Chapter 8: Stewart gets a shotgun

Well there is something you don’t see everyday.  A girl with pink hair stuck in a tree.  Or at least in Kansas you don’t.  It was clearly Fluttershy.  But if it was Fluttershy.  She shouldn’t have a problem getting out of a tree.  Her wings hopefully weren’t injured.  And the tree isn’t that tall.  Still, I should go talk to her.  Trying to get through her shyness could prove a bother, but I think I can conquer any problem.  I mean Pinkie hasn’t killed me with her cupcakes yet right?

“Hey, what are you doing up there?  I don’t think that is a place for a pretty girl like you.”  Fuck do I sound like a pedophile?  I wonder if they have pedophiles in Ponyville.

“Um, it’s uh.. Okay, I don’t need any help..”  She stuttered out.  Clearly she was Fluttershy.  The amount of shyness she was projecting was a bit too stressed.  Although she is in a fucking tree.

“Hey baby!  What are you doing up there!  That’s no place for a sexy girl like you.  Why don’t you let me help you down, and then I can get you all nice and clean.”  A sudden voice boomed from my street.  Who the fuck was this guy?  He looks like he is 20 years old, pretty strong, more so than me.  And it could be my protective side, but he looks like a fucking rapist.  Well more so than I guess I appeared to be.  Don’t judge me, I’m not good with girls that just so happen to be ponies.  Or any girls for that matter.

“Hey man.  Thanks for your concern, but I have this problem all figured out.”  I say trying to defuse the situation.  He doesn’t seem like the gentlemanly type.  (Although neither am I at more times.)

“Shove it fatass.  Go eat a hamburger.  This girl isn’t the type for you asshole.”

“Well she is in a tree, that just so happens to be on my property.  So why don’t you kindly get fucked, and leave.”

“The fuck you just say?  How about I fuck her, and shoot the shit out of you?”

Well this is going nowhere.  Although I’m sure I have a few more snappy comebacks.  This guy has a gun, and is not afraid to go back to jail from the looks of it.

At that moment Fluttershy got down with the most intense hatred in her eye.  Oh shit, he pissed off the nice and shy one.  Shit is going down.

“Who do you think you are!  You big meanie face!  You come down here talking to me like a jerk.  And  then you insult this poor...Uh whatever you guys are called...sorry.  I don’t like people like you!  Why don’t you just leave all of us alone, and go back to where you came from!  Um, you know, that is if you don’t mind....”  She said sounding shy and commanding all at the same time.  She could have left out the sorry part.

“Hey bitch.  I don’t know who the fuck you think you are talking to.  But I use to rape and kill bitches like you.  So why don’t you just make this easy and do what you are fucking told.  Maybe I won’t kill your friend over there if you do.”  He said, with an absolute evil presence about him.  Well as they say.  Negotiations have crumbled.  Better call in the heavy guns.

“Hey man you know what?  Why don’t I just go in my house, give her a blanket, and just let you guys go on your way.  You don’t live by here it seems.  Then I’ll just be out of your hair.”  I said as calmly as possible.  I have a plan.  Hopefully I won’t get arrested for it.  Thankfully Pinkie has gotten involved yet, or we would all be shot.

“Sounds like a good idea you fat fuck.  Maybe you aren’t as useless as you seem after all.  After you bring me that blanket, maybe I’ll just use your house for a new base of operations.”

What the fuck?  Operations?  I didn’t know rapist had a base of rape.  The rape base.  Almost sounds funny if he wasn’t packing a 9mm.

“Okay man.  I’ll be back as fast as I can.”

“Don’t take too long.  Wouldn’t want to turn this into a double homicide.”

Yeah yeah fucker.  Just keep thinking you’re tough shit.  I have an equalizer.

As I hurried into my house I found a blacknet extremely fast.  You know by double homicide I assume he was going to kill me, than maybe Fluttershy.  Yeah, no one threatens her.  I’m sure she has great thoughts about this new place she has discovered.

I hurried and went into my Father’s room.  Normally I would simply call the police, hurried her into the house, and locked every single door.  But since he had an upper hand.  I needed to simply make things turn into my favor.  I took the key that was by his dresser, unlocked the gun case, and took out the .45.  Now I know what you are thinking.  Why do you have a .45 caliber pistol in your house?  Well you see, it is Kansas.  When you move here, you are issued a gun.  Its standard.  (My sarcasm levels are off the fucking charts.)  I quickly covered the gun in the banket.  And made my way back outside.  Put on my most convincing face.  And hoped for the best.  If all else fails maybe I will die fast.  Or maybe pinkie will quickly decide she wants to see how well humans will cook.  (Cupcake Reference count: 5)

“Okay man.  I got your blanket.  Just don’t hurt anyone alright.”  I said as calmly as I could.

“Well kid.  I can’t promise you that.  Seeing as your house might as well be mine now.  I think you will be needing to get the fuck out.”

“Yeah, well.  I guess there isn’t much less to say”  Having my hand on the gun the whole time.  I quickly threw the blanket, and put the sights right on his head.  I tried my hardest to keep my hands from shaking.  I need him to think I’m not afraid, even though I’m scared shitless.

“What the fuck!  You just signed your fucking death warrant kid.  No one points a fucking gun at me.”

