First person Anon x Apple Bloom romance / clopfic. Don't like? Don't read. Simple, isn't it?

Basic summary: Anon swears all the time, which leads to Apple Bloom asking him about the birds and the bees, which leads to him being like 'no', which leads to her using her evil filly powers to coerce him into being like 'yes', which ultimately leads to me writing the worst summary ever in the history of fanfiction.

Contains: angst, romance, passionate sex, anal, very soft BDSM and other tame fetishes, stupid shit, randomness, quotes, references, lyrics, zombies, communism, pizzas, Twilight botching spells, Luna having no life, and apples.
And a lot of other useless shit you could skip through just to get to the sex scene, I suppose. Originally written as a request for some dude on FanFiction.net, who requested 'an Apple Bloom version of A Sweet Winter Night'.

Rated Mature for obvious reasons: strong language (lol) and explicit sex.

Warning: this story is... I don't know, but by reading it, you agree not to hold me responsible for the potential loss of brain cells and IQ points.