Author's Note

Hey-yo! I know It's been a while, a whopping... TWO MONTHS! Holy shit! Damn you college and porn! You're ruining my speedy updates!

Either way, here you go. Another chapter in the adventures of Peter Williams. Read, enjoy, critique!

{Edit as of 12/10/2014} With Christmas break finally here and Exams over, I can finally sit down and focus on the next chapter. I made a few edits to this one, namely the battle. I noticed a few mentions of how the pan and knife kind of disappeared after Peter takes off, so I incorporated those into the story, as well as some minor edits for grammar. Nothing plot-changing, I assure you, but if you want to re-read and get refreshed as to THE STORY THUS FAR, feel free. I'll try to have the next chapter ready by the end of the week {12/13/2014}, but no promises. I've been playing Dragon Age Inquisition and that shit is addicting.

Chapter 12

Derpy Hooves

We left Sweet Apple Acres after Peter was well enough to walk. Apple Jack was thankful for Peter's help and promised to return the favor whenever possible. We waved goodbye as we left the orchards, receiving waves in return from the Apples. Even some of the humans had seen us off, but they didn't wave, just stood there, staring neutrally as always. Peter was tired, but unhurt after the timberwolf attack, so we quickly made our way home where he promptly flopped down on the sofa.

"I'll go to the party tonight, will you be okay here, Peter?" I asked. The only response I got in return was a gentle wave in the air, which quickly flopped back down. It wasn't quite weak, just tired. I turned to my daughter, who had made the trek back in relative silence. I the attack had really scared her, but she continually asserted that she was fine. I decided to let her sleep on it and see how she felt in the morning. "Now Dinky, I need you to stay at home and watch over Peter, alright? I'll try to be home soon, but you know how Pinkie Pie can be. Can you hold down the fort until I get back?"

Dinkie nodded and made her way to the side of the couch with a determined march and sat down. It seemed my little muffin was going to make sure she tried to repay Peter by standing watch. I smiled at her loyalty.

"Okay, muffin. There are leftovers in the fridge in case you get hungry, and I'll make sure to bring some of the party cake home for us to eat together." Dinky's serious visage cracked into an open smile when I mentioned the prospect of cake. She gave a short "wohoo!", supported by a weak fist pump by Peter. I gave a small chuckle as I turned out the door. Kids, young and old.

The walk to Pinkie's was made in the dwindling daylight, with most ponies preparing their evening rituals. My brief walk led me to Sugarcube Corner, where something peculiar seemed to be occurring. That something just happened to be... nothing. Despite Pinkie's assurance there was a party going on tonight, there were none of the typical symptoms of even a Pinkie Pie-orchestrated get-together. No crowds of ponies, no lively music to be heard, and no big, colorful banners. there wasn't even any confetti on the doorstep. The only evidence of any other than ordinary events going on that night was an increase in the number of shadows in the windows of the candy themed building, hinting at more than the usual three ponies and two infants that lived there.

I entered the doorway to a similarly subdued atmosphere. Usually Pinkie went all out every time she celebrated, but the building had the most subdued decorations I had ever seen out of Ponyville's Premier Party Pony. Some streamers and banners had been put up, a few balloons, and a small gramophone softly played a cheery tune in the corner. The only thing that looked like it came from Pinkie was the huge cake sitting on the table,so large and sweet the wood bent a little in the center. Ponies I identified as close friends and co workers were in the room, but none of the big crowds of townsponies that usually occupied such parties.

Before I could observe more, though, my vision was obscured by a sizable pink mass of hair and bubbly excitement. "Hey Derpy!" Pinkie greeted me in her usual, overexcited fashion. "I was wondering when you'd get here! This whole party is for your human and you! It's so super-duper-fantastic that you got one of your own! They can so helpful and strong and 'HANDY'," she giggled at her own joke, "Even the Cakes had one for a little while, but Mr. Cake got rid of him awhile ago. I don't know why, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake didn't talk to each other for the longest time until I threw them a make-up party." Pinkie looked around me for a moment before returning to ask, "Say, where is your human? Did he already get inside without me seeing him? *Gasp!* Is he a ninja human?! I'll find him no prob-"

"-Actually, Peter couldn't make it." I had to interject before Pinkie started thinking more wild things about Peter. This gained the pink pony's attention quickly. "We had an incident at Sweet Apple Acres, and Peter is resting back at home." Pinkie seemed to deflate a little at the news, looking a bit somber.

