Chapter 24: To Have a Real Good Time

After many sarcastic comments we finally arrived at the club.  We noticed that it was busy... Really fucking busy.

        “So this isn’t how I expected a club to be in Kansas.”  I said.

        “Yeah, isn’t everyone supposed to be boring as fuck?  You know, sit at home, playing games, maybe reading a book.  Kinda like you, without the reading part.”  Stewart said.

        “I guess I can’t really insult you for being correct.”  I said.

        “That hasn’t stopped you before.”  Stewart commented back.

        “Yeah, you’re right.  So are we still going to sneak into the back?  Or try to pass as 21?”  I asked.

        “You and I both know you can barely pass for 18.  Remember how they tried to get you kicked out of that one Hookah Bar?”  Stewart finished.

        “Yeah, I get it.”  I said, not having much faith in our plan.  “It’s just, sneaking into the back.  It sounded stupid at first, but now it just sounds plain retarded.”  I said.

        “Sometimes you do retarded things for love.  I would almost kill to see Rainbow again.  Just the thought of her being in some club while probably being harassed by some douche bag.  I feel like it was just yesterday that we...”  Stewart was saying.

“Are you done yet?”  I asked.

“No, I had like four more lines in my script left to read.”  Stewart said.

“Well stop it.  We need to sneak in and rescue them, or ruin their good time.  Either way, shit has to be done.”  I said.

“Well, well, well.  Look who we have here.”  A voice said from behind us.

“Rick?!”  Stewart said as he turned around.

“Douchey Mc Faggotfuck?  Didn’t we kick your ass like seven chapters back?”  I asked.

“No dude, remember?  He ran away pissing his pants because of what Pinkie did.”  Stewart said.

“Oh yeah, I forgot.”  I said.

“Okay, enough talking.  What the fuck are you doing on my territory?”  Rick asked.  “And didn’t the police even question you?”  Rick asked.

“I didn’t feel like writing in the Police.  Too much work, it was like four in the mourning.  I had Two Best Friends episodes to watch.”  I said.

Rick stared at Stewart.  “Well aren’t you going to get mad at him for breaking the fourth wall for the 100th time?”  Rick asked.

“I’ve come to terms with his stupidity.”  Stewart said.

“And how do you know about my breaking of the fourth wall?  I don’t remember inviting you to my special friends club.”  I said

“Special friends club?  Listen, I always thought you were a little stupid, but special isn’t a very nice way to put it.”  Rick said.

“Okay, that was funny.”  Stewart said.

“He hit your girlfriend... or whatever the fuck you’re calling her.”  I said.

“Wheres my sword?”  Stewart asked.

“Okay, okay, okay.  Calm down.”  Rick said.  “I noticed your little whores went into that club.”  Rick said.

“Did you see how they got into the club?”  I asked.

“They all flashed their tits.”  Rick said.

“I guess he is right, they are whores...”  Stewart said.

“Well aren’t you going to go inside and save them or whatever you fucking white knights are here to do?”  Rick asked.

“Question One:  Why the fuck do you care?  Question Two:  What do we need to save them from?  And Question Three:  Why the fuck do you care?”  Stewart asked.

“This is a club that does mostly raves.”  Said Rick.

“I fucking hate dancing.”  I muttered.

“It’s probably because every time you fall you cause the building to come down.”  Stewart said.

“Well you know me, I’m known to bring down the house at dance parties.”  I said.

“Don’t ever say something like that again, ever.”  Stewart said sighing.

“Are you finished?”  Rick asked.

“I don’t know, I guess I could call Stewart a faggot or something.”  I said.

“I’ve got room for one more fat joke.”  Stewart said.

“Ugh, you do know what people take in raves right?”  Rick asked.

“Um... drinks, do they take drinks?”  I said.

“Oh shit...”  Stewart said.  The realisation hit him.

“Speed you dumbass.  They do speed.”  Rick said.

“I hate that game.”  I said

“Goddamn it!  DRUGS!  They do drugs!”  Rick said.

