Chapters Pegasi fly overhead from places unknown and villages that may not exist, Welcome to Pony Vale.
Hello readers it’s Sea Salt here, unfortunately the Pony Vale Community Radio Station has heard about the council’s fear that electronic devices will take over again but I as your loyal reporter will perservere and still be bringing you the latest news every day via these mysterious documents that appear from nowhere, dictating it to my scribe.
The council would like me to read this notice. They will now be opening the library for everypony to use however the previous ban book laws still apply. Do not read, write, talk about or smell books.
Our top story, preparations in Pony Vale for the Summer Sun celebration are speeding along. A representative from Canterlot named Twilight Sprinkle sorry Sparkle; has been spotted spying on locals. Whether she has come to help with preparations or take us over in the name of Canterlot we are not quite sure but we are sure the celebration will be wonderful.
Just a reminder to all parents out there, in order for your child to be a productive member of Pony Vale they must have their cutie mark as this helps them focus their talents and be productive. So in an effort to tutor children all fillies and foals who turn 10 and do not have a cutie mark will be taken in the middle of the night and sent to a secret location in the Everfree forest for training. We apologies if this means parents have to cancel birthday parties, we know how hard it is to organise those especially at Sugar Cube Corner.
In other news the mail will not be delivered today as the mailmare has mysteriously vanished, the all-knowing voices have told us that she walked into a blue box and disappeared. The letters will be delivered tomorrow, after the council has gone through it of course.
Readers I have received an invitation to attend a “Welcome to Pony Vale” party held by our favourite baker Pinkie Pie, she states that every pony is invited so I hope to see you all at the Golden Oaks library this afternoon and be sure not to tell Twilight Sparkle as it is a surprise.
Back to the celebration preparations and the pony in charge of decorations a Miss Rarity, has informed reporters that they will be fabulous. I for one can’t wait to see how she tries to top last year’s Winter Wrap Up.
Local wild life correspondent Fluttershy has written in asking that we all remember that the snake that lives under your bed and watches you sleep contemplating how you taste; is not feeling well and needs to rest; She asks that you do all your loud partying outside.
Readers I have moved to the party at Golden Oaks I hope you are all here; we are currently hiding in the dark waiting for Twilight to arrive. I don’t think this many ponies hid in one room like this since last year’s cleaning day. While we wait for Twilight Sparkle I take you to the weather.
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The crowd at the party is quite large this is good considering that community participation is part of the councils’ “do not pay attention to us” program in an effort to have ponies be more social.
Ponies are reminded that the Summer Sun Celebration is tomorrow night and Mayor Mare, has made it illegal not to attend. Punishment for breaking this law will be a 50 bit fine public shaming and friend extraction. I for one don’t see why any pony would want to miss the best night of the summer, this year DJ Pon 3 will be providing the music, Pon 3 has said she would take requests from fans. Fans will be given a list of council approved songs to choose from and if all the songs run out we will do it again.
Ponies are contacting the station and apparently today’s mail along with mail from the next month has been delivered along with a muffin and a note reading "sorry". Ponies are asked to hand in all mail from the future to make sure it has been properly censored, do not be late you will regret it.
Readers I hope you enjoyed the party, unfortunately Twilight Sparkle left early, she has asked to speak to me as she has an important message which will explain why she left the party 4 hours early.
"Good evening Pony Vale my name is Twilight personal student of our flawless and all-knowing Princess Celestia. I have come here to try and stop the return of Nightmare Moon, I have read a prophecy that states; "she will return on the longest night of the thousandth year" which is tomorrow night AND NO PONY WILL LISTEN TO ME!"
Now, as we all pretend not to know, Canterlot has thousands of prophecies, most will not come true but just in case tomorrow is the final day I suggest that you spend it with friends and family, enjoy the day as if it was your last.
Good Night Pony Vale Good Night.
Miracles happen every day and occasionally we are allowed to notice; Welcome to Pony Vale.
