Author's Note

So... I'm kinda late here gents, but in my defense I have a very obvious and terrible track record for writing schedules. I've also ended on a bit of a cliffhanger as well, because I didn't want to make you wait any longer. Be free to point out any bits that read wonky, I know there's a few that I had trouble making sound right.

Dark Greetings

"Alright, come along little humans, you're in for a treat today!" Came the voice of cheery little dull red and brown stallion in white robes, small enough that I wasn't quite sure if he was an adult yet or not.

The humans seemed to get the gist of what he meant and began following him while I was gathering my wits. I'd done some boring stuff in my life, but watching this group had sent me to sleep, even in my slouched position against the hard wall. Moving quickly, I catch back up to the herd, wondering what this was all about. So far it was nothing but meandering through the decadent halls, all sculptures and tapestries. It was a labyrinth, and we took turns seemingly at random, but eventually we came across another door that looked identical to the dozens we'd passed. Opening the door, the kid waved us in.

The room, now fairly packed with humans, had a few unicorns on a dais were against the back wall, all of them wearing golden robes. As the humans settled down, their horns began to light up, and a strange blue fog rolled down to fill the room. Realizing that breathing it in was probably a bad idea, I took a deep breathe before it reached me. It tingled as it touched my skin, but I didn't particularly feel different, and I was glad that after about thirty seconds it all dissipated. The nap had saved my skin, most of the other humans had been covered for well over a minute and my lungs wouldn't have been able to manage it. At this point the humans seemed to have become fixed on the main figure up front, a mare with a white coat and golden mane to match her robes.

"Loyal priestesses of The Order of the Sun, there have been murmurs that there is an enemy within our borders! One of the cursed Lunar Guard is sticking her noise where it doesn't belong, scour the streets and learn what you can so that we may foil the heretics plans!"

With that, the door was opened and the humans walked out, no longer bumbling about, now with a focused intensity. I don't know a lot about many things, but I think I just found High Arch. And learned she was the head of a cult that did weird brainwashing things to humans. The group was making its way through the twists and turns when we started passing doors with names on them. With a quick look around, I made sure no one was watching and slipped inside the nearest door. Definitely a dormitory of some sort, there was a pair of beds, desks, and a walk in closet beside a closed door that I assume is a bathroom. Everything inside looked rather cheap considering the entire building, including the interior walls, seemed to be made of marble.

Now that I was here I was at bit of a loss. Following the humans out of the building risked not being able to get back in, which was unacceptable, but now I had no idea how to proceed. Hopping onto one of the perfectly made beds, I wracked my brain trying to figure the puzzle out. Then again, maybe my hive-mind-link thing hadn't been severed earlier. ROSE! YOU LOOSE-LIPPED CHARLATAN! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!

There, now all I had to do was wait for the little buggy to show up and help me out again. Ten minutes later with no bug in sight, it became apparent the link was either short-range or on a timer. Neither were particularly helpful, but lazing around in someone else's room wasn't going to get anything done either. Getting up from the surprisingly comfy bed, I made my way out and began to wander, doing my best to look like one of their humans who was just lost, or something. It's really hard to figure out what you're supposed to pretend to be doing without any real guidance, and the last time I'd asked I got the response of 'human things'.

I didn't even bother trying to actually find what I wanted, there weren't any markings of any kind to indicate what was where, so I just got lost in the labyrinth. One door I came across revealed a bathroom, and another was just a janitor's closet of all things. Maybe you had to have an amulet or something to actually navigate the place, because the two doors had been identical. About thirty doors later I opened a door and found a pair of ponies cuddling on a bed. We looked at each other for a second, blinking, before I calmly shut the door and went on my way. Maybe opening doors at random wasn't such a good idea, after all. Plan B, in this case, was to attempt to find a door that didn't match the rest, effectively turning this into Eye-Spy: Extra Hard Maze Edition.

Several hours later and not single clue if I'd been walking in circles or not, I was about ready to give up when the smell of fresh bread caught my nose. The delicious scent led me a mess hall of some sort, and the kitchens which were definitely more important at this point. The kitchen looked like it had been lifted from a school cafeteria, with extra large appliances and huge bags of ingredients lying about. Manning the oven at the back was one of the smaller earth ponies I'd ever seen, yellow and green with what appeared to be a loaf of bread and a mushroom on his ass. And pony hearing, because his ears swiveled back as soon as I'd taken my third step.

"What are you doing in here sport? You should be out with your friends having fun!" My stomach rumbled and I'm pretty sure I heard some glasses clink against each other. The pony, on the other hand, gave a huge laugh, the kind that makes its way up from your belly. "Well that answers that, come over here and I'll let you have some of the scraps."

Well, I wasn't about to let free food pass, especially free food that smelled like this. Making my way over to him, I sat down and begin to nibble on the misshapen clumps he passed to me. He went on working, occasionally passing me 'unsatisfactory' pieces and humming a cheery tune. The hour passed surprising quick, and once everything was done and laid out my benefactor began to munch on his own lunch, which appeared to be some kind of mushroom sandwich. Scooting over, I started petting his mane as a payment for the delicious food.

"You're a weird one, aren't ya?" The chef asked as he raised an eyebrow in my direction. I didn't answer him, and he didn't expect me to, so he finished his food before beginning to motion towards the door. "Alright, git. I can't have you back here when the rush starts. Shoo."

Having worn out my welcome, I head towards the door and start the process again. More identical hallways. Yay. It took me a total of five minutes to get completely lost this time, setting myself a new personal record. But that didn't last for long as I turned a corner and found a staircase, which lead to the age old question of up or down? Without any real knowledge I went down into the basement, because any cult worth it's salt keeps the evil stuff in the basement, or at least that's how it worked on Earth.

