Author's Note

I wrote this short story on /mlp/ several years ago.
It had a good enough reception I thought I would do a small series on this concept.
Several lazy years later I finally finished editing it and published it!

Rarity and Princess Twilight Sparkle

Your Anonymous, Equestria's only human resident. How did you get here? How do you get home? Why are you green and have no face? These are all question you given up asking a long time ago. Now you simply just enjoy your life, living rent free in Twilight's place, mooching off Rarity any chance you get, and earning booze money at Sweet Apple Acres.

Today is Saturday and you just woke up like you have always done since finding your self in Equestria. Rolling over to get out of bed, you quickly realize two things. First, you cannot move. Second you appear to be standing...

“Rarity! I think hes come to," cried a familiar female voice. "Anon can you hear me?”

Opening your eyes, you lift your head in the direction of the voice only to be greeted a peculiar sight. Across from you, Princess Twilight Sparkles and Rarity are shackled to the opposite wall. Both mares are restrained in an unnatural standing position with their forelegs stretched above their heads. Under normal conditions you would have had made a clever bondage fetish joke at their expense, but sadly your not a morning person. “Wh- what? Where... Hun?” Shaking the fog of sleep from you head you continue your line of inquiry, “Whats going on? Where are we?”

“I'm not sure," cried the purple alicorn, as she attempts to pull her hoof free of the shackle. "We only woke up a couple of minutes before you did, Anon.”

“Is it not obvious? Its that deviant, Jigsaw!” screeches Rarity. “Who else would lock up helpless damsels... and Anon, in such a drab dungeon?!”

Really taking in your surrounding for the first time you notice that you are in fact in some type of dimly lit makeshift dungeon. The far wall consist of metal sheets bolted together. There are a series of shackles protruding from the floor and walls every couple feet. Up above there are a series of objects hanging from the ceiling hiding in the shadows just out of reach of the room's one lit lamp.

“Who's this Jigsaw? Why would he kidnap... ponynap us?” you ask while absently inspecting your own shackles.

“No pony knows for sure,” replied Twilight. “All we know for sure is that he ponynaps helpless ponies in the middle of the night, takes them to one of his many dungeons, and forces them to play his twisted games.”

“The most dreadful part is...” Rarity pauses for what you can only presume is dramatic affect, “No pony has survived any of his games!”

You furrow your brow at her statement. “If no pony has ever survived then how do you know that he makes them play games in the first place?”

“Well, you see... Heh...” Rarity's cheeks start to flush red as she thinks of a reply. “Okay, you caught me, so I was over exaggerating.”

“Exaggerating or not," Twilight cuts in. "I don't plan to stick around long enough to find out first hand.” You and Rarity both nod in agreement.

The room grows silent as the three of you start brainstorm. Its not too long before you have a eureka moment. Snapping your finger you cry out, “I got it!” Rarity and Twilight's heads snap up in anticipation. “You two are an alicorn and a unicorn can't you just magic us out of here?”

Both mares sigh in frustration. “Anon dear, that's the first thing Twilight tried when we first woke up.”

“Jigsaw thought ahead," interjected Twilight. "He wrapped our horns in duct tape to prevent us from teleporting free.”

You stare at her blankly waiting for her to continue. When its clear shes done with her explanation, you kindly ask her to elaborate, “Duct tape? Really? All you need to stop a an alicorn is regular old duct tape?”

Twilight visually stiffens at your words. “This is one of the many reasons why Luna has been trying to get it outlawed. Besides its not like we would just let some one walk up to us and cover our horns in-” Twilight is interrupted by a loud burst of radio static.

Looking around the three of you find the source of the noise to be a PA system built into the wall several feet above the mares.

Soon the static is replaced by a deep eerie voice, “Hello, Anonymous Unknown. You have been a terrible friend. You have neglected those who clothed you, those who gave you shelter, and those who gave you companionship. I would like to rectify that.

“Lets play a game, Anonymous. Direct your attention to the devices above your heads." More lights come on relieving a series of metallic canisters hanging from the ceiling.

"Each dispenser contains 3 liters of pre-chewed bubble gum. In 10 minutes each device will release its contents, ruining Rarity's hair, Twilight's books, and Chippy the wood chipper.”

Another light to your right turns on revealing a pile of books from the Golden Oak Library and a wood chipper.

“Yes! Not even Chippy, your only companion from you days working at Sweet Apple Acres, is safe from this madness! But not all is lost. In your pocket is a remote. You may surrender your self to the sticky-icky doom to save one and only one of your friends. The choice is yours.” There is a electronic screech just before the PA system goes silent.

Reaching down you find the shackles on you wrist inhibit your attempts to reach your pant's pockets. Doing a little jig, you are able to move your hips close enough to your left hand to pull out the remote Jigsaw had mention.

“Anon... Save my books.”

Looking up from the remote, you are met with princess quality puppy eyes. “What about Rarity? Bubble gum in her hair is a little more devastating then -”

“She passed out before Jigsaw mentions that you could save her. She wont be any the wiser when she comes to.”

“I don't kn-”

"SAVE MY FUCKING BOOKS OR I WILL RIP YOU DICK OFF THROUGH YOUR ASS!"

You feel a cold sweat spread over your neck and back. You cannot recall ever hearing a pony threaten someone, let alone swear. Looking at the remote you see that it has three buttons each labeled with a scribbly lines. This is one of the few times you really wish you took Twilight up on her offer to teach you to read Equestrian.

If you randomly press a button, then at best you have a one in three chance of guessing which buttons will spare Twilight's books and in turn yourself. At worst you will probably have a ten second head start before Twilight rages through her manacles and peels that duct tape off her horn.

Taking a deep breath you close your eyes and press the middle button... nothing happens. You press it a couple more times for good measure and still nothing happens.

“Uhm... Mr Jigsaw, I made my choice... can we hurry this up?” your request is met with only silence. “I- I have to use the little human's room if you catch my drift.”

The PA system squeaks back to life as the eerie voice returns, “Oh! Sorry, Nony. I'll see if I can't speed up the timer.”

After the PA system goes quiet you hear the sound of spinning gears. Tilting you head up to the source of the noise, you look on in horror as the pre-chewed gum is shot from a small cannon towards your face. The gum lands with a sickening smack, completely envelopes your face.

Soon after you feel the shackles around your arms give way. Unable to breath you quickly start clawing the gum from your mouth and nose.

“You saved that stupid WOOD CHIPPER?”

Still desperately clearing an air way you realizing you will not have the time to peal the rest of the gum off your entire face, you blindly choose a direction and run at full speed.

Its not long before you run head first into something cold and hard. You feel your legs give way and you fall to the ground. Before you black out the last thing you hear is the sound of approaching hoof-steps and the sound of duct tape pealing free.