Chapters Ponoi: A Paradise to Die For
Ponoi>. A paradise to die for.
She’d just wanted a candy from the vending machines down the hall. Why did they attack her? She didn’t do anything.
“DADDY!” She screamed, chancing a glance over her shoulder. There were at least five of them. Their faces were covered in blood and their skin looked dried and cracked. The nice bellhop she met when they were checking in surged past the others, heading straight for her!
“HELP ME!” She could see their door just up ahead. If she could only get there in time…
She felt a sharp pain in her rear right leg. She looked back to see the bellhop chewing on her.
“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER YOU BASTARDS!”
Her father had appeared in the doorway, his face full of fury. He levitated up a nearby fire ax and drove it into the bellhop’s neck. A mare in a bikini charged him, but he swung the ax entirely through her left fore hoof.
He reached out for her. Time seemed to slow down and everything become blurry as he hauled her up onto his back. He shoved the monsters back with the ax before backing them both up into the room.
“Put her on the bed!” He hoofed her off to her mother.
“It’s okay sweetie. Mommy’s here.”
The world was going dark. She felt too tired to even breathe. Her mother gently laid her down on the bed.
“Mommy’s right here.”
So tired…
“Everything’s going to be just…”
He slammed the door closed with all his might, bracing himself against it while praying to Celestia it would stay closed.
He didn’t have any time to think as a hoof came smashing through the thin wooden door and wrapped around his neck.
He ripped it off and turned to see the bloodstained face of the other bellhop snarling at him. He shoved the ax against the door, reinforcing it with as much magic as he could.
The monster threw itself at the door, shattering his magic and almost tearing the ax from his grip. He realigned his focus and swung it at the bellhop, sending it deep into his neck. The thing fell, blood spurting from the gash as he pulled the ax out.
That’s two ponies I’ve killed.
He didn't get a second thought. The rest of them poured through the door. He spared a glance at his family to see his daughter unconscious (he hoped) on the bed and his wife levitating a butcher’s knife in front of her.
The bikini mare hobbled towards him, but he shoved her off to the side. A big, fat, earth pony came wobbling in next, blood dripping from its maw onto its yellow floral shirt. He brought the ax down again but was interrupted as the bikini mare slammed into him from the side.
He managed to throw her off again, but the lapse in concentration had cost him his hold on the ax. He glimpsed the fat pony shaking it out of his neck like it was nothing.
There was a sharp scream from behind him. He whirled to see his daughter getting up from the bed. He felt an intense relief wash over him.
His daughter was alive and that’s all that mattered.
He turned back towards the monster ponies, intent on tearing their throats out with his teeth if that’s what it took to keep his daughter safe.
An intense weight landed on his back as he felt a sharp pain in his neck. One of them was on him! He started bucking wildly; using everything he had to throw the fucker off. He barely saw his wife go down under a mob of the things, but he couldn’t see his daughter anywhere! He prayed to the Princesses that she somehow made it out.
Finally, he managed to buck the creature off him. He heard a window smash and he looked back at his assailant…
“NO!”
He saw the body of a unicorn filly, pink coat with a black mane, flying out of the window in a rainbow of broken glass.
A rage beyond anything he’d thought possible gripped him. His vision went red. The blood splashed around the room slipped into sharp focus. Parts of the monsters seemed to glow bright red.
He charged the mob on his wife, having no other thoughts than to smash them to pieces. To gouge out their eyes, break of their horns, shred their wings, and grinds their heads into paste for what they did to his daughter!
He fought tooth and hoof, not caring when one bit him on the flank or when another broke his leg. He had three others to kill them with!
But the fat one (how he hated the fat one) kicked him hard, knocking him to the floor. The monsters closed in biting and gnawing, intent on making him a meal.
He looked over to his wife who was barely staying conscious. Her rib cage was ripped open and it looked like parts of her had been eaten.
He slowly entwined his hoof with her own.
The monsters began tearing into his chest.
She fell swiftly and silently. As she touched pavement her head shattered, ending her second life. The ponies around her hardly noticed. They continued shuffling along or sprinting full out in the new cycle of life and death that had visited the once peaceful island.
They were oblivious to her dead, beautiful eyes.
Ponoi: A Paradise to Die For
Act 0: Wake Up Call
“NO!”
She jumped awake, startled by the sound of shattering glass. She could hear screams interspaced with hard thumps and snaps. Finally, there was a harsh bashing sound, followed by two drawn out screams. Then nothing but wet chomping sounds.
Swan May laid there in her bed, unsure of what to do. Somepony might be hurt! She should do something. As she tried to get up, a brutal headache forcing her back down to the bed.
A hangover. Celestia’s gift for that damned bottle of wine she’d had after her shift. Or was it two…three?
It didn’t matter. Everything had gone to hell all at once. The hotel had never seen so many injuries in one night. Nopony knew what was going on, but the going theory was that some kind of animal wandered into the resort. What else left bites like that? She’d needed that drink just to sleep with all the excitement.
The noises continued, only increasing her pain. And her annoyance. She groaned. So what if she’d needed to unwind from the workload? Why should she be punished for it with…this?
“Damn tourists,” she thought as she rolled over on her bed. She’d deal with it when her head didn’t feel like an overstuffed ball of pain.
The chomping continued along with something that reminded her of ripping meat. This went on for almost ten minutes before, blessedly stopping.
“Finally.” Swan closed her eyes, trying to drift back to sleep. Maybe she could get a few more hours in before…
“Princess damn you all!” First they have a feast and now it was an orgy? And they’d probably broken hotel property! Enough was enough!
She pulled herself out of the bed, intending to march next door and demand they stayed quiet.
Then there was a new sound. Right on the other side of her door. Something she could only describe as…sniffing, followed by a low, empty moan.
Swan froze. Something wasn’t right. Why were ponies sniffing her door? What were those moans? She wasn’t sure how she knew, but they definitely disproved the orgy theory. They were just too…soulless. More of an addicts voice than someone in the throes of sex.
That was it! The next room was full of junkies. Probably snorting salt or shooting themselves up with ketamine. She’d write security and have them thrown off the premises.
Idly, she entertained the notion of going out there and dealing with them herself, but decided against it. Let security earn their pay for once.
The moaning flowed down the hall until it faded from hearing. The addicts seemed to have left. Good. She’d give the front desk their room number and that would be that.
She went to a nearby desk and scrawled a quick letter.
West, this is Swan. I think the ponies in room 1408 had some kind of drug party. By the sound of it they were doing some strong stuff. Some of them might be hurt. I heard some glass breaking. I’m going to check it out but some of them left and are wandering around in the hotel. Tell security to be on the lookout for a group of about five or six ponies. They were moaning and trotting very slow. One of them even sniffed my door! How crazy is that? Anyway, be prepared. I think they’re heading your way.
She wrote the desk’s fire-wire code at the bottom of the paper and picked up a transmitter torch. With a button press, a small puff of green flame washed over the letter. The ashes curled up into little glowing cloud and floated away.
Now it was time to act. If those addicts had hurt themselves or somepony else than it was her duty to help them. She remembered the medkit in the bathroom. All staff members had one in case of emergencies. And this was shaping up to be a dozy.
Swan absentmindedly put on a pair of saddlebags from the closet. She staggered into the bathroom, head still reeling with her hangover. She spotted the medkit sitting on the counter and darted toward it, but stopped when she glanced at the mirror.
She was a mess. Her black eyes were bloodshot and had huge bags under them, which accented their slight slant. Her pleasant white coat was ragged and her dark crimson hair was mussed and tangled. Like almost every morning, she mourned that her coloration was the hotel colors. She was practically born for this job, which was probably why they made her a receptionist. It was odd they still made her wear the uniform, but at least they’d let her cut slits for her wings.
She took a few moments to straighten up her appearance. Emergency or not, she represented the company and it couldn’t hurt to put her best hoof forward. After about a minute, she at least looked alright (she still felt like shit). She grabbed the medkit and proceeded out into the hall.
“Hellow? Is everything…” It took all her willpower to keep from screaming. On the floor, with a huge chunk taken out of his neck, was one of her co-workers. She couldn’t tell who, there was too much blood on his face.
Her pulse quickened, her breath became ragged, and she felt a panic attack coming on. Remembering her training, she forced herself to remain calm and walk towards the body. She made it until she got a clear view of the room.
This time, she actually did scream. The hotel room was covered floor to ceiling in blood. The window had a large hole in it and the furniture was smashed. There were more dead bodies in there, another bellhop with an almost identical gash in his neck and a mare in a bikini who was missing a leg.
But the worst part was the two…she couldn’t even call them bodies! They looked more like a butcher’s garbage than something that used to be a pony! Every available bit of flesh had been ripped off! She could see bits of organ scattered about them. Almost all of their bones had been cracked for marrow and scattered about the room. Somehow she could tell they died holding each other’s hooves which only made it all the more horrible.
Swan backed up frantically into her room and slammed the door. She felt bile rising in the back of her throat, but she forced it back down. This was no time to panic. She needed to get the fuck out of here!
There was a flash of light at the desk. WEST! She needed to warn him about…whatever it was she saw in the hall.
She literally flew over to the desk and almost ripped the letter try to get it open. The ribbon holding it snapped and she poured over the words.