Readers tonight is a tremendous night I am at the radio station now but will be heading out to Pony Vale Park to watch the Sun Rise and I hope all of you have a fantastic night. Younger readers may not have been old enough to stay up all night or understand the importance of today. So we have a special guest coming in the studio, to both talk about the Summer Sun Celebration and to make sure that we have destroyed all of our electronic broadcasting devices. Mares and Gentlecolts, Mayor Mare will be joining us at 6pm.
First up; Big Mac you know? The farmer, has reported that all of the apples have turned into pears. Those of you keeping up on current affairs will know that this is very strange as apple season doesn’t end ever by order of a town vote. I talked to the youngest filly on the farm a Miss Apple Bloom of Pony Vale Primary School who said:
“I don’t like pears! Besides my name is Apple Bloom ot kinda name is Pear Bloom?! I DON’T WANNA BE A PEAR!”
Wise words indeed, and now a word from our sponsor:
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The Pony Vale drama group will be performing their play “Sun Rise, Moon Fall” for Celestia after she has raised the sun, so be sure to watch and support your community.
An update on the pears a blue box has appeared in the middle of the pear orchard. Witnesses informed us that the 2 ponies inside was a strange brown pony wearing a green tie and the mail mare. The strange pony declared the pears were evil; we couldn’t get the pears to comment.
The party in the park appears to be going well despite Twilight standing on a table and shouting “NIGHTMARE MOON WILL RETURN!” which was very disruptive, she was then escorted out by the Mayor’s secret police.
Readers I am proud to announce that Mayor Mare has just arrived at the studio! She is checking that there are no recording devices besides my assistant who will be writing down our conversation.
“Good Night Mayor Mare.”
“Yes it is isn’t it?"
“Younger readers may not know what is so important about Summer Sun Celebration, would you mind explaining it to them?”
“Summer Sun is the longest day in the Equestrian year, it is a time of celebration and Celestia this year is in Pony Vale! We will be first to witness the sun rise which will be seen all over Equestria!”
“How did this celebration start?”
“Well since Luna went on vacation Celestia has to raise both the moon and the sun until she comes back. We used to sacrifice a foal from a randomly selected town but as we know, that was stopped 4 years ago. Ever since then an appreciation party is thrown in whatever town she chooses to visit we all stay up eat cake and watch the sun rise.”
“Some ponies may not know how they can get involved?”
“Well Sea Salt it is very easy, the city council has created a mandatory art class where fillies from 3-6 make drawings for the Princess the one judged the best gets 500 bits for their family the worst gets banished to Everfree.”
“Sounds like a blast, thank you so much for being here.”
“Pleasure was mine.”
“Now readers I take you to the weather”
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The pony with the box has discovered that the apples that have turned into pears are actually apples pretending. Apparently they just wanted to see what would happen, the leader of the apple pear has released a statement stating that they are sorry for the inconvenience and will turn back into apples as soon as the sun rises, which if I am correct should be in 3 minutes.
Readers I have breaking news! Celestia has disappeared! It appears Nightmare Moon has arrived as foretold we are unsure of how the problem will be solved or how this will affect you or your family but I suggest that until we understand the plans for us by Nightmare Moon we welcome our new leader with friendship and blind obedience.
While we sit in the dark pondering what life events have lead us to the darkness we must remember that friends and family can provide all the light we need.
So on this longest night I say to you dear reader.
Good Night Pony Vale, Good Night.
Good Evening readers, I am Sea Salt and due to the sudden lack of day time our new and beloved queen Nightmare Moon has informed me that I must read you the new laws. Nightmare Moon has assured the station that these rules are firm but fair and after myself reading them I am inclined to agree. Parents are told to make sure your children are aware of the new laws and that they are obeyed. Punishment for disobedience or rebelling will be severe! The new laws are as follows:
1. There will be a mandatory 1 hour moon appreciation session in the middle of town square. During this time ponies are required to bask in the magnificent light of the moon. Ponies are also encouraged to use this time to socialise with others and to make friends.
