Awake, Mage of Stars; Prologue

By Lonelydarkness

How did you get here?! Whatever, it doesn't really matter now, does it? Well, seeing as you likely won't be leaving this place for some time now, how about a word of advice?

I realize that there are many things in life you should not do; Cast pearls before swine, eat of the forbidden fruit, try to avoid death--and taxes, or allow people to tread on you. I did all these things and lived to tell about it--in a way.

...And by that I mean to say that I am still alive, yet I am imprisoned here. Possibly. The reason? Why, it is all of the above things-- of course!

Did I confuse you?

Yes? No?

Then allow me to enlighten you, mortal. You see--or maybe not--I am a very famous person. That alone--by modern standards--would be excuse enough to be so confusing and likely insane. But wait, there's more! There always is.

I am an incredibly powerful mage, who is imprisoned within a crystalline cavern, deep beneath Brittan--or as it is called nowadays "The U.K.".

Still confused? Even more so than when we began? Then either you don't know who I am, or you don't believe me. Apparently either response is acceptable nowadays. Before I continue to ramble, perhaps my name is in order--though I have lots.

You may call me; Myrddin Emrys, Merlin Ambrosius, the old guy, Star Swirl, or--as I have recently been called--Beardo. If you must call me the old guy, make sure you use the.

Why so many names? When you get to be as famous as I am, you can call yourself whatever you want.

You want me to explain their origins specifically? Piss off, you Git!

...I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've seen any--living--thing. You have no idea how lonely it can get down here...

Anywho, they call me Myrddin Emrys in Wales--'cause they're special, Merlin everywhere else on Terra--as well as the old guy, and Beardo--but I am called Star Swirl, the Bearded on Equis.

I saw that spark of recognition on your face there for a second, but now it's gone--damn-it.

I take it you wanna know where Equis is then? Fine.

It was well over a thousand years ago, in a galaxy which is actually relatively close. What? Expecting me to say something else? Well, that's just too damn bad then, isn't it? Star Wars died with Jar-jar Binks, and I'm not gonna dig it up for one lousy joke...

...I regret nothing I just said. But I digress--

In this relatively close galaxy--currently allotted a series of numbers, dashes and letters by the American NASA Space team--there is an astronomical anomaly, the likes of which should be impossible. A geocentric solar system.

This small, green planet is home to a large number of creatures. Many of these creatures are capable of manipulating magic...

You're talking to a 1400-year old wizard, yet you question other intelligent life? Seriously? How do I weep for humanity! Let me count the ways!

...Don't get it? Fuck you. If you got it, here's a nice bowl of figgy pudding. What was I talking about again?

...Oh yeah! Aliens!

...Don't you look at me like that!

*Ahem* Anyways, the many magical creatures on this planet are also highly intelligent. They have even formed complex societies and governments--despite the fact that one of these races has no means of manipulating any kind of tool. 'Cause magic--ain't it great? *Smack!*

Now I'm sure the next question you're going to be asking me is: "Why do I care?" Well, that is an excellent question.

The Minotaurs are the most like humans...

Wait, you wanted me to answer that? UGH! Fine.

...Has anyone ever told you it's a bad idea to question an unstable person? ...Seriously! ...Whatever.

I'm telling you this because it's leading up to what I did immediately after I woke up for the first time in 1000 years--ya' know, big stuff. It seemed like it was important--but you don't care about that do you?

No, of course you don't; people today only listen to you if it entertains them! Well what if I told you that this story just might be the most interesting thing you've ever heard?

Of course! Now you're listening! ...Yeah, I have an interesting story for you.

It's a story of power, intrigue, death, immortality, and the meaning of life! ...42.

...I may have been kidding about the last part... The rest is all real though! I promise!

Yes, a promise--indeed. Though before we begin, I must tell you; I have not always been as you see me. A double life, filled with debauchery, deception, destruction, delight, and death--the recipe for the ultimate entertainment.

Know that as I tell you this, you will have been the only mortal to know this tale. You must tell no one of what you see--or don't--or hear here.

If the temptation is too much for you, then I suggest you turn around here and now. Leave this cave the way you came--how did you get here anyhow?--and live forever with your intense curiosity. It will forever gnaw at the back of your mind, begging you to appease it somehow or forget altogether, driving you slowly insane, as curiosity is wont to do. You will never see another peaceful night sleep for all eternity, alive or dead!

Should you tell others of this, I will flay you alive, roll you in salt, and crush all your ribs with a ball-point hammer! Then I'll carve your heart out with a rusty wooden spoon and feed it to the nearest soul consuming entity I can find!

How will I get a rusty wooden spoon? Why, with magic--duh!

...

Oh, you're still here? Well, if you're truly intent on listening, I suppose I can't dissuade you.

But seriously, if you tell someone about this I will find the most painful way to kill someone and make it last as long as magically possible! (Just so you know, that's likely longer than your natural lifespan)

...

Fine, you seem determined... I'll tell you. But if you start to see what I'm describing, don't worry about it... I'm a professional!

Author's Note

...What have I done?! This is the. Worst. Possible. Thing! I must kill this before it breeds!

...Seriously though, tell me what you thought. Mind you, this is only the prologue, the first chapter will be much longer!