To anypony reading this…that wasn’t West’s hoof-writing. You are in terrible danger! There’s no time to go into the specifics, our connection to the island is weak enough as it is. Suffice to say that events of disastra…unfathma…really, really bad things are happening! I know you’re probably scared, but you need to stay calm or you are going to die! Read very carefully: I have a floor plan of the hotel. There is a maintenance room on the second floor. You need to go there and get a weapon. If you encounter anypony that looks the least bit strange, turn around and get as far away from them as possible!Do not approach them! Do not try to talk to them! And most importantly, DO NOT LET THEM BITE YOU!
Good luck and may the Princesses watch over you.
Maintenance…she knew were that was!
Twelve floors below her.
Swan took a deep breath. She was going to have to go back out there. From the sound of that letter, this wasn’t just some fucked up party goers; this was all over the resort! An entire town full of ponies…eating each other.
A strangled sob made its way out of her throat. NO! There’s no time for that! Remember your training!
West. If there was even a chance he was alive she needed to warn him. She wrote a quick note telling him to get out of the hotel and sent it on its way. Now it was time to act.
She steeled herself. If she didn’t go now, she may never work up the courage. There could be other ponies out there. She needed to help them and she sure as hell couldn’t do it in here. It was now or never!
She pawed the ground agitatedly, sucked in a huge breath, and charged! She slammed into the door, almost knocking it off its hinges, and immediately took off down the hallway.
DON’T LOOK IN THE ROOM! DON’T LOOK IN THE ROOM! DON’T LOOK IN THE ROOM! DON’T…
She repeated the mantra over and over as she flew down the hall, eyes shut. This was not her smartest move as she didn’t see the luggage rack somepony had left in the hallway.
*CRASH*
Okay, that didn't help her hangover. Each beat of her pulse felt like ten base drums in her skull! She groaned and looked up to see that, amazingly, the rack hadn’t moved one inch. She tried pushing it over but a wall of luggage on the other side kept it firmly in place. Almost like a barricade.
Those…things weren’t here now, so there must be a way around. She looked around until she spotted a conspicuously open door. How’d I miss that? Oh right. I was flying with my eyes closed.
Deciding she could mentally kick herself more later, she walked through the door into another hotel room. It was with some measure of pride that she recalled the day she was given a deluxe suite for her ‘incredible dedication and outstanding performance.’ Just because she hated her job doesn’t mean she can’t be good at it.
This room was a standard double, with two queen sized beds, a small bathroom, and a door linking it with the next room.
Locked. Great. She pushed harder, and again, and again. Finally having enough she backed up and rammed herself against the door. The lock gave with the sound of crunching wood.
Demolishing hotel property. There goes employee of the month.
Finding a similar room on the other side as well as an energy bar. Glad to have anything in her stomach, she ate it with relish. Swan felt slightly better afterwards. Almost…refreshed. Healthier.
She chocked it up to earth pony magic (the wrapper said something along those lines) and continued into the hall. She had to push a few suitcases out of the way, but otherwise there was no trouble.
The hallway ended in a large room with stair access and elevators on a balcony. Since the idea of being trapped in a small metal box terrified her (as it did all pegasai) Swan tried the stairs.
Locked. Again. She tried bashing her way through the door like last time but this one was sturdy metal and barricaded on the other side. A charging manticore couldn’t move this.
So that meant she either had to fly or use the elevator. Tough choice.
Glass broke somewhere above her as two pegasai went flying past her scaring her right back down to the floor. One of them was on fire with his mouth clamped firmly on the other’s neck. She was trying to scream, but the blood from her neck wound just made it come out as a strangled gurgle. Swan heard her screaming all the way down.
She took a few tentative steps forward until she could see over the rail. The two ponies were sprawled on the ground and she could see splashes of red near them. More ponies appeared, shambling toward the bodies. When they finally reached them they started…
Swan backed up, terrified. Now she saw other ponies flying around. But they were…wrong. Their movements to jerky, their turns to slow.
If you encounter anypony that looks the least bit strange, turn around and get as far away from them as possible!
The letter was the only thing she had to go on and after what she just saw, it sounded like good advice.
Elevator it was then. Just. Fucking. Great.
Her hangover flared up again, causing her to stumble. She didn’t know where those things from the hall were, but if they caught her like this...she wouldn’t bet on her chances.
She stumbled over to the doors, hoping against hope she’d have good luck for once today. Denial was swift and cruel. Every single door was in emergency shutdown. Except one.
The one with an elevator a floor below her.
“Why doesn’t anything ever work when you need it?” She was going to have to jump down and use the hatch. Simple enough.
Until she noticed the frayed cable which was the only thing keeping this two ton box of steel and metal from falling several stories and turning into a fiery explosion giving anypony inside a horrible and extremely violent death.
So, yeah. Simple.
Well, my talent is grace after all. This was true; her cutiemark was a beige swan denoting her natural grace and agility. Should anypony look closely (not that she would let them) they’d have noticed that the swan’s beak was actually a pair of tiny blades.
She wouldn’t admit the meaning behind this, but she hoped the maintenance room had a machete.
Swan decided to get it over with and hopped out the shaft, flapping her wings a few times to slow her descent. She lightly touched down on the elevator, but even this minor disturbance was enough to make it groan. She stood still as Discord in fear until the box stopped groaning.
She found the emergency hatch and flipped it open, dropping down inside. It groaned again, but otherwise remained stable. Swan sighed in relief.
*SNAP*
The elevator fell with a scream, overpowering her own a hundred-fold. Sparks flew from the sides and the doors raced past. Swan felt herself lifted off the ground and grabbed the side rail, hanging on for dear life.
Suddenly the elevator lurched to a stop, slamming her into the ground. She heard several shrieks and cries of alarm. The doors were open and three ponies were outside. They screamed and charged right at her.
Before she could even comprehend what was happening, the elevator fell again (this time only three stories) before tipping foreward and crushing her against the half open doors.
She shuddered, determining that after this it was nothing but the stairs. She could weigh three hundred pounds, be nine months pregnant, and have no legs, but there was no fucking way she was going near another of these death traps. Ever.
It was the cupcake. That damned cupcake she had with the wine last night put her over the edge.
“No more dessert…ever.”
It took another ten minutes for her to get back to her legs, ten minutes of agony. And I thought a hangover was bad. She was astounded she was alive, let alone nothing was broken! She dragged herself through the doors and out onto a balcony.
Swan looked back to check the floor number. TWO! Not only had she survived her ride in the elevator, she was exactly where she needed to be!
“Well at least one thing went righ…”
Not ten feet from her was another of the ‘bodies.’ This one looked like it’d been ripped to pieces. Its legs were in four separate piles around it. Its bones had either been crushed or snapped. There was a rib in the ceiling. How does that even happen?
This time, she did throw up. The strain of a hangover, the crash, and some barely contained emotions forced the meager contents of her stomach onto the wood floor. Her throat burned from the bile since the last time she’d eaten was that damned cupcake.
Any hope she had of the scene upstairs being a freak accident were now gone. Whatever was going on, it was a whole lot worse than really, really bad. It was more like fucking APOCALYPSE!
Swan leaned against the wall, her vision going blurry. She needed to get moving before she collapsed. Luckily, maintenance was just down the hall. She could rest there.
She staggered down the hall, almost tripping over mountains of luggage. Seriously, who needs this much shit? She waded through to the end, turning right into yet another luggage filled hallway. It was just one of those days.
Without warning, three ponies rounded a corner up ahead. Their trot was…off and their movements were erratic. She could hear small grunts and moans as they wandered down the hall.
Suddenly one of them spotted her. It let out an inequine scream which was quickly followed by two more.
Turn around and get as far away from them as possible!
“Oh shit.” Swan turned and bolted, flapping her wings to increase her speed. Her headache was forgotten, overpowered by the sheer unbridle adrenaline of flight. She could hear them thundering after her, screaming all the way. She dashed into the next hallway; knocking over a luggage rack in the hope it would slow them down.
There was a loud crash and some more screaming. She chanced a look back… “SWEET CELESTIA!” It didn’t even faze them. They’d just plowed right through it. Swan leaped, becoming airborne, flying faster than she ever had before!
Finally, she saw it. A big, beautiful, metal door right at the end of the hall.
With the monsters right on her heels, she dashed inside slamming it behind her. There were three loud thumps, then silence. She sighed in relief.
*WHAM*
She heard a shrill screech and the side of her head exploded with pain. The last thing she saw before closing her eyes was a snarling, bloody mouthed, mare…
Swan slipped into unconsciousness.
“She’s not showing any symptoms.”
Swan drifted between waking and sleeping, barely having the strength to open her eyes.
“…alright. But when she starts chewing on your face, it’s your problem!”
“Fine, now will you help me with her already!”
Her eyes fluttered open weakly to glimpse a red stallion in a fishing hat and an orange stallion with a strange tattoo on his face. Her whole body felt like it was on fire, especially her side.
“There ya are, miss,” the orange stallion said, “everything’s going to be all right…”
She felt faint, like a hangover but a thousand times worse. Her eyes refused to stay open.
“Don’t say that. You know she’s going to…”
“IT’LL BE FINE! Just fine. Don’t you worry miss; the good doctor will fix you right up, then everything…”
Her eyes closed.
Ponoi: A Paradise to Die For
Act 0: Cinnamon
“SAY SOMETHING NOW!”
Swan eyes shot open and she bolted upright in bed for the second time that day.
“SAY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW OR WE”LL FUCKING KILL YOU! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
She looked around in panic. She was in a bed in some kind of wooden shack. There was sports equipment and junk all around. There was a loud thumping coming from somewhere.
