Inspector's Adventures!

Welcome back readers, sorry my incompetent writer has decided to download some gaming software or something like that, I don't know, but anyways welcome back. And thus, my forth wall breaking session ends for now. But a new friend who likes to do so rears his ugly head.

It was an ordinary day, the day it happened. Except it was a little more clear because I had finally got a job while my writer was busy with his life stuff. But I woke up to this: "Giddy up little horsey!"

"Listen kid, you get one of those, and then you die." I do NOT do kiddie rides. I open my eyes more and see a miniature discord sitting on my back. Did I leave the portal to other fan fictions open? Has Super Stallion done a collab? No. My writer would have told me about a good writer doing this beforehand so I would be on my best behavior. "Who are you?" I ask, still half asleep.

"Discord's son. Unlike other children I do not have a speech impediment." Makes sense, my writer could barely input my fabulous Boston accent. "Now take me to faraway lands!" Oh my f**king god he did not say that.

"If your daddy couldn't turn me into a rubber chicken, you would be dead right now. Do I make myself clear?" I state to the little cretin.

"Sure, but he is in trouble for messing with Celestia. Look for your friend Vinyl, I had some fun with a marker with her." OH HELL NAW! Sure enough, I look on the couch and a paralyzed Vinyl Scratch was on the couch with a marker mustache.

"Joey, could you bring your friend over here so I can bite him. Also tell Neon I will not be making it to practice." A lesser man- err pony stallion would've taken advantage of her disposition right now but I don't date because I was at one point a human being.

"I will go get Twilight or Doc, don't move." Oh carp! (YES I said carp, a fish. Not crap. CARP.) A pun! Everyone knows puns are horrible! How could I be so stupid.

"That was so funny, I forgot to laugh. If this kid tries to ride me into Valhalla or whatever it is they ride into, I will bite him." replied a very annoyed Vinyl Scratch.

"Hey Twilight! Oh, hey Doc. What are you doing lying around?" I ask a downed Doc Legend.

"Oh, nothing. Cursing discord's name and very existence. You do know Twilight moved out, don't you?" Oh man, he's right.

"Sorry, I did not. Why did no one tell me?" I ask him.

"I thought you knew." Nobody tells me anything.

"She slept here a few nights ago." I curiously ask him.

"She visits often. She usually sleeps here because she doesn't think she likes being so far from her friends. Now care to stand me up?" I do so.

"Sure. What did Discord do exactly?"

"He paralyzed all the unicorns 'by accident' he says. Is Vinyl mobile?"

"Nope, Discord left me in charge of his kid. When did he get a kid?"

"He exploited the writer by threatening him in the real world. He said he would riddle his computer with errors and steal all his hats. He loves his hats." Makes sense.

"Now can you still use magic?"

"Only teleportation, the irony of it is I can only teleport others. How about I take you to Twilight, and I have a theory to test, touch my hoof." I do so, and in a flash of light we are in Canterlaught. Well Celestia should help us. I almost get into the castle but... "Care to take me with you?"

"Sure." Doc needs to eat more healthily is all I have to say. "Next time, eat a salad."

"Shut up." When we enter, we see an incapacitated Celestia, Luna, and Twilight.

"Hello Joey, nice of you to drop in. Have you seen Discord? I would like a word with him." Celestia calmly asks as I stand her and the rest up.

"He left his kid with me and Vinyl. When did he get a baby Draconequus?" I ask her.

"This is the first I'm hearing of Discord having a child." Twilight and Luna both reply in unison.

"He is very disrespectful." I reply. Then, I hear a disturbingly familiar sound. The very sound that only insane people hear, a whirring, but it felt like it was attempting to control me. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD MY HEAD! DOC, IT'S BACK! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!"

"Oh god, something horrible is happening. Joey, remain calm. My medicine bag is in the library. I'm gonna- and he lost it." Doc replies.

"IT'S IN MY BRAIN! GET IT THE F**K OUT!" At this point I repeatedly bash my head into the wall and soon lose consciousness. I awake several minuets later, and to my surprise, a certain Draconequus was staring down at me.

"Geez, that potion was far more powerful than he let on. Poor Joey here is being driven insane. Sorry for all the mischief today, but I thought the potion would be short range once activated. I didn't intend to freeze everypony. Now Celestia, before Joey wakes up and goes on a psychopathic rampage, could you hand me your shampoo?" Discord, I will have your head for this. As I try to speak, only utter nonsense flows from my mouth. "Why hello Joey! How's babysitting going?"

"You ___ ShUt Up." That was all I could say before being held down against my will as Discord's diabolical potion ran down my throat, I expected horrible thing to happen, but to my surprise, the whirring noises stopped, and I could speak full sentences. "Thank you, Discord, but if your kid tries to ride me like a horsey, I cannot promise him surviving."

"Sure thing, it is much more fun to watch him ride Vinyl instead. She can teleport."

"Now unfreeze everyone- everypony before I kill you for making me go temporarily insane. And get some new babysitters."

"Will do, now off to your home." He says before whisking me back to the house. The first thing I see is a very decorated Vinyl Scratch, with everything, a moustache, a monocle, and whatever else you could think of.

"Tell me you found a way to unfreeze me. I need to teach that brat a lesson." I give her some of the potion discord gave me.

"I do not know how long it takes to take effect." I tell her, before a certain brat appears from behind me.

"In that case, time for me to enjoy this while it lasts." He then snaps, and Vinyl is right side up, and he begins to ride her like a little cowboy. I have to admit it is kinda cute.

"JOEY STOP GIGGLING AND GET THIS LITTLLE GREMLIN OFF ME NOW!" I try to hold back my giggles while trying to catch the little sucker. And then I see a small but familiar potion in his hands, labeled "immobilization potion." I gasp before flying as fast as I could, but too late, I was hit. It starts to take effect from contact on the skin as apposed to drinking it. Jus my luck. Now I am the horse.

"VINYL STOP GIGGLING DANG IT!"

"I cant help it, it's so cute and so funny. And now I can move, TIME FOR REVENGE!" (The following can not be described as it possibly violates the right of children, but we ill never know for sure if it does so this low budget censor will have to do)

"On a side note, reader I am actually physically talking to you, not in my mind this time, but physically. My writer will be gone due to a family crisis. It's up to YOU to..... I don't really know. But I want you to do something. I guess. Goodbye and stay beautiful."

"Hey joey who ya talking to?"

"Shut up Vinyl this is my moment."