Magnus: A Bum's Tale

I wake up and all I see is black and grey. At first I think they trapped me in a room, but  my body's free from restraints. That's good, but where am I? Well first thing to do on in any lost situation is to look around for familiar landmarks. With a shaky start I stand up. It's weird because everywhere I'm looking there's nothing except me. So how am I standing?

I carefully look down. Below me is a pillar of white that somehow can blend within the gray. It was about forever high and half and acre in diameter. Well familiar landmarks can just get knocked out of the park. I'm pretty sure I'm not even in the plane of existence for familiar landmarks. I'm probably still dreaming ,but if I'm just locked in a closet on acid I should probably check. I wave my hand around pretending I'm a conductor with an imaginary baton. All of a sudden music starts playing.

I think I recognize this tune from one of my video games I used to have. Unfortunately I can't remember which one. I continue waving my hand as I'm trying to figure out what the music was from, but as the music picks up strange things start appearing in the black. Eyes. Countless pairs of red eyes. Then they start coming. As they run I try to get a better glimpse at them. Heartless. You have got to be kidding me. That's the most clichéd thing to appear in a dream world. I mean come on am I in a remake of Kingdom Hearts.

I instantly stop the music and try to run from them hoping that whoever the god of dreams was could save my sorry ass. Wait a minute. I'm in a dream therefore these heartless can't hurt me. I stop, turn, and run my ass toward them at full speed, but to my surprise the heartless disappear.

Thank god. I think that the music may bring creatures to life in my dreamscape, or it may have been my realization that they weren't real. I don't really believe that without further testing I can't really know, so I pick the music from where it left off. They come back. Well, now I know that music really makes these creatures come to life. Instantly I stop the music. They go out with it. Now I know for sure about the whole Heartless scenario. I guess it's pretty understandable that things can be affected in my dream by music since it has such an impact on certain people. I really don't want to play any music any more though. It wouldn't help with the current situation.

I start walking hoping I'll run into something, until I realize that I can literally make anything here, so I literally pull a hover-car out of the black recesses of my mind. It basically was just a regular car except it had hover wheels on the under side that was kind of like the Back To The Future 2 delorean. I got in and turned it on with the key already in the ignission and I drive off.

It was kind-off boring after a while just hovering through this black and empty space. It was exciting at first because the pillar of white I think was an actual object, so I didn't know if the delorean would still hover in place. Thankfully I was not given a gruesome fate to an eternity of falling. Unfortunately as I got further away from the pillar of white it started to blend in with the grey of the world.

I kept on though because nothing ventured is nothing gained, because surely my mind wouldn't just have 1 object in this black-grey world. Eventually I couldn't see the pillar of white anymore ,so know I was just moving through the black veil. I wasn't even sure if I was moving or if I stopped at the edge of the black abyss thanks to no point of reference whatsoever.

After an eternity, or maybe 5 minutes, I run into people. Now imagine my surprise when it's those same fuckers that nocked me out in the first place. These things were probably from my subconscious which means they could try to make my stay here torturous. I pushed the cloaking field button that I materialized on the dashboard. Instantly I was just part of the same black grey. I slowed down the delorean because it still made sound with it's engine running at top speed.

As I crept slowly toward the pillar I could faintly hear more and more sound coming from the 2 apparitions in my imagination. Maybe they were talking about how to find where I was or just discussing how to quickly keeping me from the fun I was having. To my surprise they weren't talking about that at all.

Eda was saying," It's all your fault! His body could be broken and frightened in a place he knows nothing about! How could you just chuck him in there?"

Joan responded," Well, I didn't see you trying to do anything! I couldn't use illusions on him or any other type of visual stimuli in his brain! Wouldn't you had done the same?"

Eda shut her mouth as she stood in the quiet. Slowly and surely her cheeks start to turn red. "I guess I would ,but that doesn't mean we just chuck him in there. If he isn't alive, then we don't get another chance to play in the game. Your piece sucked a lot if I remember. She died the very 1st day." she responded.

This time Joan turned red, but with anger he said, "Yours didn't even do anything! He just sat there and stared at a wall because you didn't give him any intelligence whatsoever when he entered the game! Why did you even put an owl into the game in the first place?"

As much fun as it was seeing these two have a fight over a stupid game I really think it's weird that two apparitions of my mind were having a fight. How in the world could my brain have done that? I mean... it makes them  seem so lifelike. I crept slowly closer wanting to hear more about this predicament of theirs. "Can't you do a locating crypt to find him?" Eda said.

Joan fidgeted around for a while until he stated, "I would do it but I used a lot of my energy to send him here in the first place. It's going to take a while for me to recharge. Wait a minute ....why can't you do it?"

Eda huffed and turned around after she didn't think of anything to say I guess. Then she began doing something to the white pillar. Letters in strange characters began to appear whenever and wherever she touched on the pillar. After she made full circle, the letters started glowing.  Immediately they started floating off the pillar. It was rather interesting to say the least that my mind could come up with a way magic could be done. The letters then started to come together to form a sphere inside a sphere. They began to rotate faster and faster each going in a random direction ,but in one fluid motion. Then they stopped and flashed.

