First Equestrian Problems!

To Whom It May Concern:

I want to let you know, whoever you are, that I am enraged.

Yes, I’m angry due to my ‘mother’, who has been lollygagging around too much for my liking.

No, Celestia, she is not pulling pranks like you suggested, instead, she’s doing the complete opposite.

She’s being *lazy.***

On some days, she's actively reading, doing nothing else but viewing her favorite pieces of literature. On the other remaining days, she is an absolute sludge ball on the couch, lazily laying there and doing nothing while she watches me clean up all her messes. I mean, I can do all these chores for her, but if shes going to not help and be a big slouch, than I don’t want to do any of her shit.

Not to mention, my ass is itchy, and I can’t reach it.

Even though I have these claws, I can’t even reach my ass to get this unbearable itch to leave my midst.

I feel...uncomfortable.

I’m going to go itch my ass on the ground, because there is no other way to stop this.

I’ll just quickly end this letter with how I want you, Celestia, or whoever grabs this letter in their hot little hooves, to handle this situation. I want you to send a letter to her saying that she got demoted to the Royal dishwasher, and she needs to report to Celestia immediately to receive further instructions.

Please, it would be the greatest thing I’ve ever pranked her with. Twilight needs to get scared out of her wits by her own mentor to fix this mess.

Anyway, thank you to whoever does this. I’ll gladly hang out with you if you stroll on over towards the library.

From the only dragon that pranks,

Spike.