2. As there is no daylight the ban on clocks has been lifted, every house hold will be provided with a sundial, which will now be called moondials as they will use the light of the moon to tell time.
3. Anypony studying art will now be required once a month to draw the night sky with a star pattern which they find appealing. The winner will have their drawing be used to design the star patterns on the night of the announcement. The losers will have their art burnt, participation is mandatory.
4. There will be a “face your fears” class every night where a randomly selected group of fillies and foals will be sent into Everfree to spend 9 hours there. After this time Mayor Mare’s secret police will rescue the survivors.
5. Everypony will read the book “Why Celestia was an Evil Tyrant” when it is released next June. Since it is illegal for Pony Vale residents to read books Twilight Sparkle, whom is exempt from most of our laws will read it in “Story Time” held in the library every night at 4:00pm.
Our new queen seems to be adapting to her new status rather well, these rules are the first of many that will be provided to all Equestrian residents.
In other news, it appears that Twilight Sparkle has entered the Everfree forest with 5 ponies of an unspecified age. They are now missing presumed dead our hearts go out to their families, sorry for your loss.
Back to local news, the Apple Family have released a statement to inform customers that the pears that refuse to turn back into apples until sunrise, are now on sale and the owners say they are apple flavoured. Much to the disgust of Apple Bloom, Granny Smith also said that:
"We don't wanna, but if these pears don't change back we will have ta change our name"
“I DON’T WANNA BE A PEAR!" says Apple Bloom interrupting us.
We wish the Pear family a lot of luck.
Now a word from our sponsor:
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Drink Colta Cola.”
Ponies have written in concerned that the lack of Sunlight will ruin crops. This is a concerned shared by many ponies including the Pear family. Our new and glorious queen has called a press conference.
“There are spells that allow plants to grow using moonlight, I will give them to you and the unicorns in every town can convert the plant life.”
We tried talking to Big Mac, you know? The Farmer, but we couldn’t get 2 words out of him. More on this story as it develops.
The 5 missing ponies who entered Everfree with Twilight Sparkle have now been identified, they are Pearjack a member of the pear family and their top apple seller, Rainbow Dash from Cloudsdale, Pinkie Pie who practices partying and the dark arts, Rarity a clothes maker in a town where ponies don’t wear clothes and Fluttershy the animal expert. Their families have been notified and Mayor Mare’s secret police are searching for the survivors.
ALL HAIL NIGHTMARE MOON!
Now the weather
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When asked about the new pears and if they were selling well Big Mac, you know? The farmer, said “eeyup” Also Granny Smith told us that the spells used on the farm make the pears taste extra sweet and sales are better than ever. Our beloved and all powerful queen Nightmare Moon has released a notice which mysteriously appeared in the middle of the night at 7:30 am, it states that the Sun tax will be stopped and that, since the whole point of her evil plan was to have ponies enjoy and use the moon, she will not be introducing a moon tax. Farmers are rejoicing at the saving of 45% of their income.
This just in, our beloved queen has been spotted entering Everfree forest obviously to rescue the survivors herself. Isn’t she just wonderful? Nothing could possibly go wrong! Oh no listeners I apologise I have activated the curse of being hopeful, for those who don’t know ‘hope’ is a terrible thing to have as it introduces the idea of change and the council put a curse on anypony who said those words. I am sorry I may have shared the curse with all of you.
Readers, reports are coming in of the sun rising all over Equestria; apparently the 6 missing mares were not dead but instead for reasons beyond the knowledge of this humble reporter, Celestia has returned! I apologise to all those ponies who need to cancel their orders of ‘Why
Celestia was an Evil Tyrant’ and to the farmers who already converted to moonlight.
In an unrelated story Celestia has released a statement, saying that Luna her younger sister and princess of the night, has returned from her vacation by a complete coincidence as soon as Nightmare Moon vanished.
And now readers I leave you with a simple message; while we may think things were better with Nightmare Moon we must remember that these things happen, it is up to us to adapt to them we can't change the world but we can change ourselves.
Good Morning Pony Vale, Good Morning