Author's Note

I am so so sorry. I'm sorry for the 3 month delay. I'm sorry for the constant lies in my blog posts. I'm sorry for the absolutely horrible quality of this chapter. I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Just... I'm sorry.

VIII

I attempted to turn to take the brunt of the hit to my shoulder, poorly accomplishing said task as the door slammed into me, sending me rocketing across the hallway into the guest room door, causing the strike to splinter the wood. The door swung open at terminal velocity, allowing me to acquaint my body with the floor a little bit more intimately. I groaned for a few moments before the real pain set in.

I fucking warned you, but noooo, you had to see your pretty pony princess.

I choked a couple times before tears rolled down my face, the choking turning into sobbing. Slowly, I rolled myself over onto my stomach and started reaching out for something to grab onto. Finding nothing, I placed my palms flat on the floor and started pulling myself across towards the bed, a trail of blood from my hands smearing along the floor.

You're a god damned idiot, you know that? What happened to not unnecessarily putting your life at risk?

"Shut... Up..." I said through my sobs, crawling towards the bed.

I heard something moving around behind me, before I felt the weightlessness of magic.

"Thaddeus, talk to me." She cried out, pulling me into her chest.

"I'm still alive... But I'm barely breathing..." I said through my sobbing, coughing up a bit of blood.

"Oh thank the stars!" she exclaimed, pulling me tighter to her chest, before suddenly holding me in front of her, "What were you doing out here anyways?" she said, giving me a suspicious look.

"That's not... important. Could you just put me... Down to die?" I said, sniffling and coughing up blood.

"No, you're coming with me, since you so wanted to escape from the infirmary." She said, glaring at me.

"Where?" I said.

"Just to my room, where you're going to remain for the foreseeable future," She said, holding me behind her, "And I'll make sure you stay there." she finished, throwing a glare over her shoulder at me.

“Thank… God. You wouldn’t… happen to have… painkillers?”

“Painkillers?”

“It’s a little… pill drug thing.”

“There’s a painkiller spell, but I’m not sure how well it would work on you. Different anatomy and such.” She said, opening the door. I saw everything was in disarray. The scrolls that were so neatly stacked had collapsed, the blankets jumbled on the bed, her desk messy.

“What happened in… here?” I said.

“I-Uh-Nothing.” Cel stammered, closing the door as she walked to the washroom.

“What are we doing in here?” I croaked, the crying easing to a stop.

“We’re going to get you cleaned up, and then we’re going to go to bed.” She said, gingerly placing my feet on the ground, “Do you think you can hold yourself up?”

“I think so.” I said, gasping as I felt my body weight rest on my legs, in particular my now extremely injured one.

“Oh sweet baby Jesus.” I hissed, grinding my teeth together in an attempt to stave off the pain.

I felt my drawers being rolled down my thighs, and the man in me, or what little was left wanted to tell her to let me do it myself, but I was in too much pain to complain. Then Cel put them in a little panty ball in the laundry basket, and I wanted to bitch so very very much. So I did.

“Could… could you not roll them up like that?” I croaked.

“What?” Cel inquired.

“My underwear. Could you not bunch them up like that?”

“Really? You just got thrown through a door, by a door that I had placed a ward on to keep would be intruders out, where I found you crying on the floor leaving a trail of blood through an explosion of splinters and chunks of door, which isn’t cheap to replace, and you’re going to complain about your underwear being bunched up into a ball. Are all human males like this?” She said, levitating me over to the tub.

“Probably not. I’m just particular about the handling of my clothing.”

“Very well then.” She stated as she un-pantyballed my underwear.

“Thanks.” I said, moments before scalding hot water poured from the shower head.

“SON OF A BITCH!” I shouted.

“SORRY!” Celestia shouted as she quickly turned the water off.

“Y’know, generally when you say you’re going to clean someone up, the intention isn’t to hurt them more.” I said.

“I said sorry.” Cel said, slowly turning on the water, which came out hot before cooling to a decent temperature.

“Ohhhh, that feels nice.” I moaned.

“Mind if I join you?” She said, removing her regalia before stepping into the tub.

“Not at all, Cel.”

“Lovely.”

She stepped into the shower, her mane and tail losing their airiness as the water poured over her, meanwhile from my position I had a great view of her rear, and everything that went with it.

“Oh! Is somebody enjoying the view?” She said, raising her tail a bit more.

“Part of me says that I should stop staring, but majority says fuck it. Both the saying and the action, so I’m going to go with the majority vote and continue.” I said, shrugging.

“You’re staring? I was referring to your extremity, which appears to be full mast.”

I shrugged again. “What do you want me to say? That you’re really attractive? That I’m apparently a xenophile? That I’d…” I trailed off, thinking my next words over carefully.

“That you would…?” Celestia said, cocking her head.

“Nevermind, I’ll show you later. Could you help me get cleaned up?”

“Yes, I suppose we should get on with that.”

“Great. I feel it would probably be easier if I was standing.” I said, grabbing the edges of the tub and lifting myself.

“Here, let me help.” Cel said as she lifted me with her magic. “Lean on me.”

“When you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend. I’ll help you carrrryyy oooon.” I sang.

“Really?” Celestia deadpanned.

“Yep. Good song, actually. Might still have it on my phone.” I said, grimacing at the weight on my leg.

Celestia grabbed the soap and a cloth, rubbing the two together to make a soapy cloth. Who’da thunk? Before rubbing the cloth along my body.

“So, how was your day, Cel?” I asked as she cleaned me.

“I… Err, not too good.” She mumbled.

“Oh? Why was that?”

“I was worried about you.”

“Ah. Makes sense I suppose. But why worry over something you met 3 days ago? Matter of fact, why are we even dating after 3 days? I guess I don’t really know about here, but back on Earth, we generally took time to get to know each other before dating.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to be with me?” She said, stopping suddenly.

“No! No no no! That’s not what I’m saying at all! I just… I’m not even sure what I was trying to say. I’m bad with words.”

“Mm.” She said, scrunching her nose.

“God damn that’s cute.”

“What is?”

“You and the little things you do.” I said, running my hand up and down her side.

“What are you doing?”

“Running my hand along your side. Why?” I said, bringing my hand closer and closer to her rear.

“Why are you doi-eep!” She yelped as my hand reached it’s prize.

“Consider this and what’s to come a thank you.”

“A lady does not take and not give back.” She said, licking her lips.

“Are you certain?”

“Not in the slightest. A thousand years of abstinence can make one do many questionable things. This shall be one of many to come.”

“That’s as good an answer as any.” I said before sliding my index finger into her vagina, appreciating the moans of satisfaction that could be heard over the pitter patter of the water.

“O-Oh my. I can see ho-ow those fingers of yours ca-an be useful.” She said between moans.

“Apparently.” I stated simply as I slowly began to pick up the pace.

Suddenly my leg kicked forward, sending me tumbling to the bottom of the tub, only to be stopped by Cel’s magic.

“Like I said, a lady does not take and not give.” She said, positioning herself on top of me, allowing me full access to her vagina, and allowing her full access to my cock.

“A-Alright.” I said, shivering as she ran her tongue from the base to the tip, “Let’s get this started.” I said as I placed my hands on both sides of her rear before using my thumbs to spread her vagina.

“Dinner is served.” I mumbled before diving in.