"Why, he screamed, why must it be this way!?" I screamed, reenacting the scene for Lyra. "I drew my sword from my friends chest, tossing it aside and gently helping him towards the ground. Jan, I shouted setting the dying man into the dry grass that surrounded the single tower in the endless steppe, Jan it didn't have to be like this!"

Lyra carefully carried my stuff inside, "No, he couldn't kill him!"

I continued my reading while Lyra helped me move into the house, "Jan grabbed my shirt, pulling himself up to meet me face to face. Radek...you remember the farm, you remember when it burned to the ground? Jan tightened his grips on my arms, I remember...I remember when they burned it, when they killed everyone...and I can't let it go...."

Lyra stifled a tear, "No...Jan don't die."

"I let Jan go, shooting upright in a flash and tearing at my hair. I had just shot my friend, he was a murderer, a psychopath, but he was all I had left. I fell to my knees, the crowd I'd saved slowly gathering around me. Fuck...what- what do I do now!? What do I do now!? I screamed, my world torn apart, my home burned, my friend dead by my own hand. God please, help me! And as if sent by Hava, a hand met my shoulder. A soft tender voice pulled me about, face to face with a burned faced peasant girl. Lead, she stated, the crowd of Bosvar I'd saved slowly gathering their possessions and all looking towards me."

Lyra started pushing a box in, walking backwards and forcing it inside with her flanks, "Oh no way!"

"Way," I stated with a stern tone, "And as the crowd drew closer, watching me with rapt attention, I spoke my final piece. I am no king, I lead no man, not even myself. With my life given back to the fates, I walked away, away from Jan, away from the lost settlers, away from the people that had taken everything, and away from the guilt of those I could not save. ...The end."

Lyra let out a sharp squeal, throwing a box down in the living room of my new home, "Sequel!"

I snapped the book shut, "Uh...I think the guy is still writing it."

"Awwwww!" Lyra groaned, heading back outside. "Oh...all the boxes are inside!"

I looked around the modest pile of clothes and my other belongings, "Sweet, thanks for the help." I gave a quick look towards the bedroom, the last place these boxes had to go and spotted Bon Bon peeking in around the door frame. "Hey, why you hiding?"

Bon Bon looked me up and down, "Nothing, no reason."

I tilted my head. "Well...you wanna come in here?"

Bon Bon looked towards Lyra as she looked through my things. "No...you seem fine on your own...."

I waited until alone with Lyra again. "Uh...is she jealous?" I asked, walking towards the door.

Lyra popped her head out of my boxes, a glove stuck on her horn, "Huh? Oh, probably."

"Hmm, well sorry to say, Lyra, I'm not really gonna rail ya just for helping me move. Now come on, I gotta return the stupid cart."

Lyra bolted over, "Can I ride in the cart?"

I got into position in front of the wagon, "Eh, why not."

Lyra let out a sharp squeal and hopped into the cart, "Can I ask you things?!"

I lifted the front of the cart up and started lugging it towards the rental place. "Well...I guess?"

"Best human.... Uh, why are people from New York jerks?"

I felt a crick start to form in my neck, "Uh...probably because you tried to randomly hug them...that'd be my guess. We're not a very huggy bunch...."

"Well that's no fun.... So, what's it like having fingers?"

I pulled the cart through town, ponies courteously clearing the way. "Uh...I can't really describe it, because I've never lived without them.... I assume it would be...well, bad. So...it's normal for me...."

Lyra's hooves tapped on the cart. "Alright.... Uh...that's gross...."

I craned my head around, "What?"

Lyra smiled nervously, "Uh...can you keep a secret?"

"Is this bad? Like did you murder someone?"

Lyra walked to the front of the cart and whispered into my ear, "I stuck my horn in a light socket...and uh...you were thinking about Bon Bon's lips."

I stopped dead, staring straight ahead, straight past the ponies and buildings and out into space. "...Lyra...how- I- what the hell?" I set the cart down and turned to face her. "Okay...you stuck your horn in a light socket...why?"

Lyra smiled wide, "I uh.... I made a bet with some human named Kenny, and I won like a hundred dollars!"

I started blustering and spazzing out, "I- wh- what the fuck did you bet!?"

