Chapter 21: ID? What dose the I stand for?

After Pinkie Pie had her fill of my still functioning dick she decided to go wake Fluttershy.  Well shit.  Now I have to find a way to kill time.  I went into the kitchen, and noticed that the basement door was shut, it had a piece of paper on it that said, “Stay out.  That applies to everyone, but mostly Matt, because he is an asshole.”  Well I know when I’m not wanted.  I should try to get back for the many times Stewart has cock blocked me, but I’ll just hold onto the idea that something will go horribly wrong and fuck up his entire threesome.

        After watching TV, and hearing the sounds of Fluttershy moaning I decided I was bored out of my fucking skull.  Two sexy girls, and still I somehow find a way to be bored.  I need more hobbies.  I heard the basement door open and noticed Rainbow Dash getting some water out of the refrigerator.  She strutted into the living room where I was watching TV and sat down on the couch.

        “Wow that was fun.  I can see why you gloat about it constantly.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “I will assume it was the best three minutes of Twilight's life.”  I said.

        “Wow you are so funny.  You are just jealous that you didn’t get to have sex with me.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to have sex with me?”  Rainbow dash asked.

        “Apparently you are ready for it, seeing your wings and all.  They look pretty erect.”  I said back.

        “I um... I was just... Whatever.  I’m going back downstairs.”  Rainbow Dash said with a blush, then left.

        I still can’t tell if she likes me, or she just doesn’t know how to handle my humor.  Whatever, better go see what Pinkie, and Fluttershy are doing.  Hope Pinkie didn’t overwork her.

        I made my way through the hallway, and to my room.  I saw Pinkie laying with Fluttershy, passed out yet again.  They have all the fun without me sometimes.  I sat down on the corner of the bed.  Fluttershy slowly started to wake up.  She sat up, and Pinkies arm fell away from her chest.

        “Oh, hi Matt.  I hope our moaning didn’t interrupt whatever it is that you were doing.”  Fluttershy said hazily.

        “No, not really.  Wasn’t really doing much anyway.  I had a fun conversation with Rainbow Dash.  Pissed her off, as far as I am concerned my daily goals are fulfilled.”  I said.

        Fluttershy smiled sheepishly.  “What about annoying Stewart.  I’m sure that is also apart of your daily goals.”  She said with a smile.

        “That’s not really a goal.  It’s more of an expectation.  What kind of man would I be if I didn’t call him a faggot every five to ten minutes?”  I said.

        “Maybe you should try to be a little nicer to Rainbow Dash, and your friend Stewart.  I’m sure they would return the favor.”  Fluttershy said.

        “It’s pretty much expected of me to be an asshole.  Why would I break their expectations?”  I asked.

        “Well, I’m sure they would like you much more if you just treated them nicer.”  Fluttershy said.

        “Where is the fun in that?”  I asked.

        Fluttershy just shook her head and wrapped her arms around me.  We both laid down on our backs, sideways on the bed.  She rested her head on my chest and slowly started to fall back asleep.  My mind started to go back over what had happened.  Finding Pinkie, fucking, finding Rainbow Dash, fucking, finding Fluttershy, fucking, slavery, cage, douche bags.  Man, the past few weeks have been a real adventure.  I need a vacation.  Just as that thought crossed my mind, Pinkie Pie woke up, then jump off the bed with a yawn.  She even awakes like she is on sugar.  Damn.

“Hello everyone!  Oh, sorry, did I wake you up Fluttershy?”  Pinkie asked.

Fluttershy was startled awake, and tightened her grip on my hand.  “No, it’s okay.  I was just about to get up anyway.”  Fluttershy said.

“Well I have a great idea for today!”  Pinkie Pie said.  Fuck, this can’t be good.

“Let’s...go...TO A CLUB!”  Pinkie screamed.

“No.  That is not going to happen.”  I said.

“Awh!  Come on, why not?  I read on the internet that it has drinking, and music!  I LOVE music!  And it has dancing.  What’s not to love?  I mean come on.  We could use some fun, AND partying.  I haven’t partied in such a long time.  I just don’t know what would happen if I went another DAY without it.  Come on!! Please? “  Pinkie said.

        “No.  You don’t have ID.  You need ID to get into a club.”  I said.

        “ID can’t be that hard to come by can it?”  Pinkie asked.

        “Well not for normal people, but people from another world?  Yeah, it’s kinda fuckin’ rare.”  I said.

        “Maybe if we go on the Diablo 3 market area, and if we have enough gold?”  Fluttershy asked.

        “Huh, maybe.. wait what?  Have you been playing my games again?”  I asked.

        “Yes, but this time Stewart helped walk me through them.”  Fluttershy said.

        “Well I guess that’s okay.”  I said.

        “He told me to sell everything you had on your character, and what was in your chest.  He said it makes the game much easier.  And after that he deleted him also.”  Fluttershy said.

        “Goddamnit Stewart.  I delete one little file on his Xbox, and he can never get his fill of vengeance.  Now he has gone and murdered an innocent character.  There will be no vengeance for Reaper...  God rest his soul.”  I said sadly.

