(Note: Sung to the tune of The Aristocats's "Everybody Wants To Be A Cat")

Sung by Spike and Sweetie Belle

Spike's secret that pretty much isn't a secret at all is that he's madly in love with Rarity. As he makes a lot of effort to try and hang around her, on occasion he'll bump into Sweetie Belle, but she's usually off doing her thing with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders, so they don't talk much.

At least there is one common point of interest. They don't see a lot of point in a pet that makes no effort to try and love you back. Like Rarity's cat, Opalescence.

Well, everypony, let me elucidate here
Everypony hates that evil cat
Because that cat's the only cat
Who don't care where you're at
Tell me!
Everypony's knowing that she ain't that sweet
To her, you're pretty obsolete
She's such a grumpy pet!

There are plenty dresses torn
Rarity wishes she weren't born
That feline don't care!
She'll bring a dead bird or mouse
Right there into our house
She's like this all day
Cha cha ba dum bo day

She won't let you stroke her
Or just play nice
You know that cat's the only cat
You'd consider a vice
Who would hope
For that misanthrope
Or stuff like that...
...When everypony hates that evil cat?

She claws well hard enough
To leaves scratches and tufts
She does not like you
Boy, she's cranky, cranky, cranky
Does she remind you of
Angel Bunny enough?
She will hate you too
Boy, she's cranky, cranky, cranky

Everypony hates that evil cat
Because that cat's the only cat
Who don't care where you're at

To be honest, keeping her, where's Rarity at?
'Cause everypony wants rid of that grumpy cat

If you want to avoid her
Save the cuts and loss of fur
And not sprayed in kitty litter too

Make sure that you're well outside
Try to stay out late at night
And make excuses not to go home, do...

You're around to fill her bowl
Not a "thank you", she's so cold
The heartless feline's just a pest
She deprives you of your rest

Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat!
Hallejuah!
Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat!
I'm telling you!
Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat!
Yeah!
Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat!
Mmmm!
Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat!
Hallejuah!
Everypony, everypony, everypony hates that evil cat!

Author's Note

As requested by remnants