MLP: Ponies taste like magic

I sigh as I stand still on top of this pillar. I'm not here because I want to be, no. I'm here because I was hit by those 'Elements of Harmony'. Now I'm a statue, a statue that all the 'ponies' like to ask questions about. Ha! If Celestia actually had the balls to tell them what I can do......well, they would have nightmares about Xenomorphes for generations.

I look around, yes I can look around even though I'm in stone, and spot a group of 'ponies' coming my way. I say 'ponies' because they look nothing like ponies. They stand up, meaning they're bipedal, they have hands, hell, the only place they have hooves are their 'feet', they-you know what, I can go on and on about how their not ponies.....but I'm not going to waste that much time. Basically they stand up and some of them have dildos sticking out of their heads or/and wings. Although, some don't have them.

The group comes to a stop in front of me. The group is nothing special, there's smug bitch one and two, nerdy boy at the front, nerdy girl at the front with her two stupid friends who will end up on the low of economic scale and finally Miss 'I only see what you and your friends do but not the other 20 kids shouting and messing about.'...Before you ask, school wasn't exactly a highlight for me. Being bored, again, I decide to listen to what they're saying. I might not be able to talk now, but I can still understand my, or their, language.

"Miss Cheerilee, what's that?" A female pony said. Hey, I turned into a female once I'm pretty sure I can tell a boy from a girl. The teacher, or Miss Cheerily, turns her delicious head around and-she turns around and looks at me. 'Miss Cheerily' is a 'normal pony' with a dark pink coat and light white/pink mane. She's wearing a pink dress with dark pink boots. The dress has small white stripes in it, almost like a candy cane. She looks like a fucking whore.

"Ah...I don't actually know a lot about this one...let's see what it says about him." The whore suggests. "It says...this represents extinction. It represents a race that nearly wiped out ponies all together and is a sign that we should be carful how we treat other animals or they may get wiped out for good." She says. Ha! Yeah, right. I really represent why you ponies are weak and pathetic prey. The only reason you're still alive is because that bitch Celestia and whore Luna had to use the Elements of hax on me and my babies.... don't look at me like that, I evolved into a Queen and loved my little drones and warriors. They're fucking awesome....or were.

"Ha! It looks like some weird, ugly pony thing. How could something THAT ugly even come close to wiping us out." Smug bitch one says.

'Bitch! I will pour acid down your fucking neck and chop you into tiny pieces. So tiny you'll make ants seem like giants.' I mentally say.

'Hmm, a bit chaotic...don't you think.' I hear. It sounded like someone is using magic to read my mind. I would know, considering that's how Celestia and Luna talked with me in the final battle. Grr, if I hadn't taken my time to rip that pathetic Starswirl the Bearded apart I might of been able to beat them.

'The fuck you want?' I think. I hear chuckling from that male voice.

'You certainly are a bad girl, aren't you.' The voice says.

'Bitch! I'm not even a girl! I use to be a twenty foot tall Queen, but after those whores hit me with the Elements of Rape, I turned back into a simple, genderless drone.' I say back to the voice. The voice chuckles.

'Yes, I saw that battle with Celestia and Luna. Heck, your the one who inspired me to cause chaos.' The voice, or should I say Discord, says.

'Yeah. Well, unlike you Discord, I'm actually evil...seriously, the only evil you did was eating Celestia's cake.'

'What about my chocolate rain clouds?' Discord asks. I laugh at him.

'Yeah, because ending world hunger is evil.' I say rolling my eyes (mentally). I can fell Discord frown at that. Don't ask me how I just can.

'Hmph. I was going to release you, but sin-'

'You better not be shitting me.' I say, cutting him of. I can feel Discord smirk, as he starts to speak again. This time with a smug voice.

'Heavens no, couldn't take a dump even if I wanted to-'

'Dipshit. Either release me or fuck off. '

'-I will cast a spell that will free you at midnight.' Discord says. I frown mentally at that.

'What, so you can go door to door trying to find 'the love of your life'. Despite the fact you can't remember what she fucking looks like. Seriously, Discord, your a moron. You probably can't even remember the face of the one you love after ten hours.' I rant. 'Besides, I'm not sure what crack your on, but how are you going to free me if your in stone yourself?' Discord laughs out loud.

"Oh, man or girl. You're fun to listen to...as for freeing you. I'm not sure if you noticed, but that group caused enough chaos to free me while we had that LOVELY conversation." Discord says, as in talking with his mouth. I look forward and see what appears to be a normal man, not pony, he actually looks human, wearing a brown coat with gray fedora on his head and a red bowtie...he's not wearing any bottoms for some weird reason. Also his eyes look like he just took drugs and put red contact lenses in. I decide not to think to hard on it and focus about what he said about freeing me.

'Yes, free me. Also, get some fucking trousers on or some shit. I don't need to see your fucking pink boxers...well, put some pants on after screwing with Celestia, is what I meant to say.' I say Discord smirks at me.

"Haha. I like the way you think. Very well, at midnight the spell that keeps you in stone will break......love of my life." Discord says whith a bow.

'Fuck. You.' This is why I hate not having a gender and having to  evolve into a Queen.

Discord clicks his fingers together and floats off to screw Celestia...wait.

'Fuck he's not going to literally screw Celestia, is he?...Bitch deserves it anyway.' I think while looking about. I can already see the pink clouds fly all over the place, pouring their load on the nobles. If it were me...the clouds would have acid in them. I chuckle lightly and start to think to myself about what's going on.

'So, this is actually happening....after one thousand and something years...I'll finally be free.' I think to myself. It brings a smile to my face mentally to know I'll be free again...and ripping ponies limb from limb. I remember I wasn't always like that. I had actual feelings, emotions and would probably feel bad about killing these ponies...but after arriving here in my genderless Xenomorph body the feelings I had quickly left. I think it's when I ate that guards head, that I just stopped caring about the fact I need to eat 'smart' animals to live. Or maybe it was when I stabbed my tail through that guard's ass and made it come out his mouth...Not my fault it's so fun to watch your prey squirm and struggle. It's not my fault they taste like magic. And it definitely isn't my fault that my instincts scream at me to just...END them...it's just how it is.

I smirk mentally to myself.

'I can promise you, Celestia, Luna...I will hunt your ponies down, I will find them....and I will make them suffer... like you did to my race...'