The Jerk

I noped as fast as I could, and wasn't paying attention when I ran face first into another face.

"CONSARN IT" She screamed before falling on top of me. We landed on my back, as I rasied my arms out to cushion her fall.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh...............not there.........." she moaned.

I take a look where my hands had caught her...DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! My hand went straight up her skirt, and past the underpants, I was definately past the Mason Dixon line, and clearly in the swamps of Missouri.

"Applejack, I'm so sorry, wait let me get you off of me."

Applejack stared down at me and gave a wicked smirk.

"Naw Anon, I thought it was you. I was hoping you'd have the brass ta say that to mah face one day. Now giddy up."

"Wait...what?"

Applejack clenched her very powerful thighs around my extended arm and began straddling like she was the belle of the rodeo.

"YEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWW UP AND AT EM ANON!"

OH GOD MY FUCKING FINGERS! THEY ARE GOING TO SNAP UNDER THE COLLIDING MASH OF SOUTHERN SUNSHINE!

"A-a-a-a-a-a-ap-p-p-p-ple-j-j-j-jaaack...." I muttered trying not to get kicked in the face with a eager boot.

"Yeah sugarcube? Unnnnnnnnnnnnh that's right.......oh God right there.........YES YES!"

Applejack lifted a miniscreen to her face and pumped her fist as trumpets began blaring out of nowhere.

"Applejack, its not as if this isn't particularly exciting or whatnot, I was just hoping that..." I muttered trying to manuveur my fingers at the speed of a 14 year old Korean Tekken 6 player, which I suppose didnt really help the situation at all.

"What you'll be wearing to the weddin? What we'll name our first child? When your going to take the job as CEO and President of Sweet Apple Acres?" she began rambling as her hips grinded harder and deeper on my throbbing fingers.

"Actually I was wondering if you've seen Rarity around? I was supposed to meet her after class."

Applejack suddenly stopped grinding upon my arm.

"Oh...Rarity. Oh... Y-yeah... I guess so..." Applejack's eyes seemed so distant, and I could her the sound of her heart shatter.

"You okay Applejack?" I began to wiggle a bit under her.

She noticed the situation and quickly jumped off of me, wiping her skirt with her hands. "Oh yeah... everything's fine... nothing weird about forcing your hands in my vagina in broad daylight because I thought you were finally confessing your feelings to me which I thought were certainly mutual, and honestly I've waited for, for at least 4 years now or anything.... Nope completely fine Anon!" She said as she crossed her arms, and grumped at me.

"Really? So then you'll take me to Rarity?"

"JUST GO YA PERVVY VARMINT! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY AH EVER LIKED YOU!"

And with a swift kick to the ass, I was hurled into the Library which was convienantly right next to Applejack. I landed face first in a pile of anatomy books, right next to a long hallway in the library. I stood up and shook my head. Goddamn! everyone has been a real asshole today!

What did I ever do to deserve such treatment? All I want to do is meet up with the girl I idolize and finally get some sweet sweet lovings! Is that too much to ask?

Fuck!

I wipe my pants off and I hear a small yelp of excitement from the Warren Buffet aisle of fiction.

"Spike, NO! Do not put your nose there!"

"I can't help it Twilight! Ever since I became a dog, there's....just something DOWN there that I have to smell!"

"S-s-s-s-s-spike! S-s-s-stop it! What if someone sees us?"

"Who's going to see? No one goes to the library! That's for nerds!"

A sudden moment of akward silence.

"Well, no offense I mean."

"O-o-okay Spike...just be quick about it..."

Curiousity getting the best of me, I snuck my head where the slurping sounds of dog could be heard.

"WHATS GOING ON HERE!" I screamed as Twilight and Spike both jumped in shock, Spike getting his tongue stuck in Twilights underpants, and boths Twilights and my face growing red.

"Ah....HA! I THOUGHT I heard dog sex in here!" I muttered, spaghetti falling out of my pockets, " and...I guess I was....right?"

"TWILIGHT HELP! IM SCHTUCK!"

I looked down to the purple dog whose head was stuck in a purple polymer panty prison.

"Yo man, that's a talking dog man."

"Anon I can.........explaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii OHHHH GOD SPIKE NOT THERE..........."

Spike ruffled his back legs, trying desperately to escape his limited viewpoint, Twilight not helping the situation close her legs around the pooch, crippling his mobility even further.

Well, as you can imagine, such a thing was indeed not silent as Ms Derpowitz, the teachers aide stomped over to our direction.

"ANON! HIDE US!" Twilight begged as she moaned slightly.

I nodded and leaned in front of Twilight and Spike's Wacky Animal Fun Time, blocking them from any viewer. Derpowitz stomped over and glared at me, and the bookcase adjacent from me as well.

"This is a library! NOW SHUSH!" She lifted a finger to her lips and made a shushing motion.

"Oh God....don't stop....ahhhhhhhh." Twilight moaned behind me.

Ms Derpowitz put both hands on her hips in a very sexy yet dominating librarian kind of way.

"Excuuuuuuuse me Anon?" She raised her eyebrow at me, as she began tapping her boot.

"Uhh... yeah, don't stop doing that Ms Derpowitz..."

"Oh GOD I'M SO HORNY!!!!" Twilight whimpered behind me.

"Oh God, yes, I'm so horny" I repeated monotonely and confusingly to Ms Derpowitz, who in turn continued to grump continually, as her foot tapping turned into a river dance of boot stomping.

"Oh God, Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" Twilight moaned slightly.

"Oh God, Fuck me Ms Derpowitz, Fuck me hard!" I uttered, gulping at her intense glare.

Ms Derpowitz seemed to have enough as she stomped over to me, as raised an open hand.

"Wait don't!" I began to anticipate being thrown aside, but instead felt a soft tap to my cheek.

"Oh Anon... you have no idea how much I wanted to hear that from you... I'll wait for you after school okay?" Ms Derpowitz winked and me and ran her hand down my chest and causually rubbed my loins.

"See you around stud muffin."

She swayed her bottom with every step she took, as if enticing me further to the idea of an after school special.

I exhaled and turned around, " She's gone Twi----"

Turns out Twilight got Spike out of her panties awhile ago, as he and I were watching Twilight masterbate furiously with a copy of 'Catcher in the Rye'.

"FUCK ME ANON! FILL ME WITH YOUR MAN ROD!" she moaned as she plunged the spine of the book deeper into her purple pleasure pit.

Spike looked up at me and laughed. "Yeah sorry man, we kind of planned this out."

"Were you always able to talk magical talking dog?"

"Yeah, don't you pay attention?"

"Why would I pay attention to a background character?"

"Dude, that's harsh."

Twilight looked up at me, and opened her mouth, as her tongue began swirling around in her agape stare, mirrored down below, as her legs spread wide, her privvies ravaged and plump. She moaned as she touched each eager lip.

"Fuck me Anon, right here. Right now."

"No, I don't like eggheads."

With that I slipped my hands into my pockets and causually walk away while whistling the Ghostbusters theme.