“I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN!”
Two ponies were glaring at her, one light green pegasus the other dark red unicorn. The green one had a wooden paddle in his mouth.
She backed up against the wall not understanding at all. Why were these ponies going to kill her? Where was she? What was going…
Suddenly it all came back. The screams, the letter, the…mess in the hotel room…
“DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?”
“YES!” She cringed, waiting for a strike.
“Oh thank Celestia,” said the one with the paddle after he spit it out. “I’m a doctor, not a bloody executioner.” He sat down with a sigh and put his face in his hooves.
“Here,” she turned back to the shouting one, who was levitating a red metal can. “Drink this; you’ll need your strength.”
Nodding, she took the drink between her hooves. Shrugging her shoulders, she chugged the whole thing.
The sugar rush was immediate and intense. Any weariness she felt departed. Where was this stuff this morning?
“Don’t feed it,” a grey old mare looking said accusingly. “One of those…things bit her! She’ll be one of them any moment.” Wait…what?
She checked her side. It was heavily bandaged and felt like somepony had attacked it with a sausage grinder.
“Oh Celestia…” She was going to be sick.
“Hey, stay with me.” The shouter ran up, stopping her mid faint.
“See! She looks horrible. Whatever’s wrong with the freaks outside she’s got it!” Swan turned a pale shade of green.
“Or maybe it’s because you keep telling her she’s going to DIE, YOU STUPID OLD BITCH!” The doctor was back on his feet and was nose to nose with the mare. “Of course she looks awful. You’re scaring the living daylights out of her.”
“Oh no! I’m so sorry dear. But don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll feel much better when you start CHEWING ON OUR SPINES!”
“SHE’S NOT GOING TO TURN!” He looked at Swan with an expression perfected by those with years of medical training. A look that not only soothed, but conveyed a sense of intelligence and respect. “It’s been six hours. Most of the other ponies who’ve been bit were coughing up their guts in two.” He turned back to the mare. “So SHUT UP!”
“Plus there’s the other three!” the shouter chipped in. “They got bites to, and they’re perfectly fine.”
“See, there’s evidence.” The old mare just huffed and turned away. “Don’t worry lass; we’re pretty sure you’re immune. Or at least resistant.” He wiggled his hoof in a so-so motion.
“Lot of good it does us…”
“DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?” The resulting stare off would have been legendary if there was more than three ponies to see it. After about a minute of awkward silence, Swan couldn’t take it anymore.
“Where am I?”
The doctor looked up in surprise.
“Probably should have said something sooner. We’re in a shed on the beach. Oh, and I’m Trip by the way.”
“Tanner,” said the other. The old mare said nothing and a young white mare in the corner just sobbed.
“I’m…”
Muffled shouting drifted in from the other room followed by a slamming door, cutting off the steady thump. After a few seconds it resumed, stronger than ever.
“What the hell?” Trip and Tanner left for the next room and Swan got up to follow. The mare in the corner cried even louder, obviously scared. The old mare moved up to her.
“There, there dear. It’s all right. Nothing’s going to hurt you.” As far as Swan could tell, that was a damn lie. That thumping was not a sound of love and tolerance.
“If he’s stupid enough to go out there it’s his problem! I don’t care if he saved your life!”
“He saved your life to ya git! He saved all our lives!”
Swan walked behind Trip and Tanner to see a colt and a mare screaming at each other while a second mare watched from the side. The colt was solid blue and one of the mares was green with an orange mane.
Her coat was a deep, rich purple. She had a filled holster on her right foreleg. The interesting part was the three silver stripes on each of her legs, accenting her coat beautifully. Her mane was black and white, each lock alternately striped, running about halfway down her face. There was also a large bandage on her back. Her cutiemark was a revolver next to a police badge.
“He could have donkey punched Discord and given Nightmare Moon a buck to the honeypot for all I care! Those things are still out there!”
“Those things are going to be in here in about ten seconds if somepony doesn’t mare up and help him. I’m volunteering. Now you can either defy the odds and let me through, or you can prove you’re as stupid as you look and keep being a fucking roadblock! Your choice.”
“Look man,” a unicorn walked into view. Both his coat and his mane were gold, the latter styled in a short mohawk that ran to the base of his horn. He had on a ratty striped shirt. His forelegs were decorated with an intricate tattoo. There was gauze wrapped around his left shoulder. A hoofball angled upwards with wind-lines adorned his flank. “We both know she can kick your ass. Just let her get herself killed. Luna knows it’ll make our lives easier.” The striped mare cast a scornful look at him.
“That you’re annoying, but not enough to open the door. If I’m breathing, then this door stays closed!”
“Oh is that the only requirement. Why didn’t ya say so in the first place? Would’ve saved me a lot of time.” The purple mare’s words were dripping with spite. The green mare put a hand on the blue’s shoulder.
“Please, be reasonable.” His eyes widened in shock.
“Reasonable? REASONABLE? I’m the only fucking pony in this room actually BEING reasonable!”
The sound of laughter reached their ears from a nearby couch. A huge chocolate brown earth pony said. There was a red rag around his bald head that matched his tail. He had a fake (she hoped) leather jacket and a bandage around his rear left leg. Around his neck was a gold chain ending in an HV pendent that appeared to be encrusted with diamonds. His cutiemark was a microphone caped with a small skull at the base of the handle. He looked somewhat familiar. “What?”
“You think this is funny?” The pistol mare trotted up to him, her brows knitted in anger.
“A little bit, yeah. I mean, if this little bitch here thinks he can stand up to both of us, then just paint me white and call me a Princess.” Purple did a double take.
“What the hell do ya mean both of us?” He shrugged.
“Far as he goes, I give as many fucks as the doorman there has brains. But for the zombies outside,” he stood up and turned to the door, murder evident in his gaze, “I got a bone to pick with them.”
Did her really just say…no! It wasn’t possible!
Now the unicorn was laughing.
“When I first saw you, I thought: That dude is crazy. Glad to see I was right.” He took the huge pony’s place on the couch. “Have fun killing yourselves.” The green mare looked distraught.
“Please just let them through! He’s been out there to long!”
“He’s already dead and you know it! The second I open this door those things are going to pour in here! Don’t you get it?”
“Innocent? Please. You saw what he did to them. Even if they are dead, nopony who’s ‘innocent’ kills that easy.” The zony snarled at him.
“Ya weren’t complaining when they had you surrounded, were ya?”
“Th-that was different!” He stuttered, a blank look on his face.
“How?” At this, his browns knitted and his eyes began to burn with hate.
“The point is that this door stays closed as long as I say so.” The huge pony stepped forward.
“Who died and made your ass king of the door?”
“EVERYPONY! I don’t have to take this! I don’t have to listen to you,” he turned toward the green mare, “or you,” he pointed his hoof at the unicorn, “or you!” He swung his hoof in the direction of Swan, Trip, and Tanner. “And I especially don’t have to take shit from some washed up salt addict and his ZONY BITCH!”
*SMACK*
The colt collapsed, knocked unconscious by the purple mare’s punch. The room went silent, ponies staring openmouthed at the sudden violence. Chocolate gave a low whistle The thumping went on. Slow, steady, and now carrying with it the sharp sound of splintering wood. Realizing that time was short, Swan cleared her throat and spoke.
“Isn’t there somepony we need to be rescuing?” Surprised by her voice, the whole room turned to her. The purple mare glared at her suspiciously.
“What do you mean we?”
“I am immune, correct?” Trip nodded, still slightly slack-jawed from everything. “And this pony saved my life?” The brown earth pony nodded, a smirk on his face. “Then I owe it to him to at least try.” Swan turned to the unicorn. “As do you.”
“Yes you.” She gave him a stare that contained no anger or malice, just complete and utter certainty. “We cannot, in good conscience, let a pony who would willingly risk himself for strangers die without trying to help him. If we truly are immune, then we must do everything in our power to aid the ponies who aren’t.”
Swan was tired of wasting her talents behind some front desk. She was going to do everything in her power to make a difference and that included enlisting this colt.
“But…” the unicorn stuttered, alarmed at the sudden hostility. With the exception of Swan, everypony in the room was now glaring at him, daring him to refuse. She could tell he was close to breaking. He just needed one more push.
“If there are any mistakes you wish atone for, now is the time.”
He paused for half a minute before slowly nodding.
“Well why the fuck not.” He stood with a sigh, clearly not expecting to live through the next few minutes. “But when we die, I’m blaming you, got that?” He pointed his hoof strait at her. All she did was smile, pleased it hadn’t taken much to convince him.
“So how do you want to do this?” the brown colt said. Trip was busy dragging the unconscious pony into the back room,
“If you’re going out there, you’ll need weapons.” The zony reached into her holster and drew a revolver. It looked freshly
“Does it look like a need a weapon?” he asked, stomping the ground. Even with this (relatively) light tap they could feel the vibrations. Swan picked up the paddle and looked to Tanner.
“You ready?” She nodded, as did the others. “Alright then.” He moved up to the door, taking a position by the handle. “Go on three. One…”
“You sure you don’t want a weapon?” the unicorn asked the brown stallion.
“Please. I got in worse fights in Neigh Orleans. I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.”
“Two…”
“Be careful.” Swan looked over to see the green mare. She nodded, but doubted there was anything careful about fighting the undead.
