Dear Discord,
It is so nice to get a letter, even one from you! Between you, Luna, and I, (I'm having Luna be my honorary scribe for today) I've been kind of lonely with out the normal letters from Twilight. I am so proud of her for finishing her studies, but I still miss the little filly I taught for so long. Sorry, I was getting a bit nostalgic there for a moment. Remember Discord, this stays between Luna, you, and I, got it? I just don't want my little ponies to think I'm needy or something. I'm sorry to hear your visit is boring, but as you said, it's better than Canterlot, don't tell anypony this either, but I couldn't agree more, but I know if I moved to Ponyville, even just had a vacation home there all the other Canterlot ponies would surely follow me, you however, I bet nopony would follow you.
All the best,
Princess Celestia
PS
Dear Discord,
Sorry if this is hard for you to read, it is 3am on my internal clock, she had to use me as her 'honorary scribe' on the one day I sleep a week, anyway, my mind is foggy, but I have a small prank you could play, it would annoy the heck out of who ever you chose to play it on, I will send it in a separate letter on one condition, you won't use it on me, got to go Tia is getting suspicious.
Luna
PPS
She really is lonely so if you could consider sending her more letters.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I know I am no longer technically your student, but Discord has informed me that you are becoming lonely without our letters, even if he is wrong I believe it would be fun for us to be 'pen pals'. Life in Ponyville has been great, but wish all my friends would stop referring to me as a 'princess', I know my title is something to be proud of, but I don't want my friends calling me that. Other than that my life back in Ponyville has been fun, but I also need to visit my parents, when I do I will be sure to inform you, maybe we could even have tea, just like we did back when I was still a filly!
~~Your faithful stu~~ ~~Your loyal sub~~ ~~Your frie~~
Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle
PS
When are you coming back to get Discord again? He's currently trying to replace all my ink with invisible ink and he thinks I'm not able to see him.
Dear Celestia,
I am still in Ponyville,
and I am bored so,
Dear Celestia,
Rarity annoys me so,
organized chaos,
Dear Celestia
Pinkie Pie is quite crazy,
but at least she's fun,
Dear Celestia,
Applejack can never play,
she works the whole day,
Dear Celestia,
Twilight's still very pretty,
Please ignore that bit,
Dear Celestia,
Rainbow Dash is kind of rude,
very boring too,
Dear Celestia,
Fluttershy is still my friend,
and you are still not,
Dear Celestia,
Notice that these are haikus?
Sincerely, Discord
PS Sunny Butt,
Luckily I am still good,
Very bored but still!
Alright no more haikus, they're to, organized
But anyways, life here is kinda boring,
Canterlot is still worse though.
Did you know Fluttershy has a platypus?
Echidnas are the only other egg laying mammals.
Fluttershy is not able to play with me right meow, ):
Got some cat with allergies.
Hats, lots and lots of hats, why does Rarity have so many hats?
In other news, the CMC (Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo) are great at chaos.
Jumping beans are hopping around Sweet Apple Acres,
Know that it is not my doing.
Lots of boring stuff going on.
Monday, why does it have to be Monday?
No more Mondays, no more Mondays!
Only Twilight would get so upset over a fake spider, except maybe Rarity, I can't sit for a week!
Pinkie Pie's throwing a party, the third one this week!
Quill! Why you have to break? I have to use my own feather! NTS:Pester Flutters to buy more quills.
Rainbow Dash can't beat me in a race! :)
Stone, brrrr stone, I almost got turned into stone again by a cockatrice yesterday!
Tuxedos, why do penguins look like they wear fancy little tuxedos? Oh! Look at me! I'm so fancy!
Uncouth, so apparently I'm uncouth, what does that even mean?
Vultures think I'm dea- CELESTIA HELP ME! IT'S TRYING TO EAT MY LIVER! MY LIVER!!
Why is my liver so delicious? I mean it must be if all these vultures are trying to eat it.
Xylophones, the most chaotic instrument, I invented them! Why do you think they sound so weird?
You have no idea how bored I am.
Zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz time to sleep! Bye!
Author's Note
Yep that's a haiku and the other one's some type of poem, I have to go search the internet, give me a moment, alright it's called an alphabet poem! How utterly un-chaotic!
Dear Discord,
I hope this letter does not wake you, though you might not be asleep, I do not know of your sleeping habits. Now, remember that prank I mentioned? I came up with a better one, one you can use on my sister, I will give you simple steps, as it is easier for me to describe that way,
Materials,
Paper
Quill
Ink
Way to send paper (Magical teleportation or an envelope)
Step One: At the bottom of the letter write something like, Love, [your name or a fake name], sincerely [your name or a fake name] etc.
Step two: Send to your intended victim and watch as they struggle to figure out what is written.
I know it is short and simple, but Celestia is desperate for letters, your one letter has turned her hunger into starvation! It's fun to watch her on her throne, every few minutes she looks around checking for a letter now. I wish you could see her, you would be laughing your head off! (Knowing you 'laughing your head off' would be literal) I must be off, my sleep is still a bit messed up from my position as a 'honorary scribe'. Hope you can use this prank on many ponies, Canterlot would be much more bearable if you did harmless pranks like this more often.
Have fun,
Luna