"Aww. Is he okay?"

"Yes, thankfully. He's just a bit tired, so he's staying home with Dinky tonight." Pinkie smiled softly at my words and trotted with me into the building.

"Well that's too bad. I really aimed this party just for him." She said, causing me to pause for a moment.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Well, he's not a fan of super huge parties like us, so I tried to make his 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' more on the small side. It was really hard because I kept getting all kinds of great ideas, but I would have needed to invite more ponies and a D.J., and I would have had to find a sousaphone, and those are suuuper hard to come by, but I supposed I could have substituted with a tuba, even if the sound was a teensy bit off-"

"Pinkie!" I had to interrupt the pink pony again, "What do you mean the party was for him? I thought it was celebrating me getting a human."

"Oh, originally it was, but then my Pinkie sense started going crazy to tell me a new pony was in town, but a little off. So I went ALL over Ponyville trying to find the new pony so I could throw them a party, but I couldn't find them, so I had to go back to my original plan for your party. When I went to your house though, I met your human and my Pinkie sense went absolutely bonkers! After I talked at him for a while I realized he was the new pony in town! He nodded and seemed to understand when I was telling him about my tries at parties for other humans, so I decided to combine both of them! At first it was going to be a super big extravaganza, but then my Pinkie sense told me that wasn't any good, and that Peter would want a much smaller get together more like Cranky Donkey. He isn't ready for a real Pinkie Party, he needed to get there slowly. Twilight calls it 'acclimatisation' or something, but I was just excited I would get to throw even more parties to get him up to Ponyville Party snuff!"

I blinked in confusion, waiting for my eyes to realign after the had separated during Pinkie's talking. "S-so... You know? About Peter's... Circumstances?" I asked hesitantly. With a pony as unpredictable as Pinkie Pie, who knows what she would do with the fact that Peter was an alien... other than throw a nice party.

Pinkie's head tilted to the side, "Which ones are that? I just knew he would enjoy my party! My Pinkie sense is never wrong!" I briefly considered trying to explain what I was talking about, but knowing Pinkie it would only lead to a more confusing conversation. I just patted the pink mare on the shoulder and said I appreciated the party. She smiled and trotted away, promising to make it up to Peter. I could only smile and shake my head at Pinkie's overwhelming optimism. With that conversation done I entered the party fully and began to mingle with my friends.

"Derpy, there you are!" I heard Rarity's voice say from across the room. I gasped as I saw who she was with. Princess Twilight Sparkle had come to the party, sans royal regalia, and was smiling at me cheerfully. A small part of me panicked a little. I still had no Idea on how to approach the topic. What would I say? "Hey princess, I have a super intelligent human from another planet, and he wants to meet you!" That could only end in a number of ways, most of them bad. I slowly inched over to the pair, trying to find a way out of the confrontation, but without the usual bustling ponies of Pinkie's parties, none stood out.

Finally I stood before them, Twilight's smile seeming a little forced after having to wait for my slow trot. I gave a nervous chuckle before speaking, "G-good evening your highness, Rarity. How's is going?"

"Come on, Derpy," the princess said, "I know I've asked you not to call me that." She had. At one of the last town hall meetings she had specifically requested not to be addressed by her by her title outside of formal occasions, but It was hard not to. It wasn't like I could just ignore her wings, they were almost as big as mine! She even looked taller since she took the throne. It felt weird, rude even not to call her by her title. "Still" she continued, "It is good to see you. I don't think I've really seen you much since the Equestria Games tryouts! How have you been?"

"I... uh... I've been good, thanks... Twilight." I mumbled her name, feeling irreverent for dropping the title.

"I was just telling Twilight about my encounter with your new human!" Rarity said, "Such an interesting person!" I suddenly felt my panic return. I hadn't expected Rarity to have blown the lid so quickly, but I suppose Peter must have expressed the want to meet with Princess Twilight as soon as possible.