“Well this isn’t good.”  I said

“Yeah, no shit.”  Stewart said.  “How the fuck are we going to get in there now?  No doubt Rainbow Dash has tried some.”  Stewart said.

“Yeah, Pinkie has probably already overdosed.  God damn it.”  I said

“No problem.  I can get you in.”  Said Rick.

“Wow thanks for being a good friend.  I mean, you totally don’t have any reason to try to get us back for fucking up your friends at that warehouse.  So we should totally trust you.”  I said.

“Yeah asshole, why are you being so nice all the sudden?”  Stewart asked.

“Do you want in or don’t you?”  Rick asked.  “I’m only doing this so those whores don’t die.  I mean when they eventually leave you, I would like them to join my crew.”  Rick said.

“Fuck it.  It’s not like we are going to get in any other way.  Might as well try this one.”  I said.

“I guess.”  Stewart said.

Rick escorted us to the back of the club.  The people at the back let us in with no questions asked.  This isn’t good.  That means he must have some sort of pull at this place.  Fuck, hope nothing too bad as happened to the girls.  If it’s just drugs, then I can deal with that.  But I don’t know if my body can take another fight.

        The place was loud, it was flashy, and I think so guy just took a hit of cocaine off of some chicks tits.  Great.

        “So.”  Stewart said.  “I mean, we have handled worse right?”

        “As long as you don’t do anything stupid, this should go well.”  I said.

        “Fuck off fat one.  We got to find everyone before drugs happen.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, well easier said than done right?”  I asked.

        It was about that time I noticed Pinkie.  On the main dance floor.  Grinding Twilight, and Rainbow Dash.

        “Found them.”  I said.

        “Where?”  Stewart asked.

        “Keep looking.”  I said.

        “I still don’t fucking see them...”  Stewart said.

        “Give it a minute.”  I said.

        “You are so... oh, hey there they are.  Huh, that looks like fun.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, that really does doesn’t it.”  I said.

        “You thinking what I’m thinking?”  Stewart asked.

        “Sex?”  I asked.

        “Well... whatever, close enough.”  Stewart said.

        As we made our way up to the main dance floor a man stopped us right in our tracks.

        “You got a pass?”  He asked.

        “A what?”  I asked back.

        “I’ll take that as a no.”  He said, and started to usher us out of the club.

        “No!  Rick, you asshole!”  Stewart shouted.  “You didn’t fucking give us passes!”

        “Well this sucks.”  I said.

        When we finally made it out of the club, without fighting the guy, because I didn’t want to get my shit shoved in, we sat defeated on the curb.

        “This sucks.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, I know what you mean.  Sex, it could have been, should have been, but never was.”  I said.

        “They didn’t look like they were getting in too much trouble right?  I mean they didn’t look high, and they weren’t being swarmed by douche bags.”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, you got a point.  Still, would have been cool to dance with them in the club.”  I said.

        “HA, you, dance.  You dancing reflects a retarded seal trying to clap his hands.”  Stewart said.

        “Stewart, that joke went too far.”  I said.

        “In a big way?”  Stewart asked.

        “In a lot of ways.”  I said.

        “It’s all downhill from here?”  Stewart asked.

        “HEY GUYS!”  I heard Pinkie shout from behind me.

        “Oh thank God.”  I said.  “I thought you had been raped by fanboys.”

        “What?”  Pinkie asked confused.

        “Never mind him, where is Twilight and Rainbow Dash.”  Stewart asked.

        “I don’t know, last I saw of them, they were going in the back room with some guy.”  Pinkie said.

        “HA!  I told you I had the smarter one.”  I said.

        “Fuck off!  We gotta save them!”  Stewart said.

        “Yeah, that’s going to be fucking easy, seeing as we are clearly able to get inside the club.”  I said.

        “We aren’t, but maybe with Pinkie...”  Stewart said.  “Alright, with Pinkie we can get in no problem.”  Stewart said.

        “Alright, lets go.”  I said.

        “YAY!  ADVENTURE!”  Pinkie said as we made our way up to the club entrance.