Deus Ex: Cosplay Revolution

There are few things more chill than a trench coat. Not the pansy kind you see on all these goth pussies, or the MANLY MCMANLY of World War One Officer-and-Gentleman trench coats, but your "I'm the protagonist of an action film" trench coat. The kind that billows in the wind, that you can hide a bunch of weapons in, the kind that's ridiculously cool when worn by the right person.

Fortunately, I'm the right person. Cyberpunk was one of my favorite genres, and considering I was going to a con as a character in one of my favorite works of cyberpunk, then I had to rock the part. It wasn't just the trench coat, though. It was the turtlenck, the body armor, the straps, even the glasses and hair and markings. Yup, I was definitely rocking the part of JC Denton.

Sure, it looked a bit cheesy. Sure, it was sweltering. Sure, I was probably going to get a "hey, Neo!" from someone, but damn if I didn't look like JC Denton's long-lost twin. Even managed to bring along a fake baton, along with a pitch-perfect prop of the assault rifle and stealth pistol.

"Show me ya moves," a friend of mine yelled.

I looked at Waldo. He was in a Captain Falcon get-up, complete with golden nipples and glowy-eye visors. Someone in a Mario costume had appeared, and I half expected them to break out into fake fighting. Happened often, considering this was a smaller, more local convention, and everyone knew everyone else. If anything, I'd be able to look at the aftermath and quietly whisper "what a shame."

It was when they walked over to the Dance Dance Revolution booth that I remembered Josh was a sucker for doing weird shit. We were friends, yes, but there comes a time when a guy needs to man up and coolify himself. But until then, we were the "cool guy, weird guy" duo. Me being the cool guy, him being the weird guy, if that wasn't clear enough.

I'd probably meet back up with him in a couple minutes, soon as he got done playing DDR.

I was strolling down the tables where people were selling things, looking for wonderful swag and loot, when the thing happened.

See, our town is full of nerds. It's as blunt as I'll put it, and I love it. You can walk around with a Star Wars t-shirt and hear someone yell "it's a trap". You could hear people whistle The Lone Ranger theme, or cars painted to look like KITT or the DeLorean. Basically, there are a bunch of neckbeards where I live, and I've got no problem with it.

But there is one fandom I've no feelings for one way or the other: Bronies. Sure, in my circle of friends I was the only one who wasn't, but that doesn't mean I hated the show. Just wasn't my cup of tea.

Speaking of tea, I was walking up to one stand when I saw something that caught my eye. It was a little cylinder, four ridges on the side, about the size of a thermos but thicker. One end had a cap with a red button on it, along with a brightly lit screen. The space between the ridges was bright blue, and almost looked... swirly. Seemed like it was just one of the few fandom-related objects on the table.

It caught my eye, because that was one of the augmentation canisters from Deus Ex. So, I was walking up to it when I see this... pegasister, whatever you call a lady member of the pony-loving fandom, also walking up to the stand. She wore a jumpsuit that looked like it came out of Fallout, a big ole' number two emblazoned on the back. Some weird-ass carbine with zebra patterns hung off her shoulder. Her hair was brown, fell to about he shoulders, and I could tell she liked ponies by the six figurines on stands hanging off her bag, the gray horn sticking out of her forehead, and the brown tail stuck on to her back.

Eh, just another nerd. None of my business what she thought was cool or not. Hell, I thought digital watches were pretty snazzy, so you can laugh at me all you want for that.

Anyhow, I walk up and bump elbows.

I'm hoping to god she doesn't turn to look, because I'm already picking up the canister and giving it a good run down.

"You're... uh... JC Denton, right?"

I nodded. "You're a character from My Little Pony, correct?" I managed to get the voice down pat. She almost seemed surprised at how well I could impersonate him.

"Yep. Littlepip, protagonist of Fallout Equestria."

I cocked an eyebrow at that. Waldo had talked about that one fic. "Bit of an odd choice to come to a con dressed like that. Ponies aren't my cup of tea, but mixing them with Fallout seems like a bad idea."

"Considering I did the cosplay, it might not be one."

The canister in my hands most definitely felt like an accurate reproduction of the Deus Ex one, right down to the swirling patterns of nanites in the center. Tempting to open it, but until I asked the shopkeeper that was a no-go.

It almost surprised me when she tapped my shoulder. I turned, looked at her, and she was wearing a necklace with a... jewely shiny thingy that looked like the sun. "Whadda ya think?"

"The hell? Why are you asking me?"

"Outside opinion. Always good to have one."

I groaned. "From a guy. That's a real bad idea."

"Do I look good in it or not."

I set the canister back down. "Doesn't matter to me. You look good regardless of the necklace on your neck."

A sudden barge-in by Waldo got my attention. "There something you want to tell me, Nick?"

I looked at him. Of course, he'd be the one to catch me conversing with a pegasister. "None of your business, Falco."

He leaned back, overdramatic side kicking in. "None of my business? You're telling me that you actually finding a girl is none of my business? What is the world coming to, Armageddopocalypse?"

Of course. He had to bring up my history of romance. I'd tried in my freshman and sophomore years to get a girl. It failed, miserably, and from then on out I'd reserved myself to finding a different metaphorical lake to fish in. Except this guy had to bring it up. "Look, you two would get along better, I don't know anything about ponies, you two do."

"Nope," said Waldo, "you and Littlepip talk. I command it."

My hand came up to rub my brow. "No."

He took another step closer, grabbing my shoulder and whispering into my ear. "Play along, man. I can totally get you a girlfriend."

I pushed him away. Before it could devolve into us calling each other stupid names, some guy running away from something knocked into Waldo. Then he got knocked into me, the Pip chick, and the table.

Slow motion bullet time shit might have happened, but it was so fast I barely had time to register that the canister had fallen. Barely had time to register it had fallen on me, shattered when it hit the 3d-printed metal buckles of the body armor, and splashed the contents all over me.

I did notice the necklace on the chick's neck glowing.

Had about three seconds to look at Waldo and whisper "what a shame" before light blinded me.