A bright light instantly appeared in the smallest sphere. It immediately formed into a beam. It was a surprise however when the beam hit my delorean. The cloaking instantly evaporated back into the blackness as well as the delorean itself. Unceremoniously I fell down onto my face. For a second there was nothing. Then extreme pain hit my face, my front teeth. OW. That's going to hurt in the morning. Wait.. Hurt equals pain. Pain equals life. Life doesn't equal dreaming.

Immediately, I'm sad to say is that I cried like a little girl. I don't know if it was due to the insane amount of blood pouring out of my mouth or if it could've been caused by the brash thoughts came into my head. Reality could just be fake. I couldn't be real. None of this can. Nobody can create apparitions out of nothing. I'm not special! Why me...why me...? Why am I suddenly turning crazy?

"Well... that's something you don't see everyday. A grown man in a ball crying his heart out. Get up man!!" yelled Joan. I tried following the advice of Joan. I couldn't act this girly. My manhood was in the balance. Eventually after about 20 seconds of crying my eyes out I got up and looked at them.

"Where the fuck are we and why was I able to create stuff out of thin air?" I could barely squeak out. I'm trying to stay in control, but when reality decides to ignore everything I expect answers.

"Noland, this is going to be difficult to explain." said Eda. She kept looking around as if expecting something to pop out at any given moment.

"This is basically the absence between universes." Joan bluntly stated. "Oh! Your omnificence is just a side effect due to the fact that you're touching the fabric of reality right now."

Eda turned sharply to Joan as I began hyperventilating. The absence of the universe means I don't really exist right now do I? Crap. Fabric of reality.... That means I'm destroying the universe with every step I take!!!!

"Janus! Why do you always have to be so blunt?!? Don't you see you're mentally damaging him?" Eda cried.

"Sorry. Geez why do you have to be such a killjoy, Metis?" replied Joan.  briefly stop the mental breakdown that's happening and try to ask a question. "Why are you calling each other different names?"

Joan stares blankly while Eda silently gazes at Joan. Inner mental battles be happenin. "Fine. I won't tell him, but how are we going to explain?"

"Alright ,alright. Noland, we are not who we've been saying we are." I guess that makes sense. Some people out there never want to use their real names. I guess since we're not with other people it's safe to use their real names or something. I honestly don't know why though.

"Okay, I can understand the different names situation, but why am I in this weird rift ,of sorts, between universes?"

Metis' gaze softens. She silently turns to me. "Noland, we're going to give you a choice. You can go back to your universe and spend the rest of your days as a street bum, or you can be our piece." She tells me.

Well, I guess this could be called the chance of a lifetime. I actually feel sorry for them. It looks like they're not used to doing...whatever this is much. "What does it mean to be your piece? I heard your conversation earlier, but you never really went on the details." I questioned.

"Becoming a piece is the greatest anyone could hope to achieve. A person, in this case you, is chosen by a god/goddess/gods/goddesses. The person will do whatever they want while trying to do the will of their gods. It's basically like that one game that your people made. I think it was called Dungeons and Dragons." she explained.

A god. Picking "pieces". It seems very familiar, but a god picking me?  "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Stop pulling my leg! Why would a god ever pick me?" I laughed hysterically while rolling on the floor. That was freaking ridiculous.

"Stop laughing and try to take this seriously! Who knows what your laughter could cause." Joan carefully stated. If these two were actual gods, then what were they afraid of? No god can be harmed. Unless of course, other gods were at work here.

"Sorry, but why would a god ever pick me? I'm just some random guy off the street." I ask. Janus and Metis huddled together. I could hear hushed whispering. After a while, they both turned back towards me.

"Well there are certain factors that contributed to your choosing. The first being that your mind can't be tampered with. Some of the players have gods with them, so it wouldn't be good for them to be poking around in your skull." Janus says.

Eda then interrupted," The second reason is that we don't want to leave behind a kink in the universe that you belong to. You are nobody. A person that can be taken away from their universe and not be noticed." Well... that's really depressing.

"The third and final reason is because you're as close to the Center as we can get." Janus quickly tried to tell. The Center. Sounds interesting. "Uhhh....question! What is this Center you speak of?" I asked.

"If we tell you this will you finally stop asking questions?!?!" Janus yelled. I was blown back by the power of his voice.

The pillar shook as though the wrath of a hundred earthquakes were all happening at once. "Yes! Please don't hurt me." I quickly pleaded.

The shaking calmed down until it finally stopped. When I finally looked up Metis was staring at Janus as though she wanted to burn a hole into his head.

I'm now seriously doubting my earlier opinion that these two weren't gods. These two can literally shake the ground. The one who shook the ground is literally losing manhood by the second as he slowly began to look scared by the other. I'm seriously thinking that I should probably not do anything to anger them. When I finally stopped my inner analysis of the matter at hand, I finally noticed that Janus was getting hounded by Metis.