        “So can we just by an ID on your Diablo thingy!”  Pinkie asked.

        “No, no we can’t.  You could try to get the most basic form of ID.. a drivers license.”  I said.

        “Cool!  Then let’s get a drivers license!”  Pinkie said.  Fluttershy looked scared about the whole club idea.  I wouldn’t doubt that she would be frightened to death if she went.

        “You would have to go to the DMV, and bring your proof of birth, along with a bank statement, and on top of that,   you would have to live through a 3 hour wait.  And pass a drivers test.  Not as easy as it sounds.”  I said.

        “Why would I need proof of birth?  Aren’t I proof enough!”  Pinkie said, sounding very confused.

        “No, this is America.  You have to prove you won’t blow up anything.  America doesn’t like being blown up.”  I said back.

        “This sounds way too confusing.  I’m going to go ask Rainbow Dash about it.  Maybe her and Stewart will have another idea!  Wait!  I’m sure Twilight will!.”  Pinkie said, and ran to the kitchen, I heard the door to the basement open and then her footsteps faded out.”

        “Um, aren’t Stewart, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight down there doing.. you know..”  Fluttershy said.

        “Now why would that stop Pinkie from asking questions?”  I asked with a smile.

        “Yeah, good point.  She tends to get so caught up in ideas, she forgets about other peoples lives.”  Fluttershy said.

        “What can you do?  Better than Rainbow Dash walking in on us having sex.”  I said.

        I then heard more footsteps coming from the kitchen.  I looked in the doorway of my room and saw Rainbow Dash and Pinkie standing there.

        “Uh.. can I help you?”  I asked.

        “Stewart is um... well..”  Rainbow Dash said thinking about her word choice.

        “Is what?  Did you fuck him to death or something?”  I asked.

        “Well... not to death... more like he can’t walk..”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “Oh...  obvious jokes aside, did you not let him take a break or something?”  I asked.

        “Twilight used her magic to help him... uh... last longer.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “I just bake Matt cupcakes!  After he eats them, he is normally good to go.”  Pinkie said.

        “Yes, thank you Pinkie.”  I said back.

        “And sometimes I even let him help with the icing!”  Pinkie said.

        “YES Pinkie, we understand.”  I said.

        “But by icing... well I think you know what i mean.”  Pinkie said.

        “Goddamnit Pinkie, we get the picture!”  I shouted.

        “But it’s not always the sweet icing... well it doesn’t taste that sweet to me sometimes.. more bitter in a way.. actually-” Pinkie said as she was getting deep into the cupcakes that shall not be named.

        “OKAY WE GET IT.”  I shouted.

        “Damn... you really are kinky aren’t you Pinkie?”  Rainbow Dash asked with a sly smile on her face.  “Maybe we can try a different kind of icing with me helping, if you know what I mean.”

        “Okay, we get it.  You are a lesbian and you approve of vagina.   But right now you and Twilight have demobilized Stewart with your vagina.  That is not good.”  I said.  “Or maybe it is... sure would make his cock blocks happen much less often... Hell if at all.  Your vagina might have did me a favor Rainbow.  Who would've thought I would ever say that.”  I said, thinking of the amount of uninterrupted sex I could be having.

        “Well you have got to help him.  Meanwhile, Pinkie and I shall be baking.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “First of all, I know enough about you to know you can’t cook worth shit.  Also, I have read enough to know that any baking that you do with Pinkie will end up with you tied down in a basement.”  I said.

        “Wow, that sounds pretty hot.  Maybe I should try baking.”  Rainbow said with a perverted smile on her face.

        “Oh Goddamnit.”  I said.  “And how the fuck am I supposed to help Stewart?  I can’t just magically heal his fucking legs or something like that.  Why don’t you have Twilight help him get his legs back up shape.  She can do magic and shit.”  I said.

        “Even though she can somehow do magic without her horn, it will take time for her to learn how to use it without a horn.  She can only do the sexual spells right now”  Rainbow said.

        “HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?”  I asked.

        “It works as a good plot device!  It will allow for more things to become developed in the story!!”  Pinkie said.

        “Good point.  Damn, why aren’t you writing this story?”  I asked.

        “Who says I’m not?”  Pinkie asked.

        “Wow, mind fuck.”  I said.

        “Okay Pinkie, let’s get to baking.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “But first lets go to a club!”  Pinkie shouted.

        “Wouldn’t Stewart want to go?”  Rainbow Dash asked.

        “He can come after he is all healed up.”  Pinkie said

        “YOU AREN’T GOING TO A FUCKING CLUB, YOU NEED ID GODDAMNIT!”  I screamed.

        “Chill.”  Rainbow Dash said.  “Besides I already have a great plan that will NOT fail.  We don’t need ID.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “You aren’t from fucking Star Wars.  That doesn't fucking work.”  I said.

        “What are you talking about.  All we have to do is sneak in.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “You really are only good for your tits aren’t you?”  I asked.

