Fluttershy vs. the Self-Defense Course

The Final Lesson

The punching machine had been pushed to the corner.  The cardboard and wood targets had been put back in storage, and the cache of dangerous and mystical weapons were sealed back into their accursed wooden crate.  Three mares and three fillies lined up in perfect attention to their sensei in the white gi.  The Cutie Mark Crusaders were calm, and Twilight's muzzle had escaped a powerful tome at least for now.  Fluttershy still had her fearful shakes, but at least she was confident enough for one normal martial arts lesson.

Then there was this pink pony at the end, beaming her almost-infectious high-sugar octane of excitement as she stood smiling in an orange gi.  And for some reason, she had dyed her mane and tail blonde and spiked them straight up with what could be a closet-full of Rarity's super-stiff gel.  She was the driving force that could completely ruin not just the self-defense course, but also the entire day.  Her presence was caught in the radar of Rainbow Dash's peripheral vision, and the blue and rainbow pony backtracked her steps to face the pink peril.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I wanna learn how to take a pony down to town!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"This is a two-pony lesson."

"Not to worry!  I brought this mare who came over from Canterlot."

"I don't even know why I'm here!" cried a distressed North Star, a prim and proper light purple unicorn mare whom Fluttershy remembered from their first Grand Galloping Gala, Twilight's birthday party, and the wedding.  She especially remembered her from the first Gala because North Star barged into Donut Joe's with the Royal Guards threatening to arrest Pinkie Pie for sexual assault, but had stopped upon seeing Princess Celestia in the same donut shop.

"You can't just pull random ponies off the street and make them your sparring partner," said Rainbow Dash.  "Besides, you're still banned from receiving any training."

"Aw, come on," cried Pinkie Pie.  "I promise I won't blow up the rock climbing course like last time."

"That was a whole mountain!  Look, you're special, and I mean that in a good way.  That is why you're going to, um, be part of my newest special training.  In fact, you'll be separated from the group so you can practice your awesome moves without any gratuitous harm and irrecoverable damage."

"Okay!  Where is it?"

"Over there."

"There?"

"No, further.  Just go past the Pinkie-shaped hole."

"Here?"

"No.  Keep going."

"How about now?"

"Perfect!  Just stand by that tree and don't move.  That's part of your, um, super concentration training.  With that technique, you can imagine power beyond the gods!"

"Okie dokie lokie Dashie-sensei."

Dash slammed and boarded the door shut.  She had sent Pinkie so far out from the community center gym that past the Pinkie-shaped hole she appeared nothing larger than a gnat next to a tree.

The training was almost underway, but then Dash whistled for Twilight and Rarity for a quick and private conference.  Fluttershy knew not what they discussed based on their confirmed nods and suggestive winks and blinks, but hopefully that had something to do with Pinkie Pie standing so far out in the grassy fields of Ponyville.

"All right!" said Rainbow Dash.  "Since we're practicing takedowns, I'm going to assign mares to fillies so that the young ones would be able to escape any creepy adult stalkers that will attempt to kidnap them with 'free candy' written on suspicious wagons.  So the pairings are as follows…"

She assigned Rarity to Apple Bloom, Twilight to Scootaloo, and Fluttershy to Sweetie Belle; basically the strongest mare to the strongest filly, second strongest mare to second strongest filly, etc.  The timid yellow pegasus didn't think much of the arrangement, but she was worried that her own adult strength might overpower the unicorn filly.  Then again, pegasus bones are a bit lighter and hollower than unicorns and especially that of earth ponies.

The initial demonstration started off innocently enough with Rainbow Dash selecting Rarity as a sparring partner to show how to defend against surprise mounting (usually against stallions), collar grabs (happens a lot), and side tackling.  There were no explosions, no chi blasts, and scary weapons.  Just pure skill and little roughhousing on the padded mats which Rainbow and Rarity demonstrated expertly.

Then the class paired off.  Rainbow Dash began her supervision of the takedowns with Rarity and Apple Bloom and Twilight and Scootaloo.  Once satisfied that they would be fine on their own, she finally stopped before the Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle pair, the latter who waited patiently for the former who was too timid to start without the teacher's watchful guidance.

"I'll be gentle," said Fluttershy. "I hope."

