First Equestrian Problems!

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to shed some light on the issues that erupted at the factory today. It was a pain, a major pain. You don’t know how bad it was to get plowed and sandwiched by a machine. Yes, I mean that sentence in every single possible way. It got me all dirty and I had to take a three hour shower just to get all the grime and unidentified substances off my coat. It was dreadful! I would go to that Twilight Sparkle lady, but she hates my guts for accidentally knocking over her whole bookcase.

All those books…

Eugh.

Anyway, I wanted to say that whoever overloaded the machine with rainbows and manure is a complete horse. I just hate when those two are mixed together. It’s like Satan and Chrysalis were showing their moves while Celestia just watched, sitting on her throne and eating chocolate covered marshmallows.

Just picture that reader.

Marshmallows that are chocolate covered in the mouth of one of our most revered rulers.

Actually, that sounds like a sight to see.

Excuse me, I’m speaking to the letter now and not getting to the bottom line.

I want for whoever reads this to know that I would like to get more regulations added into the factory to prevent these machines from plowing, ramming, sandwiching, bending over, slapping, or bashing any worker ever again. It’s not a good experience to feel some mechanical arm spring into your own hindquarters. You can’t even reach back there with your own hooves, and simply trashing about or kicking them simply does no justice. So you just have to take it, groaning and moaning due to the painful entry.

…

It was an arm, not another pony you…

You know what, this report sounds too raunchy. You fellows at the factory will probably giggle or even laugh so hard that you’ll be using this as a way to get back for me spilling custard inside your lockers.

Eh, it was worth it.

Anyway, thanks for reading you concerned motherfuckers at the factory. I hope you all rot in Chrysalis’ cave, getting fucked until you become vacant.

From,

Noteworthy

**P.S.* My name isn’t actually Noteworthy. I just changed it because Plotter wasn’t a “public friendly” name for a grown stallion. That name used to get mares all riled up.*