"Yes" the alicorn inferred, "She said he was a human I'd just have to meet, but she has remained a bit tight lipped about why I'd want to meet with some human, no offense Derpy." She cast a playfully accusing glare at Rarity, who only fluttered her eyebrows in response.

"I told you my dear, he is a distinctly unique human, it would be too unbelievable if I told you everything now!" the unicorn finished, placing a hoof dramatically to her forehead.

Princess Twilight looked at me, "Is this true Derpy? Or is Rarity just trying to pull my leg?" She had on a wry smirk, as if suspecting Rarity and I to be conspiring to fool her. I could only nod my head in confirmation. I had no idea what to say. Fortunately, Rarity seemed to be prepared to take command of the conversation.

"I assure you Twilight, this particular human is just sure to get your attention."

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Oh, fine. I'll make a spot tomorrow afternoon. I was just going to be looking over old obsolete laws anyway. Come by at about three, and I'll see your human, and whatever clothes Rarity has made for him." She was still skeptical of the whole thing, with good reason. It was a lot to swallow, and she didn't even have the whole story!

Rarity put a hoof on twilight's shoulder, "Yes dear, after looking over the samples I had, I determined I would be able to get a prototype done by tomorrow! I already have the shirt and coat finished, though I am struggling a little with the trousers. Once I manage to get it down, though, I think I could transfer the concept into a pony variant. The possibilities! I could open a new branch fashion! I'm so excited!" Rarity was clearly inspired by Peter's clothing choices, so with a thanks and polite farewell I took my leave to mingle with a few other party goers before heading home to my daughter and friend. After looking around I decided to go talk to Apple Jack, who had just arrived, while my mind idled in wondering if Pinkie had slipped into the kitchen or upstairs for a bit...

Dinky Hooves

Frantic knocking at the door woke me up from my sleep. I groaned and looked up to see I had fallen asleep on top of Mr. Williams. He groaned as well and tried to get up, so I hopped down quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed me. I was supposed to be watching over him, but I fell asleep instead. That was so embarrassing. The knocking seemed to be getting faster, so Mr. Williams and I quickly went to the door. As soon as we opened it I knew something was wrong.

"Ms. Fluttershy! What's wrong!?" I cried. Se was panting a heaving from running, and had sweat matting her fur. She looked at Mr. Williams for a moment before locking eyes on me.

"Dinky! *Huff* Rainbow *Puff* Dash *Cough* Hurt *Gasp* Forest *Wheeze* Manticore *Huff* Help *Huff*" With the last huff Ms. Fluttershy leaned over onto the door frame. At the name 'manticore' I had a brief flashback of Mr. Williams and I's sprint through the forest. I shuddered a bit before Ms. Fluttershy managed to get her breath. "Dinky where's your mother?"

"She's out at a party, it's just me and Mr. Williams here." I gestured to the human next to me. I didn't know what to do. We needed to get help! "Who can we contact!?" I asked.

"I... I don't know." Fluttershy responded, "Rainbow needs help right now! She was hiding in a tree, but it's only a matter of time before the manticore finds her. Ooh, what to do, what to do!"

I was about to respond before I heard a tired sigh. Mr Williams walked away from the door into the kitchen briefly before returning armed with a frying pan and carving knife. He pointed his arm toward town, in the direction momma left in, then mimed out running. He wanted me to tell somepony! He tied his robe up around his knees before nodding to Ms. Fluttershy before jogging towards the Everfree Forest. I stared out for a moment, mouth gaping. He had JUST earlier fought off a group of Timberwolves, and now he was charging off to fight a manticore! I didn't know if he was crazy or awesome! Still, he would definitely need help.

"Ms. Fluttershy, Would you please go with Mr Williams and make sure he doesn't get hurt? I'll go into town and get more help!" I cried at her.

Ms. Fluttershy nodded, "Oh yes, of course! Thank you so much Dinky! Please get help!" With that she left, running toward the forest at top speed to catch up with Mr. Williams. I turned and started running to town. I was searching for somepony, anypony to help, but it was the evening already, so most ponies were already in their homes. I turned a corner and saw Ms. Pie trotting down the way with a pie on her back. Usually I'd appreciate the Pie carrying pie joke, but I was in a hurry!

"MS. PIE! HELP!" I galloped up to her.

