Your Human and You: Tricks and Treats

So we were once again at The Spindle, and from what I'd seen of Frost Thimble, the clothes she'd made me didn't quite match her usual style. Sure, it was all black and dark greys, but the first set was a rather fancy looking suit that just didn't quite look complete without a top hat and monocle, though it did come with a nice pair of shoes. The second set was basically a pair of black cargo jeans with a dark grey shirt that had a solid black version of Sparx's cutie-mark on the back.

"You know," Sparx started, "That suite just seems too fancy for what he's going to do."

"Don't worry, it's for formal occasions for when you start getting into the higher ranks. I just haven't actually put the finishing touches on what I had planned for him to wear to the shows. If you'll follow me, we can put the finishing touches on it." Frost led the way into her work room, and I obediently stand on the dias.

"Smart boy, have a treat." She used her wing to put a small doggie treat off of her desk and held it up to me.

Mentally shrugging, I grabbed it and popped it into my mouth, rather surprised when it turned out to be apple flavored. Definitely not Beggin' Strips... Or sugary...

Apparently happy that I wouldn't do anything, she pulls my boots and pants off again, then looks at Sparx in confusion. "I forgot to ask last time, but why is he wearing a pair of shorts under his jeans?"

Sparx sighed, "I have no idea. In fact, I really don't know much of anything about him."

"And you say you found him."

"Yes."

"There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

"... No..."

Frost just looked at her, obviously unamused by the continued lies. So, as the one who's job it was to fuck everything up, I kneel down beside the pegasus and nip at her ear in the same way I used to bite that one really kinky bitch I dated. A high pitched yelp followed, along with the slight blush on her face, told me that I'd hit the nail on the head with my thoughts on this one. And then she slapped me. Hard.

"What the hell!" The mare yelled as I rubbed my face. Sparx would have replied to her, but she'd facehoofed so hard she was momentarily seeing stars, so I took matters into my hands and pulled out my Handy Dandy Notebook™.

Can we keep her? She's so cute and kinky! I promise I'll take care of her! I'll walk her and feed her and clean her! Please!

"Kinky? What makes you think that!" Frosty growled at me.

Well, all the leather and chains sorta gives it away. The blush after I nibbled on your ear told me the yelp was out of surprise, not pain, and I'm guessing you liked it.

"Sparx, why the fuck is this thing writing, anyway?"

"Well, he's kind of an alien. Who happens to look like one of our humans, and is also part of a race he calls humans." The mare in question replied.

"He's really an alien? Like, not from our world and may or may not have plans to conquer it?" Frost gushed out, sounding rather excited all of a sudden.

"Well, I don't think he plans on world domination." She reassured the mare, and herself.

Of course I have plans to take over the world, but I don't intend to harm you nice ladies in the process.

"So..." Frost gives Sparx a big smile. "Can I keep him?"

Some furious scribbling ensued. Hey! I asked first!

Once again, Sparx seems flabbergasted. Maybe she expected a different reaction from the ponies that found out. I didn't know, but she sat there for at least a full minute, so I responded for her.

Fine! You can keep me instead of the other way around, but I'll only stick around if you fuck me at least once a day, and at least one blowjob every other day, along with promising to never try and chain me up for your dominatrix pleasuring. Otherwise I'm making a run for it! I spin the pad around with wide smirk.

"Deal!"

"Wait, what?!" The unicorn now looked more flabbergasted than she did before, though her brain finally seemed to unscramble itself. "You'd abandon me and making all of those bits just to become her fuck-toy!?"

Well, I never exactly said that. What I meant was I'd split my time between the two of you. We'd go win a show every other week or so, and in the meantime I'd spend my time here with the kinky one. Then I went on damage control, giving her my goofiest smile.

Sparx sat there for a moment, sifting through what I'd just 'said,' before smiling back at me. "That actually is a great idea, since that'll get you out of my mane as much as possible! Congratulations Frosty, you have a new fuck-toy!"

Well, fuck. I think this joke just backfired on me... Frosted Thimble, on the other hand, seemed quite elated.

"Hell yeah!" She pumped a fist into the air. "I'm going to be one of the first ponies to ever fuck an alien!"

"That you know of, cause I'm sure there's bound to be a few other's around. I mean, who's ever heard of being the only one?"

Thanks for making me feel special.

"No problem, but we do need to get your clothes. It's kind of the reason we're here."

Nodding in agreement, Frost pulls out what she had made for me, and it was definitely not what I had expected. In fact, it looked rather like someone had created trashy romance novel clothes in a Middle-Eastern style. A tight silk vest that laced up the front and a pair of flowing pants, both a shimmering grey. Before I put my pad down to toss it on, I wrote down one last thing.

I still want more of those treats for having to put up with this.

"Of course!" The very polite mare gave me another treat and started her work.

A few hours later she was done and we were lounging around the back room and figuring out how this arrangement would work.

"So, you'll "take care" of him, and will be yours in all but name, since my name has to be on the papers for me to take him to shows." Sparx queried.

"Yes, and we'll split the winnings fifty-fifty."

