Creepy Pie

(Narrated by Mister Breezy)

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

“Holy frick! Holy frick! Holy frick! OK, so who was here for the Pinkie thread last night? Since then, weird crap has been happening. Just... I'm freaking scared out of my mind right now.”

I was shaking uncontrollably. The sun was finally beginning to set, which is what I had been paranoid about all day. I didn’t want her to come back, but I knew she’d be here. I got on /mlp/ later that night, hoping that by talking to someone, I’d be able to put my mind at ease, and let’s face it, only people on 4chan would ever believe what I had to say.

“I was there. What's scaring you so badly?”

“I haven't slept more than like 2 hours since last night. I tried going to bed, but I keep seeing these freaky images popping up at me whenever I'm in the dark. Every time I go to bed, I see these creepy faces (of Pinkie) and haven't been able to sleep for more than 10 minutes at a time. I haven't been able to think or eat all day. It's getting dark out again, and I'm praying that the light in my room will be enough to just... keep things out of my head.”

“Do you have a history of being hysterical or anything of the sort? Assuming this isn't extreme bait, you should probably go see a doctor after your body shuts down on you and you get some sleep.”

“NO! This has never happened before! I mean, there's been a whole bunch of stuff happening today, but... let's just start with helping me get some sleep.”

At this point, people had started trickling in. Some asked questions about what happened the previous night. Some were just making fun of me for being afraid of a fictional character, but what I saw… I’ll get to it later.

“What thread is OP talking about? Did someone post 2spooky Pinkie images or something?”

“There WERE some spooky images in there, but nothing that'd give me nightmares. I mean, seriously, I am seeing some spooky faces. Like LITERALLY seeing them. I'm freaking out.”

“Obviously all you have to do is giggle at the ghosties.”

“You think this is funny? SERIOUSLY?! I just... I thought I could just look at your gif and get some comfort out of that, but you pull THAT on me?! Normally, that would have no effect on me. Tonight, it is creeping me the eff out. Like I am seriously having trouble breathing atm. I'll be right back…”

I walked into the hallway and opened the door to the bathroom. I didn’t even look inside until I had felt around and flipped the light switch on, and even then, I refused to look in the mirror. I just turned on the hot water, let it heat up for a few seconds and splashed the water into my face. The water had gotten hot enough to burn a little, but at least it took my mind off of things for a minute. It gave me a second to relax.

I got back into my room and took a few seconds to breathe before going back to /mlp/ again. I wasn’t going crazy. This was real. It had to be real. I had never experienced anything like it before, so why would this happen all of a sudden?

Upon getting back onto 4chan, I was immediately greeted by a variety of new scary pictures.

“REALLY?”

“I regret nothing.”

“I was there for part of the thread. What else went down?”

“It was going on throughout the thread. Like, the first spooky thing was someone pointed out that the first letter in a couple Pinkie Pie pics spelled out 'Kill me.' Then there were just some other creepy ones.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with a tulpa, would it?”

“No, I don't do the whole tulpa thing. I always thought it was weird.”

“Shrinkfag here. Look in a mirror that you have. Do you notice any striking difference in your face at all? (Trust me it matters)”

Looking at my screen for a second, I thought to myself whether or not I should actually listen to him, in case she popped up in the mirror, starting what could be another night of Hell for me. Taking a deep breath, I went back to my mirror, took a good look at myself and walked back to my room.

“My face is regular. Maybe a little pale, but regular. My hair is all messy, but that's just because I've been too anxious to do anything about it.”

“Nigger, ponies aren't real. Pinkie isn't going to ‘get you,’ and I have thought spooky things. The best thing I did was turn on the hallway lights and put on some music and it was just fine. Oh and by the way, if you are awake for more than 2 days, those are going to get worse."

“And stop being such a little faggot about some pictures you saw on the internet. This is some 4 year old problem because ‘Something's gonna get me.’”

