In a Cello Mood

Dear Diary,

Finally attending uni classes is nice. For a change. Funny thing, though, nothing seems too hard. Sure, there are taxing subjects, but I am sailing through them. It is Beauty that’s worrying me, and Vinyl’s commercial project.

I feel like we’ve been growing… No, not distant. Rather… Accustomed to each other. We no longer having sex every night, and our kisses have grown more resigned. But I have no fear. I don’t fear that Vinyl is no longer attracted to me. I don’t fear that she’ll leave me for somepony else. I suppose we’ve evolved past love at this point.

We’ve evolved into trust.

And we need this trust to make it through. Make it through with my abstination. I cannot say I don’t crave the light-headedness of alcoholic abuse, but Vinyl is making it easier to cope with. Make it through with Vinyl’s commercial project. Celestia knows that there is just so much competition in the EDM field nowadays. I can feel Vinyl clinging to me for respite. Make it through with Beauty’s depression. Which reminds me that we need to escort her to the doctor this afternoon.

...But first, Mom wants to talk to me and Vinyl about something.

***

“I wanted to talk to you two about something,” Eleanore said very seriously as the family of four sat at the dinner table.

Octavia gulped, knowing very well that if her mother was this serious, that meant that the matter at hoof was going to be very serious as well. Vinyl, however, had no idea that this side of Eleanore existed. For her, Octavia’s mother was caring, light-hearted and accepting. Well, technically speaking, she was all of that, Octavia had to admit, but she knew that she could also be stern. If necessary. But, right now, Octavia didn’t see the necessity for sternness.

“Where are you two going?”

Octavia blinked, opening her mouth to ask, but Vinyl preceded her. With a large grin, “Oh, we’re going to get Beauty Brass to the doc’s, like yesterday. We think it would be healthy for her if we accompanied her for now.”

Eleanore shook her head with a tiny smile that let Octavia know her mother wasn’t displeased with them, just serious. “No, sweetheart. I mean, where are you and Octavia going with your relationship?”

“Oh.” Vinyl’s ears drooped visibly. “I, uhm, I didn’t give it any thought. Since we can’t get married, or have foals, uh… I guess we’ll just keep dating?” She glanced at her marefriend hopefully. “Unless Tavi realises how stupid I am and dumps me for somepony actually smart.”

“Don’t be silly,” Octavia chided the white unicorn, tapping her on the forehead below the horn. “Well, I have been thinking about it. About us, I mean.”

“You have?” Vinyl blinked.

“Yes, I have,” Octavia confirmed with a nod. “And I’ve come to a conclusion. Even though we are not legally a family, I see family in Vinyl. And I will always love her. And we’ll live together, and, and-”

Octavia didn’t get to finish: both her marefriend and her mother rose from their seats and hugged her from both sides.

***

“Come on, Bea, just a little sip.”

Beauty shook her head defiantly and smiled a very tiny smile at Professor Dan, pushing the bowl of soup away. “Thank you, Professor Dan, I’m not hungry.”

“Bea, please, I am hungry.” The grey stallion looked at his own bowl longingly. “I won’t eat if you don't eat.” Once again, he pushed the soup slightly towards his guest. “Just a few spoonfuls.”

Beauty smiled the same tiny smile at the young stallion and took a spoon of her soup obediently. “At first it’s just a little sip and now it’s ‘a few spoonfuls’?” she asked playfully, leaving a wide grin on the stallion’s face.

“I don’t want to ruin it, but I think you’re doing better,” Professor Dan said carefully. “I know it’s only been one day, and pills take a while to work, but-”

“It’s the therapy,” Beauty replied, eating more of the delicious tomato soup. “I feel slightly better because I got to talk my heart out. Do you know what we talked about?”

“I think it’s private?” Professor Dan raised his brow while looking sideways at the bread next to the bowl. “I wouldn’t want you to have to confess private matters to me.”

“I don’t have to,” Beauty said, pushing the bowl and the untouched bread away. “I want to.” In the uneasy silence that followed, she continued, “We talked about my plush bear from childhood, Mister Tummers.” The blue mare’s face brightened enough for Professor Dan to feel a weird feeling in his stomach, which he made disappear immediately. “I loved him and slept with him and had tea parties with him.” She stopped abruptly and pulled the bowl of soup towards her, slurping it quickly.

Professor Dan didn’t want to ruin the idyllic moment, but the necessary words just sprung from his lips: “What happened?”

Beauty stopped mid-meal and looked up at the host. “Why would you assume something happened?” she asked a touch defensively.