I wave my arms around to get their attention, then write out my thoughts. What about me? I say we split it 45-45-10, in your favor. That'll pay for my upkeep and still give me some money to toss around.Holding it out so they could read it, I quickly start writing again. This place does have strip clubs, right?

With a sigh, Sparx spoke over Frost's laughter. "Yes, there are strip clubs, any important questions?"

Well, can I at least buy myself a steak or two occasionally? Got to get my protein in or I'll wither up, and poor Frostey here will be wishing it was as simple as a changing a battery to keep her toy going.

"You're impossible, you know that?" The tan mare gave me quite the look as she informed me of this, all the while the white one was rolling on the floor.

But can I?

"I don't care, just get Frostey there to take you shopping. That is, if she ever stops laughing..."

Getting up, the mare in question responded through said laughter. "Sure, I'll take him shopping occasionally."

"Now that everything's settled, we'll get out of your mane so you can open the shop back up."

"Alright, though you're not bothering me. And are you going to drop him off after the competition tomorrow?"

"Yes." Sparx replied as we made our way to the front. "I'll drop him off afterward and finally have some peace."

With a final departing wave, we made our way back to Sparx's place to rest up for tomorrows adventure.

The Manehattan Amateur Show was quite the spectacle, full of family friendly sideshows and food vendors. The walk to the showgrounds wasn't far, but the stands that filled the area between it and the event entrance easily doubled the time it took to get there. Eventually we ended up in front of the official to finalize our entrance.

"Papers, please." The dark blue stallion behind the desk requested. Pulling them from her saddlebags, she floated them over to the earth pony, who looked over them with a trained eye. "Everything seems to be in order Ms. Sparx. Here's your tag. You will be number sixteen today."

"Thank you sir." She replied, attaching the tag to my collar before leading me towards the pen reserved for me.

Once there, she looked and made sure everything was in order, then gave the leash a light tug. "Come on Jack, let's get something to eat before the show starts."

Walking around the stalls, I spot something I'd never hoped to see here, but was ecstatic to see. This time I'm the one giving a tug on the leash.

"See something you want?"

I just stare at the stand, hoping she gets the message.

"Ah, but do you really need that before the show?" A quick nod. "If you say so."

We approached the funnel cake stand that was being manned by a blue and white stallion that was more than a bit round, taking in the intoxicating aroma of grease and sugar.

"Two please."

"That'll be ten bits ma'am." He replied in a deep voice.

She didn't even wince at what I assumed was an outrageous price, and handed him the bits. It wasn't until we had sat down that she grumbled about it.

"These things better taste like food for the gods at that price."

Ignoring her complaint, I took a bite out of mine, and froze. This funnel cake tasted extraordinary! Just as good as the ones back home! It was only through sheer force of will that I didn't sink into a smiling stupor.

"Is it really that good?" The mare asked. Lacking a real way to communicate, I just took a bigger bite out of it.

"If you say so." Taking a bite out of her own, she smiles. "Yeah, it's good. Still not sure if it was ten bits good, but still good."

I just munched away, which is all I really could do while disguising myself as one of these neanderthals.

About thirty minutes later, it was time for the show to start. We arrived just as one of the coordinators began issuing instructions.

"Alright gentleponies, I'll keep this short and simple. Stay in line, keep your human from misbehaving, and approach the stage when you are called. Any questions?" Which was followed by a wave of 'no' from the crowd. "Great, good luck in the show!"

And so the show began, no turning back now, but at least we had a good view of the show. The judging was in three parts, each with a different judge. First there was appearance, where an aquamarine unicorn mare with a white mane looked the human over. Then a rather burly looking stallion poked and prodded, apparently to test aggressiveness and submissiveness. The last "test" seemed to some kind of freestyle where a brown and gold pegasus mare lay on a pillow, and the human brushed, massaged, and did other such tasks.

"Number sixteen, Sparx and her human, Jack!"

Sparx took the leash off while we were being announced, then we walked to the center of the stage. I made sure to walk a step behind her and put a bit of swagger in my step. Of course, I had no idea if it made me look more impressive or retarded, but it didn't really matter at this point. Once we made it, I relaxed my pose and put my hands in the pockets I'd gotten Frostey to add.

The judge might as well have been wearing an iron mask for all the emotion she showed as I was being studied. Stopping in front of me, she looked to Sparx. "Have him get on his knees so that I may check his teeth."

Why am I not surprised she sounds like a strict school teacher.

Not waiting for Sparx to relay the order, I go down to one knee with my left hand still in my pocket, but my right arm now resting on my leg.

"How quaint." Was all the mare had to say as she proceeded to practically shove her hoof down my throat. I didn't even want to think how they trained the other humans not to go apeshit.

"I am done." The judging mare of few words then walked to the judges table and sat down, causing the stallion to approach us.

He gave Sparx a nod, then walked up to me. I hadn't moved yet, so my balance was precarious as he shoved me. Fortunately, we had been watching the other contestants, so I knew it was coming. Tucking my head and shoulder in, I rolled myself so I was sitting with my legs crossed.

