(Note: Sung to the tune of The Brave Little Toaster's "City Of Light")

Sung by you, um...if that's alright with you...

You know, if the ponies ever found out about this world and our interpretations of them, they'd lose quite a lot of sleep over it, I'm guessing. At least we can reassure them that the names we give them are somewhat affectionate.

Right?

Are you Twilightlicious
Do you have your own cane?
Someone's saying AJ's
A silly pony again.
Rarity's
A marshmallow? Please...

And Fluttershy would make
A perfect little tree?
But how she'd do it
Just makes no sense to me
Rainbow Dash
Must have a cider stash

Princess Celestia's a merciless troll
And everyone's changelings too
Soarin' would swap out pie for his soul
So I hear people say
Sweetie Belle's a bot
Dictionary, or not?
Who derelles on the spot
Is it true?
Is it witty,
So witty
Or trite?

Pinkie's a psycho-in-hiding
Scootaloo's chicken too
Crackle is best dragon
Not that she would care, mind you
Sombra King
Likes stairs, it's his thing

Trixie loves her pinecones
Sunset Shimmer's Gary Oak?
Cadence is a missile;
Spikezilla? Holy smokes!
Is it witty, or trite?

Chrysalis has got Swiss Cheese Legs as I understand
Who gets all the stallions? It's Braeburn!
Smoothie Lyra just don't care, Derpy Hooves is everywhere
Big Macintosh's love for a doll is learned...

But the one with the most names by far
Is Princess Luna, no contest
A gamer, useless, or a good Freddy Kreuger
As we double the fun
She missed anything?
She don't even get to sing
To Abacus, she clings
Is it true?
Is it witty,
So witty
Or trite?

Author's Note

As requested by Dirty Bit