"That sounded… anyway, you don't have to be too gentle," said Sweetie Belle.  "You need to apply enough weight to stimulate an attacking stallion."

"Well, okay. Turn around, I guess. I'll mount you. As pretend. Not for real. But almost like a stallion. Here goes."

With the trembling body, Fluttershy carefully trotted over the young pony's white body, and just as carefully she lowered herself in an attempt to pretend-mount Sweetie Belle.  Fur brushed with fur, but no skin came into pressed contact.  The timid yellow pegasus's body trembled into earthquake levels, as she tried her best to make any lewd contact, implied or otherwise, especially in front of Rarity.  Else, she would have to sit down with known Canterlot newscaster, Chris Hoofson, who often hosts Dayline's "To Catch a Carnivore".

"You can relax, Fluttershy," said Sweetie Belle.

"I just don't want to crush you," strained Fluttershy.

"Well, okay.  I'll do my thing.  One, two…"

Fluttershy flew off the ground, and without wings or magic.  Her body hurtled high over the barrier separating the volleyball practice session and the self-defense course, and then she crashed into the volleyball net.  She felt like a seapony trapped in a fishing net.

"I'm so sorry!" Sweetie Belle cried.  "Are you okay?"

"Just fine," winced Fluttershy.

Switching roles was just as embarrassing, if not more so.  Sweetie Belle "mounting" Fluttershy didn't seem that obscene.  It looked more like the times Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom rode on their respective older sisters' backs.  Yet to top it off, all the stretches and the heart palpitations of seeing her friends' amazing abilities rendered the yellow pegasus tired as a wasted Rainbow Dash on a late Tuesday, and she could barely carry a filly on her back.  Twice she plopped on her stomach, and all Fluttershy could manage was having Sweetie Belle sliding off her rump with minimal effort.

The next part of the lesson was worse.  First Fluttershy tried to play the role of the perpetrator but clasping Sweetie Belle's folds of skin in her hooves by the collar.  Yet at every instance, Sweetie Belle slammed, tackled, and tossed the whimpering pegasus.  Half the time she threw her back into the volleyball net.  Switching places proved no better, for Fluttershy ended up throwing herself down into the tough mats, narrowly missing the piles of pillows meant to cushion Sweetie Belle's fall.

"I'm sorry!" Sweetie Belle apologized again.

"No, it's not your fault," said Fluttershy.  "I'm a laughing stock of ponykind.  I can't even beat up a filly, let alone a foal if I wanted to.  I should go back and whimper in the locker."

"Don't give up Fluttershy!  Remember the time you wrestled that bear?"

"I didn't wrestle him!  I was giving him a chiropractic massage."

"But that's what Scootaloo told me."

Something out of Fluttershy's view distracted Sweetie Belle.

"Wait, what?" asked the filly.  "Uh-huh.  Yeah, I can do it."

"Who were you talking to?" asked Fluttershy.

"Uh, nopony!  Fluttershy, at least complete the final part of the lesson with me.  Otherwise, I won't be able to evade side tackles."

"Maybe Rainbow Dash or that mare from Canterlot can help you."

"That blue pegasus boarded the exits!" cried a frantic North Star.  "I can't get out!"

"Please?" pled Sweetie Belle.  "I don't want to trouble Dash-sensei.  She's already busy as it is."

"Well, you do have a point," said Fluttershy, "and Twilight is having trouble holding onto Scootaloo.  Okay, I'll do it!  Just for you."

Now, the point of the side-tackle self-defense was to prevent attacking ponies or other creatures from biting onto your neck and ears, or to prevent tripping in general.  Sweetie Belle stood off to the side, raring for the assault by scratching her hooves on the mat in play.  Even though she was young, her underdeveloped horn could still gore Fluttershy.  For this particular exercise, it had to be surrounded with bubble wrap.

As for Fluttershy, she still trembled as usual, but with another dose of invigorated excitement that maybe, at least maybe she could able do one martial arts task correctly.  Sweetie Belle was at her peripheral vision, and half the time Fluttershy couldn't see her.  The yellow pegasus remembered Rainbow Dash bragging about having a sixth sense in battle and in sports competitions.  She believed Fluttershy could master it.

