Double Dragon: Rainbow Initiative

Alright! After destroying a public bench and drinking a whole two liter bottle of pop, our heroes were back in tip top shape and ready to go ballistic on the next fool’s heiny. Too bad for them that they just so happened to use the level select code to skip ahead to Canterlot. Tales of their deeds of whooping butt back in Ponyville had spread fast, and the only ones left in the streets were the many guards who formed a nice line to the castle. Funky fresh scores of armored horses were definitely more apt to make this a battle of brotastic proportions. Too bad they won’t be there for long!

Billy and Jimmy ran straight into the crowd, knocking all these cops flat like a steamroller and leaving behind a trail of busted chops and bruised gonads. The fist-on-hoof action was too much, and too bad for those freakazoids. Their fingerless appendages were no match for the might of grade-A American muscle. The ones who were still standing way back at the far right of the street saw the carnage belting its way towards them.

But they knew their mission. “Alright, don’t let them enter the castle! Stop them by any means necessary! Get ready to charge!” Ordered Shining Armor, the captain of the royal guard.

One underling had second thoughts. “Um, sir. We have spears.”

“Your point?”

“We have spears.”

“Oh, right. Good job. Alright everypony, spears at the ready!” Upon command, the last line of defense chucked their weapons right at Billy and Jimmy whilst they were in the middle of playing a mad air guitar riff upon the bodies of unconscious foes. The spears interrupted right at the climax where they lifted their invisible axes to the heavens and made those Lees a whole lot more hole-ier. They fell upon the cobbled streets swiftly and remained there, deathly still. Even their corpses exuded a radiance of awesome.

The line of defense advanced to aid their fallen brethren, but first they were obliged to ensure that the two walking factories of hip hop were truly as dead as disco. The last line of defense in the royal Canterlot guard gathered around the two bodies. Some removed their lame helmets in a sign of respect whilst others experienced thoughts of how to desecrate their bodies. Then something happened, something that shocked all those nutbars. The bodies began to flicker and then vanished, as in totally disappeared, and left the spears that resided in them to fall upon the road.

The guards were all literally head-to-head trying to look at and see if the brotacular duo simply fell through the road. Bad move. Those losers soon got their comeuppance when the Lees popped from thin air and simultaneously delivered two rocking spin kicks that immediately knocked everypony near them out like an explosion of shear attitude! Only one pony remained: Shining Armor.

“In the name of Equestria I want you both to surrender and come quietly! There’s no need for more fighting.”

Normally the police would never stand a chance and would receive a brutal blow to the nards before their eyes would be set upon the fleeing Lee boys, but this time was different.

“Wait, Equestria? Did we go the wrong way? We’re trying to find the Shadow Boss!”

“The Shadow Boss? Do you mean Princess Luna?” Shining Armor pointed with his hoof at the turret of the castle where the princess of the night stayed.

Jimmy stated “Alright! That’s where she’s gotta be!” And he began his journey to the castle.
Shining Armor made the biggest mistake of his life and got right in Jimmy’s way. “Halt! I can’t allow you to go up there. I have a duty to protect the princesses. If that means I have to defeat you, then I will.” Shining Armor braced himself and got ready to launch at the man in front of him. The one man. When there was originally two. Turns out the other one was right behind him. Although he only found this out when, as of that moment, Billy cracked him across the head with a spear, snapping the weapon in two and knocking out the captain of the guard.

Now without any impediments, the Lee boys took their striving steps to the right to the castle of the night. If there is anything to learn from history about castles though, it’s that they probably should pack some fish bowls on their heads because it’s probably going to launch into space.