(Note: Sung to the tune of Beauty And The Beast's "Gaston")

Sung by Diamond Tiara

Diamond Tiara is the ultimate Daddy's Little Princess mixed with sadist bully. She's known for bullying the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but to be quite honest she'll pick on anypony who doesn't have a cutie mark, like Button Mash.

She's called Button names in the past, deriding his past failures, his relationship with Sweetie Belle, and just basically making fun of his inability to do a lot right apart from gaming.

It would sting a lot less if it wasn't for the fact that she was actually technically right.

Gosh it amuses me to see you, Button
Crashing through life as it comes
It really must stink to be you, Button
Especially when taking your lumps
There's nopony in town who fails like you do
Except on a gaming screen
Everyone else is just glad they ain't you
Just where has your competence been?

No one pains like Button
No one faints like Button
No one sets fire to their toy train like Button
You're accident prone, no denying that!
You're clumsiness incarnate!
And fighting the last boss totally fell flat
I'd wager on outcomes and win all the bets!

No one flees like Button
Trips with ease like Button
No one else gets bad milkshake brain-freeze like Button
As far as colts go, that guy's not got a hope at all!
My what a dolt, that Button!
Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"
Button stands out even among the drips!

No one sleep-ers like Button
Cries weepers like Button
On Minecraft, no-one dies to Creepers like Button!
For there's no one as clumsy and nerdy
That colt's great but only in games
He'd get his mane pecked by the birdies.
That's right!
His clumsiness could make him famous in name!

No one cracks like Button
Takes the whacks like Button
Loses contests on apple juice packs like Button
He's not even that hot at Pong either! Ptoooie!
No points for Button!

One morning he got up all ready for school
At this point you'll laugh til you cough
His mother yelled back that the kid was a fool
It's Sunday, he got the day off!

No one's done like Button
Lost to Stun like Button
Then gets grounded in Humgonian like Button!

And somehow he has a thing for mustaches!
Say it again!
Who's a loser? And then
You just say it once more
Who's that lame-o next door?
Lost in video games
A different kind of lame!
Ask anypony who knows what's on
There's just one colt in town
Who's got all of it down...
And his name's B-U-T... U...
B-U-T-T-E...
B-U-T-T-O... ohh, ow...
BUTTON!!!

My what a guy!
BUTTON!

Author's Note

As requested by Seanchow806Napoleonic