Magnus: A Bum's Tale

Owww. My head hurts. What happened last night? I gently arose from my slumber to find myself face-to-face with shrubbery, dead trees, and tons of smoke and fire all around me. It all came back to me. Janus and Metis. The conversations within the tear. Equestria. Immediately I tried to get up. Only to have myself fall onto my face once again. Thankfully no teeth were harmed in the making of this stunt. I looked down at me and tried to comprehend what I was seeing. Scales. Tons and tons of scales. Crap. What the actual fuck am I?!?

As the sun set on a glorious day in The Badlands, one could faintly hear a voice shouting absurdities into the sky. All in all, it was a rather, normal day.

After my brief freak-out, I sat on my butt, and tried to figure out what the actual fuck I was. What's my face doin?  My hand went to check the other place of my body. Scales like a dragon? Check. Tail? My claws went to my butt ,and found a rather large protrusion. Check. Penis? Quickly my hand goes down towards where my genitals used to be. *Phew* Check! I don't really want to become female. It's one thing to lose a species, but to lose one's masculinity is.....indescribable. Okay, spines? I put my hands to my back feeling the ruffled scales. How about wings?

I moved my claws up toward maybe my left and right side of my back shoulder blades. No. *sigh* It would've been great to fly. I sat down ,and began to think with my claws on my muzzle/chin. Well either A; I'm a type of dragon that has no wings, B; I'm a baby dragon or C; I'm a lizard. Can't really prove any of those options until other sapient species are met. Now what do I do?

In all the episodes and all the fan fictions that I've read, all the creatures that exist on Eques have some sort of magical power whether it be passive or direct. I slowly closed my eyes and searched.  Nothing new was here in my psyche. Since, I don't have wings I either must be attuned to the Earth or can use it directly. I put my hand to the tree and..... nothing happened. Hmmm. No instantaneous change in the tree. Guess I must be direct with my magical source. Otherwise I might be here a while.

I'm wasting my time. Magic IS important, but if I can't find basic necessities then all the magic in the world can't help me survive. I look around trying to find any signs of civilization. Unfortunately, all I can see is dead grass and sand. I look up. There in the sky is the sun. It's just sanding still high above me in a straight line. Well, there goes the idea of using the sun for directions. Hmmm. I'll just go left of the smoking crater that was my entry point.

5 hours later

UHH. So freaking bored. I've been walking ,and there's been no roads or buildings for miles. Thankfully, the sun is beginning to set which means I'm heading west, but I don't see how this information helps me when all I can see for miles is dead life. At first I thought this was a weird type of desert, but now I can only assume that this is The Badlands. Great. If I don't find any signs of civilization soon, I will surely die of dehydration or lack of food. "What the fuck am I supposed to do!?!" I shout furiously to the sky.

My response was a sound that came from above me. I looked back up and there was a piece of paper flapping in the non-existent wind. Over and over it flipped and spiraled showing multiple times that it had writing on it. I waited until it was within reach ,and plucked it out of the air and saw that it read;

Noland's "How To Use Janus and Metis' Gift Guidebook"

Step 1: Calm down.

Step 2:Think about where you are.

Step 3: Think about that sight we showed you in the rift.

Step 4: It's magic.

No other options except to try it. I sat down and closed my eyes. I think it might help me concentrate on the task at hand. I then brought the two instances in my mind. A dark and desolate landscape filled to the brim with dead plants sat next to that wonderful view of Northern Eques. The two sights disappeared from my mind. Crap! Did I not do it correctly? About 4 seconds later, another image appeared. This one showed Northern Eques, but it had a nice little add on in the middle of a blackish, brown landscape. A tiny little blue arrow you usually find on GPS's.

Nice. I stood up afraid that the image would go away, but it remained. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes in fear that one of Eques' many beasts had found me. Thankfully not, but the image remained in my sight like it was on a visor I could pull up and down without fail.

With newfound hope I calmly turned in the direction of many volcanoes. Thankfully, in this universe my fellow dragons can help me. If not, then I'll just casually sneak into their hordes and "borrow" the gems that I need. Yeah. Guess I'll have to become a thief to survive the harsh world. What else is new?

