The Elements of Misfortune

The air of the tavern was dry and smelled strongly of alcohol. It was a simple tavern, with splintery planks as the floor and cracked paint on the walls. Tables and booths filled up most of the environment. The part that they didn't take up belonged to a wooden bar. Business was slow that night, leaving the grey stallion bartender to do not much but sort the bottles of liquor.

  The tavern was mostly empty, except for six ponies who sat around a large corner booth. There were three pegasi, one unicorn, and two earth ponies, all sitting around the table.

  They sat at this table because well... There was no other place to go. For a very stupid reason.

  One pegasus waved the bartender over with a bandaged hoof. She tried smiling when he walked over, but it sent waves of pain across her bandaged up face. As the bartender arrived, he choked back a small gasp at the scene in front of him.

  All six bore major injuries. The pegasus stallion that sat next to the brown pegasus mare was completely wrapped in bandages, save for his mouth and nose. His hair slumped over his face, shaggy in a black and cyan color. His fur may have been red, but for all the bartender knew, it could've been blood. It probably was blood considering his muzzle had fur as white as snow.

"Wh-what can I..." His voice trailed off as it came out as a high-pitched squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again. "What can I get y'all?"

The brown pegasus mare looked up at him slowly, as if she forgot for a moment that she summoned him. Her shortened, shaggy, black and white mane was hanging outside of a bandage that wrapped the whole half of her face. "I.. I can't remember what I wanted." She said flatly, her free green eye looked dull and tired.

  "We'll all take a mug of cider." The other pegasus spoke up, fixing his red and green gaze on the bartender from the other side of the table. He had red fur with a red mane that was mixed with white. Bandages wrapped around his left wing, left legs, and his ribs. His head and muzzle were both wrapped in a thick gauze.

"Would ya just like a pitcher?" The bartender asked. There was an earth pony stallion that sat next to the red pegasus. He was just as badly bandaged up like the white pegasus stallion. He lifted his head from where it was slammed in the table and gave a painful smile. "Please." He said in a small voice before dropping his head back onto the table.

  "A pitcher?" The brown pegasus snorted loudly. "Who the fuck drinks from a pitcher?!"

  The bartender tried not to flinch as the other earth pony, who had only his head bandaged, leaned forward and smacked the pegasus. "You are and you're gonna LOVE it."

At first, the bartender thought the pony was brown, but with a closer look, he noticed it was old caked mud. The stallion did have brown fur, but the caked blood was darker.

The brown pegasus looked hurt for a moment before breaking up in tears. "You're a dick, Blaze!" She choked out between sobs.

  "Don't mind her." A quiet voice from the middle of the booth spoke up. The voice came from a broken-looking white unicorn with short, blonde hair. "Somepony drugged her with Molly."

  "Fuck you, Ethelind!" The brown pegasus sobbed. "It was totally a Smartie. I think..." She stopped crying and looked into the distance.

  "Please, just get us our drinks." The bandaged up pegasus spoke up in a deep voice. "She's funner drunk than high."

  "'Funner' isn't a word, Sarcasm." Ethelind said while she rubbed the bandage that wrapped her ribcage, wincing. "Don't use improper grammar."

  The bartender shook his head and hurried off to retrieve their drinks.

  "These fucking pixies need to piss off already." The brown pegasus groaned, pawing the air with her hoof like a defenseless zombie.

  "Seriously, Spade, how the fuck does ecstasy look like Smarties?" The red pegasus snorted from across the table.

  "Fuck you, Hurricane!" Spade yelled at the pegasus. The earth pony that sat next to Hurricane winced at her volume.

  "Spade, please, for the sake of my headache, shut up." The earth pony mumbled with his face squished up against the table.

  "Ignore her, Trock. She's still... Not very sane." Blaze growled from his shadowed side of the table.

  The bartender arrived with the pitcher and the mugs. Spade immediately grasped for hers. "Please, pour me some." She whimpered quietly.

  Ethlind used her magic to levitate the pitcher around, pouring everpony a drink, excluding herself.

  Blaze rolled his eyes and grabbed the pitcher. "You're gonna need to numb the pain." He said before Ethelind could object.

  The white unicorn sighed and accepted her drink. "Thanks." She thanked Blaze before sipping her mug.

  "Woah.... I just realized something..." Spade gasped when she set her  half drunken cup down. "We are totally gonna get executed."

  Everypony stopped dead at her words.

  "Holy shit." Hurricane gasped, slightly shaking.

  The bartender was now completely interested. "May I ask something?" He finally spoke.

  Blaze waved his hoof uninterestedly. "Ask away."

  "What  happened?"

  Ethelind set her cup down, as did Trock. Spade just choked on the cider she was chugging down.

"So, you want to know, eh?" Hurricane finally said after five seconds of awkward silence.

  "If it isn't too much trouble." The bartender asked sheepishly.

  "Alrighty then, pull up a chair, this is gonna take a while." Sarcasm said, wincing as his mouth moved.

  When the bartender was seated, Hurricane shook his head towards Ethelind, indicating she start.

  After a small sigh, she looked at the bartender. "It all started when Celestia came to the Summer Sun Celebration..."