I could have sent her back...

Dear Diary,

This is very much a coming-of-age point for me. My entire life, I've spent in this city. And I'm beginning to realize that that's all that it is. A city. Concrete, metal, and flesh for as far as the eye can see. We have a park, but no park service. When squirrels choke to death on litter, or little kids put toilet paper all over one of the trees, it's all just... left there. Much like the rest of this town. The police don't even bother doing anything about the rampant crime in my area anymore. One of them even told me to "buy a gun, and stop complaining."

And assuming I don't get robbed on the way to work, every day of my life is basically the same. I wake up, I get dressed, and I work eight hours at a burger joint. Then, with another eight hours left until I go to sleep and have to repeat the process, I'm in no hurry to get home. I find that taking long walks every now and again really helps to make me feel better.

I'll often just pass right by my house and keep walking. I'll just walk until I feel like I've had enough. No pedometers, no exercise regimen, not even any real point. I just enjoy walking, if that makes any sense.

Sometimes, I'll find myself stopping to catch my breath, or just collect my thoughts. Way too often, I find myself standing in the middle of the Central Bridge, just staring down into the water. Just zoning out and getting lost in my thoughts. I'll just lean into the guard rail for about a half an hour, and do absolutely nothing productive. I'll think long and hard about my life, and where it's going. Then I'll start to lean in further, and then further, and further still, perhaps with a subconscious hope that the guard rail will break away, and I'll find the answers to my troubles at the bottom of the river.

Perhaps.