As I began my walk, I soon noticed that little things were happening in my mind. Memories of the past soon played out amongst the new. It was weird remembering something that I couldn't remember before, like me going to Disneyland, of all place, with my younger parents. *sigh* It's been so long since I last saw their faces. Hmmm. I wonder f I can remember anything else. As I walked I tried to bring out more memories, it worked ,but with a small price. As I pulled newer memories in the older ones chose to sneak back into the dark crevices from which they came in the first place. Don't really know if that's a good or bad thing.

Stop. I cannot dwell among things past. They will only cost me pain or grievance. It would be better to try to be productive. With how I'm to greet myself among my "people". I looked at myself. I did rather seem among the smallish variety. That could either mean I am a younger dragon, or I'm as tall as I'm going to get. They both technically don't matter until a dragon points out some weird cultural or social norm that I'm to follow. After my ,hopefully brief, visit to the land of dragons, where SHOULD I go?

I have no set destination. I have no risks except being killed. I guess I could find a magic user and see if I can harness this..."well" I have. Until I can actually see a problem worth solving, I guess I'm stuck in Eques with nothing to do. I mean I could go see the main 6 ,but I don't really want to do that. I could set up some weird sort of paradoxical shift and disturb reality as I know it.

Also, meeting the main 6 is boring and could likely get me murdered. When I meet them they'll probably be like" Oh NooOOoo! There's a dragon. Quick blast it." and bish, bash, bosh I would become dead or alive and trapped for eternity because humans are possibly the most chaotic of all beings, second to Discord of course, so yeah. I'm definitely going the non-killing/destructive way.

I probably should've paid attention instead of planning for the road that's ahead because I just walked right into the mountain. As I came back to reality at its finest, I noticed that the landscape had changed dramatically from when I last checked it. Instead of the dead plant life, I was greeted with lava rivers that pooled slowly and basalt covering everything in a near 3 mile radius. Also, there was a MOTHERFUCKING mountain in my face. I quickly stepped away from the mountain to look for a way up it. Surely, there'd be fellow dragons up there. Maybe they could help me get food because I really need it my stomach's starting to get hungry, and I don't want to eat myself,

Unfortunately, there seemed that there was no way to get up there. That makes sense actually. What does a race that mainly revolves on greed do to protect its hoard? It makes it nigh impossible to get to it, but how in world will I get up there? I look around hopefully for a set of stairs or maybe even handholds. Nope. Fate just wants to fuck me in the asshole. Why would they put a staircase up? They have GODDAMN WINGS. *sigh*

I lean against the mountain trying to make hope in a bad situation, when something suddenly happens. My arm slightly goes down into the mountain ,and I hear a faint whooshing sound. There to the left of me lies a big circular hole cut straight into the mountain. I cautiously move my hand away from the button, and go over there to see what's inside. The first thing to catch my eye were two sets of stairs going at about a 45 degree angle up. The first had longer strides, no doubt for a bigger dragon to climb. Thankfully the second set of stairs was enough for me. Then I noticed the entrance It was massive. It was really massive. Oh god. I'm a baby dragon aren't I? Why else would the entrance be bigger than Spike's weird growth spurt thing?

Okay. Okay. Calm down. Be a man. Even if you aren't an adult you can still act like one. Time to take a course of action. For now, until further information's found. Act like a child. If you're to stay alive, then you have to conform. With a breath, I stepped into the mountain's entrance, and went up the second flight of stairs.

POV change

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A lone dragon with blue scales and red ridges, easing into his before-prime was flying frantically towards the volcano he called home. Now normally Crag was a calm-headed dragon, but the unspeakable has just happened. A Mage-Drake had infiltrated their home. He was pretty sure it was a Mage-Drake. Who couldn't spot those horn-like claws in the sunlight? Now, this normally wouldn't put everyone on edge because usually you could easily deal with the sub-species, but that was when they were adolescent. This one was one in its toddler years.