"Ohh, hey Dinky! I was just coming over to your house to deliver this treat for Peter, you know since he was too bushed to come to the-"

"Not Now Ms Pie! Rainbow Dash is in big trouble!" I was forced to interrupt her.

She gasped, "Oh no! Where is she?!"

"She's been attacked by a manticore! Peter and Ms. Fluttershy already went to help, their in the Everfree Forest!!" I pulled her in the direction I saw Perter run off in.

"Manticore!? Lets go!" Ms. Pie put me on her back and we bolted off toward the forest.

Peter Williams

Well that went to hell faster than I thought.

The first thing that happened when we came upon the clearing was hear a tremendous roar. 'Fluttershy' immediately jumped into a bush, and I would have joined her had I not shrieked like a totally manly-man and immediately dodged in the opposite direction in avoidance of an over sized scorpion stinger. I tried to use my trusty frying pan to block it, but it was suddenly pierced by the stinger. I'll admit, I was surprised, more so when the cooking utensil was pulled away from me and flung into the forest beyond. The stinger swerves away from me and I look at my foe. The same sort of beast that chased me from the forest the first time stands before me. I always knew lions were deadly, but this is ridiculous! Lion body, scorpion tail, and leathery bat wings for flight, what evolutionary dirt road did this guy drive drunkenly down? I ran strafed the beast, trying to explore my environment while keeping my eyes on my foe. The chimera prepared for an undoubtedly deadly pounce when a sudden rush of blue bounced off the top of it.

"Keep away from my friends, ya over grown kitten!" I looked up to whom I could only assume was 'Rainbow Dash' due to her prismatic hair. She hovered in the air, as I had seen many winged pony do since I got here, for a moment, then suddenly tensed and fell into a bush. "Ow! Stupid wing!"

The manticore was distracted for the moment, so I capitalized on the opportunity and charged with my knife. With a mighty pounce I drove the dagger home...

Only for the damned thing to snap on the taught, leathery hide. The beast turned back at me, lumbering over my suddenly minuscule frame as one thought ran through my head: This is how I'm going to die... Fortunately it would not come to pass as my new ally hurled a stone at the beast's eye. She managed to clock him good, making him sharply swivel around, knocking me back into the brush. I searched frantically for a potential weapon. After agonizing seconds of fumbling in the underbrush, I found myself a sizable stick that looked fresh enough to handle a few blows. I found myself wanting that cooking knife back, I could have used it to sharpen the point. I looked up and surveyed the scene. The monster was skulking up to a hollow log with traces of rainbow hairs spilling out. I planned my movement, crouched and...

SPRINT!

As I bolted across the clearing I gave my stick a mighty swing, smacking the beast on the calf. It roared in pain and swiped at me, only to touch the air I occupied moments before. It prepared to give chase to me, but was struck once more by the cyan pegasus. This pattern repeated itself for a good ten minuets before I began to feel the strain. Every pass started getting slower, with only the threat of a horrifying death pushing me to keep up my strength. We had done no damage to the beast, only pissed it off. We seemed to only be delaying the inevitable, and it seemed hopeless when my stick snapped across the bastard's stinger. Then the pink one showed up. I had just finished a run, letting by back absorb my landing against a tree when her head popped from the brush, Dinky atop her like some Napoleonic commander.

"Heya Peter! We're here to help! And I brought you a treat!" She said loudly. Too loudly. Rainbow conducted her pass, but the manticore was now focused on the bright pink prey that had foolishly entered his war zone. It growled and prepared to pounce upon the us. Pinkie whimpered apologetically and Dinky cried out.

I would make a terrible father. I always panic at the sound of crying or frightened children, regardless of who's they are. I've always been that way, and so when Dinky cried out, I reacted. As the great beast pounced with a mighty war cry I responded with one of my own, grabbing whatever was closest and hurling it at the monstrosity of nature.

Everyone present paused to process the view of the pie that had landed squarely on the manticore's face. The tin slowly slid off of it's maw, splattering upon the ground. Even he seemed to pause in shock at the absurdity of the situation. A long wet tongue pierced the white cream of the pie topping and lapped the sweet substance from it's lips. It then leaned down to apparently eat the rest of it, momentarily forgetting the test of us. Of the five of us, Rainbow dash was the first to recover.

