Inspector's Adventures!

Welcome reader, Joey here! This chapter, we learn why Mondays are evil, and why you should not drink and or drive. Also, important message about why you should not drink if you are too young at the bottom.

"Hey Vinyl, what day is it?" I ask, while still in my half-asleep state.

"The seventeenth, now give me 5 more minuets." Oh good god and Mormon Jesus the comedian no.

"Oh good god no. Vinyl, where's my shotgun?" Time to call Doc and tell him it's that time of the year again.

"In your closet. Now lemme sleep, wake me up when Neon gets here." Ugh I do not want a repeat of last time this happened to me.

"Vinyl, you can not leave the house today. Call your friend and reschedule."

"Now I know I must be dreaming. What did you say Joey?" She says, I can definitely hear the sass in her voice.

"Call your friend and tell him to reschedule for tomorrow. It is too dangerous today." Not gonna let any of my new friends die.

"What's going on?" She asks, finally awake.

"It's that time of the year, and too many things are going good. Every year, when I think I'm safe, it's always around this time something goes and ruins my life." EVERY FREAKING TIME

"What do you mean?" She asks innocently.

"Today, my squad died, my best friend died the year after that, the rest of my friends died the next year after that, and so that's why I'm worried. Call Doc and tell him to round up the girls and get them to meet me here." Do not fight me when it comes to this Vinyl.

"Joey, I think you're paranoid." Oh god.

"Last person who said that was my friend Billy, right before he took a bullet to the face. I do not want to lose you Vinyl. Or anyone for that matter. But it's the same thing every year, 'Joey relax, you're just paranoid.' then BOOM! People die." I can still see him with his cool face on, talking to ladies.

"If that were the case, wouldn't I be dead by now?" You have a point there sweetheart.

"Maybe you're lucky. I'll tell you what, if you're sooo worried, I'll take you out and show you that we have nothing to worry about. Sound cool?" She then makes her cute face I can never say no to.

"Fine, but I want Doc with me at all times. His Knowledge of magic should come in handy." I would also appreciate a medical professional to stay with us, should anything happen.

"I'm a unicorn too you know." She obviously wants alone time.

"But he took 4 years of medical school." I retort. "And should something happen, I want you safe."

"Fine, if it makes you feel better." She replies. We Head over to Twilight's library.

"Hey Doc, it's that time of the year. Tell the other girls to watch their backs. We are gonna spend the day with Vinyl, afterward check on everyone and keep them safe. And don't tell Vinyl the second reason for why this day is so important." I whisper to him.

"Ok Joey, but they will find out eventually. And I am sure they will-" I cut him off before he could even entertain that thought.

"Look, if you tell them, I will kill you, I don't care if you are my friend. Got it pal?" I tell him in an unusually serious tone.

"Ok, but if you tell them now, you could prevent it from snowballing." Shut the f**k up Doc.

"Look, you don't have to worry about it because you aren't like me. You weren't made in a lab. If they learn, they might not accept me for me anymore. I have come too far, Heinz. Too. Far. Now if you tell her or anyone, I will end you." I do not like being so grim with Doc, but this instance called for it. "Now let's go."

"Finally! So where to? That fancy French place? Sugar Cube Corner?" Wha-.

"I thought you were taking us somewhere?" I legitimately did.

"Nah. That was to get you out of the house. So where to?" I heard a about a new bar.

"Well this bar opened up, and I thought 'why not?' So you in?" Doc is not much of a drinker, so I am counting on him to get us home.

"Why not? It's been a while since I went to a bar." Alright!

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(One Alcoholic Cider Drinking Contest later)

ZA le WHO Bah leegh bar, mon Jeagerman. (Translation Oh god, even my thoughts are drunk)

"Hey there girl, you must be Vinyl, how bout a round of drinks, on me?" FOOBAR! (translation AW HELL NAW!)

"Hey! Hey you! Fuggof my girl! Shez wit meh! I'll kill yah if you touch her!"

"Shuddap Joeh! I kin make mah own deciszons! Now whazzat about drinks?"

"Oh good god Joey, I go to the bathroom for one second and already you're piss drunk!"

"Shuddap Dawk, helme get princess her away frum her boyfriend!"

"Shudup Joeh! I kin date who evuur I want!"

"They onleh want yah fur yah bodeh! I'd treat yah rite, but my rules furbod et."

"Jesus! Both of you are coming home with me now!"

"Here's mah numbah! Call meh kay?"

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(at Vinyl's house)

"Hey Octavia, take your drunk lovebirds back."

"I AINT HER BOY FRIEND DAWK!"

"Shudup, you know you want me."

"Let me guess, you tried the new bar didn't you Vinyl."

"It wuz Joeh's idea."

"Tru. Mah bad."

"Ugh, now I'm going to have to Re-reschedule Neon. Joey, as punishment for getting Vinyl drunk, you will have extra chores all next week.

"Eh, I deserve it. Sorreh Vinyl." I can feel mah thoughts clear. Still a little drunk, so sorreh if there are any occasional flub-ups.

"Ok, beautiful, looks like you and me are sharin a bed togethah"

"Vinyl, stop trying to seduce me, Octy gave me a potion. Why haven't you drank yours?"

"Cuz ur sexy!"

"Vinyl, you know my rules, I don't date here." She now attempts her cute face, but she kinda messes it up. "If it's that time of the month, just tell me."

"Ur no fun."

"You're drunk."

"Ur beautiful."

"If you're gonna try and stroke my ego, it won't work."

"Then I'd like to-"

"THIS IS RATED TEEN VINYL!" Nice try. "Now if you need me I'm gonna be on the couch." And this is why I now only drink in solitary. Jesus, it's like the universe WANTS me to date, BUT I will NEVER date. If I did, I may as well get married, but I was human before, so if I date them now, that would imply to the readers that I had this planned out. Oh god, they haven't left yet.

Hey guys, Joey here. Now if you are not 21 or the legal age of drinking in your country or where you live, please do not drink alcohol. You will get drunk, try to seduce your friends, and agree to do stuff you would never do if you weren't drunk. Many people die from drinking and driving, not to mention the people who die from kidney and liver failure. I don't advocate underage drinking, or drinking and driving. So please wait until you are the required age before going to a bar. I do not want my writer to get sued, even if he is an idiot. So please, don't drink if you're not allowed to. Ok guys? Even though I doubt you will head my advice and probably thumb down the chapter, just don't ok? Remember, no underage drinking and no drinking and driving. I don't want you to get hurt. Now stay awesome.