First Equestrian Problems!

To Whom It May Concern:

Books.

They’re all over the place.

Why should I complain? They’re the only thing I think about.

Instead of getting inside Rainbow Dash, I’m sitting here, fawning over the new collectors edition of The Hungered.

…

It’s the collector’s edition! I can’t pass up time to not read it! I read everything!

…

I just wish I got inside her. She’s just, so perfect.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, Celestia has a nice rump, however; Rainbow Dash is just in my reach. She crashes in here every waking moment she can, and I can almost cope a feel of her nice, plump flanks. Not to mention, I always notice how she looks at me. She blushes madly whenever I gaze right into her eyes, and she turns away whenever I say how awesome she is.

…

Especially when she crashes, she’s a damn pro at that. Not only that, but I like the sight of her ass when its pointed up, giving me full view of her entrance. So enticing, the entrance awaiting penetration of my horn. I-

...

Sorry about that, I needed some time to properly mas-, I mean, think about what I'm writing for.

Unfortunately, these books are so enticing, binding me to their textures. The textures, so smooth, so inviting. I can’t choose which to love! I wish I could just go outside and bang my Rainbow Bo-, I mean Novel Das-.

Oh for fuck sakes! I’m going to Sugarcube Corner! I need to take a break from my books!

…

Wait, I’m on the couch, and it’s too comfortable, and the door is miles away…

….

I’ll go tomorrow.

Sorry for talking to myself, or well, writing to myself. Oh Celestia, if this got into your mail, I would be so embarrassed. This would give you so much of a headache, and you’ll probably dismiss me as your student if you saw my book and Rainbow Dash fetishes. Plus, you’d probably be disgusted by my laziness. It’s too much distance for me to travel, and I can’t simply get off my flank to reach it.

I need a TV…

Too lazy to finish this letter, so I’ll just end it here.

From your faithful couch potato,

Twilight Sparkle