"Don't you ever try to do that again! After that display I'm sure he'll want to go back to his home. Apologize!" Metis ordered. After a while Janus turned around. Amazing! It looked like those simple words had made Janus go all teary-eyed. I could barely make out his whispered sorry. The only thing left to do I guess is show some form of mannerisms. "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked all those questions to make you upset. I'll just only ask two more after you answer my other question. Is that okay?" He didn't reply ,but slowly nodded his head.

"Okay. The Center is the centerpiece of all reality. It's the original. We're all just variations of the same plane. Except Gods because we were created by the center." He mumbled out. Huh. The multi-verse theory was true. Surprising that is. Wait. "Why not just get people straight from the Center? It would surely be easier to do than get little-old me."

"Because Noland, nothing can get in and nothing can get out of the Center. There is no possible way for anyone or anything to do that. Not even Gods can tamper with it." Metis calmly stated. Huh makes sense. "Second question! What's different about my world? What makes it different from the Center?"

"The only thing that we could see ,that had any importance, was Obama Care. Other than that nothing." Janus listed. His eyes quickly shifted. Okay. Good to know I guess. Not really going to help me though because I have a feeling that he's not telling the whole truth.

"So.... What's your decision? We can't wait here all day." Hmm. Either stay in a world where crap always happens or go into the wild unknown hoping to do whatever the fuck I want. I think I'll go with Door number two! "I think the second option is better than the shit that I have to go back to." I answered. "Great! I'll just write the runes and you'll be off." replied Metis. She then began doing the same process as she did when she did a searching spell for me.

While she was rune making, I leaned over and whispered to Janus, "Dude, where am I going anyway?"

"Oh. We didn't tell you? Well... you're going to the magical world of Equestria. Surprise!!!" Huh. Equestria. Heck yeah! Best choice of my god-ridden life. I couldn't wait until I get there maybe explore the world, meet the Mane 6. The possibilities are freaking endless. While I was in my mono-rant about Equestria, I failed to notice that after Janus told me where I was going, Metis finished the symbols. They were rising . What happened next could only deserve this awesome song.

The symbols began to circle. As they went faster and faster, stars began to appear inside the circle. Worlds began to embiggen as the portal zoomed in on its target. I could just imagine it all as we were facing that planet. The vast ships sailing on endless blue around two main bodies . Islands speckled the East and West. Mountains loomed in the North. While, in the south a vast jungle appeared endless. I couldn't really see what was on the southern hemisphere though. We were facing Eques. How did I know? Something about it just spoke to me. As if reality was trying to drive the fact that this was Eques and to stop doubting shit. All I can say is that it's beautiful. It was almost like I could just look at it and figure out where the main countries of Eques were.

POV Change

"Do you think it was a good idea to push him in?" I asked. Metis turned around and glared at me. I swear that her gaze could make a planet come a flame. "Not really, but now we can't do anything about that. He's too far gone into the stratosphere." she brushed off. *sigh* Good. She's not that mad at me.

"I forget. Did we tell him about the new body scenario?" Metis questioned. My head went back to our previous conversation about how to get him to be our piece. I do admit that we had rough patches here and there in the plan, but all went well in the end. Nobody suspects that we ever inserted our piece. All went according to plan. Although I don't remember that we were going to tell him about the new body situation.

"We were supposed to tell him? I don't remember you saying anything about it." I replied. I know that the answer will make her angry, but what can I say. I have a really hard time paying attention to non-important stuff like that.

"He's getting a new body and you didn't mention it at all!!! It's like I'm working with newborns." She screamed to the blackness. Ah well. He'll work it out eventually. A new body is a fragile thing if you're not used to it. Even more so, when you have powers you're not supposed to have. Thankfully we put him somewhere where he can't mess anything up than it already is.

"Noland is rather interesting. With no practice whatsoever he blocked any magic I tried to do. He really is one big conundrum." I stated.

"I agree, but it didn't seem like he blocked your magic. It looked like he literally sucked it into his soul." Metis calmly explained.

"Metis, you're weird. Somehow you can see into the planes of magic. I don't know why I can't." I sadly jibed. Metis stayed silent awhile staring into one of the many versions of the tear. She was probably thinking about his rare condition. She was also, probably thinking about the lie we told Noland about the Center. We just don't want to go there and get caught by other gods trying to find pieces, but it was a happy bonus to find that world where some of the humans eat magic subconsciously. That will surely come in handy when he wakes up during Discord's wrath.

Seriously, that god is like one gigantic baby. Whenever he doesn't get what he wants, he throws fits. Although, he's good at parties. I remember the last one I attended with Discord. It was a blur of sex, booze, and meth. Don't freaking know how he got meth to work since gods can't really get high.

Hopefully, Noland will find out about Metis' gift soon. Mine is awesome, but if he found out about it this early in the game then he would blow our cover. A light flashes over my body. Soon, my entire body has transformed into a regular Earth pony. I turned to find Metis transforming as well, but into a pegasus. Can't really be anything else since all of Eques has some type of racism. Guess it's time to start Phase 2 of The Plan.