“Really?  Looks like I am right now.  Now don’t make me blow your fucking head off.  Let the girl walk over to me.  And sudden moves.  And let’s just say you won’t have to worry about going back to prison.”  Yes I assume he has already been there.  You don’t get this obsessed with rape without being in prison for a few years.  Maybe he was molested by a Property sells man also.  Why the fuck does he want my house so much?

“Uh excuse me.  But uh, I think that I uh..”  She stopped talking and just covered her face.  Wait, fuck.  I’m not looking at him anymore.  I’m not good at this whole badass thing.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I found my face hurting and my gun no longer in my hands.  Fucker was fast.  I should have just pulled the trigger and let things all play out from there.  Better than what was about to happen next.

“Well shit kid.  I guess you no longer have the upper hand anymore do you?  Take away your gun and what the fuck are you?  Nothing but a coward it seems.  Can’t even defend a girl correctly.  Christ kid.  I think you might be better off dead.”  He said with hatred deep in his voice.  Clearly he has something about fat people.

“Well, any last words before I blow you away?”

“I think fuck you, I hope you burn in Hell will suffice.”

“Ha ha.  Fair enough kid.”

I looked at Fluttershy face covered.  On the verge of tears as always.  I wonder how Pinkies going to take this?  Hope he doesn’t find her too.

“Well motherfucker?  You going to fucking kill me?”

“Come on Main.  Stop being such a downer.  You aren’t dead yet.”  I heard a familiar voice say from behind me.  I then noticed that the man in front of me with two guns suddenly looked much more pale.  I turned around to see Stewart with a shotgun, and Pinkie with an angry look on her face.  For some reason I felt more afraid of her, then the guy with two guns trained on me.

“WELL WELL WELL MR. MEANIE FACE!  JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING POINTING THOSE...Hey what are those again?”

“They are pistols Pinkie.”

POINTING THOSE PISTOLS AT MY LITTLE MATTY WATTY.

Oh fuck she didn’t just call me Matty Watty?

“Wait, what?” me and the rapist both said at once.

“Matty Watty?  HA HA.  Jesus kid.  I feel for you.”

“Eat a dick.”

“Hello?  Why isn’t anyone paying attention to the guy with a fucking shotgun.  I’d like to think I did a pretty good job of saving your ass.  Matty Watty.”  Stewart chuckled out that last part.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.  Is that Fluttershy?  Pinkie Suddenly asked.

“Oh my goodness.  Pinkie?  I can’t believe you are here.  What brought you to this horrid place.  That guy was going rape me!  Whatever that means.  Wait, uh is that good or bad?”  She asked shyly.

“No that’s bad.  Unless of course you have been in prison.  Then I hear its normal.”  I said still looking at the douche bag.

“Whatever kid.  Like you have ever been laid before.”  He said pointing the gun at me as if it was his finger.

“Oh yeah.  That’s a good one.”  I said sarcastically.

“Hey!  Shotgun!  Why is this so hard to remember?”  Stewart said.

“You know what.  I think I’m just going to drop my guns.  And forget this day ever happened.  This shit is too much for one day.”  The rapist said dropping his guns.”

“And don’t you ever come back!  I mean if you don’t want to...”  Fluttershy shouted.  As she did her wings broke through her shirt and ripe part of it.  Sadly, now her breasts were exposed.

“Hey you have them too!  Cool!  Can I touch?!”  Pinkie asked.

“And suddenly I feel like I shouldn’t leave.”  Said the rapist.

“Hey!  Asshole!  Shotgun.  Get the fuck out before I waste you!”

“Fine, fine, fine.  Hey, on another note, if you ever need your car fixed.  I’m the guy.  Just saying.  Now I’m out.  Peace out fags.”  He said as he walked away.

“You know.  I could just shoot him.  No one would have to know.  Only me and you guys.  I could just blow the back of him away.”  Stewart said.

“No I think he is gone.  And on that note, today was fucking terrible.  I mean yeah, we found Fluttershy.  But still.  I don’t like having guns pointed at me.  That reminds me.  How the fuck did you get here just in time?  And where is Rainbow Dash?”

“First,  Rainbow is back at my house asleep.  And I actually forgot my sunglasses.  Oh and I wanted a cupcake.

“Oh, well fair enough.”

“Fair enough?  I just saved your ass for getting blow away.”

“Oh yeah.  Kthxs.  Shit like that.”

“See if I save your ass from a criminal again fat one.”

All the sudden we heard a sudden moan.  We turned around to see Pinkie molesting Fluttershy.

“See!  I told you it feels good.  Doesn’t it?”

“Y-yeah.  It really does.”  Fluttershy moaned.

“Hey should we stop them?  Or..”  I asked.  Mesmerized by the sight in front of me.

“I can friendship to this..”  Stewart said.

“Yeah well I’m hungry.  Held at gunpoint or not.  I need food.  I’m going to go make some popcorn.  Want any?”

“Uh.  Popcorn yeah.  Whatever.  Sure.  Damn she has a nice pair.”

“Christ..  I’m tell Rainbow Dash.”  I said and started to walk away.

“Hey!  Don’t joke about that shit!  You know I like her.”

“Who says I’m joking?”  Clearly I am.  But the more sarcasm the better as I am concerned.

“Sure.  You just mad because I’m stylin on you.”

“Ha ha.  Funny.  Well at least the 4th wall didn’t get fucking destroyed this time.”

“HEY!!  What did I tell you about referencing the 4th wall!  ONLY I CAN DO THAT!”  Pinkie shouted.