The Elements of Misfortune

   The six walked a bit slower this time, letting Sarcasm take it a bit easy.

  "I don't need no fucking help!" Sarcasm would protest, refusing to admit he was hurting.

  Soon, all six swayed on their hooves.

  " Great idea Ethelind." Trock muttered.

  "Trock, please, don't complain right now. I know it was a stupid decision. " Ethelind murmured back. "I'm just seriously in no mood for lecturing right now."

  She walked with her head low enough that she never saw the cliff edge before it was too late.

  "Oh, crap!" She gasped as she lost her step and fell over the edge.

  "Ethelind!" Trock yelled before reaching forwards. He managed to grasp Ethelind's hoof, and now Ethelind dangled over the edge, only one hoof grasped by Trock as her only support.

  Sarcasm and Spade rushed to Trock's side, and each reached down for Ethelind.

  Trock looked down for a moment, and snickered.

  "Let go." He said to Sarcasm and Spade.

  Sarcasm looked at Trock skeptically.

  "What? Why should we-" Spade began before Trock nudged her and motioned to something under Ethelind.

"Ohhh..." Spade smirked.

  "Agh! Don't you guys dare!" Ethelind wailed, kicked around wildly. "What is it?" She said as she tried to twist her neck to see what it was.

  When she looked away, Spade nodded to Sarcasm and all three let go.

  "What the fuuuuuuu~!"came Ethelind's voice as she fell down the cliff.

  Hurricane, who was already waiting to catch her, intercepted Ethelind in mid-air.

  " ~uuudge!" Ethelind finished as she lay in Hurricane's grip.

  Hurricane looked away from her as he flushed a bright pink before setting her down on the ground.

  "Oh  Ethelind, refusing to curse even when sure death is upon you." Spade said as she flew down to meet the others.

  Ethelind was shaking, still shocked about her fall. "Wh....what the fricker frack???!" She stammered.

  "Just though Hurricane might want to carry ya." Spade replied, landing and looking around.

  "Uh... Where's Blaze?" Hurricane said, changing the subject quickly.

  Something fell with a heavy thump into the bush next to him, along with a loud, "Son of a bitch!"

  "Found him." Trock said as he helped Sarcasm down the cliff.

  Hurricane hovered over to the bush and looked over. Blaze lay sprawled in the bush, his arms tangled around the branches. "A little help?" He asked Hurricane sharply.

  "It's funner to see you suffer." Hurricane smirked down at him.

  "You little fuckdamn dickhead!" Blaze snapped furiously at Hurricane, wriggling violently in the bush.

  "Funner isn't a word." Ethelind said from behind Hurricane. "Help me get him out so we can get this night over with."

  Hurricane rolled his eyes as Ethelind used her magic to break the branches tangling Blaze's arms. Hurricane then heaved the angry earth pony out of the bush.

  Blaze's fohawk now hung over his eyes. "You asshole." He said as he punched Hurricane roughly in the arm.

  "At least the terrain is clear." Trock pointed out.

  "For now. Across that trench looks like some sort of building." Sarcasm murmured.

  Sure enough, a large, old castle loomed in the distance. "Maybe we can rest there for tonight and find a way out of here tomorrow. Fuck that creature." Spade said, starting towards the building.

  Hurricane, Blaze, Trock, and Sarcasm all waited for Ethelind to object and insist they move forwards.

  But, even Ethelind nodded her head in defeated agreement and followed Spade.

  "That's the first." Hurricane said as he took flight and followed.

  Eventually, they reached the deep trench Spade mentioned earlier. Sarcasm looked over the edge. "It's, like, bottomless." He reported.

  "So's your mom." Trock sniggered quietly behind Blaze.

  Sarcasm spat into the trench and leaned forwards the trench, straining to.listen.

  "Dayum, I never heard it drop." He said.

  "Look over here!" Hurricane motioned.over to a broken bridge.

