A good, clean, old fashion fan fiction.

One day Fluttershy was sitting at home eating a crumpet filled with yummy blood. She heard a knock at the door. “Damn nigga fuq?!?! It’s like 3 in the morn-izzy. Who could that be?!” She walked over and opened the door. It was Applejack “Hey, F-izzy! I heard you rustled some jimmies today! I’m proud nigga!!!!” She said and ran away.

“Oh, this again!!! THANKS, OBAMA!!!!!” Fluttershy yelled angrily at the sky.
“GOD DAMMIT FLUTTERSHY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!” Giant Obama yelled down at her and rolled over in his giant obama bed and went back to his slummer where he dreamt about the fantastic my little pony fan fic his daughters wrote for him.

“That Obama….” She shook her head and smiled. Obama was always doing his crazy obama things. “I love obama” she said. “But…”

Another knock on the door.

“Oh, who could this be?!?!?!” She went to the door and opened it.

It was obama.

“I heard you confess your love to me, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy’s heart drop. The 50 years obama lived in the sky above her he never once knew her feelings about him.

That was no more.

“I’m married. I can’t be with you. You stupid hoe. You crazy hoe.” He said while Nicki Minaj started singing “Stupid hoe” behind him.

“OH MY GOD NICKI SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR MUSIC IS TERRIBLE!!! I LITTERALLY AM ONE FUCKING STEP AWAY FROM GETTING CELESTIA TO EAT YOUR FUCKING FLESH YOU ANNOYING CRAZY GIRL!!!” He Yelled. Nicki cried.

“That song… was written by my grandma. It was the last song she ever wrote…” She sniffled.
Obama said, “That’s because I killed her for writing such a crap song, remember?!?!”

Meanwhile Spike was walking around doing the shit he do. “HEY SPIKE” A voice said. Oh no Spike thought. Obama… He thought. “Hey SPIKE HEEYY!! HOW IT DO!!!”

“oh my god, I’m a dragon!!! You’re a HUMAN!!!! You know that….”
“shhhh,, shhhh shhhh” He pressed a finger against the fledgling dragons mouth. “I don’t care about our peoples bloody wars. I love you.”

“But, Obama, you’re married!!!!”
“I… I know….” Obama cried. “But…. I-”
“OBAMA!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK U DOING?!?!” Michelle Obama yelled. “I told you that Spike is our SON. What the fuck?!?! YOU know this RUSTLES my JIMMIES!”

“I know, but I love him.”

Then a blood fell from the sky.

“YAY BLOOD!!!!” Everyone yelled. “My favorite!!”
They all danced and drank it. It was so yummy!!!!

I awoke to the sound of keys clicking. “Who’s here?” I jump up and look over to my laptop that is opened and turned on. I look down on it and see Rassy…the parasite.

“Rassy? Are you writing My Little Pony fan fictions…again?”

“You bet I am!”

And this is what happened when you let a Tick write fan fictions about ponies.