He wasn’t serious was he? There was no way…
“Fuck it! THREE!” Tanner slammed the door open, letting in the faint afternoon sunlight.
Oh yeah, he was serious. DEAD serious, clichéd as it was.
The view itself was stunning. The surf shack was right on a white sandy beach. Celestia’s sun was just setting off to the right. There was a small sandbar not fifty feet out with a cluster of gnarled palm trees growing on it. The whole thing projected an air of peace and serenity.
The effect was somewhat ruined by the pony hanged from one of the trees.
And the twenty or so monsters surrounding a battered looking orange stallion swinging a length of metal pipe.
The creatures were bloody, wretched, ghouls. Their coats were faded and patches of hair had fallen out at random. All of them sported rotting wounds and gashes. Some were even missing chunks out of their legs or backs, or even their jaws. There were unicorns, earth ponies, zebras, even a few pegasai were flying around (the ones that had intact wings). Their eyes were bloodshot yellow, or a pale creamy white, making them look like something out of an old storybook.
All of them were making the same soulless moan she’d heard this morning. It chilled her soul and raised the fur on the back of her neck. As much as she hated to admit it, there was no way these things could be alive.
*WHAM*
She felt a sharp pain in her side as her hooves left the wooded deck. She fell hard, seeing a screaming corpse thing standing over her. Without warning it went soaring over her head, landing in the sand with a crack. The brown stallion (she really should get their names) appeared in the doorway.
He jumped down and ran straight at the nearest zombie, turning at the last second to give it a buck that shattered its skull. Another tried to bite his leg, but a fire extinguisher traveling at high speed sent it careening off towards the larger group, knocking two of the corpses down. A loud bang split the air as the zony entered, firing off her gun into the horde which by now had turned its attention the new, noisier group, taking some of the pressure of the beleaguered orange colt.
“Right…sorry.” She quickly found her paddle and surveyed the battle. Brown had made his way over to orange while purple and gold were busy taking potshots at the surrounding corpses. They had racked up quite an impressive kill count, managing to down ten of them in about half a minute. However, more were approaching from further down the beach and they were being hassled by six or so flyers.
This would be her job.
Taking to the air with a few flaps, Swan charged the nearest one, smacking it square across the jaw with the paddle. The combined force of the charge and the hard wooden oar turned its head into a red, pulpy mess. The now re-killed lump unceremoniously flopped back to earth where it landed on an approaching dead zebra.
Let it never be said that Swan did things half-assed.
Swan stopped for a second staring at the two unmoving lumps. She’d just killed them. No second thoughts, no hesitation, no prays for forgiveness, she’d just flown straight in and killed two equines because they looked like monsters. For a moment, she was overcome by sadness at the fact that it had taken her less than a minute to go from ‘trained to kill’ to ‘killer’.
The feeling passed almost immediately as one of the flyers dive bombed her. She had just enough time to avoid a collision, but not enough to stop it scraping her back with its hoof.
Sad later. KILL NOW!
The other four had already forgotten the grounded ponies, and were focusing their efforts on the closer survivor. They didn’t look very strong, but with all five of them on her ass, things were getting dicey.
She flew upwards, hoping to gain some altitude on her adversaries. Sure enough, the five corpses started lagging almost immediately, lacking the strength for any type of speed. Sensing an opportunity, she turned into an angled dive, bringing herself up just over the top of one of her followers. Her hooves snapped against his skull, sending him spiraling down with a scream.
Two down, four to go.
The remaining flyers tried to flip and catch her, but their turns were to slow, their movements to jerky. Before they had even completely turned around, she’d already dived back and smashed one of them in the head. Blood, brains, and cerebrospinal fluid spilled out into the afternoon sky.
A rush of confidence hit her. These things were weak. Hell, she’d had tougher guests at the reception desk. Apocalypse my ahhhhhhhh…
A new corpse, this one in a lot better shape, appeared in front of her. She crashed into it going at least sixty. The both of them went tumbling end over end in the air. She had the good fortune to land on top. The infected below her died with an audible snap as its spine shattered into a thousand pieces, but not before it coughed up a load of blood right into her face.
“Ack!” She screamed and spat, temporarily blinded by the disgusting revenge act. She rolled off the dead pony still shuddering from the surprise of blood and the shock of the crash.
“You alright there?” a familiar voice said. She wiped the blood onto her arm to get a look at the speaker. It was the orange stallion from earlier, now a lot worse for wear. He was sitting under a palm tree, now unnoticed by the monsters who were busy dealing with a greater threat. No bites though…
“I’m fine. It’s you we are worried about.”
“Heh-heh. I could see that.” He started to chuckle, which was a little discomforting since he was covered in blood.
“If you two are done flirting then GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE AND HELP US!” the unicorn roared. They were surrounded by at least seven corpses and the remaining three flyers. More could be seen running up the beach. This fight wasn’t done yet.
Something nudged her shoulder. She looked over to see the stallion holding her paddle in his mouth. He placed it gingerly on the ground.
“What are you waiting for? Get bloody going!”
She gave him a nod. Sweeping up the paddle, she flared her wings and charged the undead herd.
The paddle head broke with the force of the blow. The corpse in question suddenly found its brains leaking from its ears. It collapsed without a sound and finally, FINALLY, there was silence.
“Dammit.” Swan looked dejectedly at her now useless oar. Angrily, she kicked the dead pony’s head, causing it to split open completely. This garnered stares from her companions. “What? I liked that paddle.”
The creaking of wood split the darkening air as Tanner poked his head out the door.
“HOLY SHIT!” He stared openly at the carnage around them. They hadn’t been gentle. The earth pony had smashed quite a few to bits with his powerful hooves. Several had rocks where there really shouldn’t be rocks courtesy of the unicorn. And she was no slouch with that paddle (though she would have preferred a sword). The only one of them who hadn’t made horror story worthy kills was the zony who had dispatched her share with a seemingly endless supply of bullets.
“I know. Amazing aint it!” The (mostly) unharmed orange stallion walked into view. “And look!” He held up his right foreleg. “No bites.” At this he threw his head back and laughed. The rest of them cracked smiles.
“Trip! They saved Cinnamon! You owe me fifty bits!” This time everypony joined in Cinnamon’s laughter as Trip’s swearing drifted out from the shed. Cinnamon wiped his eyes with one hoof.
“Heh-heh-heh…whew…I need a drink.”
There was a slam as Cinnamon put his bottle on the table, taking a big gulp of air as he did so. The other nine ponies all jumped in unison. He chuckled.
“Well…that’s better.” He gave them all a friendly smile, particularly the four immunes that were sitting together in a corner. “Now then. Who are you?”
“Wait…what?” the unicorn exclaimed. By the way his face scrunched up, Swan guessed he was insulted. “Come on! I played for the fucking champions! MVP twice! On track for the hoofball hall of fame!” They said nothing so he continued grudgingly. “Cart crash five years ago. In all the papers.” Sleet looked like she was going to say something, but ended up scratching her chin in confusion. The unicorn sighed. “I’ve been promoting the blood drive? The colt that toured all across Equestria. I gave like seven pints!” Goose made a polite cough.
“I would like to point out that none of us are in Equestria at the moment. And we obviously don’t know who you are so just TELL US ALREADY!” She stared at him with all the wrath of a disappointed grandmother. He held his ground for a few seconds, but then faltered with a sigh.
“Longshot. Former quarterback of the Detrot Manticores.” He sat back down, muttering something about respect.
“Well, now that horn head’s out of the way, I guess I'll go next,” the purple zony called out. “Names Spurna. Bodyguard.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen you around before,” the brown stallion said. “Never dancing though. Damn shame.” This was, of course, followed by a death glare. He grinned at her. “Name’s…”
“We all know who you are Hoodoo,” Doormare called out. Swan had to fight the urge to facehoof. How the fuck didn’t she recognize him? Hoodoo Voodoo, famous rapper. He performed four times a week on Diamond Island. She’d seen him once. Never cared for his music.
“Hey Longshot. Guess who’s more famous?”
“Just shut the fuck up.” The unicorn buried his head deeper into the couch. Cinnamon chuckled.
“Well, what about you miss?” Realizing it was her turn, she stood gracefully.
“I am Swan May. Receptionist.” He smiled.
“Oh yeah. Saw you when you first came in here," Mulberry stated. Satisfied, Cinnamon clapped his hooves and stood up. “Welp, guess it’s my turn. Names Cinnamon. Cinnamon Pie. Lifeguard.” Made sense. His cutiemark was a life preserver.
“Now then,” his voice took on a far more serious tone and the smile fell away. “What are we going to do?” Everypony stared at him. Swan hadn’t thought past this point. Hell, she was surprised she lived to this point. She sort of just expected someone else to have it all figured out. “Nopony has any ideas?” They all shook their heads. He sat back down and ran a hoof through his nonexistent mane. “Well…fuck.”
A light went off behind him. Ten heads snapped to it in perfect unison.
A letter had appeared on the desk.
Nopony moved. They were all too busy staring openmouthed at the scroll. Swan went back to her room.
“When I first woke up in the hotel...” All eyes turned to her. She swallowed and continued. “A scroll appeared on my desk. It told me to get out and avoid the infected. I probably would have been killed without it.” Cinnamon nodded sagely and they all continued to stare at the letter.
“Oh for goodness sake!” To Everypony’s surprise, Sleet suddenly grabbed the letter with her magic. Floating it over, she unfurled it in a quick motion and began to read.
