Princess Luna Finds a Gun

“Did you just say that? Did you honestly just say that?”

“I don’t understand the problem, you and your friends say that all the time.”

“Oh no, Flash. That’s our word, you are not allowed to say that! Get out of my tree!”

“But, but, but!”

Twilight was having none of this intolerant bullcorn, she just levitated Flash Sentry and tossed him out of her treehouse. Like, right through the window. She could’ve let him use the door, but that wouldn’t have been fast enough. Then she decided to pour salt on the wounds, so to speak.

Meanwhile below, while Flash Sentry was wiping off bits of window and grass off of himself, he heard a loud crashing noise coming from inside the treehouse.

“Ah jeez, not my precious antique bottles! My father gave me those!”

Now, he didn’t expect a response, just some pity, but he got a response instead because Twilight was all outta pity. “Yeah, well Spike’s calling them dinner now!”

And there was a sound of crunching that emanated from inside the treehouse. Flash knew this was just a tactic to elicit a reaction, so he just bailed before she discovered his secret stash of corndogs.

Anyways, back in the treehouse Twilight was feeling pretty satisfied with herself as she watched her baby dragon assistant, Spike, picking up shards of bottles and snacking on them happily.

“Gee Twilight, I appreciate this but did you really have to break his bottles? I mean, that seems kinda mean.”

Twilight shook her head at this. “Spike, he said something that nopony should ever say. Take a lesson from him, that there are some words you should never say in company, especially me.”

“All he did was call you an egghead.”

“Exactly, Spike! It’s that kind of language that has set unicorns back a thousand years.”

“But haven’t unicorns always been pretty well off?”

“Yes, well.” Twilight was at a loss for words at this comment. It seems she has taught her assistant well. Too well. She made a mental note on one of her many mental lists to be mentally afraid of Spike in the near future. Of course, he was staring at her as she was thinking to herself so she knew it’d be best to reply. “I’m not wrong.”

Spike would’ve opened his glass filled mouth to reply to this, but they were both interrupted by the sudden crash of thunder, followed in not even a second by another, and another. Basically it was thundering like crazy, so Twilight looked out the window.

“Huh, it sounds like we’re going to get rain, but I don’t see any storm clouds.”

And then Luna crashed through the other side of the treehouse with the machinegun in tow firing behind her and just blowing apart, like, half of Twilight’s bedroom. Needless to say, Twilight probably had a heart attack.

“Twilight Sparkle, I require your assistance!”

So Twilight didn’t even bother to look behind her, she just knew that whenever somepony needed her help it always meant that something was going tremendously wrong and it’d be best not to acknowledge it right away. Plus it’s Luna, the last time Luna called on her and the other elements of harmony they ended up ruining the entire foire of Celestia’s castle.

“Princess Luna, please turn off that machine. Then tell me what your problem is.”

“That’s just it, my problem is the machine! It won’t stop destroying things!”

Twilight slowly, and without moving her body, turned her head like an owl and just looked behind herself and saw that the entire west side of her house was obliterated. The rest of her body snapped to join the way she was now facing as she turned from her usual lavender color to red.

“Luna, you’re ruining my house!”

Twilight ran over to the broken firearm and held it down, but it could not be quelled by any machination of pony or magic. Luna joined in and Spike, who was just standing around, just stayed away to get the best view because he’s of rational mind. And as we all know, anyone in their right mind would just stare at the sight of two princesses cuddling a machinegun into submission because no mind can process what else to do when looking at this.

So with a little bit of effort, they managed to situate the gun so that it was firing safely into the air and not destroying anything else.

“I apologize Princess Sparkle, but I believe you can see the problem.”

“Luna, this is crazy. Why did you bring this thing here? What even is that?”

“I thought you’d be able to assist me with this. I believe this device is broken and it won’t stop firing off.”

“Alright, let me consult my books and I’ll get back to you with this. In the meantime, you and your machine can’t stay here, I can’t handle my house getting destroyed like this.”

“I understand.”

“And for goodness sake, please stay away from the schoolhouse!”

Luna nodded and took her gun and jumped through an intact wall of Twilight’s treehouse. She then proceeded directly towards the schoolhouse.