both could see its contents. I gasped the words were shifting and moving not slowing and not constant some words danced around others dragged themselves across the page while others zipped to the ends of the pages.
"Woah."
"What why is the book empty!? What kind of book is this?!" Twilight was beginning to become flustered.
"What? You're telling me you cant see the words!"
"What words?!...wait can you see them?" The purple in her aura began to fade and now the sparkles were becoming more prominent.
And here I thought I wouldn't have to help another pony...I thought I was done...oh well!
"Yes, but Twilight..I need to ask you something."
"O-oh, ok then."
"Do you ever think for yourself?"
"Wh-what!?" Her words were a blend of anger and questioning.
"Books cant solve everything you know." She took a step back from me.
"Seriously though. Think for yourself for once maybe you wont need to rely on books all the time!"
"But books teach they have the answers!"
"TO QUESTIONS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH KNOWLEDGE!, do you really think everything has to make sense? That everything can be solved with a book?"
"YOURE ONE TO TALK, WHY ARE YOU HERE HUH?" She would have gotten me there but I was already ahead of her.
"Because, I don't make sense." She looked at me.
"Is there a book out there that explains why my eyes are like they are? If there is please show me I want to know why I am like this! I wanna know why I had to live months of my life being a freak!"
"I-I don't know!"
"Then tell me why I have gotten over it, explain what makes me strong enough to push out the words and abuse from all the ponies who have ever hurt me! Use a book to solve that answer!" She sits there thinking...no bad. Don't think
"Stop trying to think about everything sometimes things wont make sense and never will we just have to accept them! Even me with my eyes!" I realize that now. I just have to accept what I am now. I go to the door open it and leave. A white glow follows me out the door for a moment, I shut the door knowing she is ok.
. . .
I was at the barn now, I just have to accept that I may not ever find out but hey, at least...no this wasn't a least I have Mac..if it wasn't for the accident then I wouldn't have been this close to Mac..maybe I wouldn't of even known him. That pegasus may have destroyed my old life...but damn did he make my new one a hay of a lot better. I smiled.
"Thanks for everything."
(First person)
Her color pink with swirls of blue strands slowly moving through her so calming so peaceful I still don't understand what the light thing means but i know for sure its because of that pegasus that hit me out of the sky.
. . .
My Life changed forever, it's not fair I didn't do anything wrong...did I? It doesn't matter its my life now I shall take it by the horn and conquer it...I hope.
I have been living in Fluttershy's home as her roommate. I have to say I am grateful that she understands what is like to be different then the other ponies. She has kept me comfort for a week but i think today is the day I need to get out and accept my reality.
I walked out of the cottage the sun hits my mane and body filling me with warmth, something I haven't felt in weeks looks like this is going to work after all. I looked out to Ponyville and began to trot there I don't fill like flying not yet I cant not after the accident it may take time for me to get the courage to fly but not today.
As I walked to the town I saw a streak of a rainbow blur.
"Oh no please don't see me please" I already knew who it was the pegasus that always challenges me to something that has to do with flying, i mean yeah she always beats me but today I'm not up for flying she will understand right?....right?
"Hey there Ditzy!" The rainbow maned mare flew down to greet me
Of course nopony could avoid Rainbow Dash when she saw something she noticed. Her color was orange with multi colored dots of the rainbow sprinkled into the aura...wait aura did I really just think of that word I never used that word or heard it but I understand its meaning....why is she looking at me oh wait I'm suppose to say something
"Uh h-hi dash" nailed it!
"Woah whats up with your eyes, one is looking me in the eye the other like staring at the ground".
I notice I was looking at the ground as well as her I lower my head looking down with both eyes my vision get blurry.
"Hey no I didn't mean to hurt your feelings I'm sorry Ditzy please don't cry, hey why don't we just uh...a game! Yeah lets race through the air that should get your mind off of whatever the problem is".
Tears fell from my face and I just turned away and ran back to Fluttershy's cottage,
. . .
Looks like Im not going out today after all.
I don't know where I'm going to go but i cant stay here ponies will make fun if shy' for having me in her home i just know it that's how ponies are judging cruel mean careless things in existence. No one will keep me but where will i go...where to go...