“Nice job with those infected. Saw the whole thing. Fucking brilliant. It’s good to know somepony over there can handle themselves.
Now onto the bad news. I’m not going to sugarcoat this. You’re fucked. A new virus somehow got release on Ponoi and…well…you’ve seen the results. And it’s only going to get worse. The combined kingdoms of the world issued a royal decree earlier. Real hush, hush stuff. Basically, nopony gets in, nopony gets out. Except through me.
Now I know you must all feel like the unluckiest ponies in the world right now, but I need you to trust me. Our connection to the island is ten…crappy at best. We need to fix that. You need to find a magic amp. That will allow us to send fire-wire letters to the island. Do this and I can tell you how to get off this rock. You need to hurry though. The brass don’t like the idea of the walking dead so they might do something drastic.
Good luck, and watch yourselves.
There are worse things than zombies out there. ”
Sleet looked up from the letter with wide eyes. Hoodoo gave a low whistle. Cinnamon nodded his head, then started to pace.
“We’re going to need food, medicine, a place to stay…” The other ponies watched him for a few minutes. After starting on a very promising rut he jumped up and smacked his forehead. “The lifeguard station! Oh goddess I’m an idiot.” The surrounding ponies stared at him blankly until Tanner managed to find his voice.
“Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean the lifeguard station?”
“I mean we should go there! It has everything a pony could need! Food, water, a gate…” he stopped for a moment, then facehoofed again, this time throwing a groan into the mix. “The gate! Of all the fucking…FUCK!” He grabbed the empty bottle of Buck and threw it against the wall. It burst into shards, some of which dusted Goose, but did no more than make her scream. Hoodoo burst out laughing.
“I think that Buck’s starting to buck you.”
“That was a horrible pun,” Spurna nickered.
“Buck you,” he said. Spurna just sighed.
“What is the problem?” asked Swan.
“The gate,” he said dejectedly. “I locked it when I went to work this morning. It has a crystal reader. Won’t open without my I.D.” They collectively groaned. Cinnamon just stared at the ground with a depressed look on his face. Then he looked up with a determined look in his eyes. “It’s only five, maybe ten minutes away. Bungalow 14. I leave now I can…
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?” Trip shouted. “Earlier you took twenty steps out that door and almost came back in pieces. Or as one of…THEM! Now you want to go back out there?”
“Listen…”
“NO YOU LISTEN! One wrong move, one quick nip, one tiny SCRATCH, and you’re dead! As a doctor I can’t, in good conscience, let you kill yourself! And it would be killing yourself, believe me. I’ve seen suicides, but this takes the fucking cake! And I’m pretty sure you’re drunk.” The lifeguard laughed.
“No arguments there. Alright then, so I can’t go out there again, right?”
“I’ll scalp you if you try.” The look on Trip’s face showed total seriousness. It scared Swan just a bit. After all he’d been the one holding the paddle. She had no doubts he was capable of such things.
“Okay, okay. Easy.” He stopped for a moment, deep in thought. Then his eyes shot open wide and he turned to Swan and the other three warriors with one of the scariest grins she’d ever seen. “I can’t go back out there, but you…”
She swallowed. It was obvious, maybe even logical. But that didn’t mean she had to like it. Longshot put it best.
“Anypony else feel like they’ve just been handed the shitshovel?”
End of Act 0
Ponoi: A Paradise to Die For
Tape 1
He walked quickly through the crowd, flashing his guest pass to the burly Diamond Dog bouncer. With a quick nod, he waved him into the complete and utter chaos that was the Princess Palms’ premium island. Only guests who sprung for the diamond bungalows got access to the best food, the best booze, and the best entertainment in the resort.
He was just damn lucky he knew a good forger.
Slipping through the crowd was a hassle as the entire island was filled to bursting with drunk, gyrating, young equines. The base alone was enough to shatter skulls and was that mare doing salt? Out in front of everypony? Unbelievable.
He was seriously beginning to doubt his contacts sanity when he had the misfortune to try his luck and go around the bar.
“Fuck you!” he said, slapping his hoof away. The unicorn stood up under his own power, albeit shakily. He locked an absolutely vicious glare onto the poor colt who was now officially damning his contact for making him go through this mess. “Do you have any idea who your fucking talking to?” he asked, voice slurred by drink.
“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.” He rolled his eyes at the unicorn’s bluster which only succeeded in setting him off further.
“I used to play for the fucking champions!” He threw his forelegs wide in a petty display of showmareship.
“Well how very nice for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m supposed to meet somepony here.”
“Oh, what a coincidence,” he said with a smirk. “Cause my hoof’s supposed to meet somepony to…UP YOUR ASS!” By now a small crowd had formed around them. Some egging them on, some calling for security, and some just sitting and watching.
He just sighed.
“Look, I think we got off on the wrong hoof he…”
“Actually, that’s my right hoof.” He had to suppress the urge to groan.
The unicorn moved to punch him again but was grabbed by a pair of large, furry paws.
“Hey! What is…PUT ME DOWN!”
“Give him a dip in the ocean. Should sober him up.” A striking purple zony walked up with a disgusted frown turned towards the colt. The angry gold pony was dragged off site kicking and screaming, much to the approval of the crowd. “You alright?”
“Perfectly fine.” He gingerly touched his jaw. “Might need some ice in the morning though.”
“Awww, it aint to bad.” She rooted around in her bag for a moment before coming up with a tiny gold card. He grabbed it with his magic, giving it a once over. “That’ll get you free drinks for the rest of the night. Compliments of the hotel.”
“Thanks.” He slipped the card into the right pocket of his jacket.
“Don’t mention it.” The sound of breaking glass sounded off from somewhere in the crowd. “Never a moments rest. OI! WHO’S THE FUCKTARD THROWING BOTTLES?” She walked off in the direction of the noise.
A small distance away, a red-haired pegasus in a hotel uniform threw back a shot, a scowl plastered on her face. She muttered something along the lines of “damn tourists” before heading off towards the bathroom.
He sighed once more and made his way over to a secluded table. As he sat down the DJ, a zebra with a mane dyed at least seven different shades of neon, made an announcement.
“Everypony having fun?” The crowd cheered. “Good, cause I’m here ALL NIGHT LONG, BAYBY!” The cheers turned to boo’s. The DJ just laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I know who you’re here for. The big colt will be out in a few minutes. Got to finish preparing you know? All those high class, washed-up types are like that.” A few polite laughs. “Till then, we managed to get our slimy hooves on some new stuff from the mare herself, DJ-PON3!”
The crowd went wild. The management had been trying to get PON3 here for ages, but she never took the job. Even when they offered her a custom bungalow for her and her marefriend. She just kept saying this place was a trap and the only time they’d ever see her there was after she’d finished living. Made him wonder what that said to the headliner.
“Yeah that’s right, fillies and colts. Straight to your ears before it even hits the stores. This is DJ m0noCrom3 bringing you Vinyl Scratch’s Euphoric Dream. Heh, hope I’m in it.”
There were a few more laughs and even a couple whistles as the zebra dropped another skull shattering base. He winced and put his hooves to his temples, trying to banish the migraine that was slowly forming.
“Not your thing?” a voice beside him said.
“No, not since college.” He turned to the speaker, a well-dressed zebra with a straight mane and a tattoo of a snake running all around his face. “Anaconda.”
“Mr. Archer. Good to finally see you in the flesh.”
“Same.” A waitress sauntered over to their table.
“What’ll it be gentlecolts?”
“Whiskey, no ice,” the zebra answered.
“Vodka, straight from Ursul if you have it.” He fished in his pocket for the little golden card. After showing it to the mare, she smiled and walked off in the direction of the bar. Anny eyed the card suspiciously.
“It would seem you are moving up in the world.”
“Nope just lucky.” He slipped it back into his pocket and gave his counterpart a dead stare. “We came here to talk, so talk.”
“Why so formal? It’s a party after all. Loosen up.”
“I don’t have time to ‘loosen up.’ I have a job to do, I’d prefer to do it and get off this goddess forsaken island.”
“Well then, how would you like to leave right away?” Archer’s eyes narrowed.
“What do you mean?” The zebra leaned in close while his voice dropped down to a whisper.
“The information you are asking for is very valuable. And very dangerous. There are certain equines on this island that won’t hesitate to take drastic measures to ensure it stays where it’s supposed to.”
“I’ve dealt with death threats before. It won’t be a problem.”
“Not like this.” Anny’s face suddenly took on a sad expression. “Billiard does not make idle threats. He always means every word he says. I urge you, drop this matter and go home.”
“We both know I can’t do that Anny.”
“Please, think of your son.”
“I am! I pull this off; I’ll have enough to retire, put him through college, and live until I'm dust in a high-rise in Canterlot!”
“But is it worth it?” The journalist was silent for a moment.
“If I just walk away, the dumping continues, the jungle gets clear-cut, Billiard gets away…”
“And Spade grows up with a father.”
The waitress came back with their drinks, setting each down gently before them. Archer looked at it for a moment, seeing a baby blue unicorn with a blonde mane and an old sports jacket staring right back.
“I have a job to do. I’m not leaving till it’s done,” he said determinedly. The zebra sighed.
“Fine then! If you are so adamant about suicide…” He reached into his own pocket and pulled out a small key. He practically threw it at Archer. “That unlocks the door behind the reception desk. Past that is a hallway. The third door on the right is where we keep the files. Meet me there in three hours. If we last that long.” He stood and brushed a bit of dust off his suit. “Good luck. You’ll need it.”
