(Note: Sung to the tune of Davy Crocket's "The Ballad of Davy Crocket")

Sung by Princess Celestia

The Grand Galloping Gala is one of the most important social events in all of Canterlot. But to be quite honest, a formal dance is rather dull for a pony who enjoys a spot of fun like Princess Celestia.

And so, she sought to invite the six most important ponies that everypony should know along, hoping that in light of their recent exploits, they could inject some spark into the otherwise boring occasion.

Or they could just turn the entire thing into such a fiasco that it would be abandoned. Princess Celestia wasn't particularly fussy.

It all started right here in Canterlot,
The Grand Galloping Gala was the lot
But the G.G.G’s boring, just not hot
But as Princess, I had to be at the spot
Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G!

So I sent out invites to Twilight, see
One for herself and a V.I.P
But she sent them back saying “Not just me,
I’d like ALL my friends to be at the party”
And I, and I knew then, this might work out for me!

So of course I said it was fine for them,
For seven guests to turn up by ten
(Yes, I included Spike), but when
The night drew up, it was time again
Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G!

The girls wanted to make this their night,
Pinkie Pie wanted to party right
Rarity sought a prince dressed in white,
Fluttershy to see the animal sights
At the, at the Gala, this was their only chance!

Applejack, sell pies for her family,
Rainbow Dash with Wonderbolt V.I.Ps
And Twilight just wanted to talk with me,
So they all had dreams for the big party
At the, at the Gala, among the talk and dance!

The night starts well for all those involved,
Then a mystery that will go unsolved:
How did all order just de-evolve?
A noisy outcome goes unresolved
Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G!

I’m much too busy for a friendly chat,
Fluttershy can’t be friends with even a cat
And Rarity meets with a stuck-up brat,
Pinkie’s rowdy self, the guests don’t like that
Badly, badly going wrong for the six best friends!

Applejack made two sales in an hour,
Rainbow Dash is also feeling sour
The Wonderbolts know her, but fame towers,
Alone with Rainbow, they can’t spare an hour
Badly, badly going, is this how it all ends?

But the six have been waiting all their life,
an' they don’t want to let this chance slip by
If it’s the last thing they do, they will try
To make this the best night ever. Why?
Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G!

Despite it all, it only gets worse,
A stroke of bad luck descends like a curse
Pinkie thinks her disapproval’s to soon reverse,
And so she sings to another rowdy verse
Pinkie, Pinkamena, the mare who don't know tact!

And Fluttershy is slowly going insane,
Creases in her brow, a disheveled mane;
She’s rigging a trap in the garden again,
But even when crazy, they’re still too tame
Flutter, Fluttershy is starting to lose her mind!

Still nopony cuts Applejack some slack,
The stuff she made are still on the racks
So she aims to please, so to spurn the flack,
Dress ‘em up a bit and then come back
Fancy, fancy foodstuff, outclassing her entrees!

And as AJ wheeled in the cart with wares,
Intent that everypony should share
Pinkie dived into the cart without a care,
Sending a cake flying through the air
Apple, Apple Flake cake, ace of the farmpony!

And Blueblood, lest his appearance break,
The very last straw Rarity could take
He threw the poor mare, thinking of his own sake,
Into the path of the speeding cake
Apple, Apple Flake cake, received straight to the knee!

And as Rarity chewed out Blueblood fierce
Her death glare surely could solid rock pierce
His eyes weren’t peeled and nor were his ears,
He topples a statue of aging years
Blueblood, Blueblood Princy, keeping the chain at three!

Rainbow Dash saw this as a favour call,
She could save the statue and stop its fall
And despite the efforts of ponies all,
The statue and columns smashed to pieces small
Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, said “It can’t get worse to me!”

Then right on cue, Fluttershy’s own wreck,
She looked just ‘bout ready to wring some necks
And so, with everypony’s due respect,
I advised Twilight to run like heck
Running, running away, Twilight running the race!

They got the message and made to flee,
A slipper was dropped by Rarity
Her prince would find her, exclaims Pinkie,
So she stomps the slipper. Good move to me…
Slipper, Glass-hoof slipper, crushed into smithereens!

So there was Spike drowning sorrows grim,
They were all alone, Pony Joe and him
Twilight’s friends escaped by their teeth’s skin,
To the donut shop at Canterlot’s rim
Pony, Pony Joe’s shop, your donut one-stop place!

I joined them later, they thought it blew,
But they all just did what I hoped they’d do;
Go to the Gala and turn the screw,
Liven it up, or wreck it true
Canter, Canterlot Castle, host of the G.G.G!

Author's Note

As requested by Sparkfire.