Lyra bobbed her head lazily left and right, "Uh, I said my horn would light up, he said it wouldn't, and I won."

I floppy to my knees, resting my head against the front of the cart, "...Alright, second question, why do you know what I was thinking?"

Lyra put a hoof on my head, "Like a day after I did it, I started feeling all weird, and uh...long story short, I can do this-" Lyra lit up her horn, enveloping my head in faint magic, "-and no I'm not crazy."

I grumbled loudly, "...What am I thinking, right now?"

Lyra bit her tongue, "Um...Bon Bon's.... Bon Bon in pants...."

I let out a quick huff, "Panties...so, you can't see everything you freaking witch."

Lyra let out a quick gasp, "But we're friends!"

I hoisted the cart back up, "And? You're still a witch, you lack the penis to be a warlock."

"I'm not a hag, I'm not a wizard either!" Lyra stamped her hooves to exaggerate her point, "I am the best pony, straight out of Newfoundland!"

I groaned loudly, "Why is the damn portal in that shit ball island anyways?"

"Iunno." Lyra stated as eloquently as possible.

I focused on the path taking a hard right onto the driveway of the rental shop. "Lyra, here." I pulled out a small slip and handed it behind me. "Take that inside, I'll find some place to drop this off."

Lyra hopped off the cart, trotting off towards the actual building. I found an empty space to put the cart and parked it. Lyra quickly popped out of the shop just as quick as she'd entered. "I did it!"

"Alright...that's great." I lead Lyra off the rental lot and towards home. "So what now?"

Lyra made a funny face, her lips scrunched up to the side. "Uh.... Well...you probably want some alone time with Bon Bon...I'll just go do something else...."

"Nah," I stated, walking into the denser parts of town, "Come one, help me pick something out for her, while I've got my wallet."

Lyra lit up, sparks flying off her horn, "Can I get stuff too?! I...I can pay you back, but my money is still all human and junk...."

"How--" I sighed deeply and puffed out my cheeks, "How long were you on earth?"

Lyra rolled her neck, "Uuuuuuh, a year? I went to China, I went to Europe, I spoke German, I went to the beach! The beach was pretty sweet...lots of...big, people in bikinis."

"Eeeuuugh," I shuddered, rubbing my arms, "I know what you--" I stopped dead as I spotted Rainbow Dash sitting on a bench down the road. "...Shit.... Lyra...you know Bon Bon, take this-" I pulled my wallet out and held it for her, "-I need to take care of something."

Lyra looked up at me with a bit of a worried look. "...Oh...Oh...oh no... that's bad." She mumbled, lowering her head and tucking my wallet into her saddlebags. "Uh, I could help you...understand what--"

I shook my head, "Don't...don't get involved in this, I need to work on this, sort it out." I straightened out my shirt and started towards the bench. I spotted Fluttershy sitting a few feet away, trying to seem inconspicuous as she played overwatch. "...Just...be cool Ryan, be good, be calm...." I walked up to the bench and plopped down next to Rainbow Dash. "...Dash...I take it this isn't coincidental...."

Rainbow Dash nodded sullenly, gingerly lifting her head and watching Lyra wander down the street. "It's my fault...."

I interlaced my fingers and sat back, "What do you mean? What's your fau--"

"I thought you wanted me.... I mean...every girl does right? Every girl thinks it's gonna be romantic...that the first time is with the one you're supposed to love forever...but, I guess that's not how it's supposed to be."

I rubbed my mouth, "I don't think mistake is the right word...but what happened, I think it was clearly a drunken mistake. It was...it was anger, two brash people getting fucked and butting heads until something gave way." I looked down at my hands, "You're beautiful, Dash, I'm not sure if you know that...but it's true."

Rainbow Dash leaned against my arms, tears dripping from her cheeks, "Then why not?"

I took a deep breath and put my arm around her, cupping her body, "It's just not gonna happen. Rainbow Dash, I know that fiery mare is still in there, and even if we did manage to make things work...it wouldn't be a stable relationship, it would be two volatile people pretending things are okay."

Rainbow Dash let out a meager squeak, "I just- it's my fault. You're not supposed to be with someone you don't love, someone you just met...but I just thought you--"

I pulled her hard against me, "It's no one's fault. It happened, there's no changing that...there's no.... I can't give you your first time back...but I'll be here, I mean I can't just let you turn from the bright ball of brash mare turn into some depressed wreck."