  "I really don't feel like luggin' y'all across one by one, and both Ethelind and Sarcasm are too exhausted to even try levitation. So if you want to carry all of us over, be my guest." Spade muttered matter-of-factly.

  "Well, if I can find the other side of the bridge and bring it over to the other side,  I'm pretty sure I could secure it and you guys can walk across." Hurricane said, and looked over the edge.

  "Then do it. There's no need to narrate your pathetic excuse of a life." Blaze snapped.

  "It can't be far." Hurricane murmured thoughtfully as he leaned over the edge more to try and get a better view.

  "Achoo." Spade said sarcastically as she shoved Hurricane as hard as she could.

  "Fuck!" He yelled as he went over the edge.

  He fell for a good five seconds before Blaze yelled down, "Use your wings, moron!"

  Hurricane blushed and snapped his wings open. "I knew that!" He called back up indignantly.

  "How is it down there?" Ethelind called down.

  "You guys can't see?" Hurricane called back.

  "No, the trench is so deep fog covered you up." Spade yelled then added, "Damn, it was thick enough to cover up your ego!"

  Hurricane rolled his eyes as he found the other side of the bridge.

  He grabbed the broken post in his teeth and lifted it up, the bridge creaking as he moved it in what seemed like the first time in a century.

  It hurt his teeth, of course, but he didn't care.

  "Oh, look, he actually did it." Came Trock's voice. "I thought he was a fuck up."

  Hurricane landed on the other side and began tying the post on, making sure it was secure enough.

  "Oh, he's a fuck up. Carrying a bridge don't change that." Replied Spade's voice.

  Hurricane was about to make a sharp reply when a new voice came out from the woods.

  "You're not a fuck-up, Hurricane." Said a mare's voice.

  From within the woods, out stepped a pegasus mare. She was dressed in a type of Wonderbolt's barding. Only it was... Darker.

  She was flanked by two other stallions, dressed in the same attire.

  "Woah... What?" Hurricane asked, backing away from them.

  "We're the Shadowbolts." The mare replied. "My name is-"

  "So, you're like, what, a bunch of cheap knock-offs of the Wonderbolts?" Came Trock's voice.

  Hurricane turned to see the five already crossing, Trock in lead.

  "No, we're even better." The Shadowbolt replied, smiling.

  "How so?" Trock asked back.

  "Hey, dude, this is my conversation. Back off." Hurricane snapped. Then he turned back. "Okay but seriously how are you better."

  "Well... uh...." She stammered, looking to one nervous comrade to the other.

  "We look pretty?" The left stallion said.

  "Adorable. Now can we go?" Ethelind said from behind Hurricane.

  Hurricane jumped and looked around at Ethelind.

  "Dayum, girl, you gotta stop jumping out at ponies." Spade said as she walked by. "You nearly gave me a heart attack and now you almost gave Hurricane a wing boner."

  "Wait, what?!" Hurricane and Ethelind said in perfect unison.

  "It doesn't matter, can we go?" Trock asked and motioned where the Shadowbolts were. "The pretty princesses are gone, and the castle is only a few yards away."

  "I actually agree with Trock for once." Blaze said next. "Let's just leave Sarcasm behind and book it."

  "Shove a cactus up your ass, buddy." Sarcasm snapped as he walked past Blaze.

  "Pretty sure that's Hurricane's job." Spade smirked.

  "Fuck you." Hurricane muttered.

  "By anyone but you, sweetheart." Spade said as she walked by.

"But save it for a certain Germaneigh pony." She whispered as she passed by him.

  "You asshole!" Hurricane yelled at her.

  "Can we please just fucking go?!" Blaze yelled at all of them loudly.

  "About 50 steps ahead of you." Sarcasm called from somewhere by the building.

  They all finally arrives by the old structure. It looked to be a castle on it's last legs, iffy to collapse any moment.

  "It's a roof over our heads, so fuck it. If a stone slab falls on me and crushes me while I'm sleeping, please burn my house down. Momma would be so ashamed to find all my porn." Sarcasm said as he walked inside.