It felt like as soon as I read that, a total recap of all the events from the night before flashed through my mind at once. I had closed my laptop and had gotten under my blankets when she started showing up. It was a dark pink figure, taking the features of Pinkie Pie, but her appearance wasn’t just some cartoon. I looked her in the eyes and saw something as real as anything I’d ever seen before. Call it a ghost. Call it me being crazy. Call it the devil himself trying to manipulate me into killing myself, but she was there, sometimes inches from my face, sometimes looking down at me from the ceiling. She was always staring right at me, though… staring… and laughing…

“I know nothing's going to hurt me, but things keep popping out at me! They're freaking terrifying! Trust me, if you ever experienced something like this, you wouldn't be talking. I mean, I can hardly look at Pinkie right now. I just keep seeing her face, only it's mangled and gory and crap. Thanks for the suggestions, though.”

“I can pretend it never happened. Considering how you bled, I don't consider it memorable.”

It took me a minute to remember what he was talking about, but I quickly replied, “That part is starting to freak me out even more! Like, when I said that my butthole was bleeding, it was like a freaking puddle on my shorts. It wasn't a waterfall or anything, but still enough for like 3 squares of toilet paper.”

“OP is really scared of the ghosties.”

“Ghosts? Like don't mess around with me here. I don't know what these things are. It's like Satan himself.”

There were people laughing at me almost the second I made the post. It really disgusted me how—wait!!

“THE PINKIE PIE TOY IS GONE! HOLY FRICK THE TOY ISN'T WHERE I PUT IT! I put it on my shelf where I normally put it, but it. Is. Gone. I am seriously about to start crying right now.”

“Hush now. Quiet now. It’s time to lay your sleepy head.”

“Describe the faces that you're seeing. Anything you can give me will help.”

“The faces change. It's always different, but usually Pinkie Pie.”

“Pinkie didn't like it when she was in your anus, so she escaped, but don't worry… she will be back.”

“Do you have any pets that may have moved it?”

“She knows the taste of human blood. Be worried.”

“I love ponies.”

“Check your closets and basement... If you find it in either, run.”

“She’s behind you!”

I have to admit, I was too scared to look behind me, just in case she was really there—the toy OR the images from earlier. The pressure was finally getting to me, and I was losing what little composure I had left. At this point, I finally broke down.

“OK. I'm legitimately crying now. Thanks, a-holes. Creepy stuff like this has been happening all day, and I thought people here would actually be able to understand and help rather than think that I'm just going crazy. What's going on...”

“Where do you think you are?”

“Please, I'm begging you. Please stop with the creepy pictures.”

“Dude, I'm from /x/. I recommend checking the least likely areas to find her: closets, under a bed, basement, attic, knife drawer, etc. Try and remain calm, and if you find it, don't make contact. Retreat from the building if you need. Be careful, tripfriend. Also, get a camera an post that on youtube.”

“All I have is my phone camcorder. I don't know exactly what I should be recording, though.” I pulled out my phone and put it on the video record setting just in case something came up. Still, though, if I were to take a video, wouldn’t it be after something scary happened? If Pinkie just showed up in my face, would the camera even be able to pick her up? She only came when my room was pitch black, but at this point, I was getting ready everything that could possibly get rid of her.

“Here's what's going on: The guy you got the toy from gave it to you for free, because he wanted to get rid of the curse. Now the haunted toy is with you. I'm sure that sticking it in your anus only enraged it.”

I put my forehead into my hands. Of course I had thought of that, but actually seeing it come from another person just made me think it was true. “You know what? I'd believe it. I would honestly believe it. I'll believe almost anything at this point.”

“Do you own any firearms?”

“No, I don't. Thank goodness.”

“Bro, just go somewhere where there is people and well lit and open 24hrs. Take some painkillers and try to take a nap, maybe get a bite or something. Here where I live there are norms restaurants. Sometimes being isolated and away from people can have harmful effects. Hope you get better, anon, and disregard these faggots.”

