Crossover all the stories!

The commander walked up to the podium, and cleared his throat. He then cleared it again. He then stopped clearing it, due to the fact that he wanted to have some tea.

He was naked.

The fifty-year old screen slowly powered up, and with a grind and a huff turned on. In a terrible sound quality that could only be acquired from speakers worth less than a dollar, a serious, no nonsense voice said-

"Commander, we are extremely impressed by the progress of the XCOM project so far."

A Sectopod, a massive two-legged metal monstrosity capable of blowing apart soldiers with plasma and lasers blew through the reinforced metal walls of the command center, and burnt half of the engineers who were controlling the hologlobe before it was put down.

"You're research projects have invariably been useful to the project, while simultaneously advancing humanity as a while."

Doctor Vahlen, the head scientist, frowned as she stared at her most recent invention, the electrostatic underwear.

"You have some of the finest soldiers in the entire world, who are equipped with the best equipment we have to offer."

One of the hobos in the barracks tried to block a punch in the sparring ring, but was instantly killed as his paper mache armor shattered, impaling him on the ground.

"You have allocated your budget to worthwhile pursuits in engineering, and have only built what was necessary."

The head engineer stared at the one thousand stink bombs he had, and wondered what he was supposed to do with them.

"In light of these recent events, we have decided to lock you in your room, since the Earth is pretty much saved anyway. From now on, you will merely have to write pony fanfiction, in which you crossover pony, with everything."

Council member one stared at zero.

"You think he'll fall for it?"

"He'd better, or else humanity is screwed."

And thus, was this piece of crap born. I hope you're happy.

"Hey, we've recieved the first chapter!"