Rainbow Dash snuggled against me. "...I'm scared...."

"Oh what?"

"I'm not...I'm not clean anymore.... I- you- we were together, you were inside me... nopony else is gonna want to be with me after I've been used--"

"Used?!" I snapped, looking down at her, "Rainbow Dash...you're not used, I- what we did was two people getting frustration out, clearing the air--"

"But it's never going to be the same! Every time somepony--" she curled up, lifting her tail and clutching it to her chest, "Dirty mares have just sex.... Good ponies make love...not just- they don't just buck, or fuck, or--"

I rubbed her right foreleg, "Rainbow Dash, does being raped ruin a woman? Does not being a virgin mean you have to be a whore? Does one mistake screw up all your chances? No, of course not! And you, you of all people won't have to worry about finding someone to love!" I lifted my hand up, planting it into the side of her head, "But I'm not that person...because I just don't love you...not like that."

"But I'm not--"

"Have you looked around?" I snapped, the way ponies look at you, you think it's just cause you're colorful? You think they look at you just because you do trick!? Rainbow Dash ponies look at you because they want to, and they must see something they like or they'd stop looking! And maybe some people are gonna stare at you because you're bright and colorful, maybe some will stare because you're brash, but you need to find the people that will look at you because it's you. Find the people that watch you because it's you, not because of the way you look or sound, but for the mare in here-" I poked her head with my finger, "Because the mare in there is infinitely more interesting than any trick you could ever do!"

Rainbow Dash let out a soft sniffle. "...But I'm not smart...I just do tricks and sports and--"

"You don't have to be smart to be interesting, you don't need to be strong to be interesting. For the love of god Rainbow Dash, I knew who you were before you hired me! I knew about you from Equestrian history, Tirek, Discord, Luna, I mean if you don't think saving the world from eternal night is going to turn some head, if you think just because it's not your first time that it can't be your best time.... Well then you're an idiot." I stated dryly. "I mean...for real, if you think you're not interesting you're just fucking stupid."

There was a long quiet, a painful quiet. "Ryan...." she whispered, gently tugging her foreleg free, "Don't bucking call me stupid!" She screamed, slamming her hoof up and uppercutting me.

"Gah- fuck!" I snapped, tucking my mouth into the crook of my elbow, "What the fuck!?"

Rainbow Dash hopped off the bench with an amazing energy about her, "Well, don't be a jerk! I mean who the hay calls me stupid?! I'm Rainbow Dash, I'm- I'm awesome!" She snapped with only slight hesitation. "...I'm awesome.... It feels good to feel awesome again."

I rubbed my mouth and stretched my jaw, "Well fuck, great for you, but maybe don't uppercut a bitch!" I stood up and shook my head, "Fuckin' Ryu!"

Rainbow Dash turned her head up, the pep exploding out of her, "Well don't be a jerk!" Thing grew quiet as we stood off in the street, "...But uh.... Ryan...thanks." She made sure no one was looking and pulled herself tight against my waist. "You're still a jerk though."

"And you're still an emotionally unstable psycho!" I yelped, running my hand along the back of her head, "Seriously that really, really, hurt."

Rainbow Dash broke the hug. "Um sorry. I didn't mean to actually hurt you."

"Well ya did.... Screw it, call it even for the hotel." I waved it off, wanting to head home and get some ice.

Rainbow Dash let out a nervous giggle, "Yeah...right.... It's nothing--"

"It wasn't nothing, but it wasn't the end of the world." I stated, rubbing my jawline. "Now seriously...can we move on?"

Rainbow Dash smiled wryly. "Already done." She turned on a dime and started trotting off towards the hiding Fluttershy.

"Eeeee, that was so romantic and junk!" Lyra screamed, bolting over, "That was adorable!"

I glared down at the mare, her bags now laden with gift boxes and her magic occupying a small ice cream cone levitating before her face. "...Give me that." I growled, yanking the cone free and jamming it against my chin. The cold was a welcome change from the throbbing pain in my lower jaw. "God damn she hits hard...."

Lyra started squeaking sadly, "Ice cream...no...."

Author's Note