“Thanks. Personally, I feel like here is my best bet. I have a roommate, lights and food. I just can't eat anything without feeling like I'll throw up.” That and there was no way I was about to leave my house, especially alone at night.

“Turn on every light in your house. Get a solid object like a baseball bat or other and a cellphone. Get a camera and record. Turn on as many lights as you can. Get ready to run, hide, or call for help if you need, and batten down the hatches. You could be in for a rough night.”

“I've had a rough 24 hours. I have nothing to protect me like a baseball bat or anything, but I'll keep my cell phone out. My camcorder is on my phone, though. What am I supposed to be recording?”

Around that time, people were putting up things to try to cheer me up, like uplifting songs, pictures of happy ponies and different videos. As I clicked on one video, though, it sent me to a peppy song with cartoon skeletons. I wanted to enjoy it, but I couldn’t. I told them, “Didn't help. Even cartoon skeletons are freaking me out.”

“OK, time to get off the ride OP. You have had enough. Just commit Sudoku.”

Suicide. Was this what Pinkie wanted? Was this what I wanted? Would I be free from her if I did it, or would I just be sent to Hell, where I’d have to deal with her for eternity? “I’m thinking about it…” I wrote, shivering to myself as my anxiety grew.

“I have a message for you, and you won’t like it,” a poster said, and in a spoiler tag, he wrote, “Pray for death.”

“Trust me, at this point, I can't stop praying.”

I was being honest, too. I was praying my heart out, begging God to just take my life away so I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore. That way, if there was a God, I wouldn’t have to go to Hell, because I wouldn’t be the one killing myself… right?

“Record yourself and a search if you perform it. If you find something 2spooky, at least people won't think you're insane and you'll probably get a lot of views on YouTube. Even if you die, then the cops will have recorded evidence.”

“K, if I start hearing or seeing something real, I'll take a video.” Looking around the board, though, there were still people making fun of me. I knew I shouldn’t have expected much less, but I was losing my ability to reason here. “Listen... I am legitimately scared. I am scared for my sanity, I'm scared for my well-being and I'm a little bit scared for my life. Please... just for tonight, take this seriously.”

“Wait for the morning (if you survive the night), get your friends (if you have any), and search everywhere for that Pinkie. If you find her, burn her. If you don’t, burn the house.”

“I bet people in 3rd world countries don’t have toys trying to kill them.”

“They don’t have toys.”

“Do you have a knife drawer? That may be your best bet for a weapon if you need it. Just... Be careful.”

“I'll go check to see if my roommates have one. Thanks.”

“Did you just come from Ponychan or something? Let me tell you something. If your brain is playing tricks on you, just look your troubles in the eyes. I want you to see as many pictures of that crap as possible and HANDLE it. Know what it is, then stop worrying about it. Look at some videos of people dying or something, or life in third world countries. Just grow up.”

“I know there's nothing there! I just don't know how to explain some of this stuff. The Pinkie Pie toy still hasn't come up.” The first part was a lie. I had no idea if what was in front of me was real. If I put my hand up, would I be able to touch her? Would I want to touch her…?

“TIME FOR FUN!”

“Don't look at that pic, OP.”

“You know it's probably looking at you right now, right? There's no way to know if it's behind you, beside you, above you, anywhere, really. At any moment, it could end you. You're only alive because you're so entertaining. That's why it's letting you catch glimpses of it, just to freak you out more and entertain it. If you try to run, you will die. If you call the police, you will die. You are stuck there with this unholy thing, and you are going to die.”

And suddenly, I was more freaked out than ever. What was entailed in death? Would there be a light at the end of that tunnel? Or would I just click off like a computer, only never turning back on? Maybe I would die, by my own hands or by the hooves of Pinkie, but it would be when she wanted it to happen. I was powerless. I was too scared to do anything about it, and she knew that. She knew what scared me the most. She knew how to manipulate me. She could scare me so much that I wanted to die, yet she scared me even more at the thought of it actually happening, and the whole time, she would laugh in that high-pitched voice of hers.

