Biblemann and Shrek turned their heads 45°C to the right, and saw Andrew Harrison getting anally fisted by Machamp from Pokëmon. Gardevoir, the gender-confused little bugger, FINISH THIS SENTENCE FOR ME. No fag

⁂ 8====D ⁂

Somewhere in another frame: Twilight Sparkle, teleporting hypocycloidic needles into random ponies’ses buttholes. What a merry prankster she is.

Andrew Harrison beckoned Shrek over to him and took his fat ogre cock into his gaping mouth, enjoying the oniony flavor of the delicious Dulocian dick that was sliding down his faggot throat.

Rainbow Dash gazed into Marvin Heemeyer’s eyes with equinely love, winking her own eyes one at a time in some kind of weird horse-like innuendo-based courtship ritual attempt. Theirs was a forbidden love, she, a cartoon horse, he, a non-fictional being. She, a harmoniously happy pinnacle of creation, and he, a random guy with a tragic backstory who magically appears in Equestria and, at first glance, appears to be a criminal, but is really just a misunderstood nice guy or something. Plus he was unpopular back home and was totally okay with leaving everyone he'd ever loved (only after violently deconstructing their buildings) cuz YOLO.

Rainbow Dash lied/lay/whatever down, rolled onto her back (with her wings jammed straight into the bed, bent in weird directions as her bones splintered), spread her back legs, and winked her third eye at Marvin ;). It was at that time that Marvin the Earthling realized he was actually about to bone Tenshinhan from Dragon Ball Z.

[center⁂ oh shit we forgot the epic fight scene ⁂
also ⁂ 8====D ⁂center]

(you may imagine bubbly ragtime piano or whatever that stuff is playing during this part of the story(it's LGBT reggae)
Killdozer® did seven backflips and seven frontflips at the same time, at a rate of one backflip per front flip per second, which is to say that he stood in place for seven seconds. Then, he dashed forward like Dash from The Incredibles, and later in the decade The Incredibles 2.

Dash from The Incredibles was unfortunately nowhere to be found, Alexstrasza was forcing him to create the fastest child pizzaography of all time, but it's not rape cuz men can't be raped, and even though in my headcanon Dash is a polysexual deitykin transmale he's still a man.

Shrek and Biblemann took time away from their schedule of making Minecraft Top 10s and prank videos in order to react to the Killdozer® in a way that I'm sure iloveportalz0r would be happy to describe for me, and it went something like this: Shrek and Bibleman, wearing their awesome dual-super-combo-power rings, brofisted the rings together really, really hard. It hurt their dactylions for a moment, and then…

Biblemann and Shrek began to glow, dimly at first, and then hotter and hotter! It went all the way from infrared, to red, to whatever comes next, to violet, and even ultraviolet. Eventually, they worked their way up to being so hot that they emitted gamma radiation, which is very unsafe for organic life (and probably other life, too). Eventually, through some sequence of undescribed events happening (because that is what EVENTually means), they stopped floating (I forgot to say when they started), their arms came apart, and their cloaky cape-like things which increased this chapter's total word-count by three continued flapping in a nonexistent breeze. All was silent in awe, Butte only for just 3 Planck times (the measurement of time relating how long it took for the plancking meme to die).

Unfortunately for the two of them(forgot their names lol) Killdozer® actually ran them over and none of the previous paragraph actually happened, it was all a dream (does that cream your meme Onision?). They tried to sue the Killdozer® for 38£ but no judge would willingly convict a Killdozer, registered or otherwise.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was still fucking her Rainbow Dash blow-up doll with her awesome penis. Just Imagine™ all that lubricant! And then she stopped doing that and her penis retracted and fell off and she was a girl again. Non-suddenly, she looked up and saw that while she was busy performing sexual intercourse with an inanimate object, a few unruly Cloud™s from the Always $0.00 Tree And Shrubbery Collection had wandered outside of their playpen. Instead of reporting the incident to the appropriate authorities, she grabbed a puff of cloud and, during the next congress meeting, used it as evidence for global warming being a giant shamwow. Bernie Sanders killed himself and allowed the #BlackLivesMatter movement to use his naked carcass as a protest sign, but when they touched his superior white skin their internalized AIDS kicked in and all the niggers died. As a result of this crime dropped by thirty percent even though niggers are only thirteen percent of the population because niggers are violent, disgusting creatures.

Twilight Sparkle, outraged by the blatant racism that is #BlackLivesMatter, created her own campaign: #PurpleOrMaybeVioletOrLavenderLivesMatter. Unfortunately, the whole thing devolved into an argument over whether or not purple and violet are distinct colors. Spike, being a purple (or maybe violet or lavender) creature, knew the answer already: no one gives a shit unless they are 40 years old and still a virgin. Twilight Sparkle heard this:

“Oh, Spike, your purple (or maybe violet or lavender)-based reasoning is so sexually stimulating! Let’s make theories together!

“Not a chance, Twilight, I only theorize with real women,” he replied, furiously fapping away to a picture of a genderbent Calilou as sweat rolled down his pubic pad, creating a sickening slapping sound each time his scaly hand hit the base of his filthy, smegma-covered carbon-based dick.

wagegapcausedgamergate

Suddenly, with an arbitrarily massive rumble, a thousand World Trade Centers sprung up from the ground, strengthening America by literally 174² × √3̅7̅X̅ = 12 times. Unfortunately for America, the towers were struck down violently by airplanes hijacked by followers of Islam(a religion of Peace) and then we made fun of feminists and AnComs too, allowing our neckbeards to reach critical mass. Critical mass, also known as Kritikal Mass in Germany, is the phenomenon of tons of shit making an even bigger pile of shit.

and then everyone died and became a single amalgamation zombie

5 stars favorite and subscribe please

What will happen to Zombie Killdozer®/everyone? Find out in Chapter 2: Episode 2, but never episode 3 fuck u Gaben you obese retard

Author's Note

"Portal 3 coming soon"
Love, Chuckward