My life in Equestria

Chapter 2: Equestria, HO!

“Agh….why must gravity be a total bitch?” I had woken up after falling, I don’t know, from a REALLY large height. The last

thing I remembered was that storm coming at us, and it doesn’t help that we had no idea where we were. Everyone else

seemed to be awake, and Dash looked really happy. I mean REALLY HAPPY. “OHMYGODYESIMHOMEHAHAHA!” Jay looked

at her weirdly. “You live in the middle of nowhere? No wonder you were surprised to see us.” Spencer gave Jay a look of

annoyance. “We aren’t in the middle of nowhere. There’s a path near us, and those aren’t usually found in ’the middle of

nowhere’. The trees are also too far apart to…” Jay stopped him there. “Fine, fine, don’t start lecturing me. Jeez. It does look

like an apple orchard, though. And people usually own them, so we can find someone to tell us where we are.” Rainbow

Dash flew up to him, still thoroughly exited to be back home. “Yeah, I know who lives here! Come on!” She flew off extremely

fast, leaving a rainbow trail behind her. We started in the direction she went, until we heard a southern accent exclaim

“Rainbow Dash?! I darn thought you were missing! (If I suck with the accent, please tell) “Judging from that, we should hide.

Like, NOW.” We went in three separate directions, me climbing the closest tree and hiding in the leaves. Through them, I

could see Rainbow Dash coming back with an orange pony, with a farmers hat on it’s head. “Dash, there are no such things

as humans. You know as well as anypony that they’re only ponytales. Whatever the hay happened, I reckon you were

dreaming, or had your head hit on somethin’.”

“I’m telling you, Applejack! I saw them with my own eyes, and it was only a few minutes ago! They’re still here, I know it! They

were slow, so they might be farther back, but they exist!” Applejack groaned. “For the last time, humans don’t…” A crack,

rustling leaves, and a cry of “CRAP!” told me that Jay had fallen about two seconds before he hit the ground. Applejack and

Dash jumped back in surprise. Jay got up and brushed himself off. “Shoulda hid behind it instead. Ow. At least I didn’t land

on my…OOF!” Applejack had given Jay a sharp kick in the chest, and he actually flew back a few feet. As old instincts kicked

in, I had pulled out the knife I kept in my pocket, jumped out, and landed squarely on the orange pony’s back, knocking her

over, and putting the blade to her throut. “Bad move.”

“What the hay are you doing?!?!” Rainbow Dash screamed. It took me a few seconds to realize what I was doing. I looked at

Applejack, and the face she had on her made Dash look like she was smiling when she first saw us. I got off of her and put

the knife back in my pocket. “Sorry, instinct.” I looked over where Jay landed, and Spencer was helping him up. “Aren’t you

even going to hit her?” Jay was breathing hard, and I don’t blame him for wanting revenge. “No, no I’m not. I doubt that we

can even ask where we are at this point.” I looked back over at Applejack, and Rainbow Dash was trying to help her up,

which she was refusing. “I reckon I can get up myself, Dash.” She was still shaking from what I had just done, an I think I

would too if I were a pony and an alien did that to me. “Sorry about doing that, but when you live on the streets for half your

life, you kinda get protective of family. We’ll leave if you want us to.”

“No way! We get sent to another dimension, and you’re saying we gotta go and fend for ourselves?!” Jay was now ten times

more mad at me than at Applejack. “Don’t worry sugercube. If ya’ll didn’t mean any real harm, then I ain’t gonna ride you out

for it.” All three of us were stunned that she would even look at us, more or less offer us a place to stay. “You….really…holy

crap, we lucked out. I thought you would go get someone to take us out.” An extreme mood swing, but hey, we were just

spared a nomadic lifestyle. “So, are we deep in here or…”

“Actually, we aren't that far from the barn. I’ll help carry your brother. Sorry about bucking ya.” Applejack apologized. “S’ok.

But if anything’s broken, you better know a good doctor.”

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This line now represents scene transition, as Jay forgot half the stuff that happened, and Spence goes into extensive detail, which I’m not repeating

We arrived at the barn in about twelve minutes. It took longer because we had to help Jay, as he had been hit really hard.