No knowledge was ever recorded that any Mage-Drakes had reached that age. It could only mean that this Drake was incredibly crafty, or that it was good with magic. Both of these options meant that this "dragon" could probably outmaneuver any situation that called it to be violent or witty, and if that's the case then the whole of the tribe would be in trouble. And so, Crag hurried towards Elder in hope that in his years he would have any information.

When he finally reached the top of the volcano, he looked and saw where he spent his whole life. The lava pits to the eastward rim, the caves that hoarded the separate hoards of many dragons, to the south was the meeting cave its magesticness only rivaled by its gem-engraved walls, and finally to the north was the Elder's home. Hurriedly, he flew towards Elder's home in dire need of him not to be taking one of his century naps.

"Elder! Elder! Quickly there's an emergency!" he yelled. Unfortunately, Elder was taking one of his century naps on his personal hoard that he always kept underneath him. His white scales shined at one point in his prime, but now they were dull and dirty. Years of impatience for lava baths had finally done him in. "Elder! WAKE UP! THE TRIBE NEEDS YOU!"

Yet another misfortune was that Elder, with his age. had also at some point lost his incredible hearing he had when he was  a youth. Crag was at an impasse. Should he use the one thing that Elder was afraid of? He would probably et punished, but this moment was dire. "Elder quick there's a snake infestation!"

Immediately the dragon opened his indigo eyes, stood up to his full height and yelled the following five words, " AAAAAAAAAAHHH! Get them off meeee!" Yeah Elder was afraid of snakes of any kind. He could face the most dire monsters of the Badlands, but he couldn't face any snakes. So when he heard those words he began rummaging through his pile searching for the one thing he cherished, a dull sword made of the sharpest materials he salvaged from a  battle, diamond dragon scales. Now diamond dragons are a rare sight. Usually, the diamond dragons are born and bred deep within volcanoes, their teeth were sharp enough to cut through anything except that black onyx, so when Elder in his prime defeated three of them, and made a sword out of their hides without getting a single scratch he was instantly ranked up to the Chief's executive warrior. Now he was in his senior year waving his arms about trying to get imaginary snakes of his back, his tattered wings, and his arms by rolling on the ground, it was a hilarious sight.

Now Crag respected the Elder despite him not being any of the "Seven Lords". After all, Elder was elder for a reason, but he couldn't stop laughing even if his brood-mate were there trying to get him to have sex. Elder than proceeded to stop searching for his trusty blade and stared where he thought was the intruder. "Who are you and why have you made me an ass of myself?"

*sigh* "It's me. Crag. Quickly there's an emergency that must be addressed!" he exclaimed. Elder looked at him. In his eyes you could see how old he was. Wrinkles adorned around his eyes as he turned to ask that one question that Crag didn't think he would like.

"Alright, what is it that you want me to tell me? It had better be important." he stated. Crag nervously shifted about as he began to speak.

"A toddler Mage-Drake has entered the secret passage for battle-worn dragons as well as for ones that have lost their wings."

"I'm sorry ,but did you say a Mage-Drake has breached our walls?" he asked. Crag nodded furiously. The Elder sighed as he turned toward the lava pits for that was where the exit to the afore-mentioned tunnel led to.

"We should best be ready for anything. He could murder our kinfolk if he's managed to survive from a quick death by his own tribe. Rally all the Onyx dragons we have, and if you think we need more summon me. I might be old for my age, but I can still kick his sorry hide back to Tartarus." he ordered. Crag bowed and immediately flew away to the caves that housed all assortments of dragons. They lived in a good home. Every dragon had almost a full hoard. It was a good life, but that Drake could end it all.

Elder sighed as he watched a dragon he barely remembered fly away towards the caves. He was afraid of what was going to happen next. It had been told amongst the dragons for millennium about a legend beyond ages. He was afraid that he was the legend since he has lived so long probably hiding and killing just to make it through.

Elder sat down and began to polish his sword with a jeweled rag he found in the corner. He was afraid that the legend was coming true. He was afraid for his tribe and for his life, because the oncoming storm may sweep all things clean from the slate. He was sure that the revenge of a thousand brief lifetimes was coming to bring chaos and destruction. As he sat there polishing his sword the wind decided to blow into a slight chill. Yes. He was quite certain that the one called Magnus was coming.