He watched the zebra go, his mind sorting through what was told to him. It was true that he’d received death threats, but never from somepony so powerful. Billiard had bits floating around every major country on earth. From Equestria to the Serpent Isles. If Anny said the threats were serious than they were.
But so was he, and he had a family to support.
A commotion over by the stage drew his attention. The DJ wore a manic grin as he switched tracks.
A high pitched beat, almost like the tolling of bells, echoed throughout the club accompanied by some sort of tribal drum. A heavy fog appeared at the back of the stage as an enormous brown stallion appeared. He sneered evilly as he walked up the mike.
<a href=" You> aint scared…yet.
Things that go bump in the night? Me.
It’s me…
Shrunken heads, broken legs, body parts on the concrete! Cut em up, butcher style, gators in the swamp! Red light, leave ‘em dead, runnin’ like a track meet! Scared of nopony, WHAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANT? Believe me when I tell ‘em I’m a boogymare beast! Leave ‘em slashed from their head to their seat! Pin pricks to the chest of a bitch well earned! Cooking meat, cannibal tryna eat!
I got a zombie army, and you can’t harm me! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Drink blood like a vampire without warning! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! (Stand up!) Yeah, I got the thing that goes bump in the night! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Hide your foals, grab your wife, better get out of site! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! (Let’s go!)
Yeah, I’m with Papa Shango and Baron Samedi! Mouth full of hoof bits, toss ‘em up like confetti! Stable of corpse bitches, I’m a pimp of the dead! Come fuck with a zombie, I’ll put a stake in your head! Look, you want ghouls? I got fuckin’ platoons! Baby, everypony dies, I’ll see your ass real soon! Crack bones to the marrow, hot sauce while they suck it! Now my juju aint nothing to FUCK WITH!
I got a zombie army, and you can’t harm me! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Drink blood like a vampire without warning! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! (Stand up!) Yeah, I got the thing that goes bump in the night! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Hide your foals, grab your wife, better get out of site! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! (Let’s go!)
Cut your head off, leave you motherfuckers dead!
I got a zombie army, and you can’t harm me! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Drink blood like a vampire without warning! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Yeah, I got the thing that goes bump in the night! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! Hide your foals, grab your wife, better get out of site! HOODOO’S YOUR VOODOO, BITCH! (It's me)
The performance got a standing ovation. Apparently, the crowd was just drunk enough to appreciate a song they’d probably heard fifty times like it was new. Though it might have had something to do with the singer punching some drunk asshole off the stage halfway through the show.
Shaking his head, he threw back his drink and turned toward the exit. Three hours was just enough time to get back to his bungalow and wash the stink of this place off him.
He heard a slap and some screaming. The gold unicorn had snuck back in and proceeded to hit on everything female within shouting distance. He was currently being dragged out by his horn.
Archer chuckled to himself. Tonight he would get the dirt on Billiard and by tomorrow it would be formatted and off to Equestria Daily. Then he’d just half to sit back and ride out the last three days of his ‘vacation’.
Who knows? He might actually get some rest.
Ponoi: A Paradise to Die For
Act 1: Blood
“Get up!”
Hoodoo found himself rolled violently off the couch to land painfully on the hard wooden floor. He looked up to see his assailant, the purple zony, standing sourly above him.
“What the hell?”
“It’s your watch. Besides, your snoring could, and probably did, wake the dead.”
“Thank you!” called out Longshot. The stallions had graciously (almost as if they had a choice) given the mares the back room and as such were all piled in the front room.
It was decided that since the four immunes were the only ponies capable of dealing with the infected, they’d get the honor of guard duty. He had last watch.
“You could have just shook me or something.”
“Yeah. I could have.” She turned and walked back to her room, his scowl chasing her. With a groan, he stood up and cracked his back. It was going to be a long two hours of staring at nothing.
They’d left the door open just a crack so he could see outside. With a grunt, he nudged it open a bit more and took a look.
The bodies from yesterday were still there. After all, where would they go? However they were now joined by about seven zombies who were busy eating the corpses. Being vegetarians, equines lacked the sharp teeth necessary for meat eating. As such, they had to grip the flesh in their jaws and shake it loose. The result was congealed blood and bits of rotting flesh flying almost comically around them.
Hoodoo resisted the urge to throw up.
Shuddering a little, he sat in front of the door and watched the ‘cleanup crew’ work. In about an hour they managed to pick about four corpses clean, in addition to the sixteen or so they’d had before his shift. They were machines, never stopping, never tiring, and never full.
They were also very boring. Horrible, bloodthirsty, and monstrous, but boring.
“Wait. Why am I just sitting here? I got zombies to bash!”
He put on a huge shit-eating grin and stepped out of the shack, closing the door behind him. Standing on the deck, he watched for a few minutes. The stupid things hadn't even noticed him yet. Smirking, he let out a sharp whistle.
Seven heads immediately snapped to him. Thus began the slow forward shuffling and incessant moaning. Just like in the stories.
Now things got interesting.
When the closest one got about three feet away he jumped. It was an earth pony mare with half of her face a bleeding mess. The rest followed suit as he landed, two hooves down, on the top of her head. There was a resounding squish and she lay still.
Turning on instinct, he bucked another straight in the chest. The zombie flew back about five feet before crashing into the ground. It sat there, struggling to breath with the enormous dent he’d put in its chest. Even with the damage, it was already trying to get up. He ran over and stomped on its head.
The zombie’s skull exploded in a shower of blood, brains and broken bones. Hoodoo stared at it for a few seconds. He always knew he was strong, but…DAMN! Two days ago he was singing a crappy song in a club and now he was smashing heads with one kick.
It frightened him a little.
A moan from behind him stole his attention and he turned to lay down another punch.
And so it went. All told, it took him about three minutes to handle the remaining zombies. Which meant he still had another hour before anypony else would wake up. Giving a sigh of boredom, he started walking amongst the corpses, looking for anything to keep him occupied.
Had that zombie always been there? He couldn’t really recall seeing one slumped against a tree like that. Curiosity overpowering caution, he trotted up to the crouching corpse. Looking at it now, he definitely didn’t recall it being there yesterday.
He might have just missed it. After all, you don’t really notice everything when you’re fighting for your life. Or maybe one of the others got it earlier. He couldn’t have been the only one to get bored.
He leaned forward, giving it a once over. It was a zebra mare, probably pretty before…changing. He slowly reached out and gave her a tap.
He jumped back as the corpse shifted than fell back to its original position. He stayed there for maybe five minutes. Finally, giving a sigh of defeat, he chuckled to himself.
“You’re getting paranoid, Hoodoo. Just some poor bitch that got killed is all.” Now smiling, he turned back to the door, planning to finish his watch inside.
“Rrrraaaaaaaaa!”
“SHIT!”
A zombie had snuck up behind him! The second he turned around it had jumped him, using momentum to force him on the ground. Within a second it had its teeth on his neck and started ripping. He screamed as he felt flesh tear and hot blood splash against his neck.
*Crash*
The zombie fell off him, blood streaming from its head. An end table coated in a golden aura floated above its head. The table flew down again, turning the skull into paste.
Hoodoo idly felt his neck. The wound was superficial at best, little more than a scrape. And since he was supposed to be immune he didn’t think it was that big of a deal. He turned to see Longshot who stood over him with an impassive stare.
“Hey, thanks…”
Longshot suddenly reared up and brought both his front hooves down on Hoodoo’s face.
“Now SHUT UP!” He walked back to the shack without another word. Hoodoo just laid there, hooves to his head
“Now if we ration it right, the food there could last a week. Maybe ten days if we push it. Medicine on the other hoof…”
Hoodoo wasn’t paying attention. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about all this ‘rationing’ shit. Especially when they didn’t even have the stuff they were supposed to be rationing yet. No, what he cared about was whether or not he developed heat vision and whether or not he could use it to blow a hole in Longshot’s head.
So far, results were not promising.
“If everything goes well, we should be safe there until help arrives.” Cinnamon looked up from the map they’d found. “Any questions?”
“Yeah, I got one.” He raised his hand, almost like being back in school. “Why are we just sitting here talking instead of actually getting shit done?” The older ponies face took on a disappointed frown. Yep, school.
“Fine. You have everything right?”
All four of them had been outfitted with new saddlebags which had been loaded up with first aid. Well, not loaded up. More like ‘anything we can spare even though you’re putting your sorry asses on the line instead of us’.
Swan was still upset they couldn’t find her a new paddle.
“Of course.”
“Yeah.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You know it.”
“Alright then.” He turned towards the exit. “Doormare.”
“Quit calling me that!”
“Then tell us your name, ya git!”
“Fuck you!”
Cinnamon rolled his eyes and motioned for him to just open the door. He complied, and quickly before running back to stand behind them. Coward.
Surprisingly there weren’t any more zombies outside. Just the half eaten and/or freshly dead corpses littering the sand.
“Who cares? We’re leaving anyway.”
“Still, they deserve a burial.”
“Yeah, they do.” Cinnamon walked up behind them to stare at the carnage. There was something profoundly sad in his eyes. “I’ll see what I can do. But you need to get going.”
“Right.” Spurna immediately took the lead. “You can last for a few hours on your own, right?” He nodded. “Good. Come on. Celestia aint gonna wait around all day for us to lie about. Let’s move.”