He actually described it  like being hit by a tank. “Well, you gotta be strong to buck all these apple trees. And I’ve been doin

it for a long time now.” It was a normal barn, full of hay, apples, and farm stuff (Excluding animals). “Well, it ain’t much, but I

guess we’re gonna crash here for a while, at least until we find a way back home.” Jay sat on a pile of hay near the barn

doors. “I hate to burst your bubble, but unless unicorns live here as well, our chances of getting home are zip.” Spencer was

right. Only magic could return us to earth, and the only magical thing that could be friendly here were unicorns. “Hey, maybe

Twilight could help you guys!” Rainbow Dash said. “What, THAT god-awful book series? Yea right.” Jay said, rolled his eyes

at her. “Twilight could be somebody…er, somePONIES name, retard.” I was near kicking Jay myself. “Yea, Twilight is our

egghead friend. Since she always has her nose in a book, she might be able to help you guys.”

“SCORE! We are going to be out of here by tomorrow! And considering how late it is, that ain’t long!” Jay would’ve jumped

for joy, but the cut on his leg wouldn’t let him. “Uh-oh! Is it that late already?” Applejack looked panicked. “Yea, why? You a

werewolf or something?” I said. “No, mah little sister Applebloom has her friends over, and their gonna sleep in here.”

“No prob! We just hide, that’s all! They wont see head or hide of us.” Jay said, diving into the pile of hay he was on. “Think

you got the saying wrong, but who cares anyways?” Spencer shrugged. “Well’ if ya’ll ain’t seen by nopony then- wait,

where’d Colin go?”

“Up here!” I was tight roping across the rafters, a place no one would look. “How’d you get up there?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Not telling.”

“Fine. But if any of them come to me telling me about a monster in the barn, all three of ya are gonna get bucked.”

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After we ate (It was only apples, but they were DAMN good), we set up in the barn behind an enormous pile of hay, and

Applejack brought three fillies into the barn. Rainbow Dash was with them, as Applejack offered for her to stay. One was an

orange Pegasus with a purple mane, one a white unicorn with pink and purple hair, and the last was yellow earth pony with

red hair and a huge hair ribbon.  “Wow Applebloom, this is going to be the best night ever! And tomorrow we even get to go

apple bucking!”

“I know Scootaloo, It’s gonna be SO fun!”

“You said it, Sweetie Belle!”

“Well, now we know what to call them.” Jay said. “Not that we’ll be saying anything to them.” The five of them trotted to the

middle of the barn, and Dash and the fillies put down sleeping bags. Dash knew where we were, so it was good having her

here to drive them away from this spot. “Well, ya’ll have fun then!” Applejack said as she left. “Hey! Why don’t we try to do

something to get our cutie marks while we’re here?” Scootaloo was bouncing around while saying this. “Yeah!” The two

others replied. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!”

“Ow.” They were possibly the loudest thing we ever heard. They played around for about an hour, almost finding us twice.

After that they finally started settling down. “Well girls, that was fun, but now we’ve got to get some shut eye.”

“Awwww! But we aren’t even *yawn* tierd.” The three of them were definitely sleepy. But that changed in a second. A loud

howl came from the far end of the barn, and the fillies screamed in terror. “They have to stop screaming.” Jay said. Just

then, a wolf like creature came out of the darkness, growling at the four ponies. “Don’t worry girls, I’ll protect us!” Rainbow

Dash was about to lunge at the thing, but I was way ahead of her. I had already snuck through the darkness, grabbed a

(very conveniently placed) axe, and thrown it. The axe connected with the beast, lodging itself in it’s side. I was expecting

blood, but the creature was made out of wood (I’m getting really lucky, aren’t I?). The beast yowled in pain and fear and ran

out of the barn, back into the forest. “Sorry Dash, but you‘ll need a better reaction time.” It then hit me that the three fillies

were standing, wide eyed and opened mouthed, at what had just happened. Over where we were hiding I heard Jay say

“Well, we’re bucked!”

END CHAPTER 2

A/N Is obvious joke obvious? Anyways, the mysterious teleportation and superfast stair running will be explained in Chapter

1. So STOP WHINING THAT I HAVE AN EGO BOOST. And this is (most likely) the only heroic act I will ever pull off.