“Because,” Professor Dan sighed, “you wouldn’t have mentioned it if nothing had happened.” He pushed away the bowl and the bread and placed his front hooves on the table. “Bea, if you don’t want to, you can hold it from me. But don’t hold it in. Tell your doctor about everything that might seem important, because, chances are, it really is important.”

“Who said anything about me not telling my doctor about it?” Beauty tossed her hair with a huff, leaving the young stallion breathless. He saw the gesture as if in slow-motion, a gesture of power and defiance, but at the same time not an evil gesture, but rather a sign of restoring health, a gesture of… beauty. The little pony in Professor Dan’s head facehoofed hard. “I’ve told her everything, and I’m telling you. Father gave it to one of my little cousins. Without telling me anything. I just came home and Mister Tummers was gone. We never talked about it.” For a moment, Beauty just stared at the wall opposite her, then shook her hand and dove into the meal again.

“I, I’m just glad you’re taking this whole thing seriously.” Professor Dan looked at his ex-student munching on the rye bread gracelessly, and yet it was the most perfect gesture. “Getting treatment from depression is hard, but it is a battle you have to fight.”

“You have a harder battle, Dan,” Beauty said quietly, both scaring the stallion by the form of addressing and sending his heart aflutter. “The battle with my father.”

“Honey, we’re home!”

Before the stallion could say anything - or react in any manner, a very familiar white unicorn stormed into the kitchen, followed by a more resigned and dignified earth pony mare. “Hey, Danissimo, how’s it going?”

“How did you get in?” Professor Dan managed after working his jaw for a few seconds. “I never gave you the keys!”

“The door was open,” Octavia chimed in, casting a look at Beauty Brass, as if trying to estimate just how much progress she had gone through since the previous day.

“I never leave the door open!” Professor Dan protested, looking at Vinyl suspiciously. “Now what you’ve done is breaking and entering and-”

“I did it, Dan,” Beauty spoke softly. “I wanted to go out for a walk, but then felt very sleepy and went to nap. Forgot to close the door.”

“Since when are captives allowed to go out?” Vinyl stomped on the floor. “You are here for your own good and-”

“Shut up, Vinyl,” Octavia hissed, watching Professor Dan get up and get in front of the blue mare, shielding her defensively. “Just shut up. She’s a guest, right, Professor Dan?”

“Exactly.” The grey stallion kept a pause, then stepped away, still standing at a safe distance to cover Beauty and protect her if necessary. It was an automatic gesture, instinctive, but touching nevertheless - or so it seemed to Octavia, whose little pony pranced in Lyra-like realisation. Or, maybe, she was just glad that it could mean Beauty was growing over her. Celestia, I am a disgusting mare for thinking such disgusting thoughts.

On the outside, Octavia managed a smile and extended her hoof towards Beauty, then pointed at the exit. “Shall we?”

***

Of course it would rain.

It could snow, for a change. After all, winter was nearing Equestria, to take over, still, prim, everlasting. But he just couldn’t do this without a disturbing feeling of noir pursuing him through the night. So it rained, it rained in blankets, and he hadn’t brought an umbrella.

He stopped before the club, neon light flickering softly in the night. Nodding to the bouncer, in he went, shrugging off dampness from his fur. Was he being expected? Of course he was being expected, see, right that table in the corner, with the black pegasus smoking a cigar.

“If this isn’t Dan the Man!”

What a stupid name. How much I hate you, he thought, smiling, sitting down at the table. This needed to be done. Everything had a price, and he was willing to pay the price. “How’re you doing, Scotch? Still chasing young mares at athletic events?”

“Oh, that’s rich!” The fat black stallion motioned for the waiter. “Here, give this boyo a whisky.” Wiping off his mouth with a napkin, the stallion turned to him. “What’s the matter, Dan? Why the sudden desire to pay me a visit? Is it about me owing you one?”

“Exactly, Scotch.” The whisky arrived, but he didn’t touch it. “There is a huge mess going on, and I need your help.”

The pegasus leant in and shooed the waiter away. “I’m all ears.”

***

Now I know my future. And my future is by Vinyl’s side. It’s a commitment, sure. But I am not afraid of commitment. I am an adult mare now. It’s not about age. It’s about responsibility. Vinyl has taught me this responsibility. She is my mentor in so many ways.

Even though she, indeed, has been dense at times. Like now, when I have explicitly given her enough nudges to start thinking sexy thoughts, and she’s calculating the risks of her project. Maybe if I just push this diary under her nose that’ll-

Oh, this actually works!

A very enthusiastic Octavia, November 11th