They stepped off the porch and made their way onto the fine sand.
Out into hell.
“Good luck,” he called from behind them. “And keep an eye out for my niece.”
“What’s she look like?”
“She’s pink and crazy.” Then he closed the door. Spurna shrugged.
“Right then, just have to get this key thing. How hard could it be?” Longshot stared at the stairs tentatively.
“Wait, why are we all doing this?” He pointed at Swan. “Can’t you just fly there and grab the key?”
“I could…but I would most likely perish.” She threw a hoof skyward, prompting them to look up.
“Oh…” The sky was swarming with zombie pegasai. Hoodoo could see at least fifty, maybe even a hundred, drifting lazily on the breeze. Spurna gave a nervous cough.
“Right…let’s just get going.”
The shed was at the base of a hill that had a flight of wooden stairs leading up it. It led directly to the bungalow section Cinnamon lived in. It was meant to give guests easy access to the beach, but now just gave zombies a way down to the shore. Luckily, they’d killed the curious ones yesterday, so they were in the clear. For now.
“You know we’re gonna die, right?”
“Thank you Longshot.”
“Anytime.”
Hoodoo sighed and kept walking. The wooden stairs were long and well maintained. He took a look out across the shore. The sun was just starting to rise out over the ocean casting everything in a golden sheen.
“Amazing isn’t it?” He turned to Swan who was three steps above him. “Such beauty even in this chaos."
He nodded.
“Hey check it out. The dangler’s twitching.” He transferred his gaze to the cluster off trees and saw that the hanged pony was in fact moving.
“Well look at that.” He turned to Longshot. “Dude must have got bit before he hung himself.” They looked back at the corpse, just watching it a while. “Could have sworn it was dead yesterday.”
“Maybe there’s a time delay, like in the stories.”
“A sunrise over one of the most beautiful islands in the world and you two notice the dead pony,” Spurna admonished.
“How is it that I’m the one who got stomped in the nuts, thanks for that by the way, yet you’re having trouble with stairs?”
The top of the stairs opened out into a small courtyard with two bungalows and a path between them. Swan and Spurna stood in between them, talking. He didn’t pay much attention. Mare talk never really held much interest for him.
Once again he felt boredom creeping up on him. Despite the wound on his neck (the gauze pad Trip applied itched like hell) his lesson had gone unlearned. So he found himself creeping up to the nearest bungalow. Number twelve.
They were standard fake wood affairs supposed to give the impression of living in an island village which was completely ruined by the spark stone lights strung up just inside the door. He could also here faint music coming from inside.
Wait…it was that song. He knew that song. It was the song that cost him wife number two. And gained him wife number three.
But that was later and this was now. Plus, there was porn music coming from the bedroom. Also grunts, but not the kind he expected. They seemed off. How could he resist?
Tentatively, he trotted up to the door and inched it open.
“Awww, what the fuck?”
The music was playing from an unattended record player that had probably been going for some time. How did he know this? Because there was a pretty green mare with a bite in her leg strapped to a bed while a rotting corpse sat down next to the wall.
“Seen some crazy shit in my day, but this?” With a sigh he turned to the struggling zombie. The second he came in she’d started straining the ropes to get at him. He could just leave her…no. The thought of something like that left a nasty feeling in his gut.
Dead or alive, nopony deserved to be left like that.
He reached over and quickly stomped on her neck. The mare twitched once before relaxing.
Deed done, he turned to the corpse.
“Ya know, when I sang ‘Go fuck with a zombie,’ I didn’t think anypony’d actually take my advice.”
The corpse sprang up and bit him on the shoulder, just above his jacket.
“FUCK!” Again? Seriously?
He rolled, using the colt’s momentum against him. He ended on top and ripped its mouth off him. A quick head-butt stunned him enough for Hoodoo to roll off. Once on his feet, it was a simple matter to kick the fucker in the head. A small amount of brains (completely understandable considering he tried to hump a zombie) splattered over the bed sheets.
It was at that exact moment Swan burst in.
“I heard a scream! What’s…” She trailed off after seeing the tied up zombie, the dead zombie, the record player, and the camera in the corner.
“As much as you want to deny it, it was exactly what it looks like.”
All she did was stare, her jaw practically on the floor. He didn’t blame her. Out of all the weird shit he’d heard about, seen, or done (don’t ask), this took the prize for most fucked up fetish ever.
“These ponies disgust me sometimes.” She turned and left. Realizing he probably shouldn’t let the wound sit there, he went to the bathroom. Unlike the rest of the shack which was done in wood, the bathroom had a more modern style using that patterned white tile one usually associates with bathrooms.
Oddly enough, there was an energy bar sitting on the counter. His stomach rumbled just looking at it. Ripping off the wrapper with his teeth, he ate the entire thing in two bites.
Hoodoo felt…better. The wound in his shoulder even hurt less. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he ignored the feeling and washed out his bite. Finding nothing of value, he left.
Swan was waiting for him in the front room. They exchanged a brief nod and went out to meet Spurna and Longshot. The zony’s eyes widened at the sight of his shoulder.
“What the hell happened to you?” He shrugged, then winced as he realized how stupid that was with a hurt shoulder.
“Alright then…No more adventures,” she scolded. “Things are going to be hard enough without you running off like a fucking toddler!” He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Good. Now I think fourteen is this way…”
“Wait, wait, wait! You THINK? Don’t you ponies live here?” asked Longshot.
“In the diamond section,” Hoodoo and Spurna rattled off in unison.
“I lived in the hotel. I rarely had reason to come here,” Swan stated. He stared at them in incredulously.
“Unbelievable.”
Spurna shrugged and started walking. Having no other leads they followed (Hoodoo was pleased to see Longshot limping) along the path. He hung back with Swan.
“You alright?” She gave him a look.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“We just saw some really freaky shit. Or at least what was trying to be some real freaky shit. Just making it’s not bothering you.”
“There are worse things in life than two corpses and bad music. Is it bothering you?”
“A little yeah. I mean, what kind of sick fuck actually fucks a zombie?”
“Isn’t that one of your song lyrics?”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“Bloody hell.” It was just a whisper, but they heard it all the same. Dashing ahead, Swan nearly ran into Spurna, who was just sitting there a few feet beyond. Swan looked like she was going to say something, but stopped and joined the zony. He ran up to meet them. Yesterday they’d charged a mob of bloodthirsty cannibals. And Swan just saw the voyeur shoot from hell. What could possibly…
Oh.
“Somepony’s having a bad day.”
He couldn’t have possibly put it better himself.
One thing was for sure, Cinnamon was a valued employee. Why else would they give him a hut with a pool right in front of it?
Actually, with how much there was, it was downright terrifying. Anypony would think so when they couldn’t tell whether it was filled with water or blood. Or when it was filled with dead bodies. Or when there was a crying, blood red pegasus colt sitting in the middle of the carnage.
“I’m so sorry…” he whispered to a particularly big stallion with a knife sticking out of his back. They stared slack jawed, trying to process how that much blood could possibly come from just five bodies. A minute passed with them doing nothing but watch the red pony weep, the blood of the dead indistinguishable from the color of his coat. After what seemed like an age, Swan cleared her throat.
“Mister…are you alright?” He said nothing. Just kept looking at the bodies. “Sir? Sir, can you hear me?” She stepped closer, going so far as to enter the water with him. “Sir? Are you…”
“DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M FUCKING ALRIGHT?” he suddenly yelled. All four of them jumped. The colt glared at them, steam practically coming from his nostrils. Somehow, this guy scared Hoodoo more than the zombies. He guessed it was the same for the others since Spurna was quick to draw her gun.
“I’m just gonna get the key.” Longshot tiptoed around the pool to the bungalow. It was extra-large, probably a deluxe. If there was one thing he liked about the Palms, it was how they treated their employees. They got everything, even full dental from Colgate Total Insurance. Taking one last nervous look at the blood/water, the ex-quarterback slipped inside.
“I…” Swan began.
“DON’T YOU FUCKING START!” The colt advanced on her. There was an audible click as Spurna switched off the safety. Hoodoo tensed up, ready to spring at a moment’s notice. “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF YOUR BULLSHIT APOLLOGIES, CONDOLENCES, OR PROMISES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I JUST DID?”
A muffled curse came from inside the hut. The sound of splintering wood tore through the air. The colt switched from an angry glare to a devastated expression. He slowly pointed to one of the corpses. A silver mare.
“My wife…” his hoof shifted to a rust colored stallion, “my dad,” he moved it one more time to a dull brown colt, “my brother. LUNA, MY OWN FUCKING BROTHER!” He broke down into fresh sobs, beating at the water weakly. There was one final crash from inside the hut. Swan moved closer to the pegasus.
“I lost my father to. Not very long ago.” The colt said nothing. Hoodoo was content to let her talk. She was a receptionist for a reason; he wasn’t even on speaking terms with his mother. “I know it hurts. It will never stop hurting. But they wouldn’t want you to…”
“Did you kill him?” he asked suddenly.
“Did. You. Kill. Him?” He got back to his hooves and took another step towards swan. “Did you put a knife in your father’s throat and watch him die? I did.” He pressed his face right up against hers. “So don’t you DARE try to compare your hurt to mine, you stupid, snake-eating, WHORSE!”
