Sweets And A Dash Of Rainbow.

"You know, I thought, maybe I should stop this."

"I'm sorry."

"But I figured, if he's dumb enough to start, let him deal with all those mares waiting."

"I'm sorry!"

"I mean, there were like twenty, Ryan. You really--"

"I did a dumb!" I shouted, gripping the sides of the hospital bed. They'd plopped me down with an IV in my arm after wheeling me in on some stretcher. Severe dehydration was my knockout, and sure enough they were pumping me full of wonder fluids to replenish my ruined balls. "I'm stupid, I know!"

Bon Bon turned around and slapped me with her tail. "Earth pony like orgy, earth pony supposed to--"

"Bon Bon please! Can I just sit here and recover without you sticking me every five seconds?!" I sunk deep into my cushy bed. "I get it! I fucked up! I fucked up so bad I ended up in the god damn hospital...now please--"

Bon Bon rolled her eyes hard, painfully so. "Is this because of the shirt thing? Because, remember that was Lyra, not--"

"You instigated it!"

The door to my clean white room flung open. "Bon Bon-" Lyra's voice bounced around. "-I need you to pee on something for me!"

Bon Bon and I both turned our heads to face the door. Bon Bon's ears flattened back as Lyra peeked in with something in her magic. "Lyra, why?"

Lyra looked around the room. "Proving a point. So can you help or what?" She trotted up to my bed and waved a hoof at me. "Hey Ryan, how's the junk?"

"Obliterated." I laid back in my bed and grunted. I couldn't even adjust myself with the IV stuck in my arm. "Feels like I got mangled with a meat tenderizer." I turned to face the mares. "And sorry I ruined beach day."

Bon Bon nodded. "Oh, well that wasn't really the beach. But you'll make it up to me."

"Please no." I shrunk down into my sheets.

Bon Bon smiled and put her hoof on my chest. "Oh no, you're taking me to an actual beach. So, I hope you have some money saved up."

I frowned hard. "I would...you didn't let me take the second job so--"

"Ryan...stop." Bon Bon rubbed my stomach. "This little dumbshit move aside, you really need to calm down."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Bon Bon, there's no good TV and they're barely setting up internet in Canterlot, what else am I supposed to do?"

Bon Bon sat back and shrugged. "Sex? You could fix the house? Go to school?"

I growled softly. "Vocational degrees count.... If I'd finished it." I grumbled and turned to Bon Bon. "I'm not great with tools, and my dick is about to fall off. I could run a store, I could-- I can.... I could cut hair...." I dropped back into my pillow. "Euuurgh."

Bon Bon cocked her head. "You can cut manes?"

"I said hair." I shifted around in my bed. "That's actually what I was leaning to before I came to Equestria." I laughed softly. "Everyone back home called me a fag. They were...they were not completely wrong." I frowned hard. "I got a little weird back when I was training."

Bon Bon chuckled softly. "I thought you worked for some human company? Isn't that how I hired you?"

I nodded. "They told people, hey do this, and we did it. It was like a temp agency with no requirements."

Bon Bon scratched her head. "So they sent a mane stylist to make candy?"

I shrugged slightly. "No requirements. So long as you didn't light someplace on fire, they would find you work. I mean, before that I was a paid escort-- Not a whore!" I wiggled around as Lyra lifted Bon Bon's leg. Bon Bon kicked back and nailed her across the forehead. "Oh!"

"Bucking piss!" Lyra swung around and bolted to the door outside. "Ow!"

Bon Bon stretched her back leg. "I figured you'd done something stupid with Rainbow Dash, was that it?"

I huffed softly. "Yeah...I got drunk on the job because she was spazzing out at a social gathering in Canterlot."

Bon Bon drooped her head down a little. "And you--"

"Look, it's handled. And I just got dumb drunk." I looked off towards my window to the outside world. "Anyways, which beach are you talking about?"

Bon Bon shook her head. "Either, or."

I turned to face her. "Bon Bon, lived in New Jersey for my whole life up until last November. I don't even know what this country looks like on a map."

Bon Bon rolled her eyes hard. "Two shores, we boarder the icecap on the north and Saddle Arabia in the south. So, we can either go to Baltimare or Manehattan in the east or, Van Hoover or Los Pegasus in the west. I'll let you pick."

I nodded. "Should probably wait until we get out of here first."

Bon Bon sighed. "Yeah, are they going to release you soon?"

I shrugged again. "No idea. They probably told you more."

Bon Bon groaned. "Dehydration and a minor case of crotch rot.... By the way, have I mentioned you're stupid?"

I sighed. "Not enough."

Bon Bon put her hoof on my bed. "You know, it's a good think you're sweet."

I laughed gently. "Well, we do work in a--" Bon Bon's smile turned to an immediate frown. She shoved my bed away with all her weight. "Holy shit!" I bounced off the wall with a plasticy rattle. "Bon Bon, why?!"

Bon Bon shook her head. "Joke, dead, don't, make, it." She turned to the door. "I'll go find Lyra. You sit there and feel shame."

I watched her leave, her tail swatting loudly as she dipped out. "Jesus...candy mare not happy. Sour can--" I saw a hoof jut into the room, upraised and shaking. "Okay! Okay.... God damn."