Dear Princess Celestia,

After examining Pinkie Pie, I can come to the conclusion that there is some alien magic involved as I managed to exclude certain forms of magic that I have never seen. It’s ways are more subtle, and its effects on a pony’s mind are in fulfilling some urges rather than attacking it head on. Also, Pinkie Pie seemed rather calmer then yesterday. She came in, wearing latex stockings of all things, which I must admit, looked really good on her. She laughed when I said the word examine, and even turned her, well plot into my direction. She was acting very naughty, and I really wanted to spank her. Seconds were like hours in that moment, and my mouth was drying up faster than a river bed in a drought. After Pinkie Pie lowered her succulent behind, she even told me that she was leaving sugar cube corner to open a new shop right next to it. I asked if it will be a candy shop, and she just winked and said it will be, in a way.

After she left, I decided to form a magical barrier around my mind, just in case. Sadly, I have not mastered the technique enough to protect everyone in town, so mine and Spikes will have to do for now.

I must also confess that I have been having strange dreams of late. I was hoping if you could inquire Princess Luna if she could help me, but if she has more urgent cases, I understand.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note

Pinkie Pie, always trying to make you smile... and moan it seems.