(Note: Sung to the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas's "This Is Halloween")

Sung by Spike

Spike, as number one assistant to Twilight Sparkle, does absolutely everything Twilight Sparkle asks of him. Of course that includes cleaning the Golden Oaks library and recently, Twilight's newest castle.

No dust or grime ever escapes the watch of Spike.

Fillies and colts of every age
The stuff I am trying to rearrange

Come with us and you will see
Watch the method how I clean

This is how I clean, this is how I clean
Mopping floors until late at night

This is how I clean, with soap suds I can't be mean
Scrub and brush Twilight's bedroom soon as it gets light
It's our home, everypony scream
Look at Spike, look how I clean

This castle is fifteen hundred square feet
Thankfully I'm happy doing her sheets

Twilight insists on cleaning up the rest
Just one more reason that my job's the best

This is how I clean, this is how I clean

How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean!
In this castle we call home
I polish floors all morning long!

By today, it should sparkle now
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

Found my bucket and my mop in the trash can
Rainbow Dash's newest prank...yeah, it's a scream...

Scream! This is how I clean
Detergent, shiny green

Aren't you bored?
Well, that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice
I also keep out the mice
Get the washing up done by tonight

Everypony scream, everypony scream

Watch me, pal, it's how I clean

I am the dragon that's armed with the brush
Scrubbing the walls taking care not to rush

I am the assistant sorting the books
So that Twilight Sparkle knows where to look

I am the guy scraping gum off the chair
Pinkie just leaves litter everywhere!

This is how I clean, this is how I clean
How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean!
How I clean! How I clean!

Muddy hoofprints everywhere
Left by a certain farmer mare

Scrub that mud, with vigor keen
In my task it's how I clean

In this place
Clean the room post-haste!

Everypony's waiting for the sparkling room
Applejack wiping her hooves out back
And use a new wipe rag
Use a new soap bar again
This is how I clean, everypony leave
Wont' ya please make way til I've finished cleaning, guys?

Spike's your dude for scrubbing and mopping food
Everyone hail to the Cleaning Aide, now!

This is how I clean, this is how I clean
How I clean! How I clean! How I clean! How I clean!

In this castle we call home
I polish floors all morning long!

La la-la la, How I clean! How I clean!
La la-la la, How I clean! How I clean!

Author's Note

As requested by Ugly-Duckling123.