"Impressive." This judge's voice was rather low and gravelly, not the kind of voice you want to hear in an alley at night. Putting his hoof on my chest, be begins to push me down onto my back. Not moving his hoof, he gets in my face and growls at me.

These ponies really need to learn that they can't do intimidating very well... Of course, instead of showing my disdain for such poor tactical application of their traits, I just tilt my head to the side. This stallion though, maybe he could read minds, because he knocked me on the shins with a hoof. I somehow manage to only yelp in surprise and not give him the seething death-glare this bastard deserved for such a trick.

"Interesting..." Was all he bothered to say, and then made his way back to the table, tagging the last judge in. This one actually bounced over to us.

"Hi! Nice to meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you as well, Miss." Sparx replied with a gracious smile.

"I can't wait to see what your little Jack can do!" The bubbly mare exclaimed, walking over to the cushion and laying down on it.

Getting up, I walk over to her and get a good look at the items on the stand. It turns out that they were all brushes of different types, and hell if I knew which one was for what. The mare was just humming happily to herself, waiting to be groomed. There was just one problem: I wasn't going to groom her. Instead, I get on me knees and begin to rub her back with my hands.

"I love my job..." She purrs in response to my attention.

Smirking internally, I begin to give her the best massage I could. Starting at her shoulders, I attack the knots with vigor, slowly making my way down as each knot disappears. I hadn't given a massage in years, and the anatomy was different, but I think I managed. She seemed to particularly enjoy it once I got down to her lower back and upper hip. Once I was done, I sat down a few feet from her.

"Thank you! You may now exit the stage and await the announcement of the winners! The bubbly mare then skipped back to the judges table as we walked off stage.

About ten minutes later we were on the stage with the other twenty contestants. On unspoken agreement, we made to put ourselves on the edge of the crowd, neither wanting to be in the middle of such a throng.

"Mares and gentlestallions, give a round of applause for our contestants!" The announcer boomed, and the audience complied with enthusiasm. "First place in this Service-Class competition goes to Keen Edge and his Lucy!"

More applause and cheering as a brown and yellow unicorn stallion in a duster of all things led his female to the front of the stage where the bubbly judge gave a gold medal and pinned a blue ribbon on the human's dress.

Eh, she ain't too bad looking for a neanderthal, five out of ten.

"Second place goes to Soft Breeze and her Jenny!" This time it was a pale yellow and blue mare that led her female to the podium to receive a silver medal and red ribbon.

I get the feeling that, at some point in the future, I'm going to have to come up with a name for the normal ponies, because calling them earth ponies just seems weird.

"And last, but certainly not least, third place goes to Sparx and her human, Jack!" Keeping our cool, we walked forward to receive our award. The bubbly mare looked like she wanted to say something, but professionalism kept her quiet. Sparx nodded to the mare, and we made our way to stand by the other winners. "That concludes today's competition! I wish you well until next time!"

With the final announcement, the crowds dispersed, the winners got their photo taken for the papers, and we were heading back towards the Thimble.

Later that night, we found ourselves in Frosty's living room, which happened to be above her shop.

"So how'd it go?"

"Not too bad, we got third and won a little over twelve-hundred bits."

"Only twelve-hundred? That doesn't seem like more than your usual jobs, and I figured Jack was smart enough to get first." Frost replied with a smirk.

Taking up my pencil, I replied for this one.Not my fault the deciding judge was a nympho that loved tits. Besides, it was easy and rather time efficient, and we didn't even have to worry about the guards!

"He's definitely right about the time part, it wouldn't be worth the effort if I actually had to put the effort into actually training a human." Sparx acquiesced. "Though training him was a nightmare itself..."

I gave her a half-hearted glare while Frost laughed. At least you didn't have to house-train me.

"Speaking of houses, I think I'm going to head off." The mare yawned, adding, "Who'd have thought keeping an intelligent human would be so draining?"

"Of course it's going to be draining, great sex always is!" The pegasus snarked.

I wasn't sure why this was the first thing on this planet that had made me actually laugh, but I couldn't help myself, I busted a gut. The mares stared at me incredulously as I kept my new laughter up, even if it sounded almost like barking.

"You can laugh?" The shocked duo asked.

I stopped when I heard them Well, yeah. I chuckled when I was scaring the shit out of that drunk bastard, don't you remember?

"That was a chuckle? It sounded more like a tiny landslide, this one's almost like hyena, and sounds rather disturbing."

"And I wasn't there for that." Frost chimed in.

"You know what? To hell with this headache, I'm going home." Sparx groaned as she rubbed her temple with a hoof and headed for the door. "Bye Frosty, bye Jack."

"Bye Sparx!"

I looked over at the remaining mare as the unicorn retreated. So, want to cuddle and go to sleep?

"Of course I do!" She replied with an enthusiastic smile as we made our way to her room.

Snuggling up under the blankets with her was a delightful experience, since these ponies were, without a doubt, the most cuddly creatures in the multiverse. I'm really not going to want to wake up in the morning...