“You're loving this, aren't you?” I replied to the poster. “If I run, I'll be running in practically darkness. The cops wouldn't do anything other than send someone to take me to some mental hospital. I won't die... unless I do it myself.” Others replied after me.

“What if he was the unholy thing, perceiving itself within his own mind?”

“This post probably is the reason someone committed suicide.”

“I’m an /x/ian here. You sure you have NOTHING to protect yourself? That one anon's right about the knife drawer OP. Also, this POTENTIALLY could be a sign of sleep deprivation.”

“If it's from sleep deprivation, why did it start happening before I was deprived of sleep?”

“If you want the darkness to end, you must find and burn that toy before it's too late.”

“I'm TRYING to find it, but it's gone!”

I went through some more messages and replied to a few more people, but it was mainly all just people either laughing at me or trying to cheer me up with cute pic—

And then something crashed outside my room.

I grabbed my phone, pushed the record button and said, “I JUST HEARD SOMETHING! Recording now.” I walked around my apartment, recording every nook and cranny that I could find. It wasn’t too late out, but my roommates were all in their rooms with the doors closed. I scanned all throughout the kitchen and living room. It was spotless. The kitchen looked like it was brand new, and the living room looked much more tidy than you’d usually find in a guy’s apartment. Nothing. That was just it. Nothing was out of place. Maybe I was just going crazy…

“K, so I took a video, not sure if it's worth anything, but I'm gonna try uploading it. (This could take a while).” I didn’t know what they would be expecting. I also didn’t know if showing them a recording of a spotless house would be worth it, but I guess it was good to have just to show them that I was serious about the whole thing. I then opened up my DropBox app and began uploading.

“What’s in it?”

“Just me walking around my apartment, trying to find out whatever made that noise I heard. My apartment is freaking SPOTLESS, though, so I'm confused.”

“That’s good,” an anon said, putting in a strange link. Taking a chance, I decided to check out whatever he sent me, recognizing it almost instantly. It was an audio file of Luna Game, and before long, that peppy music was replaced by a long, somber voice singing Giggle At The Ghosties.

“Luna Game? How perfect. That's the only mlp thing that's been able to scare me before now.”

Then, suddenly, I looked at my phone, which said, “DropBox could not upload your file.” Taking another look at my phone, I saw that I had lost connection. Great. Was there something wrong with my phone? I tried using Netflix earlier and the same thing happened… What else could go wrong tonight?

“So, I'm trying to DropBox this video, but it isn't uploading. I've been having trouble with the internet on my phone all day. (It was just me walking around the apartment anyway, so no real loss).”

“Youtube? Uhhh anybody know any sites for this guy? Liveleak?”

“The problem isn't DropBox. It's my phone's connection. It's been happening since last night, or at least since this morning. Tried watching King of the Hill at like 4 this morning and it wouldn't load.”

“OP, have you by chance tried to create a Pinkie Pie tulpa at any point before?”

“No, I haven’t tried it.”

“This is Pinkie Pie, you know. Just tell her you are sorry.”

If I had any pride before that moment, it was suddenly gone. I then began typing, saying aloud what I was writing. “Pinkie Pie, if you're there, I'm sorry! I am legitimately sorry. Please, stop.”

“Do you have wifi?”

“Nope. Using an Ethernet cable as we speak.”

It was about that time when I got up to search for the Pinkie Pie toy for what seemed like the tenth time. This time, though…

“Found her! Hold on. Let me see if I can send a pic through email like yesterday.” Checking my phone, I saw that I had connection. I decided not to make any arguments as I took a picture and quickly emailed it to myself like I had the day before. Then from my computer, I pulled the picture off of the email and added it to my pictures.

“Where did you find her anon?”

“Is she ok? Where did you find her?”