"Let's go!" She cried, with swift acknowledgements. Almost as an after thought I ran over to a shivering bush and retrieved Fluttershy, who said nothing. Despite my exhaustion, I sprinted with the rest of the group to the edge of the forest, though I couldn't shake the sneaking suspicion I was being watched. We all breathed easier, though heavier, once we had cleared the treeline. Rainbow took stock of us.

"Everybody okay?" She asked. I gave a nod, though I don't think she noticed.

"Yupperuni!" Pinkie chirped, "That was super scary! It's a good thing Mr. Williams here was quick on the throw!"

"Mr. Williams!" Dinkie cried out, "You're bleeding!" What? I feel- Oh. My tunic-robe seems to be soaking up blood. That's not good at all. I can't feel any pain or wounds, so either I'm going into shock or...

I quickly put the pegasus on the ground, earning only a weak 'meep'. I saw it. A gash, not to deep, but enough to bleed. I tried to think of when it could have happened. She wasn't even in the fight except for when we first got there and we had to dodge the manticore's stinger.

Shit. She's poisoned. It didn't take long before the others came to this conclusion.

"What do we do Dashie!?" Pinkie cried, "She needs help quick!"

"I-I think she has some manticore antidote in her cottage, let's get some there!" The cyan pegasus darted off in the direction I assume we were supposed to go. I responded quickly, using a piece of my clothes to make-shift a bandage up the wounded pony, picking her up, and jogging after the prismatic contrail, Pinkie and Dinky tagging along with. Thankfully it wasn't far off from where we were, but afterwards I felt bore beat than I had in my entire life. It was a quaint little cottage, homey and welcoming like you might see in a Disney movie or something. I wasn't concerned about that, though, as when I entered to the sounds of Rainbow's frantic searching in I guess the kitchen, I gently plopped the yellow pegasus down and walked back outside. Pinkie and Dinkie stayed inside to look after their friend, but I felt sick.

I was never much of a runner, and I would guess I just ran two miles, fought an unholy hell spawn, then ran another two with fifty extra pounds on my chest. Ponies were surprisingly light. I dry heaved into a shrub for a few minuets before I was disturbed by the snap of a twig. My senses still on hyper alert, I snapped up to see a group of bipedal beings running and hopping back into the brush. My eyes strained to identify them, but they were gone before I could get my focus. What I did see was a wooden bowl of greenish grey goop. I suspiciously took the bowl back inside, where the pandemonium grew.

"I can't find it! Where is it!" Rainbow frantically ran around. She apparently worsened her wing in her sudden sprint.

"I-I don't know!" Pinkie responded, poking into every nook and cranny of the building, "What does it look like?"

Rainbow looked at me as I entered the room. "I-it looks like... THAT!" She zipped across to me, almost making me spill the apparently valued liquid. "Where did you find that!?" Her raspy voice demanded as she took the bowl from my hands like it contained the waters of life. With no writing utensils I was forced to rely on my amazing charade skills. I think I got most of my point across as Rainbow gently spread the gooey substance on Fluttershy's wound. The results were rapid, as the yellow pony seemed to return from the verge of death in seconds. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"Oh- oh my." Fluttershy whispered. "Thank you everyone. I feel much better."

"Oh Fluttershy, thank goodness! We thought you were a goner!" Pinkie exclaimed, hugging her friend gently.

"B-but where did you get the anti venom? I ran out helping some of my deer friends." Fluttershy was pointed towards me.

"It was Peter! He just came in with a bowl of the stuff. Then he did a funny little dance, but who knows what that could mean?" Thanks Pinkie. Just when I thought I was starting to get some communication going.

"The human? Oh, I see. Well, thank you, Peter." Flutttershy's whisper sounded exhausted. I could imagine. I gave the pegasus a gentlemanly bow, causing the pegasus to blush a bit. We said our goodbyes, Rainbow promised to stay the night to watch over Fluttershy, and made our way home. The trek back took what little of my strength remained, and when we got back Pinkie and Dinkie took to explaining to Derpy why I was dirty and covered in blood while I collapsed upon the couch, immediately embracing sleep.

This had better not become a regular thing...