“Son of a bitch!” They heard Longshot scream from inside the bungalow. More wood broke along with the dull thumps of metal hitting flesh. Hoodoo looked at Spurna. She shook her head towards crazy-eyes and went off into the hut herself. The message was clear: Make sure he doesn’t try anything.
“I…” Swan stammered.
“SHUT UP!” The pegasus took a few steps back. Right next to the knife. “Maybe I should show you the hurt, huh? Maybe you’d like that snake-eater.” His eyes glanced to the reflective blade, then back to her. “Maybe then you’d understand.” Hoodoo swallowed. This was getting bad, fast.
“Look pony, we don’t want trouble. Just let us get something from the hut and…”
Fast as lightning, the knife appeared in the colt’s mouth. A gunshot went off inside the bungalow. He ran towards the rapper, eyes crazed with bloodlust. The red pony moved fast, but Swan was faster. She dive-tackled him into the side of the pool. The knife went flying out of his mouth and clattered to the tile a short distance away.
Not one to be left out, Hoodoo charged just as the colt cheap-shotted Swan, throwing her off him. Before the earth pony could get his hooves around the bastard’s neck he flapped, lifting himself a short distance in the air. Just enough to give Hoodoo a kick in the head.
He stumbled backwards, his eyes going cross as the kick rattled his brain. Blood (what Hoodoo decided to call him) was on him in less than a second. He stomped both hooves down on Hoodoo’s neck, choking the life out of him.
The corners of Hoodoo’s vision began to darken. He tried to lift his forelegs up to bash the fucker’s brains in, but they were battered away by his wings. He settled for beating the tile franticly, throwing red water all around them.
Swan came out of nowhere, slamming into Blood for the second time. They tumbled out of the pool in a heap, rolling and scratching each other. Hoodoo sucked in the biggest breath of air he could. He laid there panting, listening to the sounds of the fighting pegasai while he got his breath back. The sound of breaking wood drifted out of the bungalow accompanied by heavy cursing and gunshots.
After what seemed like an eternity (though it was only about twenty seconds), he rolled over to check on the fight.
Both were bruised, bloody, and it looked like Swan had torn some feathers out of Blood’s wing. She now had a bloodied muzzle and Blood had torn the gauze off her side.
The buck sent her flying back at least five feet to slide painfully on the tile. The colt shakily got to his feet. He snarled at the pegasus and started a slow advance. Swan looked back and joined him.
Hoodoo struggled to his feet only to flop back into the water. The colt limped towards her. The smile on his face could only be described as manic, enough rage in his eyes to scare the nose ring off a minotaur. Her cold determined stare equally matched his in intimidation. It was like one of the old Roaman epics his grandmother would tell him when he was just a little colt.
They jumped simultaneously, crashing with enough force that Hoodoo swore he heard something break.
More gunshots came from inside the bungalow. There was a sharp scream. Just what the fuck was going on in there?
“Hey, asshole!” he croaked. The colt had thrown Swan off again. She lay face down a good ten feet from the red pony. Blood spared Hoodoo a glance. “What’s red and blue and surprised as hell?” Blood looked at him like he was stupid.
“YOUR FACE!”
The corpse hit him full on and the pegasus and his dead brother ended up in a heap. Hoodoo smiled in victory. Then he started retching. Stars appeared at the edges of his vision and he fell painfully back onto the tiles. That kick must have given him a concussion.
Blood shoved off his brother’s corpse and screamed. His eyes darted back and forth between the dry heaving Hoodoo and the still form of Swan. He hated himself, but he hoped the psycho picked the mare. He could barely breathe and that taunt hadn’t done his throat any good.
“You want to fuck with me, huh?” The red pony let out a hysterical laugh. “Course you do. Everypony does! All my life. You! Them…” he swung a hoof at the splayed corpses of his family. “NO MORE! I’m tired of eating other ponies shit! ‘A family vacation’ they said. More like an excuse to ditch me at the beach while they GO FUCK!” The sounds of fighting in the hut increased, gunshots being replaced by smashing wood and dull, hollow, thumps.
Blood turned his gaze to the corpse of his brother. With a roar he started beating the body mercilessly. Blood and bone fragments flew around him haphazardly as he screamed. The tile was slowly turned from a yellow-white to a vibrant crimson. When the body was nothing but a lump of meat he stopped. Hoodoo stared with wide eyes.
“You know, I’m glad I killed them,” he said suddenly. “They deserved it. Horrible ponies, all of them.” His eyes shifted. “Just like you.”
He dove for the downed Swan. The whole thing seemed to take in slow motion. Blood flew off the leaping colt in streams. His hooves gleamed, sharp enough to slice rock. Hoodoo would later swear the stallions eyes glowed red. The scream he was emitting seemed to echo continuously off the bloody tiles…
There was a wet plopping sound along with a short drizzle. Everything stopped for a moment. There was nothing save Swan and Blood.
The latter had a knife buried in the side of his throat.
“How’s…it…feel?” he somehow asked in a quiet voice. He died standing up, the whole while staring straight into Swans eyes. His body slid off the knife, landing in a heap next to her, crimson liquid leaking onto the tile.
“Swan?” he asked tentatively. She did nothing. Just stared at the tile. “You alright?” No response. “Swan?”
“Alright…alright. We got the key. How’d everything go…”
Hoodoo glanced at Spurna who’d appeared in the doorway. Cuts and bruises marred her form and her formerly straight mane was disheveled. It looked like a bit of it had been ripped out. She was bleeding from a fresh bite in her side.
“Crazy bastard…” he paused for a fit of coughing. He had a feeling his voice wouldn’t be back to normal for a day or two. “Crazy bastard attacked us. Kept talking shit about ‘How’s it feel?’ Sounded like he had some real issues. Swan had ta…you know.” He tried to stand but couldn’t. Spurna moved over to help him. Swan didn’t move. “Where’s Longshot?”
“Kicking a corpse,” she said dismissively. “There were a couple of the bastards in the hut. Others must of heard the fighting, so then we got ten of the fuckers tearing through the back wall. Hope Cinnamon doesn’t want this place back.”
“And just where the fuck were you two?”
“Longshot…”
“Didn’t you hear them in there going off like it was the fucking solstice?”
“Hey pony, listen for a second…”
“We almost died! And you just left us for the freaks!”
“Would you just…”
“Do either of you even give a damn about…”
“SHUT UP!” All three of them jumped at Swan’s outburst. She didn’t even look at them. Just glared at the space in front of her, panting like a dog in heat. “Just…just be quiet please.”
Longshot looked from her, to the corpse, to him, back to the corpse, back to her. His mouth formed a little silent O.
“Let’s just go,” Spurna said. Longshot nodded. The two of them started walking. They spared one glance for Swan. “I’m sorry,” Spurna mumbled as she passed. Hoodoo watched them leave. With a sigh, he trotted to Swan.
“Are you…”
“Save it.” She looked at him. There was no anger in her eyes, just sadness. “Like he said: Apologies, condolences, promises, they’re all worth shit.” Her gazed moved back to the corpse. “Only thing a pony can do is try to live with it.”
“No.” Her eyes closed and she took several deep breaths. “He was a good stallion. Always kind. Always honorable.” Her head turned towards him. “What was your father like?” He sighed for what must have been the thousandth time that day.
“No idea. Never met him. Way my mama talked, that might not be such a bad thing.” He put a hoof on her shoulder. “Look, you don’t have to take this alone, alright. I threw his own brother at him. I didn’t, and you never would have had time to get that knife. I killed him as much as you.”
“Yet I still thrust the knife.” She looked at it, lying there. The silver parts gleamed in the sunlight while crimson blood glittered. Reverently, she reached down and picked it up, moving it over to her bag. She put it gently inside, cradled next to a swath of bandages.
“You’re taking it?”
“I need a weapon. I’m trained with blades, so it makes sense. Besides, it’s saved my life once already. Why can’t it do so again?”
“True enough.”
“Come on!” Longshot called. He and Spurna had outdistanced them by a good five hundred feet and considering what happened the last time they split up…
“We should probably go.”
“Yeah.”
The two ponies left, leaving behind nothing but bloody water, a destroyed hut, and the bleeding remains of a pegasus.
The wood on the stairs creaked with his weight. Funny how he hadn’t noticed on the way up. He wondered if they’d collapse. He knew he was big, but not that big. Still, with all the noise they’re making…
“You guys smell smoke?”
Hoodoo sniffed the air. There was in fact, the acrid scent of smoke drifting through the air. Along with…something. Sickly sweet, it made him want to vomit. Whatever it was.
They reached the bottom in silence. What was there to say? At least Longshot wasn’t panting. Turns out her only had problems going up stairs.
“Check it out.”
The smoke came black and thick from the front of the shack. A large pile of meat sat in the sand. All of the bodies that had been laid out on the beach were stacked and slowly burning. By the looks of it, they’d even cut down the hanged zombie.
“What the hell happened to you?” the lifeguard asked.
Hoodoo looked at his companions. Swan was wearing a nice shiner on both of her eyes, Longshot and Spurna were covered in bites and scratches, and he had a concussion. Plus his voice was going to be messed up for a few days.
“How long were we gone?” asked Swan.
“Twenty minutes.” Tanner said.
They were beaten, hurt, some of them probably had trauma; all to get a key that would let them get in the place they wanted. Let alone clear, fortify, and stock the place. Then they’d have to last who knows how long against an island full of dead cannibals.
Twenty minutes and it looked like they’d fought a war.
“We might have a problem.”