I put up the picture of where I found the toy. She had been hidden behind my Xbox by my TV. It was weird… I only had Pinkie on my TV the night before for convenience and returned her to my dresser where she normally was. I remember vividly grabbing her and putting her there. There was no way she could have just fallen down.

“She was hiding from me. K, so maybe things will be better now that I've at least found her.”

“Do you recall putting her there?”

“Do you have any idea how it got there?”

“How far was this from the original placing?”

“I know I didn't put her there. I might be getting tricked into thinking that I put her on the TV or something, but I'm pretty dang sure I left her on my dresser.”

“Where is your dresser relative to where you found Ponka?”

“I'm in between them. It goes TV, computer, dresser.”

“You said you're sleep deprived. It's entirely possible your mind’s scrambled enough to forget where you put her. Are you still getting the spooky images?”

“They've slowed down for now. Not really seeing them anymore.”

Someone then put up this picture, and despite my fears, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“So, one step from it being over, huh?”

“Are you still panicking?”

“No.” I can’t describe how good it felt to say that. I wasn’t relieved a whole lot. I was still scared that Pinkie would come back the moment I turned off the lights and got into bed, but I was finally numb. I was finally at a point where I could just let things happen as they happ—

Suddenly, Pinkie reappeared right in front of my face for a split second. It was like she was standing on my shoulders and leaned her face down to where it was about an inch away from mine. It only lasted for a second before I jumped, nearly falling to the ground backwards in my chair, but I managed to get a good enough glimpse of her. She knew exactly how to invoke the most fear possible, giving me a sense of peace until I was vulnerable, just for her to rip that peace away.

I slammed my fist onto my desk, wishing I could scream without waking my roommates. “IT'S BACK!” I typed. “Oh my freaking word. It... Please just go away, Pinkie.”

“The scares are back?”

“Call a friend or family member. Having someone to really talk to will help!”

“Put your face into a pillow, while under a blanket. Do whatever you can to be in complete darkness, keep your eyes open and tell me if you see it still.”

I didn’t respond. I was shaking so hard I could barely even press the buttons on my keyboard. Instead, I just looked at my computer screen, rocking myself back and forth, trying to relax myself in any way I could. Again, though, Pinkie wouldn’t have that.

The computer flashed, and for a split second, I was looking straight into the demented eyes of Pinkie. She looked like she was having fun, like she was laughing, like this was all some kind of sick party to her. I wanted to kill her more than I’ve ever wanted to harm anyone. How I wished I could just pull her to the ground, rip out that cotton candy mane and force it into her mouth until she choked on herself. Then we’d really see who was laughing.

Then I looked at the Pinkie Pie toy beside me… and I realized that none of this was real. I was letting her torment me too much. I was becoming the crazy one now. Taking a deep breath, I began typing.

“So I'm just sitting here at my computer. When the computer changed to EXACTLY half-passed the hour, Pinkie popped up on my screen! It was only for a split second, but... I just wish she would go away...”

Unfortunately, nobody seemed to be taking me too seriously anymore.

“You must cum on the Ponk to silence her.”

“You're high. Cum on her.”

“Shove her back in anus and stop the curse!”

“Seriously make out with the toy while you fap. Show her that you love her instead of hating her.”

“Just... nevermind...”

“You expected legit advice from 4chan?”

“I sound crazy right now. This whole thing sounds fake! Who would even LISTEN to me besides 4chan?”

“Well what else can we say right now? If it's persistent after a day or so, check yourself into a hospital or get some family or friends to talk to you in person. Go for a walk when it's day time.”

“Are you talking to anyone besides us? You should be. It'll help keep you grounded. Emotions without an outlet are fuel for this sort of thing.”

“Just close your eyes and go to sleep, faggot. She can't hurt you. Post another thread tomorrow (if you’re still alive).”

“I'm gonna try. See you guys. Thanks for the help.”

I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to. Whether or not I was terrified out of my mind, I had work in the morning, and the sun would come up eventually. I then turned off my computer, turned off the lights and got into bed… and then I began shaking…