So she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  Feeling the natural calmness calmed her body down, and she lowered her head like a snake poised for the strike.  She felt the gentle breeze of Sweetie Belle's incoming presence softly brush her yellow fur.  And then…

SLAM!  The yellow pegasus grit her teeth and threw the unicorn filly far off to the corner of safety pillows before she could make her tackle.  Fluttershy spun in place making sure that she had smote her young and adorable pretend-enemy.  Seeing and sensing a lack of presence of Sweetie Belle, a wide smile of success stretched across her face.

"I did it!  I did it!" danced Fluttershy.  "In your face Sweetie Belle!  Oh, I hope that wasn't too vulgar.  I mean, I'm happy that I'm able to defend myself and that you helped me, but oh my gosh, I finally learned how to defend myself without getting angry or by accident.  I can't believe I did it.  With a filly!  I did it!"

"What are you doing sis? Drop me before she finds out!"

"I didn't know I was supposed to be levitating you.  Twilight, I thought you got this all planned!"

"Sorry!  This passage about the 'Spirit Bomb' technique was too good to put down."

She didn't want to believe she overheard her friends' conversation.  She didn't want to believe that Sweetie Belle's fall was a lie and that the sounds she heard weren't breaking bones.  Fluttershy turned around and saw the unicorn filly trapped between two pulls of bluish and magenta magic in the air above the safety pillows.  Sweetie Belle plopped down to the ground once Fluttershy caught Rarity and Twilight in the act.

"Um, we were just lifting her up for the next exercise," winced Rarity.

"I don't think she's going to buy it," said Twilight.

It was one thing to be scared and weak.  For Fluttershy, as timid she was, definitely did not want their charitable pity.  Whether it was a holdover of the ancient pegasii warrior blood coursing through her being, she never felt so ashamed.  With neck and ears drooped, she turned her body towards her safety sanctuary.

"I'll hide in my locker again…" she muttered.

"Wait Fluttershy!" cried Scootaloo.  "You can't go back to the locker!  You're not gay!"

"That's closet you dodo!" Sweetie Belle corrected.

"That doesn't look like a closet."

The pleas from the fillies fell on Fluttershy's deaf ears, and nopony dared to stop her from retreating into the sweet sanctuary of the smelly, bubblegum-riddled locker.  She could not see much from the narrow air slits, but she knew her concerned friends had already gathered around her.

"Wait Fluttershy," said Rainbow Dash.  "I'm sorry, but it was my idea.  I just wanted to make you feel better."

"You made me feel worse," Fluttershy replied.

"Look, I'm willing to give it my all to help you defend yourself against all sorts of baddies, but you know what--even being a coward is a strength in of itself."

"How so?"

"I don't want you to be like me and risk your life facing all sorts of dangers.  That's not the Fluttershy I know and love.  I'd be deathly worried if somepony's hunting you down and you tried to take her on."

"There's no shame in running away to save your life," said Rarity.  "I can't risk my life unnecessarily because I have a sister to love and protect."

"Plus, there are other degrees of strength.  You're good with animals, and you're not afraid of the big and scary ones--excepting dragons."

"You're also great at knitting--possibly greater than I am."

"You also have 'The Stare'!" added Scootaloo.  "Say, is that a martial arts ability that can be taught?"

"Fluttershy, you may be the weakest pony in the group," said Twilight, "but that weakness is a strength to remind us that while we are strong, our strength comes at a responsibility for the loved ones who can't defend themselves.  Everypony is weak at one point, but it is through love and friendship that we become stronger."

"You're one of the key pillars of the group, Flutters," said Rainbow Dash.  "After all, you were chosen to be the bearer of the Element of Kindness."

In that period of self-reflection, calmness, and the caring words of her friends, Fluttershy finally had the clarity to realize that her actions might have been a bit selfish.  In truth, she did complain about her apparent weakness to almost everypony and even to herself.  She remembered the times Rainbow Dash cheered her on to pass to excruciatingly difficult flight tests at flight camp.  Somehow, her blue friend's undying loyalty pushed her past the limit finally graduate from flight camp.  Maybe not with flying colors, but at least she finished.   Still, Fluttershy still felt shameful, but not because weakness or charity.  It was because she was almost close to letting her friends down.  That was something she simply could not do, strength or no strength.

She did, however, find the strength to come out of the locker to the find the smiles of relief of all her friends.

"I'm sorry I made everypony worry," she said.