        “And that is exactly how I will get in.  All Fluttershy, Twilight, Pinkie, and I will have to do is show a bunch of cleavage.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “That has got to be the stupidest fucking plan that I have ever fucking heard.  Also, showing the bouncers your breasts is not considered sneaking in.  It’s more like whoring your way in.  But with that being said, it could still work.”  I said.

        “See?  I’m not just good for my looks you asshole.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “Who said your looks were good?  Well whatever, good luck with that whole whoring your way into things.  I’m going to make sure Stewart hasn’t been killed yet.”  I said.  I went down the stairs into the basement and on the blow up mattress I saw Stewart laying down... as I expected.  Twilight was on top of him riding him it would seem.  It’s time to fuck up his fun... or save him.  Hopefully it’s going to fuck up his fun.

        “Maybe you shouldn’t keep casting a spell on him that will destroy his ability to walk more than once?  Just a suggestion.”  I said.

        “Main... are you watching from a post up high?”  Stewart asked.

        “From where I see the ships afar?”  I continued.

        “From a well trained eye”  Stewart also continued.

        “The waves keep on crashing by.”  I said.

        “What are you guys talking about?”  Twilight said, getting her clothes on.

        “Nothing.  I came to ask Stewart  if he wanted to come with me and get something to eat.”  I said with a shit eating grin.

        “Fuck you Main.  Twilight said she will be able to cast a spell to heal it in time.  Or it will just slowly subside.”  Stewart said.

        “Lucky you.  By the way.  The girls want to go to a club.”  I said.

        “Well that isn’t going to fucking happen.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, that’s just what I said.  It would seem they aren’t in the listening mood today.”  I said.

        “They need ID... well among other things.  Besides, one does not simply walk into a club.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, that’s what I said.  Whatever.  Not like they are going to get in.”  I said.

        “Well, why you two discuss our plans, I’m going to go upstairs and tell Rainbow Dash about Stewart’s condition.  And about a few other ways of sneaking into a club.”  Twilight said as she went back up the stairs.

        “So.. Threesomes are pretty fun.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, no shit.  It’s a good way to stay in shape.”  I said.

        “Well your workout plan isn’t working.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you too.  Well I’m going back upstairs in hopes of sex.  Want anything to drink before I go?”  I asked.

        “I’m cool.  Good luck.  And don’t let Twilight help you get it up again.”  Stewart said laughing.

        “I’m sorry.  I don’t have erectile dysfunction.  I don’t need help fucking.”  I said and walked back into the kitchen.

        As I entered the kitchen I saw Pinkie Pie making out with Rainbow Dash while beginning to slip a finger into Rainbow Dash’s pants.  Pinkie had her pants down and Twilight was slowly licking at her pussy.

“You really do have a way with teaching cooking Pinkie.”  I said.

Pinkie broke away from the kiss.  “Yeah, wanna join the class?”  She said with a kinky smile.

“Maybe some other time.  I gotta go talk to Fluttershy before you drag her out and teach her how to cook.”  I said.

        “Your loss.”  Rainbow Dash said, pulling Pinkie in for another kiss.  Man, I can’t wait to tell Stewart about this.

        I walked into my room and saw Fluttershy, naked on my bed, slowly rubbing her clit.  There is just no rest for my dick is there?

        “Hey Fluttershy, it would seem you started without me.”  I said, smiling.

        “I didn’t think you were going to come back.. I got lonely.”  She said.

        “I could never misread one of your smiles.”  I said.  “Before I join you, I need to go do one thing real quick.”

        I walked back down the hallway, and into the kitchen.  I went halfway down the steps into the basement and yelled, “STEWART!  PINKIE, RAINBOW, AND TWILIGHT ARE HAVING HOT LESBIAN SEX!”

        “Fucking liar!”  I heard him yell back.

        I looked to Rainbow Dash and she smiled, and got the idea of what I was trying to do here.  “Oh God Pinkie.  Yes!  Right there!”  She said loud enough for it to travel down into the basement for Stewart to hear.

        “Huh?  Wow does my kissing, and fingering really feel that good?  I’m better at this then I thought!”  She said just enough for Stewart to hear, whether she meant to, or not.

        “You have got to be fucking kidding!  Main!  Don’t you do a fucking thing!  So help me God I will fucking kill you!”  I heard him yell.

        “Don’t worry Stewart, I’ll take good care of Twilight, and Rainbow Dash for you.  You need your rest.”  I said.  “Okay, now back to that talking with Fluttershy.”  I said to the group of ladies in front of me, and made my wake back to my room.

        “Yeah, talking sure.  I can see your pants Matthew.”  Twilight said, taking a pause from licking Pinkies Nether regions.

        “Damn, guess I’m just not that good of a liar now am I?  Have fun you guys.  Don’t stick any kitchen things in your vagina without cleaning them.”  I said and made my way into my room, again greeted by Fluttershy slowly touching herself.

        “Now where was I?”  I said, climbing on top of Fluttershy