Chapter 22: Drugs Are Bad Mkay

*NOTE*  Well I thought I was taking a break, but it would seem I had forgotten that I had already started on a chapter.  So I just decided to finish it.  It's not as long as the last three have been, but hey, it's something.  Enjoy!

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I awoke a few hours later.  The clock indicated that it was almost 11PM.  Fuck, I’ve been asleep for awhile now.  Fluttershy was still sleeping next to me, her chest barely covered by the blue colored sheets that laid on my bed.  Should I wake her?  No, probably not, that would just lead to another half an hour of sex, then crashing.  I put on new clothes from my closet, and walked out into the kitchen.  Oh yeah, there was hot lesbian action happening on theses counters.  So where are the lesbians.  Elusive lesbians, I’ll give them that.

I walked down the stairs that led to the basement, preparing to see fucked up shit, thankfully, there was none.  Just Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight playing Mortal Kombat on the N64.

“I don’t get it Pinkie, how are you so good at video games?”  Asked Rainbow Dash.

“Someone has to make up for Twilight’s lack of skill!”  Pinkie replied with a cheeky smile.

“Very funny you guys.  This game is overly violent anyway.  I would do much better if it was a book.”  Twilight said.

“Yeah, because you can totally rip someones spine out in 64 bit graphics in a book.  I can see how it would transfer well.”  Rainbow said with a smirk.

“Make out!  Hug!  Have sex again!”  I whispered from the stairs.

“Okay!”  Pinkie said, then proceeded to make out with Rainbow Dash.

“What the hay!  Come on Matt, don’t provoke Pinkie to be more perverted than she already is.”  Twilight said.

“I don’t mind.”  Rainbow Dash said after Pinkie realized I was there.

“Hey Matt!  So when are you guys going to take us to the club?  Stewart left to go back home, and when we asked him, he said let Main deal with it!  And here you are, so deal with it!”  PInkie said.

“I thought we already discussed this.  NO clubbing, ever, at all.”  I said.

“Come on, you and I both know you can’t tell Pinkie what to do.  Besides, I wanna go clubbing.  I hear they have more of that whiskey stuff.  That stuff was killer!”  Rainbow said.

“Yeah.  And I would like to study how humans interact with each other in such a social environment as a club.  It would make an excellent find to report to Princess Celestia.”  Twilight said.

“Wait, what?  How humans interact in a social environment?  How the fuck do you think we act?  We get drunk, do drugs, have sex, and then repeat.  That is pretty much what a club is.  And no Pinkie, you can’t try cocaine.”  I said.

“WHY!”  Pinkie complained.

“Because it makes you high, it makes you hype, it makes you really want to go.”  I replied back.  “You already go enough.  You don’t need anymore go in your daily activity.”

“I can NEVER have enough go in my life!”  Pinke said.

“I am not explaining your cocaine addiction to Princess Celestia.  She would probably send me to the moon.  Fuck that.”  I replied back.  “Speaking of your so called God, where the Hell has she been?  I figured she could just teleport here, find you guys, then teleport back.  Well, she could leave Pinkie and Fluttershy, I could do without Gay Pride over there.”

“Oh suck my di-”  Rainbow Dash was about to say.

“It’s Goddess”  Twilight interrupted.

“Oh suck my di-”  I was about to say.

“And.”  Twilight interrupted again.  “She doesn’t have the power to just teleport to other dimensions.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.”  Twilight finished.

“Psh, some God.  Our God can do anything.  He can like, cause floods, and then like, save people.”  I said.

“Whatever!  Our Goddess could totally kick your God’s ass!”  Rainbow relied back.

“Apparently she can’t, because she can’t even handle dimensional teleportation!”  I replied back.

“Your God still sucks!”  Rainbow Dash replied back.

“Don’t make me throw a bible at you!”  I said.

“I’ll throw the.. the.. wait do we even have a bible Twilight?”  Rainbow Dash asked.

“Well we actually have the, “History of Equestria”.  That pretty much explains everything that we need to know about our Goddesses.”  Twilight said.

“Yeah!  I’ll throw that at you!”  Rainbow said.

“Why can’t we all just understand that just because we have religious differences, doesn’t mean we must battle about them in such a petty way?  We should love, and respect one another for our personalities, our value of friendship.  We shouldn’t judge each other based on beliefs.  Because everyone's beliefs will certainly be different.  If we all just tried to be friends, and love one another, then we could see that petty differences such as theses, don’t really matter in the long run.”  Pinkie said.

“Gay.  I’m going to go find a bible and throw it at Rainbow.”  I said.

“I’m going to continue insulting your religious ideals because fuck you.”  Rainbow said.

“You’re both idiots.”  Twilight sighed.

“I want to try cocaine!”  PInkie said, sounding her normal self.

“NO!”  We all screamed at once.

“Okay.  So Stewart went were again?”  I asked.

“He said something about College.”  Rainbow said.  “I’m totally going to be his roommate.”

“Wait..WHAT!?”  I screamed.  “We aren’t even done with Spring Break yet!”

“You took too long to write your chapters, so now he is in college.  I told you that you should write them faster.”  Twilight said.

“Fuck that, I’m going to call him and tell him to drop out.”  I said as I picked up the phone from the basement to dial his number.  I moved to the bathroom for more privacy.

The phone rang for three seconds, then he picked up.

“What’s up Main?”  Stewart said.

“I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR LIKE FOUR HOURS, AND YOU JUST FUCKING GO TO COLLEGE!”  I screamed.

“My test scores were pretty high, and I act as good as Shakespeare, so I got an acting scholarship.”  Stewart said.

“WE ARE STILL IN SPRING BREAK!  WE HAVE TO DO THAT ONE PLOT IDEA WHERE THE PONIES HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.  GODDAMN IT!”  I screamed.  I’m really looking forward to that too.

“You’re on your own.  It’s not like I can just turn back time, or something.”  Stewart said back.

“WHAT TIME!?  WE’RE IN A STORY!  TIME MOVES WHEN I SAY IT MOVES!”  I said.

“Sorry, I’m staying here, it’s kick ass.”  Stewart said back.

“Fine, whatever.  Have fun in college.  But you know.”  I said.

“Oh God, what are you going to do?”  Stewart asked.

“That’s just more girls for me to fuck.  Since you are living in a dorm, it’s not like you can stop me from showing Rainbow Dash how to-”  I almost finished.

“I’ll be back in a few hours.”  Stewart said, sounding defeated, then hung up the phone.

Well that worked faster than I thought it would.  And the conversation only lasted like 2 minutes.  Quick, and effective.

As I made my way out of the bathroom from the basement I noticed something.  Everyone was gone.  Now where the fuck did they go?  As I entered the kitchen I saw a small piece of paper my family would use to leave notes for each other.  I picked it up, and it read,

“Twilight, Pinkie, and I have left to go to a club.  Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.  Good luck with finding us.”

Son of a bitch.  Well, there can’t be that many clubs in Kansas.  Oh, who am I kidding I have never even went clubbing before in my life.  This was going to be a pain in my ass.