"It's all right," said Twilight.  "Worrying about your friends is just natural."

"I'll admit that I have started this self-defense course off tangent," said Rainbow Dash, "but I think you still have the strength to defend yourself.  We'll just have to take baby steps until you're ready to take on a horde of dragons with your bare hooves.  So why not a private lesson at your house?  Are Saturdays good?"

Suddenly, the nearest wall exploded.  Stepping through the crumbled hole, while unintentionally looking awesomely cool, was a huffed-out Applejack who appeared as if the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres came alive and started revolting against their equine masters.

"Applejack, what are you doing here?" asked Rainbow Dash.  "And why did you go through the wall?"

"Never mind that!" replied the farm pony who was unfazed by the dust and rubble on her body.  "RD, what the hay did you tell Pinkie to do?"

"I told her to just go outside and stand--oh no.  She's doing it again, isn't she?"

Applejack deathly nodded.  Fluttershy could see the horror casting over Twilight and Rarity's faces, whereas the Cutie Mark Crusaders jumped for joy and ran out of the crumbled hole.  The thing about being the Bearer of the Element of Kindness was that one pony could sense the feelings of others.  Excepting the girls, Fluttershy knew that something terrible was about to happen.

Instead of going through the hole Applejack made, Fluttershy and her friends decided to cut off the Cutie Mark Crusaders by ramming out another hole next to the Pinkie-shaped hole in the gymnasium.  Applejack and Rarity lassoed and magical grabbed their little sisters respectively, whereas Rainbow Dash dive-tackled Scootaloo before they could get a hoof closer to the greatest threat to Equestria that had happened within the past few days.

Then there was Pinkie standing with her front hooves in the air with love and cautious care.  She showed no signs of wavering just yet, but everypony knew that whatever she was doing, Ponyville, and hopefully Ponyfield (Ponyville's no-good rival township a stone-throw's away), would end up a giant crater on the ground.  That was because Pinkie Pie held a massive ball of chi energy whose size rivaled that of the Luna's moon and maybe Celestia's sun.  The sheer heat of the chi energy had melted the yellow hair dye and gel to give way to the pink one's trademark puffiness, but even that showed signs of flattening at her realization that she might accidentally destroy Ponyville for real this time.

"Pinkie Pie!" yelled Rainbow Dash.  "I thought I told you to just stand there!"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie cried back.  "I tried and I failed!  I started to stand on my hind legs with my other two in the air, and this cute ball of energy started forming on top of it.  Before I knew it, it grew this large!"

"And you didn't decide to release it?"

"But it was so cute, and I didn't want to let it go!"

"It's going to destroy Ponyville, that's what!  Pinkie Pie you doomed us all!"

"Is there any way we can stop it?" asked Rarity.

"No we can't!  Even if we had time, not even the Princesses would be able to stop the Spirit Bomb!"

"Wait you guys!" Twilight exclaimed.  "Something's coming out of the Pinkie-hole!"

What Twilight meant was that something was coming out of the Pinkie-shaped hole from the gym, not from Pinkie's… Anyway, the purple-one's expositional exclamation diverted their attention to something gingerly fluttering out of the Pinkie-hole.  Even Fluttershy had forgotten it amidst this madness, but her heart-shaped chi blast slowly advanced towards the ever-growing energy ball of destruction that Pinkie Pie had, unsurprisingly, gathered above her hooves.

"It's so tiny and adorable!" spoke the Sweetie Belle.

"There's no way that's gonna stop the Spirit Bomb," said Rainbow Dash.

"It might," said Twilight.  "If my head-calculations are correct, Fluttershy's chi blast might be able to punch a hole through Pinkie's Spirit Bomb and dissipate all the energy into space.  It's almost as if Fluttershy possesses some kind of negative-strength that negates any strength thrown towards her, kind of like an inverse black hole."

"That doesn't make any sense!" cried Applejack.

"Even so, Fluttershy is the only pony able to counter Pinkie's absurd energy powers with her negative-strength.  Fluttershy is going to save Ponyville!"

A few agonizing minutes later, the cute, heart-shaped chi energy finally made contact with the Spirit Bomb, which then glowed brighter, bigger, and deadlier.

"Or maybe we'll die in a storm of raging hellfire," Twilight said in one gulp.

"Hit the deck!" Applejack cried.

Boom.