(Note: Sung to the tune of Pocahontas's "Savages")

Sung by Braeburn, Applejack, members of the apple family Chief Thunderhooves and the buffalo tribe

Appleoosa is a small town far to the west of Equestria. Probably one of its most famous incidents was when the Six Bearers of Harmony was able to avert a political disaster between the local ponies and buffaloes, which involved an apple plantation encroaching on the buffaloes' territory.

Now, some time later, the buffaloes want to start their own cabbage plantation right next to the apple plantation, which doesn't go down with Applejack's cousin Braeburn. After all, apples is srs bizness, u guys. And Braeburn honestly thought he was doing them a favour to try and convince them not to compete with the soil for the apple plantation growing anything as awful as cabbages.

Somehow this ended in threats to boil over to a massive dispute over land...again. And Applejack had to play the peacekeeper.

What can you expect
From dinky little veggies?
Their chewy rubbery leaves is like a curse
They're boring and they're cheap
Good for just the compost heap
You'll get in trouble deep
And worse

They're cabbages! Cabbages!
Barely even foodstuff
Savages! Savages!
Drive them from our shore!
Nopony like those things
Which means that there's no profit
You realize that this means war!

They're cabbages! Cabbages!
Encroaching on our soil!
Now we sound the drums of war!

This is what we feared
This pony does not see it
How we only need a bit of land
An acre, maybe two
Is all we ask of you
Please don't make us force our hand...hoof?

They're cabbages! Cabbages!
Not as bad as you think
Cabbages! Cabbages!
What you waiting for?
If you will not give us
The soil that we all seek
We must sound the drums of war

They're savages! Savages!
First we deal with this one
Then we sound the drums of war

Cabbages! Cabbages!
For the pride of Appleoosa!
Savages! Savages!
There's too much to lose-a!
Cabbages! Cabbages!
Why will you not get this?
Now we sound the drums of war!

-Part 2-
Is there nothing ah can do?
Will this really be the end?
It's barely last week since the last
It's driving me around the bend!

This will be the day ...
(Aaaaaaaaploooosa *whinney*!)

This will be the morning ...
(Ready the stampede)
There's only room for us or them

(Ah don't know what I should do
Gotta help 'em compromise)
Now we make 'em pay
This don't make sense in mah eyes
Now without a warning ...
(Mountain out of a molehill)
We drive 'em out of town for who knows when

(This happens almost every week...)
It's them or us
(At this rate ah'll lose the will...)

They're just a bunch of
what you say 'bout

Cabbages! Cabbages!
Jerks!
Heathens!
Get them!
Cabbages! Cabbages!
What are we waiting for?

Evict them from the town
Until there's not a trace left

(How can I just have the floor?)
We will sound the drums of war
(Cabbages! Cabbages!)
Now, we sound the drums of war
(Cabbages! Cabbages!)

Now we see what comes
Of trying to be chums

Now we sound the drums ... of ... war!
Of course it means the drums ... of ... war!

They really need to cut it out
End this feud and settle the score!

Author's Note

As requested by Awesomo3000