Making my way down the stairs, the normal glowing gems they used upstairs to light the place was replaced by some good old-fashioned iron braziers and the walls changed from marble to some kind of boring grey stone. The last step put me in a room with four doors, one on each wall, decorated with a different animal. Serpent, Lion, Lamb, or Wolf were the choices. There was probably some deeper meaning behind the choices, but I was biased due to having a pet timber wolf back home, so no thought was really need.

After going in, the door slammed shut and clicked, making the only way forward. With a path so plainly laid out, marching was the order of the day. Keeping a wary eye out for traps, I strode through the twisting corridors without a door in sight to break up the monotony of it all. The twenty minute walk, while slightly nerve wracking, turned out to be peaceful, without so much as a pitfall. The path finally ended in a decent sized cavern, complete with an underground pond with a tiny island in the middle. The setup seemed awfully familiar, and bad, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Instead, I poked the water with my foot, to see if eldritch abominations were going to come and get me. Fortunately the only thing that happened is a few fish darted away from the disturbance. Unfortunately, the only way to the island was to swim, and the obsidian pedestal had something shiny on it that promised to be worth it.

Considering my luck so far, I figured it'd hold just long enough to get there, so with everything but my boxers on the cave floor, I dove in. The chill went straight to my bones, feeling like someone had replaced my blood with liquid nitrogen. With a chattering that bounced off the stone walls, the island was within arm's reach. The prize for this little venture turned out to be an onyx figurine in the shape of a wolf. Or, at least I thought it was onyx, but it felt a little heavy for me to be sure. The figurine was perfectly detailed, down to individual hairs on the beasts coat. Leaning against the obsidian, I began to run my hands over the statue, trying to decipher if it was perfectly crafted, magical, or both. The black cloud that started to swirl around me shortly afterward made it painfully clear which it was, and I slumped as the magic corralled me in to the darkness of sleep.

"The fuck is going on?" I grumble, getting up and taking in my surroundings, which happened to be a dark blue box.

"You are my new servant! You shall obey my commands! Now release me from my prison so I may once again spread terror across the lands!" A female voice behind me exclaimed evilly.

Turning, I saw a dark purple unicorn continuing to act evil. "Where are we, anyway? And why does my voice work? Not that I'm complaining, but it almost feels weird after not being able to after... However long it's been that I've been stuck here."

"You don't even know what your mindscape looks like? What kind of mage are you?" The mare looks at me like I'm an idiot.

"Since when have humans been able to become mages? The human bastards here in pony-land haven't even figured out how to stab their slavers with pointy sticks yet, let alone figure out magic."

We just kind of looked at each other in confusion at this point, both of us feeling like we both had about ten pieces of the five hundred piece puzzle.

"What's a human?" The confused evil-doer asks.

"I'm a human."

"We're still on Equestria, right?"

"Yeah."

"When did Equestria get humans?"

"No idea, I'm actually an alien. The humans they have are all pretty stupid. It's depressing, to be honest."

"Sounds like it, but what about Discord? Is he still around?"

"No idea who that is, all I know is that two alicorns have been in charge for thousands of years. Luna and Celestia, if memory serves."

"I think I remember them, but they were mere foals when Discord trapped me. I don't even know how long I've been stuck in that stupid rock! I know ponies have come by, but Discord told me the only way to break free was if a non-magical creature touched my prison! Which is ridiculous! There aren't any creatures that don't have at least a trace amount of magic!" The mare ranted, one eye twitching as she finally stopped to try and catch her breath.

"No fucking clue lady. Though I am curious as to why you were stuck in a wolf statue, that just doesn't seem to be your thing."

"That's because I was stuck in the rock it was sitting on, you idiot. Even if a non-magical creature managed to get in here, most would just take the shiny figurine and run, not realizing it's uselessness!"

"That sounds like it was set up to be infuriating."

"It was, but I've kept my sanity to spite him. Giving in to the Chaos would be letting him win, after all."

"He stuck you in a rock, I think he won."

"Against me, maybe, but considering the lake isn't filled with soda, I'd say he tasted defeat at some point. As it stands, I'm alive with a host, even if it is weird and non-magical. Though I'm unhappy that my host is beyond my control." She finished with a pointed glare.

"Why can't you? It's not like I can resist against magic."

"I have no idea, but nothing I've tried works with you. This is quite irksome because, in my rush to be released, I fused our souls together, but since I can't use my magic to affect much of anything now, I'm quite stuck." She replied with a pout.

"So... We're stuck together until we find a unicorn mage that's proficient in Soul Magic?"

"Pretty much."

"Well then, in that case, it's nice to meet you. My name's Jack Smith." I held out a hand to shake, though she looked at me funny before replying.

"My name is Werda, Mistress of Nightmares."

"Mistress of Nightmares? Wouldn't that be that Nightmare Moon thing that happened to the night princess?"

The mare snorted derisively. "Nightmare Moon is a hack. Comparable to poltergeist at best, and is really more of a leech than anything. Sure, there's an increase in power, but the drain of sustaining it far outweighs the benefits. The madness and jealousy incurred just aren't worth the paltry power it grants at first though, as it holds more power over you its power does grow."

"Well, the only super-beings I know of so far have been alicorns, and I think I've heard of Discord at some point, I think he was some sort of fucked up chimera?"

"That's an odd way to describe Discord, but I can understand why you might think of him as so."

"Alright, anything else?"

"Wake up."