(Note: Sung to the tune of The Emperor's New Groove's "My Funny Friend And Me")

Sung by Twilight Sparkle

Applejack grumbled. Making their way through life in the alternate Equestria was already hard enough. And then THIS happened; the seven of them were thrown in a dungeon.

"Ya just had to make fun of their helmets, didn't ya? They were probably gonna just give us a slap on the hoof until ya mentioned the helmets."

"What?" protested Twilight. "I was making an observation! It is a funny hat!"

In the darkest hour of reckoning
When the guards assume positions
And this world's Sombra gives orders
To the Royal Inquisition
To the guards who wear the strangest things there
Helmets that look like Sombra King
Though they were kind to me, yet they reminded me

That they looked absurdly comic
And in hindsight it was stupid
And when a new world needs protecting
Though its residents are putrid
I insulted a guard there
And the whole world I know was upside down
And now the guards are hacked
Right off, they're coming back

You see the helmets on their big heads
If looks could kill then I would be quite dead
Observe the helmets on their big heads
I was just being honest with what I said
There's less tacky things to wear instead
What a predicament in which to be!
But that unusual thing called your funny hat and me!

I'm not as civil as I thought I was
And I think I regret what I said because
We wound up in a dungeon
We wound up in the clink
And it is all because I told a guard exactly what I think
And Applejack's not pleased with me
We could have all been let go with just slaps to the knee
And we could've made it through
Curse your funny hat and me!

You see the helmets on their big heads, yeah, yeah, yeah
If looks could kill then I would be quite dead
That stupid helmet as a stallion's cap
I don't know whether if it's all a trap

Just like the helmets on their big heads, I look quite foolish
We're all imprisoned 'till the end this time, (don't know, you don't know)
I wish I had just stayed at home in bed, (we'll stick together)
We're all imprisoned 'till the day we die

If I had to do this all a second time
I won't complain or make a fuss
'Bout what? You know that!
I won't mention in chat
'Bout those strange funny hats
Not us!

Author's Note

Based on the comics